David McMillan wrote:
> DB Sommer wrote:
>
>
>
>> Through the wood Nabiki could hear water running. Perfect. If the
girl was next to a faucet, it meant her guard was down. Though what sort
of intruder used a bathroom before stealing things?
>>
>
>
> In *this* crossover? Well, there's the Whizzer....
>
>
% Nah. Everyone only thought his power was that. :)
>
>
>> "Get out!" Ranma shouted, covering himself with the empty bucket.
>>
>
>
> "I'm sorry, did you say *out* or *oof*?"
>
>
% Nah. He didn't hit himself there.
>
>
>> "Out? Yes, I suppose I should." With her view of Ranma blocked, she
possessed enough of her faculties to turn and leave. Her eyes were still
widened in disbelief as she headed to her room. Ranma was a hunk of beef
in every sense of the word. Every derogatory term about endowed men went
through her mind. She decided none of them really did Ranma justice.
>>
>
>
> "Derogatory"? Sug "vulgar metaphor"
>
>
% gotcha.
>
>
>> When Nabiki eventually drifted off to sleep, she had very pleasant
dreams indeed.
>>
>
>
> Heh.
>
>
% This did get very lime flavored, but it was just suggestive rather
than blatent. I thought I could get away with it.
>
>
>> Ranma sounded morose. "But Mom hates me. She even hates my other
superhero identity. It's like she hates me two times over. Do you know
what it's like when your mom goes on nationwide television, telling
everyone she hates you and founds an organization that wants to bring
you down?"
>>
>
>
> ....
>
>
>
>> "No, I'd say that's something fairly unique that's happened only to
you," Genma admitted.
>>
>
>
> Hang on, this is a Marvel crossover! There has to be at least
*one* other person this has happened to....
>
>
% Most of the character's parents are dead, so I don't think it's
actually happened too often.
>
>
>> Morning arrived, and with it so did Nabiki. Yawning, she headed
directly
>
>
> <snerk> I note you used 'arrived' rather than 'came.'
>
>
% Yeah. Someone else pointed it out. ^_^
> > Akane nodded. "There more to a guy than the size of his�" She trailed
>
>
>> off as Nabiki grabbed a zucchini and held it up. She went through
the courtesy of pretending to examine it, but the gesture was not lost
on either girl.
>>
>> "You've got to be kidding," Akane said.
>>
>> "It was probably bigger. That was him at 'half-mast'," Nabiki
clarified, placing the zucchini to her lips and began playing with it.
>>
>
>
> <plotz>
>
>
% He's the epitome of male physical perfection. :)
>
>
>> It was at that moment Soun entered the room. He was more than a bit
disturbed to see Nabiki, behaving in a highly improper manner with a
vegetable. "What's going on?"
>>
>> Kasumi answered. "Good news, Father. Nabiki is showing an interest
in Ranma."
>>
>
>
> BWAHAHHAAAA!
>
>
% Yeah, this was probably the funnest part of the chapter to write.
>
>
>> Nabiki nearly choked on the zucchini
>>
>> Soun looked upon Nabiki in a new light. "You don't say."
>>
>> Nabiki was still gagging as Akane added her opinion. "Yep. She
peeked on him in the bath."
>>
>
>
> ROTFL. Oh, this is *priceless*! The same thing that always
happens to canon-Ranma, but now Nabs is on the receiving end.
>
>
% It's fun to put other people on the crapper from time to time.
>
>
>> Finally extracting the large vegetable, Nabiki choked out, "It was
an accident."
>>
>> Her attempt at recovering lost ground did little good as Kasumi
added, "She was just telling us how impressed she was with his� manliness."
>>
>> "Going on about its great length. I mean going on about it at great
length," Akane corrected.
>>
>
>
> <beating... head... against... table....>
>
>
% I'm still sure that joke was used somewhere else, but it was the
perfect place for it.
>
>
>> Nabiki panicked. "There's more to men than the size of their--"
>>
>> Soun cleared his throat in a very loud tone, ending that direction
to the conversation. Seeing he had their attention, he continued. "You
are quite correct about there being more to men than their physical
attributes. Of course your mother used to be very impressed with my own--."
>>
>> All three girls cleared their throats.
>>
>
>
> Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
>
>
% Thanks.
>
>
>> Nabiki nearly choked again, this time without the benefit of trying
to deep throat greenery. "What?"
>>
>
>
> <snerk>
>
>
>
>> Mrs. Ono continued peering at Akane, as though she were looking into
her very soul. "So, my dear, what are your feelings about Hydra?"
>>
>
>
> Oops. I'd forgotten that little connection.
>
>
% Yep, and here it rears its ugly head once again. Got to keep some
subplots going.
>
>
>> "Fledgling governments often go through a brief period of civic
unrest after overthrowing corrupt regimes that are established under the
guise of 'free elections.' Besides, you know what they say; one man's
terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. It all depends on who wins
in the end and gets to write the history books. And continues to control
them as others sometimes try to rewrite history." Mrs. Ono continued
watching Akane closely. "What about the inroads in bio-technology Hydra
has accomplished?"
>>
>
>
> ...good grief, she should go into politics.
>
>
% Hydra spinmeisters know their work. That and political correctness
creates so many seemingly passive terms for bad things. :)
>
>
>> Before Akane could say anything further, Mrs. Ono interrupted. "How
wonderful to see a young woman who's so responsible. It's so hard to
find one in this day and age. And such nice hips."
>>
>
>
> No argument the-- er, I mean, um... I'll shut up now.
>
>
% Heh
>
>
>> That seemed to please the old woman. "I see, I see. Tell me, what
are your feelings regarding the organization known as Hydra?"
>>
>
>
> Ohboy.
>
>
% All she's doing is finding a suitable girl to join the family. :)
>
>
>> the Wasp. She'd enjoy stinging all of those bad people as punishment
for the awful things they've done."
>>
>
>
> Fortunately, since everyone in this 'fic has the average Marvel
Universe IQ, her secret identity is still safe.
>
>
% That and who would expect the leader of Hydra to be an old woman who
has trouble getting around?
>
>
>> Akane and Kasumi in stunned silence as the door swung shut.
>>
>
>
> What did they do?
>
>
% Being interrogate by Hydra and her comments about super hero fixations
threw them.
>
>
>> Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>>
>> Three women waited patiently before the JumboTron-sized view screen
that dominated the cathedral-like chamber of the secret sublevel of
Hydra's main headquarters.
>>
>
>
> For some reason, I'm put in mind of the Kree Supreme Intelligence.
>
>
% It's a classic theme, being before the evil overlord in their immense
throneroom. In this case it needs to be a giant TV screen, but it's the
same idea.
>
>
>> It was that that moment the view screen flickered on and the green
cowl of the Imperial Hydra appeared. Before the women could shout out
the Hydra motto, a deep male voice interrupted them. "I'm in a hurry, my
Grapplers. I have an important mission for one of you."
>>
>
>
> I've got a bad feeling about this.
>
>
% As well as you should. Dating can be a very dangerous and risky business.
>
>
>> "I see. I see," the Imperial Hydra said. "Now, for the most
important question of all: which of you has the biggest hips?"
>>
>> Titania and Letha both stared at their enormous comrade.
>>
>> "I won the Miss Big Hips contest last year," Poundcakes said proudly.
>>
>
>
> ...I don't want to know.
>
>
% One of the early R 1/2 episodes had Mrs. Ono show a picture of the girl.
>
>
>> The Imperial Hydra turned toward the picture next to her. "It's not
the best picture of him. He never did take pictures well. You should see
his driver's license. Boy looks like he's stoned out of his mind."
>>
>
>
> Like I said earlier about secret IDs...
>
>
% Yep.
>
>
>> troublesome, and heaped a world of pressure on his shoulders. He
wanted nothing to do with dressing gaudily and beating up people that
needed therapy, not bludgeoning. The only reason he put up with the
aggravation was for Kasumi's sake, but the pressure was building.
>>
>
>
> <boggle> What, did the Doc get Peter Parker's free-floating
angst allotment or something?
> And, Doc -- most of these guys, you can't therapize them until
*after* you've restrained them. Which usually includes lots and lots of
bludgeoning.
>
>
% At times he wanted to drop out of superheroing and eventually suffered
a mental breakdown because of it. Tofu is having... issues as well.
% And as to the supervillain issue, some people can't resist the 'just
speak nicely to people that do bad things and they'll stop doing them'
school of thought.
>
>
>> On top of some papers was a gleaming metal flask filled with brandy.
It life, only to repeat the actions the very next weekend. Still, he had
chosen to stop his drinking after graduation, only occasionally tying
one on from time to time. It was periodic, and he hadn't touched a drop
in well over a year. In fact, he had only kept the flask around out of
habit. But now�.
>>
>
>
> Uh oh. I don't recall Hank Pym having a booze problem, but...
>
>
>
% No, he didn't have that.
>> "Knock, Mother!" Tofu snarled. His hands were a blur as the top was
screwed back on and shoved the flask to the back of the drawer.
>>
>> Rather than being chagrined, Mrs. Ono took the initiative. "Don't
take that tone with me, young man. I taught you to respect your elders,
and if you've forgotten that, well, it's not too late for you to relearn
them."
>>
>
>
> I've got yer respect right here, you old-- um, nevermind.
>
>
% Heh
>
>
>> She cut him off, his reaction anticipated. "But I do need you to
provide me with grandchildren. When is the last time you dated?"
>>
>
>
> Oh, brother.
>
>
% It's been building up to this. An entire chapter devoted to dating.
>
>
>> between them. And if that didn't work, the old, 'Before this goes
any further, you should know I have a highly contagious sexually
transmitted disease' would send her packing. That one never failed.
>>
>
>
> (Un)fortunately, Poundcakes knows somebody in Hydra's Bio-Science
section. After all, if Mad Science can't cure STDs, what's is good for?
> ...don't answer that.
>
>
% Heh
>
>
>
>> "No, bad," Akane insisted. "This girl is completely wrong for him."
>>
>> "Have you met her?"
>>
>> Akane wrung her hands, hesitating before answering. "Well, no, but I
just know she's wrong for him."
>>
>> "Because she's not you?"
>>
>
>
> It's nice to know that they're still Ranma characters, even if
they have been Marvel-ized.
>
>
% Thanks. I try to find something of a balance between the two.
>
>
>> Akane glared as evilly as she ever had at her sister. Between the
offhand manner in which she tossed aside Akane's love, as well as her
transparent ploys at using her to get out of something she didn't want
to do, made her more resentful than she could ever remember being. "Do
you really think only about yourself?"
>>
>
>
> "Between" and "made" don't match. Sug: "...do, Akane was more
resentful..."
>
>
% used the grammar corrections.
>
>
>> Nabiki smiled warmly. "Excellent. Why, with us going out like this,
one could think of it as a date of sorts."
>>
>
>
> <facepalm>
>
>
% And that takes care of that problem.
>
>
>> Draining the last of wine from his glass, and flagging down a waiter
to get another one, Tofu began to talk, slurring just a bit, "So, what
is it you do for a living?"
>>
>
>
> I'm beginning to get a bit worried about Tofu and the sauce.
>
>
% Actually it's making his worries go away. :)
>
>> Titania nodded. "If she hasn't clotheslined him by now, thing are
probably going well."
>>
>
>
> <shudder>
>
>
% Well, she raises a valid point.
>
>
>
>
>> Ranma was about to panic when he saw two suspicious figures in
trenchcoats confront Akane. He could tell by their belligerent postures
something bad was about to happen. He had never been so happy to see
someone threatened in his life. "Hey, we have to stop them!" Ranma
immediately broke cover and ran toward Akane.
>>
>
>
> Odd, the things you can learn to appreciate.
>
>
% It's situational.
>
>
>> "Who the hell are you and what's this girl to you?" Titania asked as
Letha remained to the side, watching events unfold.
>>
>> "I'm Cap--." Ranma bit his tongue. "Ranma Saotome, and I'm
cohabitating with that girl."
>>
>
>
> ....not gonna say it.
>
>
>
>> "Don't make it sound so sordid!" Akane shouted.
>>
>
>
> I'll just let Akane say it.
>
>
% Heh
>
>
>> Nabiki brushed her hands casually. "Geez, Ranma, who taught you to
fight? Always go for the cheap shot when it presents itself. Letting
someone know you're around like that is practically begging to get your
ass kicked."
>>
>
>
> "Aww, tell it to the Sailor Senshi."
>
>
% They are classic examples of that theory.
>
>
>> Offended, Ranma said, "Sometimes you can defuse a situation with
words instead of resorting to violence."
>>
>
>
> ...okay, who are you, and what did you do with the real Ranma?
>
>
% He reads superhero handbooks, and that's one of the basic rules of them.
>
>
>> Nabiki arched an eyebrow. "Oh, and how often does it work for you?"
>>
>
>
> 'swhat *I* wanna know.
>
>
% Never.
>
>
>> Titania snarled and charged. Convinced she had the measure of her
opponent's abilities, Nabiki went for a high kick intended to end the
fight in quick and dramatic fashion. However Titania shifted the point
of her attack as Nabiki lashed out with her leg. The older woman aimed
lower, tackling Nabiki's pivot leg and knocking her down. Titania then
rolled up holding onto Nabiki's leg. She sat up on her haunches on top
of Nabiki's back, pinning her to the ground. She tucked the leg under
her arm and pulled backward on it. "A half-Boston crab should be enough
to finish you off."
>>
>
>
> Ow. Darn it, Nabs, you should know better than to let a grappler
get her hands on you.
>
>
% Nabby is good, but not the best.
>
>
>> Ranma tried to finish the fight with a tremendous punch to the jaw.
Letha backpedaled even as the fist came crashing toward her. It glanced
off her shoulder. Ranma was mentally calculating his next attack when
she grabbed the fist with both hands. Snake quick she raised her entire
body up, locking her legs around Ranma's upper body while repositioning
her grip on his arm, holding it out, extended and straight, while at the
simultaneously trying to twist it in different directions. She was
literally hanging in mid-air by Ranma's arm.
>>
>
>
> "Hey! No fair!" <shaking arm wildly> "GERROF!"
>
>
% Heh
>
>
>> This time he swung her like a bat headfirst into a telephone pole.
The force of the blow was too much for Letha, and she released the hold
as her body remained right where it was while Ranma's arm continued on
the follow through. She fell to the ground unmoving.
>>
>
>
> <wub wub wub>
>
>
% It's not over yet.
>
>
>> Groggily Letha returned to her feet, shaking her head. Amazingly,
Ranma did the same.
>>
>> The two stared at each other, and then smiled.
>>
>
>
> Oooooh, boy.
>
>
% Actually in character for Kai.
>
>
>> '--And so that's how I won the Miss Big Hips competition last year.
Maybe after dinner you could place those skilled physicians' hands of
yours on them and get a firm grip, if you know what I mean," Poundcakes
said.
>>
>
>
> <shudder>
>
>
% Unwanted advances. Women have to fend them off more than men usually,
but still.
>
>
>
>
>> and then a wall. He went sailing into the kitchen where he wiped out
ten dinners about to be served up, as well as a souffl� that the chef
had cooked to show his staff how one was properly done. He didn't get up.
>>
>
>
> "Chef! Wadda we do?"
> "Quick! Tell the customers that our Surprise Special tonight is
Long Pig -- and get my knives."
>
>
% Heh'
>
>
>> There was resentment in Tofu's voice as he spoke. "I just can't
respect someone whose first response is violence. I want a girl who's
gentle and nice. Who can remain calm and levelheaded through any crisis.
One who would try to solve things peacefully. Frankly, you aren't even
remotely the sort of person I'm interested in. You're more suited to be
some senseless super-villainic brute."
>>
>
>
> He needs Kasumi. Just... Kasumi a bit more like her old self.
>
>
% Right. The problem being Kasumi is having fun. And doesn't want to be
old Kasumi.
% Yay! Conflict.
>
>
>> Tofu looked back and forth between the two. "You were on a date?"
>>
>> "Never!" Akane said. "He was on a date with Nabiki and I sort of ran
into them and we made it a threesome."
>>
>
>
> Not gonna say it.
>
>
% Heh
>
>
>> "I was in a threesome on college once," Tofu said dreamily.
"Fraternity prank. Although I wasn't in the fraternity. It was one
played on me. My ass was sore afterwards."
>>
>
>
> ...urk.
>
>
% Actually he explains the sore bottom part below, though it's not
readily evident.
>
>
>> Akane looked scandalized.
>>
>> "I got drunk and rolled down a hill, ending up with a bunch of
scrapes with cinders in my backside. It's a long story. I'd better go
help Ranma."
>>
>> Akane became helplessly lost by the multiple directions the
conversation had taken, and decided it was probably best to not try to
sort it out; she might not have liked where it had been going.
>>
>
>
> Good plan.
>
>
% Yes, it probably is for the best.
>
>
>> After Tofu gave Ranma a brief examination, and determined he
suffered from nothing more than some sore ribs, the quartet left the
establishment before somebody tried to hit them with the repair bill.
>>
>
>
> I hear Damage Control, Inc is setting up a Tokyo branch.
>
>
% Heh
>
>
>> Ranma stared at her blankly. "We were on a date?"
>>
>> "A very interesting one. Be very clear on that if either of our
fathers ask."
>>
>
>
> Heh.
>
>
% And now only one more chapter to go in the Act.
% Thanks for all the help. It's greatly appreciated.
DB Sommer
>
>
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