--- Michael P Hopcroft <michael@mphpress.com> wrote:

You don't want to know the sort of fantasies that have inspired me 
lately. Really, you don't.

I doubt I would mind - but it is you who does not wish to share them,
for good reason.

WARNING: This is Not a comic AzuFic. It is dark, violent, sensual

and

deals with difficult moral issues. It is obviously not part of
standard 
continuity.

Not sensual.  Not so difficult.  Not even that violent (although

there

is some).  You might want to rephrase the second sentence as

simply,

"It is dark, with bloodshed."  That should get the point across.
  

That is the universal disclaimer that goes on every chapter, and
before 
I'm done it will be obvious why I put it there. As for sensuality,
much 
of it is perceptive, which is again something that will be gone into
as 
the story goes on (particularly as we delve into the effects the
events 
of this story are going to have on Tomo -- Yomi has obviously
changed, 
but Tomo has been altered too....)

Ah.  Perhaps it will make sense with later chapters...although it does
seem to be a bit of a weak disclaimer upon reading the first, so some
readers might be inclined to dismiss it for later chapters.  (Then
again, that would only be those who read the story anyway, so perhaps
by then it no longer matters.)

�This was a rotten time to run out of Green tea,�

The " characters here are non-standard.  It looks like Word (or
possibly some other program) inserted them for you.  I'd advise

turning

that "feature" off - at least when you're writing fanfics.
  

With Thuinderbird there's little I can do about that, and on the
other 
places I post to I NEED the formatting capabilities of a full-fledged
word processor. I know that's darned awkward for this list, thouigh.

Eh?  What other places won't accept plain ASCII text?  It has been my
experience that almost all fanfic lists and hosting sites will accept
anything formatted primarily for the FFML - and the exceptions tend to
be those that stress style info and/or interactivity, requiring formats
you could not post to the FFML anyway (at least without significant
editing to strip out the extra bits and make sure it still looked
good).

There is one other possibility which I could explore, though -- the 
possibility that the cop, and the authority figures who deal with
Tomo 
later, are NOT TELLING THE TRUTH (or at least the WHOLE truth). After
all, at this point in the story none of the characters believe there
are 
really such things as vampires in the world.

Possible, but...the conspiracy would have to include almost all of the
local medical staff.  Hospitals and ambulance services tend to be
staffed, for good reason, with those who won't let a marginal case die
without trying to save her.  Any of them who didn't know she was a
vampire would thus likely try to save her, even if ordered not to.
Even if they were all in on it, they would have to want to make more
vampires (or at least not object to the creation of new ones "in the
wild").

Which is possible, again, but somewhat constraining in terms of where
you could plausibly take this.  And Yomi's friends (though possibly not
her mother) would definitely consider that very strange - enough to
comment on it, at least.

Which makes it all the more a terrible thing for the hospital to do
-- 
they would not risk violating the law in such an egregious manner
unless 
they were afraid that something much, much WORSE would happen if they
didn't....

Your average medical type might be willing to risk their own life to
try to save someone else.  To force them not just to do nothing for the
girl (not even give her hints as to her nature before she does
something she'll regret), but keep from speaking out (possibly
anonymously leaking information, but in enough volume and with enough
details that it can not be dismissed - and there are a lot of ways a
group of determined professionals can leak information without any fear
of being traced, unless mind reading is a fear too), would indeed
require something truly terrible.  Something on the level of a
plausibly threatened extermination of the human race - and even that
might not be enough.

Something is going to happen, certainly, but I'm not going to say
what.

If Tomo doesn't become a vampire, Tomo becoming addicted to Yomi bites
is also forseeable.  But it would be in character for Tomo to beg to
become a vampire.

I've already had two people on the AzuDai Fanfics mailing list tell
me I 
have no business writing this story.

I recall getting similar C&C over both "The Path of Cute" and
"Chiyobreak".  Brush 'em off: it's your muse.

Where do I draw the line? Let's start with AniYoko lemons. Rather,
let's 
avoid AniYoko lemons at all possible cost. 8^(

So, no tales about Chiyo's lemon tree, where she and Mr. Tamakichi once
played all day?  :P

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