Stiel:  So this is _that_ Krista-once-Perry-now-Fisk?

Dragonboy:  Yepper. ^_^

Stiel:  Sweet.


Dragon-Stiel Inc. Presents:  A C&C/MST review for-


Incarnation
A Gundam Wing one-shot
by Krista Fisk

~*~


     Duo dressed in red for the mission. Everything he wore was
dark, deep red, from his velvet vest and tailed coat, to his trim
slacks, to his silk shirt with the fall of lace at his throat and
cuffs, right down to the ribbon that tied off the end of his
braid.

Heero:  I told you to take the suit to the cleaners.  You're never gonna get 
that ketchup stain out now.

     "Edgar who?" I asked.

     He laughed. "I *knew* you hacked your American Lit grade.
Edgar Allen Poe wrote The Purloined Letter... among other things.
Look it up, genius."

     So I did.

Stiel:  Heh, guess he showed you, Duo. ;)

     I watched Duo, as he watched the king.

Dragonboy:  I don't think you need that comma.

     Duo moved ever closer to the king... and then in one
spinning rush, he passed the king and the fairy consort, and was
lost in the crowd once again.

     For several long moments, the king kept dancing. And then he
staggered. Came to a stop. Looked down at himself, and only then

Dragonboy:  I think I see the effect that you were going for with that, but 
the way it's written just makes it seem too choppy.  Maybe it's just me...

     The building rocked with the explosion, and the ballroom
plunged into darkness, and utter chaos.

Stiel:  That might be another unnecessary comma after 'darkness', but I 
wouldn't take my word for it.

     "Mission accomplished," I said.

     He nodded once. "Yeah," he said. His voice was hoarse, and
for a fleeting moment, I wondered if he had been screaming.

     But then he grinned that lopsided grin that never quite
reached the spark in his eyes. "'And Darkness and Decay and the
Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.'"

Final Thoughts

Dragonboy:  Nice.  Very, very well done.  It seems a shame that there wasn't 
more to comment on, but honestly, there just wasn't anything else that 
looked like it needed changing.  Very vivid and descriptive.  Loved the Poe 
theme as well.

Stiel:  Thankfully you chose a Gundam Wing story, seeing as that and G 
Gundam were the only two we ever watched with any interest.  Like D-boy 
said, the word-play made for a very descriptive story, and the story itself 
was great (Duo is the man, ya know? ^_^)  Great work and, if it's not asking 
too much, write more, 'kay?

--
Dragon-Stiel Inc.
Ten years behind the times, but writing just to spite you!

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