Michael Hopcroft wrote:
The headmaster greeted Nyamo and Yukari as they entered the building.
“Yukari, I thought I'd let you know about the new art teacher. I thought
you in particular would like to know about her.”
Better not to repeat the word "know" in the same paragraph if you can
avoid it. Something like, "Yukari, we have a new art teacher. I
thought you in particular..."
Yukari shrugged her shoulders. “If she's a woman, you've just told me all
I needed to know.”
“We were lucky to get her. She's just graduated and gotten her license,
and she's one of your former students.”
“MY students?”
“Yes. From your graduating class of four years ago. Ayumu Kasuga.”
“I don't remember any Ayumu Kasuga in my class. There must be a mistake.”
Nyamo placed her chin her her hand thoughtfully. “Kasuga. The name rings a
bell.”
“You must be thinking of Kagura, that swimmer.” Yukari said, trying to be
helpful. “I must admit that was a coup, getting her into my class.”
“Is she already here?” Nyamo asked. “I'd like to see her again.”
“Of course, she's right over here.” The headmaster motioned into the
distance. “Kasuga-kun! You remember Yukari-sensei and Kurosawa-sensei,
don't you?”
A voice with a slight hint of kansai and and wisp of distance could heard.
and a what?
No other problems that I see, although it might be funnier for someone
who had seen the source material.
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