Nidoking wrote:

 > The subject line says it all, really. I'd be surprised if I learned that
 > this was the first Azumanga Daioh/Cromartie High School crossover ever
 > written, but I don't think I've seen any others. Remember to read in a
 > well-lit room and sit an adequate distance from your computer screen or
 > print in a large font to avoid eyestrain.
 >  
 >

Ugh, hated the first episode of Cromartie, which I got as some sort of 
promotional thing. But since I love Azumanga, let's check it out.

 >
 >
 > Great Cromanga High School
 >
 > An Early Start
 >
 >    "Guess what, everyone!" Yukari shouted jubilantly as she burst into
 > the classroom. "We're going on a field trip today!" She grabbed a piece
 > of chalk and started to write "FIELD TRIP" on the board in giant
 > letters, but stopped halfway through the 'F' when she realized that
 > nobody had responded to her outcry. She slowly turned around to face the
 > rows of empty desks. Her


Heh. Bit of a surprise.

 >    "That can't be right," said Yukari, squinting at her watch. "I could
 > have sworn it was...." She blushed and pulled the watch off her wrist.
 > "Oops. I had it on upside-down." She stared at her coworker while she
 > slipped the watch back on the right way. "Wait... what are YOU doing
 > here at five-thirty in the morning?"
 >  
 >

Kimura: Being tackled by angry school teachers.

 > before nine o'clock and she was awake, and more importantly, not drunk.
 >    She shuffled back into the classroom to remedy as many of those
 > problems as possible.
 >
 > WHICH EXPLAINS THE BRANDY FLASK IN THE ERASER TRAY....
 >  
 >

True.

 > Feel Drip
 >    "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Yukari shouted at the top of her lungs. "The
 > one day I decide to coordinate a field trip, and you can't even be
 > bothered to show up a few lousy hours early! I will make your life a
 > living hell for this!"
 >

Yukari: I mean more of a hell than usual.

 > HELL MAY BE AN IMPROVEMENT.
 >
 >    "I don't think there's a right answer to that question," Chiyo said
 > at last.
 >    "So tell us about this field trip," said Kagura. "You seemed pretty
 > excit-"
 >  
 >

% Nice move on Kagura's part

 >    "We're going to CROMARTIE HIGH SCHOOL!" Yukari announced proudly.
 >  
 >

You can tell its important since its in caps.

 >    "WHAAAAAAAAT?!" the class shouted back in unison.
 >    "So we're leaving a rathole to go to the only school in the world
 > that's an even bigger rathole?" asked Yomi.
 >    "Yeah, but think about it," said Yukari. "No Nyamo. NO NYAMO.
 > Imagine the possibilities!"
 >    Chiyo imagined a world where Yukari was allowed to be herself,
 > unchecked by the sanity that Miss Minamo commonly injected into her
 > life. It was composed mostly of the burning wreckage of cars.
 >  
 >

% Hehehe. Nice delivery.

 >    Kaorin had already raised her hand to ask the question that was on
 > everyone's minds. "Who's going to be driving the bus?"
 >    "I'm driving, of course!" boasted Yukari.
 >    Chiyo and Kaorin screamed and dove under their desks.
 >    "Well, that's what I wanted to say..." Yukari continued, "but the
 > principal insisted that I hire a professional bus driver."
 >    The class breathed a collective sigh of relief.
 >    "Which is why I got my CDL yesterday!" Yukari finished,
 >

% hehehe


 > holding up
 > the laminated card for all to see. An eraser hit the license right in
 > the center and snapped it cleanly in half.
 >    The class cheered as Yomi put down her rubber band.
 >    Yukari screamed. "What did you do that for? I was just kidding! That
 > was my real driver's license!"
 >  
 >

Even better. Nice comedic timing.


 >    The class cheered twice as loudly.
 >
 > AND THE STREETS WERE ONCE AGAIN MADE SAFE.
 >
 > Making an Impression
 >
 >    The upside-down, flaming bus skidded to a halt in front of the gate
 > of Cromartie High School and gave its occupants just enough time to
 > crawl out the windows before exploding. A group of thirty tough students
 > stood in front of the main door and watched the wreckage burn.
 >    "Huh, that's weird," said one of the toughs.
 >    "What's weird?" asked another.
 >    "I thought the explosion would be bigger," replied the first.
 >    The pieces of the exploded bus exploded.
 >  
 >

Heh

 >    "I was hoping for some blood and guts," said a voice from the back
 > of the crowd.
 >    "Actually, with the latest advances in safety devices and vehicle
 > construction, injury accidents are on the decline," said someone in the
 > center.
 >    There was a brief scuffle in which the first student got his wish
 > many times over.
 >    A second bus pulled up behind what remained of the first, and
 > Yukari's class filed out. "Thanks for the ride!"


Very nice swerve


 >    Chiyo tugged on Osaka's shoulder. "Um... isn't that hot?"
 >    Osaka watched the smoke that was rising from her hand. "Yep. It's
 > pretty hot."
 >    "Shouldn't you put it down before it burns you?"
 >    "I used suntan lotion this morning," replied Osaka.
 >  
 >

Heh

 >    Fists clenched as the enraged mob advanced menacingly.
 >    And that was how every boy in Yukari's class came to spend the
 > remainder of the field trip in the Cromartie High School infirmary.
 >  
 >

Not that they were important to the series anyway. :)

 >    Hokuto's flunky sighed. 'Why is it always when I try to introduce
 > myself that they stop me?' he thought to himself. 'Is there some sort of
 > conspiracy to make sure that my name is never said aloud? What kind of
 > twisted universe would allow that? In any case, here in my thoughts, I
 > can't be interrupted. So, for the benefit of the reading audience, I
 > will finally end the suspense and announce my identity to the world. My
 > name is -'
 >    Hokuto pounded him on the head.
 >

Saw it coming, but still good execution.

 >    Tomo chuckled nervously. "Yeah, that's right.... Look at you, the
 > smart guy who didn't fall for it. Right?" She tugged at her arm, but it
 > refused to budge. "Kagura, now's your chance, while I have him
 > distracted!"
 >    Kagura shot another perfect three-pointer while she ignored Tomo's
 > plight.
 >  
 >

Heh

 >    It was too much. The sickness he'd been holding back for sixteen
 > years finally burst forth, and his breakfast ended up all over Tomo,
 > himself, and the gym floor. His foot came down in the puddle and flew
 > out from under him, throwing him onto his back with Tomo on top, still
 > screaming.
 >    The observers wrinkled their noses. "Ewww...."
 >    Tomo leapt to her feet and made a V with her fingers. "Oh yeah! I'm
 > the master of disaster!"
 >  
 >

And victories. I think the Azu girls will own this school shortly.

 > Who's Got the Smarties?
 >
 >    "Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen!" shouted Tomo in a
 > historic first scene that turned out to be a direct continuation of the
 > previous scene. "In the second part of our show, the challenger,
 > Kamiyama, has a commanding lead."
 >    "You haven't even asked a question yet!" shouted Yomi, the eternal
 > straight man.
 >  
 >

woman. But she is straight. Not like Kaorin

 >    "It's now time for the lightning round," said Tomo, ignoring the
 > outburst of sanity. "First question: Name the manga artist who married
 > Naoko Takeuchi!"
 >    Hayashida pressed his buzzer. "I don't read manga," he announced.
 >    A bolt of lightning shot out of the podium and electrocuted him.
 >    "I'm sorry, but that wasn't the correct answer," said Tomo. "So you
 > get the lightning penalty!"
 >    Chiyo shrieked.
 >    Yomi buzzed in. "I believe that would be Yoshihiro Togashi, the
 > author of Yuu Yuu Hakusho and Hunter x Hunter."
 >    "That's correct!" shouted Tomo. "Unfortunately, you didn't phrase
 > your answer in the form of a question."
 >    Lightning zapped Yomi.
 >    "You never said we had to phrase our answers as questions!" Yomi
 > protested.
 >    "Oh, yeah," said Tomo. "What game show was I thinking of?"
 >    Chiyo buzzed in. "Jeopardy!"
 >    "That's right! Two hundred points to Chiyoclaw!"
 >    "Chiyoclaw?" asked Chiyo.
 >    "Sorry, I was thinking about Harry Potter that time."
 >    Hayashida buzzed in. "What is Harry Potter?"
 >    "That's correct!" shouted Tomo. "But I didn't ask a question that
 > time.
 >  
 >
 >   Hayashida got a second blast of lightning.
 >  
 >

% Heh. Very nice.

 >    "This isn't Battle Royale," Yomi admonished her.
 >    "Yeah, that was a different crossover," said Osaka, hiding a folding
 > fan behind her back.
 >  
 >

Heh. Nice cameo

 >    "The sixth sheik's sick sheep's silk sheets sit shimmering in the
 > shining sun," she declared. "I win."
 >    Chiyo's lips moved silently for a few seconds. Suddenly, she gasped
 > and covered her mouth with her hands.
 >  
 >

Nice and subtle

 >    Tomo jumped on Hayashida's shoulders. "Hey!" she shouted, making a V
 > with her fingers. "Check it out! We brought back that kidnapped guy with
 > the stupid nickname!"
 >  
 >

Hehehe

 >    "GOODBYE, YOMI," said Mechazawa. "PERHAPS WE'LL MEET AGAIN SOMEDAY."
 >    Osaka leaned sideways as she watched the pair ride down the hall and
 > out of sight. "There's something really weird about that kid."
 >    "He had a motorcycle accident," explained Hayashida.
 >    Osaka nodded. "Yeah, that explains it."
 >  
 >

Or at least explains it well enough to not ask any more questions.

 >    "How droll," said Hokuto. "With my fortune, I could have the most
 > skilled actresses in the world at my door at a moment's notice, all
 > eager to do whatever it takes to please me. I have no interest in
 > ordinary high school girls."
 >    Yomi glanced at Osaka, who was vacantly staring out the window at
 > passing fire hydrants. "So... what ARE you after?"
 >    Hokuto's head slowly swiveled around to stare into her soul. "What I
 > want... is all of you!"
 >    "That's kinky," said Kagura.
 >    "Have you forgotten who my father is? I am the supreme commander of
 > your entire class! You all belong to me! I OWN YOU!"
 >    "... I think we'd be better off with Yukari driving," said Kagura.
 >    Everyone else who was hiding with her in the back seat nodded.
 >  
 >

Amusing.

 > NOT ALL ACCIDENTS ARE TRAFFIC-RELATED.
 >
 > -------------------
 >
 > Author's Notes:
 >
 > Yeah, what a joke to go out on. Oh, well. This took way, way too long to
 > write. I want to blame long work hours and lots of overtime, but I
 > expect that video games played more than their fair part. And I played
 > more than my fair share of video games.
 >  
 >

I'd love to have that kind of time. Actually I'd love to have more 
money. And peace of mind. I'd like lots of things :(

But I'll settle for enjoyable Azu/CM xovers. Quite amusing. I enjoyed it 
a lot, despite my dislike of CH. Many thanks for sharing. Great way to 
kill some time.

 > DB Sommer
 >
 >
 >  
 >



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