Hello, all. People have been saying non-Ranma stuff should be posted, so 
I thought I'd whip out... ahem... post a collection of drabbles I'd 
written for a LJ community called 100 Bullets. It's a Trigun community 
focused on very short fics, usually one hundred words or less. Most of 
mine were spot-on, and edited to be so, as that was part of the challenge.

Thought I'd dig some of them up and post them in a little collection, 
just to generate some traffic that's NOT part of the big discussion. 
(Though I wish DB weren't banned, one of the few C&Cs I could count on 
was his.)

As to why some seem so odd... well, some are the results of challenges, 
and some are just the result of the fact that 100 Bullets likes to buck 
pairing trends.




- Motivation -

Knives really has nothing against humanity, per se. Sure, a lot of them 
are assholes, but then, there's the old adage that ninety percent of 
everything is shit. They'd have been tolerable.
But there's one thing Knives can't stand. One thing that has to be done, 
one way or another. Seeming to hate humanity, to want to destroy it, 
hell, even going ahead and destroying it. Because some things you just 
can't DO directly, it's not as simple and easy as pulling a trigger or 
plunging a blade.
Because Knives can't stand to be copied. Because he must be unique.



- Bounty Claimed -

The sound of a gun�s hammer being pulled back is what cinches it. He 
always knew someone would consider the bounty too tempting. That they 
would just have to take the risk, haul him in. That it might even be 
someone he knew. Vash just knew that someday that sixty billion double 
dollars would erode somebody�s common sense and willpower to that point. 
So he looks up at her. Up at her smiling face, those sweet blue eyes, 
that short blonde hair.
�Sorry, dad. Life�s expensive, and being poor�s a real pain.�
He knew, but this sucks pretty hard anyway.



- Changes [1] -

"It's creepy," Meryl muttered darkly.
"Lots of Earth species do it," Vash replied, rocking his chair back and 
forth a little. All the same, he sounded a bit unsure of himself.
"'Lots'?"
"Well. Some. Frogs. Things like that."
"Creepy."
"We're the only two Plants for hundreds of miles. It was bound to 
happen," Vash whined, eyes pleading for understanding.
Just then, Knives wandered past the porch, her blouse stretched taut 
over her new, rather large breasts, her long skirt flaring just slightly 
around her as she did a twirl.
"Does this make my ass look big?"
"... Creepy," Meryl muttered darkly.

- Wolfwood's Return [2] -

"Wolfwood?!" Vash yelped, jaw agape.
"You're... alive!" Meryl added, in a squeak.
"Um... yeah, guess so." Wolfwood patted himself down a little, glancing 
back and forth. "Not sure exactly how I got here, but... here I am."
Before Vash or Meryl could answer, Milly came around the corner of the 
house. Smiling, she called, without so much as a flicker of surprise, 
"Hi, Mister Priest!" And, without breaking stride, she swept a very 
shocked-looking Wolfwood up, put him over one shoulder, and carried him 
up the porch steps and into the house.
"... Poor guy," Vash said solemnly, shaking his head.

- Legato, Too [3] -

"Legato," Vash growled. "You're back too?!"
"... So it would seem," Legato replied evenly, despite looking a bit 
confused. He looked at himself, then up at Vash on the porch. "But as to 
why, I..."
Before Vash could answer, Knives swept up in a swirl of skirts and 
perfume, clinging to Legato's arm. "Leggy!"
"Master?!" Legato blurted, looking distinctly shocked. "... 'Leggy'?"
"I'm so happy to see you! I've been so bored since, well, a week after 
this happened. I learned a word called 'paizuri', let's try it."
"I, I, I-!"
Vash watched Knives drag Legato into the house. "... Heaven, or Hell...?"

- The Reason [4] -

Vash and Meryl sat on the porch, trying very hard to ignore the sounds 
of a very happy Milly, Wolfwood, Knives, and a very confused but rather 
pleased Legato from within.
"Was it to curse us?" Meryl mused.
Vash started to answer, but was interrupted by a sparkle in front of 
them. "Dammit, I can't finish a thought nowadays!"
"Hi!" The woman clad in a frilly yellow dress waved at them. "It's not a 
curse! I brought them back!"
"You?! Who are you?!"
"I'm the lemon fairy!" She waved her wand.
Suddenly, Vash and Meryl didn't care about 'why' anymore.



- The One-Eyed Woman is... -

"Mmm, yeah." Dominique settled back in her chair, barely visible in the 
light being cast from the tip of her glowing cigarette. "Take it slow, 
Wolfwood. Do her nice, and slow."
Then, the door swung open, casting light into the darkened room. He 
blinked at Dominique. "What are you still doing here?"
Dominique blinked, turning her head to look at Wolfwood. "What? What are 
you... how?"
"The girl and I were waiting for you to meet us in the bar, but she got 
sleepy and left."
Dominique sighed. "Dammit, eye infections suck when you only have one 
good eye anyway."


- First Times -

Meryl sighed a little as she looked at Milly. Her large friend was drunk 
again, and in the mood to share.
"My first time," Milly hiccupped. "Was... with my big brother's... best 
friend..."
"Hope your brother wasn't there too."
Milly simply giggled, and took another swig from her glass. "How about 
you, Meryl?"
Meryl's cheeks flushed as a sudden remembrance of her father's automatic 
rifle came to mind... the butt had been rubber-padded, the ammo clip 
full, and after feeling it shake in her hands, she'd gotten the idea to-
"Y'know, Milly, let's talk about something else."
"Aww, phooey. Fine."


- Mother -

They could never know just how the two young Plants had come to be on 
the ship. Why she had fought so hard for them. Even Vash could never 
know just why she turned a blind eye to the way Knives was obviously 
disturbed. A human mother couldn't kill a child for being disturbed... 
neither could she. She hoped someday all of them... the crew, their 
descendants, and perhaps most heartbreakingly, Vash himself, could 
forgive her for leaving them the legacy that was Knives.
Sighing, Rem turned back to the mirror, carefully applying the hair dye 
to her blonde roots.


- A Sexy Song -

The bar patrons stared, enraptured. Firstly, by the fact that one man 
was capable of playing a low, smooth blues song on solo saxophone that 
really should have taken a full band.
Second, by the exotic woman dancing. She had a patch over one eye. Her 
body undulated with uncanny fluidity. She was also yanking her blouse 
open and sliding it off her shoulders, doing a twirl and tossing it 
aside, leaving her clad in frilly purple bra and panties, boots, and 
cowboy hat.
"Midvalley! When I figure out how you're doing this!"
"Later, sweety, you're fifty notes from nudity."


- Sinful -

Vash stared longingly over at where Meryl was sitting with legs folded, 
Wolfwood�s miniature confessional shoved on her head, the priest 
kneeling in front of her. Milly blinked at Vash, then inquired, �What�s 
wrong?�
�Well, Meryl has a sin to confess! I wish I had a sin to confess!�
�Oh. That seems to be an awful silly thing to be jealous of, Mr. Vash.�
�� No.�
�� No?�
�No, you�re supposed to go �Don�t you see, Vash? You DO have a sin to 
confess. The sin of envy.� Then the little sheep laugh.�
�� Is this that �Simpsons� thing you mentioned before?�
�Um.�


- Prophetic -

Legato gazed evenly out at the sands, waiting for Vash to arrive. It was 
hard not to let his mind wander, wander to the past he would be saying 
goodbye to as he gave his life for his master. The other path not taken. 
He could have been famous at what he did. The best that this pathetic 
dustball had ever seen. They would have screamed for him, instead of at 
his approach. He could still hear the words of his mentor...
"Honestly, Legato, you throw that damn baseball so hard, one of these 
days your arm's gonna fall off!"


- Knives in Hell -

He had caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands. In fact, he had 
attempted to commit a certain amount of genocide. He had twisted and 
destroyed lives, played with emotions, and in all had been the most 
horrible person, man, and the absolute worst brother one could imagine.
Still, as he continued to pound his feet on the flashing dance pad, 
listlessly watch the arrows slide up the screen, and the music repeat 
itself endlessly (he guessed he was on roughly the two thousandth repeat 
of the chirpy techno song)...
... He had to wonder what he'd done to deserve this.


- Love's End -

"I used to adore you. There was nothing that could take your place, 
nothing that could make me feel the way you do.
"But we had one night too many together. I guess that's what it is, 
that's the only way to say it. All that night it was just us, again and 
again. I'd just had too much of you inside me, that's the only way I can 
say it. I couldn't look at you anymore, you just made me sick.
"It's over. I don't love you anymore."
Sighing heavily, Milly sadly threw the pudding cup in the trash.


- Matched Pair -

Like day and night.
Like life and death.
Like clouds and sky.
Like peanut butter and jelly.
Like pudding and a spoon. (And hadn't that been fun?)
Like summer and winter.
Like a vibrator and batteries. (Also fun.)
Like thirst and water.
Like a porch and rocking chair.
Like Vash and that coat.
Like Wolfwood and a cigarette.
Like Knives and insanity.
Like a fangirl and, well, insanity.
One following the other, contrasting, complimenting, not working without 
each other, not quite seeming complete if the other isn't there.
A simple and deep kind of love.
That was Meryl and Milly.


- Sex, Lies, and Literalists -

	"I'm not sleeping with Wolfwood," Meryl murmured, one hand tucked 
behind her back, her cape hiding her crossed fingers.
	"And I'm not sleeping with Meryl," Wolfwood added, patting out a small 
cigarette-burn fire on his pants.
	"And Milly and I aren't sleeping together," Vash panted.
	Both Wolfwood and Meryl blinked and looked over. Milly was on her back 
on the table, her long skirt pushed up her panties dangling from one 
booted ankle, feet swaying up and down in the air as Vash pounded into 
her, both of their faces gleaming with sweat.
	"Does this look like sleeping?" Milly cooed.


- Strange Love -

They're very strange about it.
She pretends to be fixated only on her job. And she faked her own death, 
rather elaborately at that. They sneak around like they're ashamed of 
each other. They rarely exchange kind words, there's not much in the way 
of candlelit dinners or presents exchanged on special days.
There's a lot of kink going on here, too. If one were to be an observer 
(and not die of the nosebleed), one would assume that they do not make 
love, they fuck. They fuck a lot. They fuck hard. The one is a little 
mini-dominatrix and surprisingly wicked with a lash. The other can 
freeze her diminutive lover in place and play with her for hours before 
letting her move and experience a dozen orgasms all on top of one 
another. They're rough, they're crude, sometimes they're even insulting.
But love is just a word. And it's what Dominique and Meryl have.


- Switched Sets -

Vash smiled into the dark as he felt the trim little body slide into bed 
with him. He ran his hands up her back, and heard her sigh. He slipped 
his hands through the soft, short hair, and started to untie her headband.
... Wait, headband?
She, too, had stopped, upon finding the grating on his chest rather than 
simply scars.
Vash clicked on the light, and stared into Yuffie's face.
"... You're not Meryl."
"And you're not Squall."
They stared at each other for a moment, then both grimaced.
"The studio switched set assignments again!"
"God dammit, I never get memos!"


- Laundry Day -

�Vash!� Meryl stormed into the room. Her normally immaculate white cape 
was a swirl of pinks and reds, like tie-dye. �You threw your coat in 
with my whites and Milly�s! Look at this!� Meryl flipped her cape back. 
�I look like I�m about to join a sandweed-smoker commune!� She blinked 
as Vash got a big goofy look on his face, then growled, �Stop picturing 
me in a free love orgy!�
�Er, sorry. ... Wait, Milly�s whites? Milly doesn�t wear white.�
�Mr. Vash!� Milly walked in, wearing tie-dyed bra and panties. �Look 
what you did!�
Vash clapped a hand over his nose.


- Revenge -
(This is actually a sequel to another piece that's since lost, where 
Vash finally finds a villain worth breaking his vow over, and goes on a 
rampage over one indignity too many.)

	Vash glowered in distaste at the room around him. It was plastered with 
wallscrolls from X/1999, and Anne Rice novels littered the floor. He 
kicked aside a hardcopy printout of a story involving a vampiric Severus 
Snape having sex with a kittenish Draco Malfoy with one bloodstained 
boot. Now where was...? There. A shuddering sound from beneath the 
computer desk.
	He stalked over, grabbing the edge the desk and upturning it, sending 
the pink iMac named "Shinigami" tumbling. Smiling in vengeful glee at 
the cowering teenage girl he'd revealed, he brought his revolver up.
	"How's this for some hardcore penetration?"


- Worthy Foes -

Vash the Stampede had faced many, many deadly men. Men who could rend 
air and earth with sound, men who could twist the bodies of others into 
his unwilling tools of death. Vash had fought countless strange and 
powerful men.
And yet, he knew that the man he faced now could be his death, more than 
any other. Was more dangerous, more wicked. There he stood, across the 
room, illuminated by nothing but a pair of candles, the light glinting 
from his shaven head. Broad hands rose, hovered over the candle flames.
"You're not afraid of the dark, are you?"


- Aftermath -

Vash panted heavily, tasting blood every time he exhaled. The ammo in 
his arm was exhausted. His coat and shirt were shredded. The metal 
grating on his chest had been ripped off and shoved in his shoulder. 
Perhaps worst of all, his glasses were bent at a ninety degree angle, 
ruined.
Riddick was sitting across from him, slumped against a wall the same 
way. One side of his goggles was busted. One of his hands was obviously 
broken. One of his teeth was obviously gone, the hole bleeding. A chunk 
of one ear was missing, and oozing.
"... Truce?"
"... Yeah, whatever."


- Elbow Room [Hellsing] -


	"Okay, just... scoot over, a little."
	"I CAN'T scoot over any more! I'm over as far as I can go!"
	"Oof... that is my STOMACH, Integra."
	"And you take up the most room, so don't complain."
	"Heh."
	"Just let me... scoot around a little bit here... ... Alucard..."
	"That's the shampoo bottle."
	"Oh, right."
	"Eep! Yipe! Oof!"
	"... Police Girl..."
	"Sorry Master. ... Why were you wearing your sunglasses in here, anyway?"
	"Because I failed to take into account swinging breasts."
	"Eheh, heh."
	"Both of you, shut up, let's get this sorted out..."
	"Yes, yes."
	"Yes, Sir Integra."
	"Now, let's... let's... Alucard, stop turning the water black with red 
eyes."
	"Heh. If you order it."
	"Let's just... scoot around a little... this side... and... Alucard, 
phase your left leg out of the way for a second so I can move mine."
	"OW!"
	"Er, sorry, Seras."
	"That HURT, Sir Integra!"
	"Don't sniffle."
	"S-sorry..."
	"Look, your breasts are taking up more space than anything, lean outwards."
	"Okay, I'll just... WAUG!"
	"Watch it, watch it!"
	"OW! That -wasn't- the shampoo bottle!"
	"Thought you liked pain."
	"There's pain and there's pain, Integra."
	"Seras, you can squirm back a little and..."
	"... No, I really can't, not without a little more preparation than I 
have right now..."
	"Heheheheh."
	"Do stop smirking, Alucard. Seras, stay as you are."
	"Thank you, Sir Integra."
	"Awww."
	Sighing, Integra finally turned and flopped her arms over the side of 
the tub. "Taking a bath together just sounds sexier than it is, I'm afraid."

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