rgorman@telusplanet.net wrote:

Quoting DB Sommer <sommert@connecttime.net>:

 

Midnight had fallen at the Tendou household, but the darkness held
no 
terror for Nabiki Tendou, who was having difficulty sleeping.
Insomnia 
was a problem she suffered from occasionally, but the solution of a

little warm milk was only a refrigerator away. That was why she was
on 
her way to the kitchen in the dead of night.
   

Clunky opening. Needs a machete taken to it. 

Yeah, don't know what the hell I was thinking torturing prose like that. 
I should know better, especially for an opening. How about

It was midnight at the Tendou household, but the darkness held no terror 
for Nabiki Tendou, who was having difficulty sleeping. Insomnia had 
always been an occasional problem, but the solution of a little warm 
milk was only a refrigerator away. That was why she was on her way to 
the kitchen in the dead of night.

Through the wood Nabiki could hear water running. Perfect. If the
girl 
was next to a faucet, it meant her guard was down. Though what sort
of 
intruder used a bathroom before stealing things?
   

Actually there was one burglar who was caught because he found
burglary so stressful that he became incontinent while doing them.  
 

% I can believe it.

was naked. Very naked. And facing Nabiki, giving her an ideal view
of 
everything nature had provided the very, very perfect specimen of
the 
male of the species.
   

Incidentally, given that Nabiki seems to be favourably impressed with
Ranma's physical charms, and the girl who gets the engagement is the
one who inherits the house...just why is she so reluctant?  It's not
like she knows the fact which caused the real Nabiki to take herself
out of the running.  With both Kasumi and Akane out of the running,
it's easy money without effort.  Sounds just like Nabiki's thing.  
 

% Except she doesn't want to be married/engaged at seventeen, feels like 
she's been brow-beaten into doing things she's never wanted to do, and 
this is an extension of it.

Incidentally I'm kind of surprised that Nabiki didn't end up being Loki.  
 

% Would that make Soun Odin? :)

When Nabiki eventually drifted off to sleep, she had very pleasant

dreams indeed.
   

Soooo...what's the problem?  
 

% Fantasizing about someone isn't the same thing as actually living 
things out with them.

The now clean Ranma flopped onto his mat. "I beat up some idiot
called 
the Gamecock. He was dressed like a deranged chicken. I recommended
that 
when he eventually gets out of jail he should go after Daredevil,
since 
most loser super villains seem to gravitate to him."
   

Should have recommended he go after Puma.  
 

% No. The Gamecock was worse. Much, much worse. Here's a pic and a 
listing of his, uh, abilities

http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix3/gamecockcap.htm


% Now deceased, and theoretically might stay dead due to lameness. 
Although they might have someone bring back the costume someday (One 
villainous Steeplejack wasn't enough, they had a second one as well)

"No, I'd say that's something fairly unique that's happened only to

you," Genma admitted.

"Well it sucks."
   

I have a cunning plan.  Ranma should go to her in his female form and 
ask her to teach him how to be more modest and lady-like.  That should
be useful for making him look like a complete fool...I mean winning
her over.    
 

% Hehehehe

Akane didn�t know what she had done to offend the old woman, but 
suddenly had the idea that if she were to marry Dr. Tofu, she
wouldn't 
be spending a lot of time with her mother-in-law. "I have to get
back to 
work," Akane said in the hopes the old woman would leave her
alone.
   

Gosh, doesn't Akane know you always verbally agree with the
mother-in-law no matter how insane she is?  
 

% No. She's only sixteen.

"I see. Excellent. Excellent," the Imperial Hydra cooed. "Now, are
any 
of you married?"

Titania said, "No, but I do get hit on by morons at lot at bars."
   

a lot


 

"I guess that makes sense," Ranma said. "She hasn't missed a day of
work 
since I've been here, even when she had that really bad cold."
   

That's what I want to see.  Thor with a cold.  The sneezes would be
epic.   
 

% Hulk sneezes would be worse, although I did see an amusing bit in 
Tenjou Tenge with a character being talked about by someone in another 
scene, and as they flashed to the character his 'someone talking about 
me sneeze' coated someone in a huge amount of snot.

 

% Thanks for the help.

DB Sommer

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