My original attempt at posting this apparently failed miserably, as it never
bounced back to me (and I could swear the FFML had stopped losing things),
so I'm trying again.
Sorry if you saw this twice.
--------------------------------------
It was perhaps the strangest thing any of the Leaf jounin present could
remember ever seeing.
And given recent history, that was saying a lot.
"Get back here!" the boy with spiky brown hair and deep blue eyes cried. "I
need to lock the Keyhole!"
"My ass you do!" the black-haired boy running from him called over his
shoulder.
"EXACTLY! THAT'S WHERE IT IS!"
"Oi oi," groused the leader of the pack of blonde, whisker-faced,
orange-clad ninja running just behind the brown-haired boy, "Sasuke-bastard
already has enough sticks crammed up his ass without you putting THAT in
there, too!"
THAT, as it was, was a giant key with a heart-shaped handguard around the
swordlike hilt, with a charm dangling from a silver chain at the back which
reminded many present of the hairstyle of one of the onlookers.
Said onlooker tapped the pink-haired girl standing beside her on the
shoulder. "Ano, Sakura...that weird kid with the big goofy shoes wants to
stick that big key up your teammate's...um..." She flushed.
"...." Sakura replied.
"Shouldn't you be, I dunno, helping stop him?"
"...don't bother me right now, please. My mind is in a very weird place."
"Kakashi, shouldn't you be helping your student?"
"Well, if that kid's right, the only way to stop those weird black shadow
things--" here, Hatake Kakashi paused to throw a kunai which speared two
shadow creatures through the heart-shaped, crossed-out marks on their
chests-- "from popping up all over the place annoying the hell out of
everybody, is to stick that key thingie up Sasuke's butt."
"Then shouldn't you be helping get this over with? I mean, you're Konoha's
master of sticking things up people's butts..."
"Why, Kurenai-chan, are you coming on to me?"
"PERVERT!"
"Why did I agree to take this job again, Shizune?"
"Because you were getting bored, Tsunade-sama?"
"..."
"Please, come back to your office and sign these papers..."
"Aw, you're no fun."
"My idea of fun isn't watching a thirteen-year-old boy having a giant key
shoved up his rear end."
"Then I haven't trained you nearly well enough."
"...."
After a half hour of a very circular chase, the blonde ninja grumbled in
irritation. "Here, give me that!" he cried, snatching the Keyblade from
Sora. "Oi, Sasuke!"
"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!"
Sasuke turned around. "Got him, NarutWHATTHEHELLAREYOUDOINGDOBE?!"
Seven of Naruto's kagebunshin dogpiled Sasuke, holding him down and ripping
his white shorts off. The real Naruto grinned, smiled cheekily to all the
observers, and...
"Ouch!"
"Oh my."
"NARUTO! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO *THAT* FAR!"
"I can't believe it went IN that far."
"Um...that's not exactly how it's supposed to work..."
"Gorsch."
"I. AM. GOING. TO. *KILL YOU!!!!* Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. I need some help here."
"Well, I'm glad that's over. Now we can get some WORK done around here."
"...not now, Shizune. My mind is in a very happy place."
"...and you call Jiraiya-sama a pervert?"
An hour later...
"Thanks for your help, Naruto," Sora said as he continued to vigorously
polish the Keyblade with a rough, wet cloth.
Naruto folded his arms behind his head. "Hey, no problem. Glad I could help
out."
"....yyyyeah. Well, we'll be going now. There's lots more Keyholes to lock
if we want to stop the Heartless for good."
"Good luck!"
~elsewhere~
"Ano...Bobobo? I know you're the master of the Fist of the Nose Hair and
all, but...don't you think you should see a doctor about this cold? I mean,
those things coming out of your nose don't look especially healthy..."
~to be continued?~
(Naruto (c) Kishimoto Masashi, TV Tokyo, Shueisha, Viz, yada yada. Kingdom
Hearts (c) SquareEnix, Disney. Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (c) who gives a shit.)
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