Since it appears the FFML doesn't like my latest post of Nabiki-New
Horizons (possibly demonstrating
its good taste), I will try something new and different.  We'll see how
it likes Ai Yori Aoshi.

Well, if the FFML doesn't, at least *I* do! XD

It's nice to see an AYA fic on the FFML. Seriously.

The Wild, Wild East centers on Tina Foster, the child with a home but no
real country.

Ooooh, a Tina fic. This should be fun.

     Steve just nodded, glancing about for any sign of danger.  When he

noticed

a couple of the other passengers eying them, he tried to smile and nod

their

way.  That only led to quizzical expressions before they abruptly returned

the

nod and looked away again.  He really couldn't blame them.  His partner

looked

angry and a tall angry black man on a crowded subway train was sure to

create

no small degree of apprehension among the Japanese passengers.

GAIJIN PERIMETER!

 "Who puts up an eight foot fence in Japan?"

People worried about ninjas!

 "Maybe they want to keep basketball players out," his partner growled.

Or ninjas.

 Steve stumbled a few steps before he beginning to run again, negotiating

a

Either 'he began' or 'beginning' without the he, I should think.

     He was gasping for breath when they emerged in a clearing that was

big

enough to build an apartment building.  It was also housefly heaven.  In

the

middle was a massive net full of animal dung that dangled ten feet in the

air

suspended from a large construction crane.  The zoo people were either

airing

it out or preparing to load it into a poo removal truck.

I nearly pulled a spittake at that last phrase. XD

     "Now there's a sight you don't see every day," Steve wheezed as he

bent

over, hands on his knees, gasping for breath.  "I always wondered what

they

did with all the poop they scooped at the zoo."

They sell it to McDonald's and Taco Bell.

     Rising into a crouch, he worked his way along the fence line hoping

to find

another gate or opening.  It quickly became apparent that this section of

the

zoo was not one a person could easily get into or out of.

They have to protect their precious poo!

     Before he could yell a warning, his partner looked up and shouted a

most

ironic lament: "Aw SHIT!"

That about sums it up. XD

     An instant later, the load buried him with a thunderous splat'.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

     The firing slacked for a moment, as if the assailants were deciding

what to

do.

"I vote we fall down laughing our asses off."

     Stepping into the clearing, she froze.  The large stinking mound of

manure

was not on the crane where it was supposed to be.  For some reason, it was
on the ground.  Worse yet, there was a human leg sticking out from

underneath

it.

"Oh hell, did one of the lions get hold of a tourist again?"

     "Agreed.  She looks like an American."
     "That would make her a valid target, yes?"
     "Not necessarily.  She could be Canadian."

*SNRK*

     Tina began to slowly inch her way back towards the gate.  "So, ya

hosers

take your time, eh?" she called trying her best Canadian accent.  It

didn't sound

very convincing to her considering her glaring Texas accent.

Heh.

     "That is unacceptable!  You are NOT permitted to watch capitalist

running

dog propaganda while in this country!"  The angry retort was followed by

two

gunshots and the groan of a dying man.  "It was a lousy movie, anyway."
     There was a long pause as Tina continued to inch her way back towards

the

gate.
     "How about Takeshi's Castle?" came another voice.
     Three more gunshots rang out.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That made me smile in ways you can't even begin to comprehend. XD

     "Uh.. Excuse please," came a voice from across the clearing.
     "WHAT?" they yelled together in answer to the voice.
     "We are on very tight schedule.  Imperious leader expects us back by

five

and you know how traffic is.  Anyway, if zoological collective worker

please to

get out of way, we kill American now.  So sorry for earlier."

Well, at least they're POLITE cold-blooded murderers.

     "I SAID I am an agent for the government.  I'm not a spy," he

insisted.

     "That's not what your ID card says," she countered.
     "Yes, it does.  It says right there," he growled, pointing to the

title 'Agent

Steven Hunter'.  "I'm an AGENT."
     She skeptically eyed him for a moment.  "What kind of agent?"
     He sighed heavily.  "I eavesdrop on people."

That's called "spying", Steve. XP

     "Oh.  Do all your partners end up under piles of poop?" she asked,

pushing past him.

     "So far," he replied in a monotone as he retrieved his jacket.
     "Boy, that stinks," she said, ducking to enter the tunnel.

Really. X_X

     "You'll get used to it  partner."
     Tina banged her head on the tunnel ceiling.  Holding it with both

hands, she spun around to glare at Steve.  "I'm NOT your partner."

Thanks to WAY too much Dekaranger, I hear this exchange in Japanese every
time I see it.

     Tina groaned.  "What have I gotten myself into now?"

A whole lotta weird shit, Tina. XD

Good start...can't wait to see where this goes.

The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com



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