Without reason, logic, sanity, or shame, I present to you...the next
episode. They should follow one per week until 13, at which point I will
work on a different story for a bit before coming back for this one. In
the future, I will do this sucker one season at a time, so there's no
huge gaps between chapters that occur one freakin' day apart!
We can all hope, can't we?
NARRATOR: IN THE LAST EPISODE, THE AUTHOR TRIED TO GROSS US OUT. A
SHOWING OF VERY NASTY MURDER SCENES, ARMIES OF UNDEAD, AND DANGEROUS
VAMPIRES RULED THE DAY. WILL THIS EPISODE BE MORE OF THE 'USUAL?'
========================================================================
Warnings: Plot, interesting things happening
Graphic violence, use of firearms, death and dismemberment
Extreme sexual innuendo, some graphic sex
Implied sex between mystical beings/monster/demons and humans
Casual use of explicit language
Present-tense descriptions
========================================================================
C&C, Flames, Anything, welcome at: rick_spiff@yahoo.com
Posted at Insanity Production's home page:
http://www.geocities.com/rick_spiff/
~ Begin fic ~
[Opening Music is Metallica's 'Enter Sandman' played very loudly. A
montage of shots flash by to the bars of the song, mostly of the
Sidestep cast and various Eva characters dressed in kick-ass clothes
and shooting things out of frame. Splattered here and there among the
characters are various explosions for variety.]
[Music cuts out.]
Episode 9: Only a Fool.../
What Are You Waiting For?
[EXT. PARIS-2 STREETS - LATE MORNING.]
[A small blue Peugeot that looks like it's held together by prayer and
rust comes to a smooth stop before a new hotel building. James exits the
driver side door looking proud as a new father. He is dressed in a fresh
new coat and looks like he finally got a good night's sleep. He breezes
into the hotel entrance. A minute later, he comes out with Kat in tow
and gestures grandly to the car. Kat is dressed in her tan trench coat
again, also clean and refreshed.]
Kat: (looking closely) An old car?
James: Yep! Got it for a song!
Kat: If you need targets, we can have some cardboard ones shipped
here...
James: (offended) I need _transportation_ to Germany, woman!
Kat: (skeptical) I'd be amazed if you could drive it around the block
without something falling off.
James: What? This thing's solid as a rock.
[By way of demonstration, James gives the bumper a friendly tap with his
boot. Offended, the bit of car drops to the street.]
James: Damn it!
Kat: I'm going to get back to my brunch. You want some coffee?
James: Let me get the blue duct tape and I'll join you in a minute.
[INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT - LATE MORNING.]
[The dining area is nearly deserted. Kat sits at one of the many free
tables, sipping some coffee and devouring a croissant. Three local
newspaper are laying in front of her, with her FADI laying on top of
one. James walks up to the table, looking at his own FADI unit and
tucking a roll of blue duct tape into a pocket.]
James: (to himself) Message from Ed...something I've got to see. Gee,
that's descriptive! Delete! Memo from Dave...ouch, I'll read that one
later. (pleading tone) Maybe it's not important. (puts away his
computer; to Kat) How are things going?
Kat: The coffee hasn't killed me yet and the news doesn't sound half as
cataclysmic as I thought it would. William left a message with the hotel
saying he was indisposed and wouldn't be here for at least two weeks.
James: (removing one of the papers from the mess on the table) Did he
say where he was?
[Kat shakes her head and helps James free the newspaper.]
James: Have you heard from John lately?
Kat: Sherridan said that he was still in China, cleaning up that mess of
a base.
James: Lazy bastard. He'll milk that for all he's worth.
Kat: Do you really plan to go to Germany?
James: Yes. Miko and... (looks around conspiratorially) I can't tell you
the details right now.
[Kat shrugs and polishes of her croissant. Marcus Domino, from the
airport yesterday, comes up to the table in a light gray suit.]
Marcus: Mr. Rahn, Mrs. Jones. I trust your rooms have been
accommodating?
James: We've slept on rocks before, so any endorsement is likely to be
taken as a veiled insult.
Marcus: Acceptable, then?
Kat: They were fine, thank you.
Marcus: Is there anything I can do for you today?
James: Step one foot to the right.
[Marcus checks for a trap door, then does as requested. James, happy now
that his light isn't being blocked by the man, sighs contentedly and
begins reading the funnies. Kat rolls her eyes and invites Marcus to sit
with them.]
Marcus: Sorry, no. I've got to be in the countryside by eleven. I just
wanted to make sure you two had everything you needed.
Kat: (glances at James) I'll join you, since I have nothing better to do
here.
James: (without looking up) I'll be leaving for Germany within the hour.
Kat needs to know everyone, everywhere, and everywhen. You should have
an official request within the hour.
Marcus: She needs to be shown the ropes?
[James puts down the newspaper.]
James: She needs to get to know the area, yes.
Marcus: Excellent. We leave in ten minutes.
James: Good. A word of caution: She doesn't bite, but she packs a mean
right hook.
[James stands, and so does Kat, delivering a stunning right hook to his
face.]
Kat: Jerk!
James: (rubbing the impact site) Told ya. (prancing away) Ta-ta!
Marcus: ...Quite a character you have there.
Kat: (seething, but gets a hold of herself quickly) You have NO idea.
(sighs) Let me grab my key and we can get going.
Marcus: Are you done eating?
Kat: Thoroughly.
Marcus: I'll wait here.
[EXT. FORMER FACHHOCHSCHULE HEILBRONN HOSCHSHULE UNIVERSITY - DAY.]
[Jack Carlson and Miko Mido, both dressed in shorts and light T-shirts
befitting Heilbronn's pleasant summer weather, stand at the top of a
grassy hill by a newly constructed scenic viewpoint. The drop-off is
steep, but the vista breath-taking. Opposite the road which connects to
the viewpoint, another hill covered in massive bushes and small trees
rises into the air. A large plaque some ways down the road describes the
plant-overrun ruins as all that remains of the original campus of the
Fachhochschule Helbronn Hoschshule University. Jack has a camera out,
solemnly taking pictures. Miko just takes in the sight, covertly
checking the road leading to the viewpoint while standing in front of
the red convertible the couple arrived in.]
[Several visitors have parked in various spots around the scenic area,
but a familiar blue car that looks like a junkyard reject dodgy blue car
we've seen before is parked not a three spaces from the convertible.]
[A thousand meters away, across the valley, two men are laying prone
under some huge bushes. One is sighting down a massive rifle through an
immense scope, the other watching the scenic area through a spotting
scope. Both are dressed in camouflage clothing complete with
face-paint.]
Man on scope: (into radio headset) Code the man in the blue shirt with
the camera target one. Code the woman near the red car target two. Code
the bearded guy by the Peugeot target three.
[The bearded man, James Rahn, wears a Hawaiian T-shirt sized to fit a
light house, and Bermuda shorts that are just short of painful to look
at. A set of aviator's shades cover his eyes, and he scratches idly at
the fake bushy beard concealing the lower half of his face.]
[Not looking in Miko's direction, he stretches and retrieves a brown
paper bag from the back of the Peugeot, and commences with eating his
lunch.]
[A silver convertible with two well-groomed young men in it pull into
the parking lot and look around like they have all the time in the
world. They appear to converse quietly for a second, then get out of the
car. The driver leans against the car and lights a cigarette, looking
around. The other looks at James, then at Miko, and decides to talk with
the later.]
[The two men in the bush watch with growing unease.]
Man on scope: (into radio) Code target four, silver convertible. The two
inside look like our marks. Prepare to terminate them.
Voice: (over radio) Copy. We have a lock on the man near the car.
Man on scope: I have the man approaching target two.
[James watches the agents approach, and reaches into his lunch bag as if
fishing for some chips, and getting a solid grip on the grenade inside.
James pretends to stare dumbly at the car while he watches the hill
behind him through a tiny mirror in his sunglasses.]
[Two men in clothes that are two nice to go walking around in a place
like this, with dirt roads and charcoal-encrusted remains of buildings.
One leans against the car, failing to look casual, while the other
approaches Jack and Miko, in no hurry at all. He would be asking for
directions.]
[The man behind the scope taps his comrade twice on the shoulder while
keying his radio.]
Man on scope: (into radio) Remove marks and transportation.
[The man closing in on Jack and Miko opens his mouth only to have it
disappear in a spray of gore. A second later, the report echoes across
the valley while the man near the car is nearly cut apart by a stream of
machine gun fire.]
[Jack and Miko hit the dirt after the first report sweeps across the
parking lot. James pulls out his grenade and tosses it into the bushes
where the machine gun fire came from. His other hand slips in through
the open rear window of the hatch back and comes up with a massive gun
that barely fits through the window, even handled delicately.]
[His find Miko staring at him and the massive gun in surprise.]
James: RUN FOR IT!
[Jack and Miko pause. James rips off the fake beard and glares at them.
They stare for another half-second before jumping into the red car and
peeling out of the parking lot. James calmly drops to one knee and
brings the big gun to his shoulder.]
[The men in the bushes give pause.]
Man on gun: What the _hell_ is he aiming at us?
Man on scope: (into radio) Remove target three--
[The grenade goes off. The men watch in shock as a fireball chews up the
vegetation around their reinforcements. The distant crack of a powerful
explosion reaches their ears a moment after they witness the blast
itself. James calmly opens fire. The impact of whatever he's shooting
shakes the very roots of the hill the men are perched on.]
Man on scope: Fuck! FUCK! Bravo team? Bravo team, respond!
[A second volley rips apart the bushes just a dozen yards away from the
pair.]
Man on rifle: Target obscured by dust. I see the convertible leaving.
Man on scope: Shoot it!
[The massive rifle barks.]
Man on rifle: Shit! I missed.
Man on scope: Bravo? (taps the head of the rifle man) Back to the
Humvee!
[The two jump to their feet and dash down the hill under cover.]
[James fires off a third and forth volley. By now, people are screaming,
the dust keeping him under cover is dissipating, and through the gun's
scope, he can see that the bushes have been vacated. He stays crouched
for a second before cursing and throwing his gun into the back of his
car, which remains miraculously unharmed. Behind him, three large men
dressed in black step up to him.]
James: (over his shoulder) Ah, party for three?
[The trio attack with perfect coordination. James manages to send all
three crashing face-first into his car in a perfectly coordinated
fashion, while he steps clear of any retaliation. The three killers
pause, knife flashing in the sunlight, and charge again. This time their
attacks are staggered. James smirks as the three close in on him, and
just before the first reaches, he explodes into motion. Bones are
snapped, joints are broken. In a matter of seconds, only James is
standing.]
[His eyes shift towards the road connecting the scenic area to the main
highway into Heilbronn. Then he spares a glance at the valley. A few
people begin to approach him slowly. Having no time for them, James
jumps into the tiny blue car and peels out of the lot like all of Hell
is chasing him.]
[A minute later, he fishes out his cell phone and dials while one hand
grips the wheel. The car's tires complain loudly as James pushes the
little machine to its limits.]
John: (from phone) John.
James: (into phone) John?
John: That's what I said.
James: Where the fuck is Trey?
John: What am I? His nanny?
James: Dude, I just called his number and the system bounced me to you
instead of his voice mail.
John: Duh. Dave's having the system switched over today. No voice mail
for an hour or so.
James (to himself) I knew I should have read that memo. (into phone)
Can't wait that long. You need to relay a message for me.
John: Forget the cat food?
James: Hah. Hah. Funny. NOT. I'm just outside of Heilbronn, Germany, and
I need an extraction by dawn tomorrow. Coltrane hired a bunch of mercs
or something and they just took out some Interpol agents. If they get
word back to Coltrane that Jack and Miko were meeting with the cops,
he'll have the both of them killed.
John: The who what now?
James: Just shut up and listen! I'm doing eighty in a Peugeot down a
mountain for chrissakes! I killed the mercs once they opened up on the
Interpol agents. I did my bad-ass assassin impersonation. Now, there's
two left an they will tell Coltrane what happened. I need to eliminate
them, then get the hell out of the country. Tell Dave he needs to tip
off the U.N. and tell them some nutcase is running loose in Germany on a
mission. Make it sound like Coltrane's guys surprised me and Jack and
Miko just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
John: Won't somebody figure out the dead bodies are Interpol agents?
James: Not if Dave gets on this first. It's time for the black magic,
John.
John: Sounds like fun. So, tell Trey to pick you up...
James: I'll call him in exactly four hours and we'll plan.
John: So...have Trey wait for your call, and tell Dave to pick your
mess?
James: That works. I think I see something. Gottagobye!
[The blue car hits the highway interchange at sixty miles an hour,
darting around the mid-morning traffic like a Ferrari dodging traffic
cones. On the other side of the interchange, a futuristic Humvee enters
the flow of traffic in a big hurry.]
[James grins like the cat that caught the canary.]
James: Following our friends, eh?
[Sure enough, the red convertible is not a half-mile down the highway.
James gives the gas pedal a hearty shove, which does...absolutely
nothing.]
James: (stares at the dash in despair) Huh? Oh, c'mon!
[The three-car train blends into the regular traffic, a blue Peugeot
from another millennium struggling to keep up a massive, modernized
Humvee. Inside the small car, James flicks a small metal switch set on
the top of a bulky black box, then pulls a hand gun from the glove box.]
James: That'll jam their wireless, and now...for a little persuasion.
[EXT. HIGHWAY OUTSIDE OF HEILBRONN - DAY.]
[By the time the Gothic spires of the Krillian church become an obvious
landmark, James is sweating. The Humvee has no-air tires, and is
probably armored. His car is little more than a speed bump to the larger
vehicle, leaving him nothing within arm's reach that could stop the
behemoth. Then again, inventive fighting has always been a hallmark of
James' "Nothing Rahn" style of martial arts.]
[James sights a massive luxury car driven by a man yakking on a cell
phone pass the Humvee. He takes aim. Once the car is almost a car length
ahead of the wheeled tank, James shoots out the front left tire. The man
behind the wheel reacts too slowly, and the car jerks to the left,
smashing into the front bumper of the Humvee. Both vehicles quickly come
to a halt, James standing on the brakes to stop well short of the crash.
Cars behind them honk and swerve. James takes aim from the driver's
seat.]
[The Humvee driver, dressed in camouflage and looking very official,
exits the vehicle. The instant his feet touch the ground, James fires.
The gunshot echoes over the busy highway, and James is out of his door a
split-second later, dashing towards the Humvee. The clears the rear end
without slowing down, and a jumps off of the back, landing on the luxury
car's roof. He's already sighting up the passenger, and fires before the
man moves to cover himself.]
[The driver of the luxury car is standing on the pavement in front of
James, frozen in place. Having a gun go off inches behind your head can
spook people like that.]
Driver: (into his cell phone in German) I'm getting held up, I'll have
to call you back.
[The driver slowly raises both hands, the cell phone still in one of
them, the person at the other end trying to reach his indisposed
companion. James looks down at the man.]
James: (German) You saw nothing.
Driver: (looks at his car) But...what about insurance?
James: I'm sure you have some.
[James jumps off the car, uses his sleeve to buff the two footprints
marking his passage (which does nothing to erase the size 12 dents), and
nods to the man.]
James: Thank you, good day.
[James runs back to the Peugeot and drives into the city. The man stares
at the tire marks on the pavement, then at the dead body slumped down in
the passenger seat of the Humvee.]
Voice: (over phone) Hello? Are you there?!
[EXT. HEILBRONN RESTAURANT - DAY.]
[Jack and Miko sit at a table with all the poise and confidence of a
pair of cats in a rocking chair warehouse. The restaurant, an outdoor
affair with dining in the courtyard of an ancient building and more
plush seating inside the brick structure set eighty feet back from the
street, is a mellow place. The outdoor dining area is less than half
full, and traffic on this side street is surprisingly light.]
[They're expecting wailing sirens, flashing lights, and guns pressed in
their faces any minute now. Perhaps assassins will rappel down from
black helicopters and finish off the job. Something is bound to happen.]
[But they have been here for nearly an hour, and no one has even looked
at them funny. Empty iced teas sit before the pair, who both managed to
stop shaking more than thirty minutes ago.]
Miko: You okay?
Jack: Yeah... (looks at his hands) It isn't so bad now.
Miko: I think we're okay.
Jack: Who the hell was that guy? With the fake beard?
Miko: (switches to 'conditioned response mode') A fellow agent. I didn't
know he would be around here.
Jack: ...
Miko: What is it?
Jack: I'm just wondering what Mr. Coltrane is up to. Have you found
anything?
Miko: (shakes her head) Nothing I can make heads or tales out of.
They're confused back at the base too. They said just keep digging. But
now...
[A short waitress with gravity-defying raven tresses and an abundance of
cleavage marches up to the table and deposits new drinks for the pair,
sweeping up the old glasses. Miko glances at the face, and chokes by a
surprised shout when she realizes their new waitress is Arcana.]
Arcana: Sorry about those Interpol officers. I realize Coltrane is going
to be very suspicious right now, so except for me and Miko's real job,
you just need to be honest, okay Jack?
Jack: Who are you?
Arcana: I can't tell ya that, really. I can tell you that I trained
Miko, and that our department has got your back. Seriously, just play
along with Coltrane and help Miko smuggle out the information we need.
As soon as we can nail his ass to the wall, I'm going to march in there
with an army.
[The engineer stares at the young woman, merely a girl in his eyes.]
Jack: An army?
[Arcana gives him a knowing smirk.]
Arcana: An army.
Jack: What about the guy with the beard?
Arcana: A fellow agent. You can call him 'James.' He says hi, by the
way.
Jack: Tell him I said thanks.
Arcana: You're welcome. I'll have the staff bring out two specials. I
have some matters to attend to.
[She gives Miko a wink before marching away from the table.]
Jack: (chuckles) I feel like I'm in a Bond movie.
[Miko sighs, still staring forlornly after Arcana. Jack blinks just as
Miko turns to face him.]
Miko: What?
Jack: ...You have friends in high places.
[Miko smiles sadly, nodding.]
[INT. DAVE'S "GOD OFFICE" - EVENING.]
[Dave is dressed in a Nice Suit, but lounging in his execute-style
chair. A slim laptop sits in his lap, while he looks through some print
outs. James charges into the office without warning.]
Dave: (without looking up or showing a hint of surprise) How'd it go?
James: (throws himself down in Dave's guest chair) I'm alive. That
Victor guy is a hell of a driver.
Dave: Victor?
James: Victor Ramon or something. Driver in Trey's little network.
Fucker knows everybody.
Dave: (sets down the print outs) Nice job on that mountain. By now
Coltrane's drafting up contracts to put you out of commission.
James: Nice to know I'm loved. Did Miko send anything?
Dave: (gestures to the laptop computer) Just in. She thanked you for the
drinks.
James: (shrugs) What can you tell me about Coltrane now?
Dave: He's doing a lot of work under someone else's orders.
James: Name?
Dave: Nothing yet. She can't really dig, not under suspicion like they
are now.
James: (scratching his chin thoughtfully) Yeah...
Dave: I've got a meeting with Ikari in twenty minutes.
James: (gets up; points at the laptop) Let me know what you find in
there.
Dave: Go home, get some sleep. I'll call ya in the morning and let you
know what I found.
[James takes two steps away from the desk, then turns around, walks back
to the desk, and holds out one hand expectantly. Dave pats the top of
the desk, and Muffin jumps up to sniff at his hand.]
Muffin: Meow...
[James scoops up the kitty, which is happy to see him, and all but skips
out of Dave's office.]
[INT. ED'S LAIR OF INVENTION - DAY? NIGHT?]
[Ed, a mountain of a man dressed in a white lab coat, is sitting before
a drafting table, pouring over a set of immensely complicated drawings.
At the far end of the massive 'lair' he has taken over, a large door
slides open, admitting James. The assassin is idly petting Muffin, who
is purring adorably in his arms.]
James: Dude! S'up?!
Ed: (spinning around, huge smile) James! How was Germany?
James: (rises an eyebrow) I kill hundreds of undead and ice a vampire
with a sword in France, and no one knows about it. A little covert
operations work in Germany, and it's on the fuckin' evening news. What
gives?
Ed: Well...how was Paris-2?
James: Lovely. I got your message...
Ed: (eyes glinting with maniacal delight) This way?
[James points at the drafting table, which Ed breezes by without a
word.]
James: Hey, what's...
[But Ed has already disappeared through another door. Shrugging, James
follows, and finds himself in a rather small room. Said room contains
him, Ed, Muffin, some lights, and...]
James: (staring, incredulous) I don't mean to burst your bubble,
Ed...but the copyright on 'Aliens' hasn't expired yet.
Ed: (clueless-as-usual) Aliens? This thing isn't built for fighting
aliens.
James: (points at the familiar mech) You copied the power loader from
the film 'Aliens!'
Ed: (stares at his creation) Well, I didn't intend it to be as useless
as...then again, it is design for moving large sealed crates, ammo and
such...
[Ed at least has the manners to look embarrassed.]
James: (smirks) Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Ed: Yes I am. (coughs into hand 'RIPOFF! RIPOFF!')
James: (huge smile) ...
Ed: Okay, so it's a power loader.
James: It's a power loader.
Ed: ...
James: ...
Ed: ...
James: ...
Ed: ...
James: ...Is it supposed to do something now?
Ed: Well, I'm waiting for you to get in it.
James: ...
Ed: What?
James: No, the correction question was 'why?'
Ed: Well...I just thought...I could do something...nice.
James: (hands Muffin to Ed) Here.
[Ed grins, then begins to pet the little cat methodically. James climbs
into the mech with little fuss. Once he's inside, he stares at the
numerous controls and settings, eying the many levers, buttons...]
Ed: Something wrong?
James: This thing's a disaster.
Ed: (offended) It's an engineering miracle!
James: It is, but you're not an econometrics expert, and I'm guessing
you don't have one on staff yet.
Ed: (lamely) Well, it isn't like OSHA was gonna march through here next
week...
James: I'm talking about the controls on this thing! How the hell am I
supposed to get it to move without toasting you and Muffin?
Ed: I didn't load the weapons yet?
James: Ed, no offense, but this is a fucking disaster waiting to happen.
Ed: That's why I called you here.
James: (dangerous look directed at Ed) Are you implying something?
Ed: No! No! I just...I just hoped you would have some input on how to
improve it.
James: I can fix the controls...I think. (thinks for a second) But you
have to do me a favor.
Ed: ...Okay.
James: I need to get a standard coat whipped up. I'm always finding
myself short on either armor or weapons...I can't remember where half of
my shit is most of the time. We need to standardize our equipment.
Ed: Actually, I've been thinking the same thing.
[James nods in agreement.]
James: Well, let me get out of this thing and we'll slap something
together I can use without slaughtering an entire third-world country
with the wrong muscle twitch.
[Ed stops petting the cat and opens him mouth.]
James: Not a _word_.
[Ed closes his mouth, and continues petting Muffin.]
[INT. OFFICE WITH NO WINDOWS - DAY.]
[A couple of large and dangerous-looking guys lead Miko and Jack into a
small, empty office. The door is left wide open, the dangerous guys are
watching the place like they expect assassins to jump into the room and
kill everyone any second now. Miko doesn't even have time to ask what
they're doing here when Maxim Coltrane appears in the doorway wearing an
immaculate suit and worried expression.]
Maxim: Jack. Miko. Thank God you're all right.
[He dismisses the other men with a single glance.]
Jack: Yeah, we're alive.
Maxim: I apologize for the security. After I heard what happened, I was
wishing I could call in the military to help you. What happened?
[Miko looks at Jack, who doesn't take his eyes off of Coltrane.]
Jack: We were just getting some fresh air in the valley outside of town.
Maxim: The Neckar valley, yes.
Jack: Yeah, there's a scenic overlook in the valley next to the old
university. The old courtyard is still a major picnic spot, so there we
were, just taking in the view, and...there was just a bunch of shooting.
A car behind us, it was just torn apart. There was this guy too, with a
beard. And sunglasses, I remember he was wearing sunglasses, he took out
this huge gun and started shooting.
[Jack takes a shuddering sigh and tries to steady himself. Miko wraps
her arms around him like a little girl hugging a teddy bear, tears
streaming down her face.]
Maxim: (pissed) Jesus.
Jack: (trying to keep his voice level) No...He wasn't even looking at
us. I don't think...he even knew we were there.
Maxim: We'll find him. The government has got agents combing the country
for him right now. Jack, Miko, I can't thank you both enough for keeping
cool and getting out of there. If you hadn't...
[Jack nods. James would not have done a damn thing, but they had to look
like they were trying to get away.]
Jack: (thinking) Man, being a spy isn't very fun.
Maxim: Well, you two should go get some rest. I'll have my secretary
find a hotel room, and company security can watch the place. I can have
the police there too, if it will make you feel safer...
[Jack looks at Miko, who glances at Maxim.]
Miko: (in a small voice) I...I think that would be a good idea. If we
saw too much...
Maxim: (nods) I understand. Stay in my office while we call the police.
They already know what's happened. Should be a few plainclothes officers
in the lobby, in fact. We're not supposed to talk to them, undercover
work and all.
[Jack's mouth twitches.]
[Fade to black.]
[Cue Metallica's "Better Than You" faintly in the background as the
narrator's deep, booming voice speaks over the scenes.]
Narrator: NEXT TIME, ON SIDESTEP:EVANGELION!
[Trishka, and an older man we've not seen before, sit before computer
terminals in a dimly lit room.]
Narrator: AGENTS OF BRANCH-X BEGIN UNCOVERING SECRETS OF THE PAST!
[Close up of Jack's face, the very picture of shock, lit from below by
something off-camera.]
Narrator: JACK CARLSON FINALLY DISCOVERS WHAT MAXIM COLTRANE HAS IN
STORE FOR HIM!
[Godai and Yuki, the cops from episode 8, are loudly singing in a
karaoke bar, while John and Trey cheer them on.]
Narrator: WHILE OTHERS PARTY!
[Miko and Jack in a posh hotel room. Jack sits on the bed like a broken
man, waiting for the axe to fall. Miko strides swiftly to the phone, her
face a mix of fury and determination as she snatches up the receiver.]
Narrator: PREPARE FOR THE HAMMER TO FALL!
[Carrie, James, and Dave exit a large conference room and walk towards
the camera in slow motion. Carrie looks grimly determined, James
pensive, and Dave worried.]
Narrator: ALL IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF SIDESTEP:EVANGELION!
[Ending credits:]
Ranting, Sidestep, lots of other stuff:
Jared Waddell, HQ
Consulting:
Insanity Productions Staff
FFML
Remarks:
John Genoni, Wayward Gamer
Absolutely Nothing:
Andy Mucha, Lost Soul
Miko Mido, the Shikima, and those with tentacles (usually) are from 'La
Blue Girl.'
Tokyo-3 and all things and characters present regarding Eva are from
Neon Genesis: Evangelion.
No copyright infringement is intended. This work is copyrighted but
non-profit. Perhaps in the vein of a bizarre parody, but I'm guessing
not.
All other characters, unless noted, are copyright Insanity Productions.
Original characters created by Insanity Productions may be used in freely
in other non-profit works, without the author's prior assent (you can
get it, but you don't have to).
And thank you, the reader, for reading.
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