Quoting DB Sommer <sommert@connecttime.net>:

So... I may modify a few of the choppy bits in future chapters
such that it's the translation from his unique brand of Cockney into
dictionary-perfect English.

% Yeah, you don't want to make a reader work too hard. Otherwise they
stop reading.

Exactly.  Little things we learn with these experiments.  Can't always 
count on
readers (many of whom picked up English as a second or third language) to take
half an hour per paragraph to sort through the accent marks and 
truncated words
to make sense of them.

	Terra took a deep breath.  She had been waiting for this.  It was 
time to pick
a new secret superheroine name she could be proud of, one much 
better than the
one she'd been given.  "I am... the Eternal Warrior,

% A highly amoral immortal who goes around finding combat wherever it is
because he enjoys killing so much?

Well, yes, but that's not what I was referring to in this instance. :)

	"Nope!  Don't listen to 'er," Arby interrupted, fluttering in front 
of her. "She's really just th' Li'l Anklebiter, Sailor Chibi-moon."

% Better than being known as 'The Little Rugmuncher' :)

I'm tempted to replace Anklebiter with Rugmuncher in this instance. ^^

	"Sendin' a distress signal," Arby explained.

	"Causing me pain and making me cry?!"

% Heh. A unique way of doing it, to be sure.

A lot of magical girl Sailor-whatsit powers seem to be willpower and
emotionally-based.  How do you get their powers to send a distress signal?
Why, put them in serious distress!

	Sailor Chibimoon took it and flipped through it.  "Hey, it says 
here I pull out
my wand and say, 'Pink Sugar Heart Attack.'"

% Terra: Giving people heart attacks sounds too brutal.

% Arby: Better than the "Heartburster Mix' which detonates a heart while
it's still in a person's chest.

Okay, now that's too good to pass up.

	Sailor Chibimoon took it and flipped through it.  "Hey, it says here I 
pull out
my wand and say, 'Pink Sugar Heart Attack.'"

	"In-deed!"

	"Um, giving people heart attacks sounds too brutal."

	"Betta' than the 'Heartburster Mix,' which detonates peoples' 'earts while
they'z still ya chest."

	"Ah, yes, I can see how that would be an improvement."  Terra pased.  "But
Arby, wait, you didn't give me a wand!"

	"Is yew loicensed for one?"

	"I... don't think so."

	Terra staggered from the blow.  The other girl fell onto her back.  
Both held
their heads and cried in unison, "WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

	"Oh, yew's good at that," Arby commented, and fluttered off.

% Heh. And they are.

Head-bashing.  Can't beat the head bashing.  Oh wait, yes you can, and that's
the point.

	"Don't I know you from somewhere?"  Chibimoon focused in more 
intensely.  Then,
her eyes broke the disguise code and saw right through it.  To her, it was
surprising who Sailor Moon ended up being.  "Usagi?!"

% Wah! The tips in Usagi's 'Clark Kent's Handbook on Impenetrable
Disguises' didn't work.

She forgot to wear glasses!  That ALWAYS fools 'em!  Darn it, she 
shouldn't have
ditched the old Sailor V-like design!  That one had glasses.

	"Sailor Scouts?  Is that what we're called?"  Eeww, thought Terra.  
That was
such a dorky organizational name.  The Counsel of Justice she could take, or
even the Defenders of Peace and Love,

% How about 'Senshi Lantern Corps' and all of them get cool rings that
can make a green version of anything their minds can envision?

Ooh, there's even room to toss that one in.

	"Sailor Scouts?  Is that what we're called?"  Eeww, thought Terra.  That was
such a dorky organizational name.  The Counsel of Justice she could take, the
Senshi Lantern Corps for sure, or even the Defenders of Peace and Love, but
Sailor Scouts?  She knew a boy once that was a member of the Boy Scouts of
Ireland, but all he could do was try to impress her with all the amazing knots
he could tie.  They were nice knots and all, but hardly the stuff true heroism
was made of.  "How about we go by something more dramatic, like... 
Ultra Knight
Sabers?"

	"Maybe we should stir up the ol' hornet's nest some more to make 
sure we can
fight alongside her more often."

% Heh. Cute, risking her life because life and death situations can be
useful to her.

He knows she can take it.  And he doesn't care about collateral damage. :)

Definitely still amusing.

Thanks!  I wasn't quite sure what to make of the story when I wrote it, but if
it's even mildly amusing, that's great! :)

--
Benjamin A Oliver
boliver@email.arizona.edu

Second-Year Management Information Systems Graduate Student
Eller College of Management
University of Arizona

Writings: Fan Fiction
http://boliver.florestica.com/

Webcomic: Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!! The Early Years
http://nettg.com


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