Eric Holdt wrote:

Dragonboy:  We're certainly no DB, but we'll do our best to fill the void.

*sniffle* Will you do that little dance he does?

�Sorry, dad. Life�s expensive, and being poor�s a real pain.�
He knew, but this sucks pretty hard anyway.

Dragonboy:  Startling, but sadly a truth to the evil power of money.

Stiel:  Might consider changing the last sentence to "He knew, but it 
sucked..." just to make the tense of it a little smoother.

On this and various other things, I'll just offer that part of the great 
challenge of almost all of these was getting them down to 100 words. Or 
in some cases, fitting in a word here and there. In some cases, 
perfecting the writing had to suffer to make them the actual definition 
of a "drabble" that 100 Bullets uses.
Not using this as an -excuse-, just stating the -reason-, in some cases.

"Hi, Mister Priest!" And, without breaking stride, she swept a very
shocked-looking Wolfwood up, put him over one shoulder, and carried him
up the porch steps and into the house.
"... Poor guy," Vash said solemnly, shaking his head.

Stiel:  Fortunately, he was never a very good priest to begin with. ;)

Still, Milly's a big girl. A big, strong girl.

... She-Hulk and Juggernaut, anybody?

"Master?!" Legato blurted, looking distinctly shocked. "... 'Leggy'?"
"I'm so happy to see you! I've been so bored since, well, a week after
this happened. I learned a word called 'paizuri', let's try it."
"I, I, I-!"
Vash watched Knives drag Legato into the house. "... Heaven, or Hell...?"

Stiel:  Depends.  What the hell does paizuri mean??

*cough* ... Titfuck.

- First Times -

Milly simply giggled, and took another swig from her glass. "How about
you, Meryl?"
Meryl's cheeks flushed as a sudden remembrance of her father's automatic
rifle came to mind... the butt had been rubber-padded, the ammo clip
full, and after feeling it shake in her hands, she'd gotten the idea to-
"Y'know, Milly, let's talk about something else."
"Aww, phooey. Fine."

Dragonboy:  In the interest of good reasoning, I won't make the joke.

Stiel:  I, however, have no such inhibitions, and would like to say two 
words:  Dangerous Discharge.

Waa-waa-waa-waaaa~aaaaa.

Stiel:  Give the poor guy a break.  At least he didn't SUCCEED in killing 
Vash or wiping out humanity.  What would be the punishment if he HAD?

There'd be fangirls watching.

There's a lot of kink going on here, too. If one were to be an observer
(and not die of the nosebleed), one would assume that they do not make
love, they fuck.

Dragonboy:  Change , to :

Stiel:  (to D-boy)  You're worried about grammar at a time like this?

*snickers* I'm guessing you're the sort to look at a naked picture of 
Mai Shiranui and say "her toes look kinda weird". n.-

- Switched Sets -

Vash clicked on the light, and stared into Yuffie's face.
"... You're not Meryl."
"And you're not Squall."
They stared at each other for a moment, then both grimaced.
"The studio switched set assignments again!"
"God dammit, I never get memos!"

Stiel:  I don't know if it was intentional or not, but Yuffie and Squall are 
in two different FFs.

Dragonboy:  Still funny, though.

Ah, but they -are- in Kingdom Hearts together, where it's implied Yuffie 
has a crush.
Yuffie and Squall (or as he likes to be called in KH, Leon) are one of 
the lesser pairings I fan. This was essentially just a chance for some 
crossover.

- Worthy Foes -

And yet, he knew that the man he faced now could be his death, more than
any other. Was more dangerous, more wicked. There he stood, across the
room, illuminated by nothing but a pair of candles, the light glinting

>from his shaven head. Broad hands rose, hovered over the candle flames.

"You're not afraid of the dark, are you?"

Dragonboy:  I have to admit I didn't catch this until I read the next one.

Yeah, it was basically a play on a scene that was in every single 
preview for "Chronicles of Riddick". I tend to forget that some people 
just don't -watch- a lot of TV, especially if they're really heavy into 
fandoms and spend most of their time on that.
(Dunno about you, there talking more of some of the people in 100 
Bullets, who were obviously hardcore fandom-addicts.)

- Elbow Room [Hellsing] -

Dragonboy:  Never seen Hellsing, but but nice job with it anyway.


Final Thoughts
Dragonboy:  Nicely done.  Loved 'Knives in Hell', 'A Sexy Song' and 'Laundry 
Day'.  Even the few that I didn't catch onto right away were well written, 
and the simple fact that it was Trigun (sans the last one) was a nice 
change, as well.  Great job.

Stiel:  My first Trigun fic/s was/were excellent.  Good humor, twists, and 
gratutitous sex (or suggested sex, anyway).  Even the few 
grammar/punctuation bits that we pointed out can be easily overlooked (some 
might not even be right on our part.  If so, our bad).  Overall, nice work 
and try to get some more out if you're able.

Thanks. My participation in 100 Bullets lapsed after awhile, which was 
in a way kind of sad and kind of heartening. I'd gotten used to cranking 
those suckers out, and was focusing a bit much on them. I write other 
things now, just don't FINISH things very often, sadly.

Still, there's a couple of fics laying around that just need a bit more 
bashing-on, before they might be ready to post here. I can at least TRY 
to get active on the FFML again.

-Rann

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