This one really shouldn't be all about me and my experiences... but mine is the only skin I'm in, so I have to tell you about what I see and experience from my perspective.  It's a skewed one, to be sure, and to give you an idea how skewed, let me talk to you about the run-up to the con for a moment:
 
There hasn't been.
 
Normally, we've got to get ingredients and other snacks bought, batter prepared, babysitting provided for Dan-chan (yes, he's a big boy nowadays, but we're talking about three whole days here), packing to do - especially the computer and any CD-ROMs we're likely to play...
 
And I haven't done a thing.
 
Oh, it isn't as if it hasn't been getting done.  Konatsu has been running around frantically, checking all the notes we made last year, making sure that everything we did last year (and a thing or two we neglected to do).  I've been completely out of the loop.  
 
And believe me, as frantic as Konatsu can be do this, I'd much rather be in my kunoichi's shoes this week.  But the school year's starting, and Kunou-kouchou's having to deal with a few emergencies, so the reports for the board need to be finished by Thursday.  That's good, 'cause I simply canNOT stay here Friday, but it's bad, 'cause it means putting in twelve-hour days to make sure everything gets done.  If I wasn't getting paid for this, it'd be like a year's worth of detention.  At least I don't have to cut my hair.
 
As a result, when it comes to the outside world, it's like my head's been under a rock or something.  So imagine my astonishment at hearing about the devastation in the Louisiana gulf - especially considering it's been a hot, *dry* summer up here in the Chicago area.
 
***
 
The Germans have an interesting word that we English speakers have appropriated: Schadenfreude.  Basically, it means happiness at the misfortunes of others.  One wonders what it says about the German character that they would have a word for such an emotion (and likewise, what it says about us Anglophones that we need to steal such a word for our own use).
 
I should point out that what I'm experiencing isn't quite like that.  What's happening down South with Hurricane Katrina (and to think, I know someone by that name - she'll be forever branded, thanks to this) is surely terrible, and I can't imagine anyone being happy to see this sort of thing happening.  But in a way, it's the sort of thing that brushes all my complaints about life at Furinkan - my overwork, my nerves, my insomnia - and renders them so terribly insignificant in comparison.  
 
*** THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 8
 
With the reports mostly assembled, Kunou-kouchou grants me the day off on Friday to attend AnimeIowa.  He seems to find the anime convention scene as I describe it rather amusing.  With him having to take off next week on a family emergency, I suppose I should be happy that I can make him smile, given what he's going through at the moment.  Since it's a six-hour drive to Des Moines, I've even managed to wangle a half-day on Thursday to get there ahead of the convention.  So I should be leaving Furinkan at noon today; Konatsu should be picking me up, so that we can go straight from here.
 
Only... my kunoichi isn't all *that* ready, either.  Can I wait until 2, or maybe 3 p.m.?  Sure, there's still plenty to do, that much is certain.  In fact, by the time Konatsu calls to tell me that we're ready to leave the Ucchan, I'm busy in a meeting, and find out about it through voicemail.  By the time I've got everything put away to my satisfaction (and Kunou-kouchou practically shooes me out the door), my kunoichi has been sitting in the parking lot, peeling carrots, for fifteen, twenty minutes.
 
Yes, of *course* we're making okonomi-yaki this weekend.  It's gotten to the point that I imagine it's more or less expected of us.  I'm really not sure what would happen if we came to AnimeIowa and *didn't* make okonomi-yaki; how would everyone react?
 
***
 
Konatsu's done a pretty thorough job of packing - considering how much later we're leaving than we intended, one would sort of hope so.  Still, my kunoichi remarks that 'it's not a proper convention without us forgettting SOMEthing.'  In this case, it's a serving spoon for ladling ramen noodles, should anyone want any.  As loathe as I am to stop, given the late hour (we're even eating as we drive), we make sure to pick one up at a local mall before arriving in Des Moines.
 
Oh, there was one other thing that was left behind.  We'd printed out the webpage with the hotel information, including address and reservation confirmation number.  Konatsu had used the back of the printout for a checklist of everything needed for the weekend's activity.  Well, it's not like it occurs to one to bring the list itself once everything has been checked off, now, does it?  So, we're not sure about exactly *where* the Hotel Fort Des Moines *is* in Des Moines, just that it's right smack downtown.  The one saving grace is that we have been here before, after all, and so we do manage to locate the place with a minimum of backtracking (although there is trouble with several near wrong turns down one-way streets).
 
***
 
I should point out at this juncture that my earlier assertion that we did nothing to prepare for this convention until this last-minute frenzy isn't quite accurate.  Some time early in July, we attempted to make our reservations for a hotel room at the Fort Des Moines.  They weren't available.
 
Erm... that's not quite right either.  Thursday and Saturday nights were available when we called, but the place was full up on Friday.  We'd have to take all our stuff and move it across the street to the Savory.  
 
That would just not do.  
 
They did offer to put us on a waiting list, and if something opened up, they'd let us know.  It wasn't like we really had much choice, but we were afraid we'd have to seriously curtail our activities if things didn't pan out.
 
Fortunately, we didn't have to worry after all.  About a month later, we received a call from the Fort Des Moines saying a room was a available for the entire weekend, and would we want it?  Are you kidding?  We snapped it up.
 
It turns out to be even better than all that.  When we registered, we'd informed the convention staff that we wanted a room on the party floor.   The hotel actually managed to oblige us on this score, giving us a room right on that fourth floor.  Wilder still is the fact that it was #425... the exact same room we'd had last year!  What are the odds, ne?
 
So not only have we got a room, we have a *familiar* room, and (most importantly of all, when you think about it) a *big* room, complete with a kitchen alcove and everything.  
 
***
 
At this point, though, it's a bit late to volunteer to help with setting up (I'm sure the con staff would disagree, as there's *always* work to be done of some sort or another), so we just wander around for a bit before turning in (yes, we do sleep during conventions; we're just too darn old NOT to, frankly).  We drop in on the consuite, under the impression that someone was looking to check with us about Saturday's okonomi-yaki service, but whoever it may be is not there when we are.  
 
So we meander down to the dealers' room, where we check out the guys from Fast Food Anime.  Unlike us, they *don't* have the same room as they did last year (which had been right next door) - they're stuck all the way up on the ninth floor, in a much smaller room than last year, too.  Granted, they hadn't intended (or wanted) to be on the party floor, but this is like banishment to Siberia.
 
Across from Fast Food Anime is a vendor selling mostly T-shirts, including images of Totoro and Domo-kun, as well as such varied series as FLCL and Haibane Renmei.  All very interesting, but even with the sponsorship, the opportunity to actually *buy* stuff won't begin until tomorrow afternoon.  But we take note of a few possibilities, all the same.  We get a half-hour head start on the masses tomorrow... with a bit of research, we can make the most of that time.
 
***
 
Did I just say something about turning in?  Who am I kidding?  11 p.m., and Konatsu wants to use the pool before it closes.  Fine, fine...
 
There's a couple of guys in the hot tub discussing, of all things, the Japanese corporate model, and how it's an improvement over the American model.  I can't resist asking, if Japan's structure is so much better than America's, why has he former country been mired in a decade-plus long recession?
 
I forget the answer, as I'm not taking my notebook into the hot tub.  I do recall the discussion taking turns through such topics as D&D and Doctor Who before one of the fellows heads out.  Much to our surprise, the fellow remaining is NOT here for the convention.  in fact, Mike here is leaving for his home in Oregon (!) tomorrow, after he gives a presentation to an assembly of delegates from the USDA.  Yes, the Department of Agriculture - come on, this IS Iowa.
 
He doesn't take offense when we tell him that he's remarkably well-versed for a mundane, but while he enjoys the occasional anime, it's not his big thing.  Turns out, he enjoys a good game (the non-video type, if you can believe it), and he and Konatsu swap stories about certain favorites.  we mention the London Game (set in the Underground), and he tells us about TransAmerica (on the America railway system; we discuss card games like Mao, Hand and Foot, and Fluxx.
 
Eventually, though, he heads out - hey, he's got a speech to prepare - but we stick around until the pool is scheduled to close, at midnight.  Not that anyone actually comes by to throw us out or anything, but I'm still groggy from all that driving.  That, and the fact that I've been waking up at 5 a.m. for the past week or so with my mind reeling from all the stuff I need to do yet during the day.  I don't know that I'll get a good night's sleep even here, 300 miles from Furinkan.
 
*** FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 9
 
But as I slowly return to consciousness Friday morning, it is with amazement that I note the time on the alarm clock (which I did not set, by the way): 9 a.m.  Konatsu, who is already up, points out that I haven't slept like that even on weekends for a very long time.
 
Oh, yes.  I'm relaxed here.
 
Of course, this has its downside, too: there is no hotel bed that can match the waterbed we have at the Ucchan.  So I'm waking up with my usual hotel-bed backache.  At least it's nothing that a good quarter-hour under a hot showerhead can't fix.
 
***
 
Last year at this time, we discovered that we were short on a number of supplies (such as paper and masking tape for flyers to advertise our room party) and wondering what to do for breakfast, since the convention hadn't officially begun and the consuite wasn't open, so we headed out to a Walmart waaaay out on the edge of town.
 
This time, we've packed those necessities (well, Konatsu has, anyway), so we can just stay here all weekend and not miss out on anything.  And as far as breakfast goes, well, we know about the Hospitality Suite upstairs... maybe they have something we can eat.  Granted, without being registered we might have trouble proving that we're sponsors.  We have the lanyards from last year's sponsorship, but that doesn't necessarily prove anything for this year.
Maybe we should check to see if registration's opened early.
 
Still, no need to rush.  On the third floor, we pass by (and through) the consuite, which is alive with the sound of music - after a fashion.  Perched by the soda fountains is a cluster of costumed otaku singing some song they claim is from Final Fantasy (I don't catch which one it's from), while nearer the entrance are a couple whose tastes run more to the classics - specifically, West Side Story: "I feel pretty, and witty, and very very gay..."
 
Ooookay.  What would Sondheim think?
 
The stairwell to the second floor empties out right by the dealers' room (the layout is really more or less identical to that from last year.  Why not, it's the same hotel, and it all worked pretty well - why fix what ain't broken?).  The place is closed to the public, but a staffer is there both to enfore this, and to allow in the occasional dealer still setting up their booth.  
 
She recognizes us, and we her.  Well, not by name, exactly, but we're regulars, and she's staff, so it's sort of a recognition of each others' faces - it's that whole Otaku Nation thing, after all.  At some point in our conversation, she encourages us to join up as staffers ourselves.  Any protests about our out-of-state status are quickly cut off by the fact that virtually ALL of the AnimeIowa staff are from out of state at this point.  And we'd only *have* to attend one of the staff meetings (although if we could make all six, that'd be great).
 
It'd be a nice idea, were it not for work and parenthood.  There are times I feel guilty enough, leaving Dan-chan with the folks (and later, L-chan) for the entire weekend twice a year.  More than that, and it won't be long before I won't be able to listen to "Cats in the Cradle" without sobbing guiltily.
 
Come to think of it, I do that even now from time to time.
 
***
 
Turns out that registration isn't scheduled to open until noon, but it's not like there's no activity going on here.  In fact, right by the desk is a girl in a typical school uniform... who turns around to reveal that he's a guy.  Well, he *is* build a little more masculine than your typical schoolgirl (even one who works out all the time, like Akane-chan), but he carries the costume off remarkably well.  We go over to congratulate him on his skill and poise.  Turns out, his costume isn't meant to be anyone, just a generic schoogirl costume - he shows us a poster from Kimi ga Nozume Eien, and pointing to the clumsier of the two waitresses, announces "That's who I'm going to be for the cosplay;" we'll keep an eye out for him - and he creates a new generic ensemble for every convention, and gives it away at the end of the con to... whoever wants it.  I'm sure he has no shortage of takers.
 
Meanwhile, we're starting to get hungry - it's 11 a.m., and we've not eaten yet.  Maybe we can slip up to the Hospitality Suite after all.  On that particular subject, there is a fellow down here who tells us that he had been a sponsor last year, but didn't find out about the Hospitality Suite until at least a month after the convention; he found out from reading my convention report.  Well, I'm flattered that people learn things from reading these reports, but it seems a pity for him to miss out.  I don't know if what we have here is a failure to communicate, or if he just didn't go through his goodie bag at the time.
 
Ah!  The registration desk may not be officially open, but they are taking names and distributing badges for those that have pre-registered.  So we give them our names, stick the badges in our lanyards (much better than stapling them to those pin tags, but there's a charge if the badges are lost, after all), and grab an upward bound elevator.  Maybe the waffles are on...?
 
...No such luck.  The room is virtually empty of both people and foodstuffs.  Only Don Swentik is there, getting the place put together for when everything opens up at noon or thereabouts.  We may have our ulterior motives, but we pitch in, preparing cheeses (and having a devil of a time figuring out the Chinese puzzle box that is a Cuisinart - really, it's just not meant for grating Mozzarella) setting out cold meats, and mixing waffle batter.  Don grins: "We need more folks like you - willing to be sponsors *and* work your asses off."
 
I should point out that we've never considered ourselves to be volunteers here at AnimeIowa, certain protestations from the staff to the contrary.  Sure, we do this or that, and put in a fair amount of time.  The thing is, though, that it's all on our own terms.  We come and go as we please; we're not at anyone's beck and call.  And we like it that way.  So what if we don't report our time to some staffer in order to earn swag (and I admit, this year's volunteer's T-shirt is particularly appealing)?  What we do is really more selfish that ought to be called volunteering.  But at long as what we do is appreciated, that's what matters.
 
It helps that we have pretty good timing; the setup has to be done before the masses pour in, and while Don could do it alone, this way it gets done several times faster.  We'll be ready.
 
***
 
In a couple of hours, a number of folks trickle into the room, including a cadre of staffers with more supplies for the room.  One of the guys heads off to the corner of the suite where a computer is set up, complete with internet connection and printer!  What a stroke of luck - we never did get a chance to put together any advertising.  Konatsu advises against creating room party banners, here:  my kunoichi has the idea to (for once) solicit actual donations for Katrina victims while we serve okonomi-yaki tomorrow - and not only that, we ought to match dollar-for-dollar every contribution made.  And to encourage that, we need to advertise this.
 
Asking for donations is one thing, but promising to match every dollar of it is a scary proposition.  But when my kunoichi gets an idea like this, I know it's a bad idea to hesitate.  Konatsu has a real heart for people that are suffering, and I don't mind telling you that my kunoichi sometimes serves as a second conscience.  We're well enough off; we can do this.
But it doesn't mean I'm not still just a little nervous.  If we get hundreds of dollars...
"So what?  That's just more to send down there, where it's needed."
 
*sigh*  You're right, sugar.  Let's go get that sign made.
 
***
 
But first, we need to let the staffer do his thing, which is to prepare a list of activities going on this afternoon - the program guides aren't back from the printer, so this will have to serve for now to let folks know what's going on as far as live programming goes (video schedules have already been posted by the screening rooms; we've seen 'em as we've gone from the dealers' room to the registration table)
 
Hey, what's this entry... Totoro Water Polo?  And it's going on right now?
 
Quick as you can say 'Tonari no Totoro,' my kunoichi bolts for the elevators, to prepare to join in with... whatever this is.  I'm not as much into swimming as Konatsu is, and at any rate, I'm still working on a peanut butter rarebit that I've just popped out of one of the sandwich grillers, so I'm a little indisposed when it comes to swimming.  Maybe I'll meander down there later.
 
Maybe.
 
***
 
But first, I stop by registration to find out if our sponsor packets are available yet.  No dice so far, though.
 
As I head to the room, I realize the group right across the hall that's moving in are none other than the Anime Detour crowd, who we spent a fair amount of time with at last year's AnimeIowa.  Seems like they've managed to get a room on the party floor this year, in any case.  However, they seem to be quite disappointed with their room:  seven of them are crowding into a suite that's split pretty much down the middle.  Good for co-ed sleeping quarters; not so good for a wide-open screening space.
 
Well, hey.  And here I sort of assumed that all the rooms on the fourth floor were like ours.  Ya learn something new every day.  
 
That said, I invite 'em in.  Why not combine strengths?  We've got the room, they've got advertising flyers and projection equipment, and we're right across the hall so it's convenient.  They accept, and start setting their stuff up - which involves shoving a bit of furniture around.  However, they decide to dispense with their screen, as the projection is bigger than it can hold, and the wallpaper is neutral enough to not distract too much.
 
While this is going on, Konatsu returns, disappointed.  Whatever the Totoro Water Polo was, it was over before my kunoichi ever arrived.  And Friday from noon to (supposedly) two was the only time it was scheduled to happen during the convention.  It's a pity to have missed out, especially since my kunoichi made an effort to go as soon as we found out about it; and you *know* we were among the *first* to find out, too.
 
Maybe it was mostly for the staff to blow off steam before everything *really* goes nuts.  Who knows?
 
***
 
The gang from Anime Detour continue to set up their equipment in the room, and we decide to take advantage of one of those perks of sponsorship: a half-hour on our own in the dealers' room.  Now, to get those T-shirts.  And a plushie.  And a Puchuu hat.  And a pair of earrings... oh, yeah, and some anime, too.
 
Okay, I think that's enough.  Heck, we may not have to bother with the dealers' room for the rest of the convention, barring any last-minute bargains these guys might put out then.
 
***
 
All right!  They've finally got program guides!  Konatsu is dismayed to find no references to Apples to Apples gaming.  And as for the cosplay rules, it would seem as though one could enter either the hall cosplay or the regular show, but not both... unless one has multiple costumes.  With the entire Lain ensemble that Konatsu has, I had been trying to persuade my kunoichi to give the cosplay a shot.  Start off in the bear pyjamas and then tear them off (they're held together with velcro - Konatsu could not figure out how Lain would use the bathroom in that outfit) to reveal Lain of the Wired.  But I had to contend with 'Natsu-chan's innate stage fright and the logical argument that front-row seats for the cosplay is one of the biggest draws of the sponsorship privleges - why waste that hanging out in the green room, where you can't see the performers?  There are better reasons to miss the cosplay - G.L. Sandborn wrote us last year to tell us that he was working with Mark Engel on
 getting him (Mark) published - but as good and noble as that reason is, it wouldn't hold water for Konatsu.
So it looks like we're going to be entering the hall contests - several times, in fact, as we have all three outfits, and can't enter any of them (there are four separate contests; one on Friday, two on Saturday, and one last one Sunday morning) in the same outfit.  Solves that problem, but it does mean we're not gonna be telling y'all about the cosplay from any new perspective like the green room.
 
With regard to the games, though, we decide it can't hurt to check out the gaming room.  Several PS2 versions of Dance Dance Revolution are already in progress, and as we check the posted schedule outside the room, Konatsu is cheered to see that yes, there is an Apples to Apples tournament happening tonight at eight.
 
Hold up a minute: tonight at eight?  Anime Detour plans to hold room parties both nights... in our room.  We'd already asked them to delay the party until after opening ceremonies (which start - or rather, are scheduled to start - at seven)  Shouldn't we be there for them when things get rolling?  We compromise - since Konatsu is gung-ho about Apples to Apples (and to be honest, gaming in general), I figure on staying in the room, and let my kunoichi go play.  Maybe, if things get going well enough, I can slip out unnoticed later on (heck, if we all are *really* lucky, AD will need all the extra room they can get).
 
***
 
On to the first scheduled item we want to check out.  It's a game show called Hexagon, but it doesn't involve any audience participation, unfortunately.  It *is* supposed to help us learn a bit more about our guests - specifically, what they know and (more to the point) what they don't know about anime and, well, life in general.
 
Now, if only we can get any of our guests *down* here for this.  We have the editor for Anime News Network, a young woman by the improbable name of Bamboo Dong (I would hate to have been growing up saddled with that moniker, let me tell you), but one contestant does not a game show make.  Konatsu volunteer to make a run up to the Hospitality Suite, to see if anyone's up there.  Nice idea, but my kunoichi returns fifteen or so minutes later, emptyhanded.  The staff in the Refresh Room assumed that the guests were all downstairs attending Hexagon already - which Konatsu vehemently denied, from firsthand knowledge.
Our host, Evan, is getting understandably nervous about this state of affairs, and I confess to not being much help; when he assures us that things will get started "in just two seconds," it's too concrete (and too optomistic) a number to ignore:
 
"One thousand one, one thousand two..."
 
"Quiet, you."
 
Okay, that I had coming.
 
At about this time (and actually, this is before Konatsu gets back from Hospitality), Greg Ayres attempts to slip in unnoticed.  Word of advice, Greg - this is not Ohtori Academy, and even there, pink hair may not be remarked upon, but it will make you conspicuous.  You cannot hide from the MC, not like that. 
 
On the other had, Evan tries to get 'a little applause' from the audience, and by now, that's about all he gets -  a very little applause.  Those that haven't left are, shall we say, less than wholeheartedly enthusiastic.  I mean, is this show going to get on the road or not?
 
***
 
After all this time (and at some point, I stop keeping track - why bother?), six contestants are finally rounded up.  Bamboo and Greg are joined by (and no, I don't know *where* they'd been hiding all this time) Johnny Yong Bosch (Vash the Stampede, among others), Tricia Dickson (Mayuko Chigaski from _NieA_under_7_), Zarah Little (Kana from _Haibane_Renmei_) and Talesin Jaffe (who's more a director than voice actor, but he's done his share).
 
It's at this point we learn the rules of Hexagon - it's a Japanese game show, so we Yanks wouldn't be familiar with what it is and how it plays.  Some twenty or thirty predetermined questions are available for one contestant to choose and ask the rest of the panel.  It is then up to the questioner to determine which of the panellists does *not* know the answer.  If the chosen panellist has the wrong answer, he or she gets a strike, and is one step closer to being knocked out of the game (three and you're out, naturally).  The questioner can either stop there, or select another panellist who they think doesn't have the answer.  On the other hand, if the panellist *does* know the answer, the *questioner* gets a strike.
 
Greg leads off by asking if anyone knows the name of the city in _Kaze_no_Yojimbo_.  He takes a real chance by selecting Bamboo Dong - as the editor of ANN, she ought to know *everything* about anime (turns out, it's self-destructive behaviour on his part, as he wants to head off to dinner) - but he's in luck, as she doesn't know the answer (Neo-Denver?  Is she kidding?).  Neither do any of the others, as Evan encourages each to put their answers up onscreen even though Greg has decided not to take any more chances by selecting other panellists.
 
Victim Bamboo serves up the next question, asking panellists about a description that even I recognize as natto.  The prize exchange here is when she interviews Greg (in order to get a handle on whether he knows the answer or not): "If you found this stuff in your pants, what would be your reaction?"
 
Greg hardly hesitates: "That was *some* party."
 
Ultimately, she picks Talesin, who as luck would have it, actually *likes* natto, and recognizes the description on the spot.  Two strikes for poor Bamboo.
 
The next question isn't about anime, and it doesn't help - no one knows the name of the governor of Iowa.  Californian Zarah gets points for wit by putting up "not Arnold, you lucky bastards."  But further questions tend to indicate that these folks, like most working stiffs, don't necessarily take their work home with them: the anime questions generally stump them.
Well, what did we expect?  Greg, of course, is the otaku working his dream job, but many of the actors onstage are just that, actors.  Which is not to put them down or anything - certainly, they all seem to be enjoying themselves up on stage, now that they're getting into the swing of things (granted, it's pretty disorganized, but it's gotten over its very rocky start) - but the fact is, they are *not* otaku.  This is just what they do for a living.
 
Somewhere along the way, Trisha reads a question that gives her pause.  She takes it over to Evan, who agrees that if it were read out, it would cause absolute chaos.  She picks another question and proceeds, but gosh if we're not all curious as to what that question *was*.  We'll never know now.
 
One question that stumps nearly everyone (including me - but you'll understand in a moment) is 'which guest at AI2005 has been a guest at the most AnimeIowas?  Everyone else (including me) fingers Greg, who is here on his third guest appearance in a row.  He, however, has a different - and the correct - answer: Bob DeJesus, who's not present right now (which is what threw *me*), but who we are told has guested at six out of nine AnimeIowas.
 
Actually, Greg's answer includes a sketch of a toilet, and the legend "Look Deep into the Bowl" for the answer.  Apparantly, Mr. DeJesus has a webcomic featuring a hero who is (shades of South Park!) a real piece of shit.  But I'm just taking Greg's word for this.
 
Bamboo delivers the next question: "What color of panties are you wearing?"
 
You have got to be kidding.
 
Oh, she is, actually.  Funny, Bamboo.  For what it's worth, she winds up giving Greg his third strike, and by golly he takes defeat well: "Now I can go eat!"  Unfortunately, it's not that simple - he winds up having to stay for the end of the game.
 
Still, with fewer contestants (and more questioners willing to single out more than one victim) the game's speed picks up.  Evan has a little trouble giving Trisha a strike - her top has straps too small to affix the Post-it note to them, and he won't *consider* just slapping it on her chest... he eventually hands it to her to put on herself, as I recall.  And I should mention that not only do our panellists not know much about their anime, they don't know much about overhead projectors, either, as they place their answers onscreen backwards, upside-down, or a combination of both - but virtually never right-side up the first time.  It gets to be as much of a running gag as the potty humor vein that Greg has tapped.
 
Johnny Yong Bosch wins almost by default, as he's simply not asked as many questions as the others.  For his prize, Evan presents him with "this lovely portrait of Alexander Hamilton:" yes, a ten-spot.
 
***
 
Back at the room, we have maybe about a half-hour before the opening ceremonies, and we're getting as hungry as Greg Ayres.  So what do we do for dinner?
 
Believe it or not, it's Anime Detour to the rescue, yet again.  It's a different pair this time, a couple, we suspect.  They've ordered Chinese, and now that it's arrived, they're realizing that it's WAY too much food (They're also remembering that they made this same mistake last year - heck, they may have placed the exact same order of Sweet & Sour Chicken and Chicken with Broccoli last year, too), and their room, unlike ours, has no refrigerator.  Would we be able to help them consume the stuff?
 
Would we?  Sure thing, and we even offer a few bucks (over mild protests - my own 'lovely portrait' of ol' Alex is turned down for a slightly grubbier Abe Lincoln) to help cover costs.
Only trouble is that we're still barely finishing our meal by seven, when the opening ceremonies are scheduled to start.  I hate to eat and run, but I also hate to miss stuff like this.  Meanwhile, Konatsu doesn't want to miss entering the first of the hall cosplay contests (Friday's runs from six to eight, and with our luck, by the time opening ceremonies would end, so would the chance to enter) so I sit around and fume a bit as my kunoichi changes... only to cause a delay of my own by leaving my badge behind in the room.
 
They're taking pictures as part of the hall cosplay, and doing interviews, too.  One of the judges turns out to be Gerald, who I worked with as a judge myself several AIs back.  He's seen Serial Experiments Lain (unlike the other judge at the table) and actually seems quite impressed with the costume - and with the additional functionality that Konatsu has brought to it by using velcro on the legs.  Well, maybe we have a chance.
 
On the other hand, we have *no* chance of making the opening ceremonies in time, regardless of what we know about convention time.  They've already got Naruto and company performing public service announcement skits on how to behave (and how NOT to behave) at a convention:  "A poorly aimed glomp can be painful - in more ways than one," which I'll leave to your imagination, as well as the right and wrong way to shower - spray deodorant (or is it cologne?) simply doesn't cut it.  Even after the ninjas leave the stage, MC-for-life Charles Piehl waves his hand as he walks through the invisible cloud still lingering onstage.  Whatever he was using, that stuff's nasty.
 
***
 
As agreed upon, I am in the room as Anime Detour sets up and starts everything rolling; mostly anime music videos, and a fair number of them reasonably familiar.  Granted, my collection tends toward the comic, so the more serious and dramatic ones are not familiar, but at the same time, they aren't as interesting, frankly.  That's how my tastes run, for good or ill.
Konatsu gets my attention from the door at 8:30 or so.  Apparantly, they're doing a practice hand at the moment, but the tournament is about to start.  Do I want in?  
 
Well, why not...
 
The game room is pretty lively and crowded, now with four or five video games going on simultaneously and a fair number of rubberneckers on some of them, too.  It's kind of had to concentrate; although that may be the idea.
 
Basically, the winner of each hand has to be the judge for the next, matching the other players' nouns (the red apples) with the adjective he's drawn (the green apple), thus avoiding repeat wins.  The anime version only substitutes for the red apples, as there are plenty of characters, genres, objects, and stereotypes to serve for hands for everyone.  I acquit myself well, winning three hands before one of the other eight players gathers the five trumps necessary to win the game.
 
But for the prize tournament, two players insist that they will walk if we continue to use the anime cards, so we go back to the normal deck (at which point, I'm considering walking myself - the prize is a box of A2A cards, which we already have, and because of that, *this* version we could play at home).  I don't know if that attitude affects our play, but I only manage to win one hand, while Konatsu is completely shut out.  Of course, there's also the luck of the draw... or in this case, the bad luck.
 
Still, I find myself judging what turns out to be the deciding hand, and one player tosses a card into the mix that he *knows* is going to lose.  Since I go through all the cards as I judge, laying them down with explanations as to why they do or don't go with the green apple presented, all he says is that "I just want to hear what you'll say when you dispose of it."
I try not to disappoint, but I forget which card it was: I think it was "Barney" as "misunderstood."  Come on, who *wants* to understand him?
 
***
 
For whatever reason, we don't go straight back to the room.  Maybe it's just the fact that it's on the way from the game room to either the elevators or the stairs, but we find ourselves in the consuite, talking with a fellow who's really into science fiction, and while he bemoans the fact that humor is sorely lacking in the genre, there are a few authors to pay attention to.  Specifically, he mentions Eric Flynn's _1632_, _1633_ and _1634_, and a story by one Connie Willis about a time machine that the British are using purely for historical research purposes only (which seems a bit odd, given the British contribution to time travel fiction out there).  He also mentions a series entitled _Surfing_Samurai_Robots_ (I hope I got that right), which combines sci-fi with the hard-boiled detective genre (aliens are just getting a hold of our golden-age radio broadcasts, including the likes of the Shadow and Sam Spade, and some young alien hops a flying saucer and hightails it to earth to
 find out what it would be like to walk the same ground as his sleuthing heroes)
 
Somewhere along the line, the topic veers toward comic series, and the fellow praises one called _Girl_Genius_, as well as a hentai title by one Phil Folio called _Xxxenophile_.  This series is remarkable insofar as the sex is generally among happily married (or soon-to-be happily married - call them 'monogamous,' perhaps?) couples, and quite clearly perfectly consensual.  This, I gotta look into... he points us in the direction of airshipbooks.com.
On a slightly less savory note, he also mentions a series called _Pervert_Club_.  Malcom Davis is an ordinary high-school nerd, who gets caught somewhere along the line (for whatever reason) sniffing his sister's panties.  Asking her not to tell anyone merely guarantees that the news will spread, and in no time flat, Malcolm is the ultimate pariah (although his plain-Jane girlfriend apparantly sticks with him in spite of all this).  However, he does manage to turn the ridicule on its head by simply embracing the exaggerated assumptions, and our conversationalist describes the ensuing mayhem as "12 volumes of pure fun."  Well... I dunno if it's *my* cuppa, but it's probably fun for SOMEone...
 
Somewhere along the line, the conversation turns toward the topic that's been on everyone's mind for the past couple of weeks (or in my case, the past couple of days): Hurricane Katrina.  Our conversationalist notes that news crews have started interviewing anyone who is even remotely connected to the events in New Orleans, including folks who merely have relatives down there.  He cites it as tracking with the fifth stage of scientific discovery, and how both Katrina and 9/11 followed this pattern.
 
Now, I'm not familiar with the concept, so I ask him to elaborate.  The stages, apparantly, go something like this (and even he admits they may not be accurate, or in the proper order): Exclamation, Consternation (presumably on the order of "what are we gonna do with *this*?"), Disillusionment, Assignation of Blame, Punishment of the Innocent, Elevation of the Uninvolved, and finally, Burying the Bodies and Scattering the Ashes.
 
To tell you the truth, it sounds more like the Kubler-Ross stages of accepting impending death.
 
***
 
About this time, Evan shows up in the consuite, asking the assembled crowd to respond to the phrase "Manamana."
 
And all God's chillun say: "Doo DOOO doo doo-doo."
 
"Manamana!"
 
"Doo doo-doo doo."
 
And so forth.  After polishing off a verse of this nonsense, he breaks into a grin and announces "I love everyone in this room," and returns to his business.
 
At about this point Konatsu returns (you were gone, sugar?  Damn those ninja skillz) to inform me that the anime-related Apples to Apples cards should be available for download from the AnimeIowa forum.  So now that's two websites we'll have to hit as son as we get home or thereabouts.
 
***
 
As it so happens, the conversationalist has a few manga and AMVs on CD that he's willing to trade with us for a few of our files, so we head back to our room, where the Detour guys are still cranking out AMVs.  That's pretty much where we stay until nearly 3 a.m., leaving me to wonder whether we're gonna be able to make breakfast tomorrow - the sponsors have a brunch with the guests of honor until about eleven, but we stay up much later and we'll be hard-pressed to even make *that*.
 
It isn't until the last of the Detour guys switches off their computer and projector and heads off to bed across the hall, that we realize that they've left not only their electronic equipment (which admittedly, would be a hassle to take apart at such a late hour, especially if they intend to set up and use it again tomorrow night - or would that be tonight, at this point?) but their cooler full of 2-liter soft drinks is still sitting in our kitchenette.  Then again, we've got the room to hold it all; maybe they figured we wouldn't mess with it.  For that matter, neither their cooler nor our supply of beverages was much tapped this evening - no one wanted to move while the show was still going on, apparantly.
 
Maybe tomorrow.  We'd really rather not have to cart ALL this hooch back home with us; but it did feel kinda funny to be the only one drinking this evening.
 
***
 
Oh, one odd thing late this evening; a guy sticks his head into the room while we're still going (maybe not going strong, but there's still a handful of folks other than us and the AD guys) and asks for all of us to cheer like mad tomorrow at the cosplay when he and his crew come on.  "We need to get back to the old school way of cosplay," is how he puts it, more or less.
I don't know from 'old school,' and it rubs me the wrong way when this guy insists that his costume has to win to preserve (or restore) the 'old school' style of cosplay, whatever the hell that means.  It also sticks in my craw that he thinks that applause is necessarily gonna sway the judges.  I should know - and I warn him of it.  He doesn't seem convinced that a) judges base their decisions on actual merit, or b) that his costume has sufficient merit to win.  He does mention what it is - a Transformer car that actually converts into its robot form.  Hey, if it works, I assure him, he'll have sufficient merit to pull *some* kind of award.
 
But he still wants the applause.  Well, who doesn't?  But this kind of naked campaigning seems completely out of place, and as far as I'm concerned, counterproductive: I'm certainly withholding any judgement on this thing until I see it.
 
And I still don't know what he means by 'old school' cosplay.
 
*** SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 10
 
Since we actually want to make it to this morning's brunch (I have a few questions for some of the voice actors in particular, if I get the chance), we set the alarm for 8:30.  It turns out to be unneccesary, as I am awake (so much for being so totally relaxed as all that) by 8:20.  This turns out to be a good thing, as fifteen minutes pass by with nary a peep from the alarm clock; the alarm is actually set for 8:30 *P.M.*
 
Oh, well.  We pull ourselves together, and proceed down to brunch.  Of the guests, TokyoPop artist Felipe Smith and Manga Entertainment's Keith Burgess are there, but that's it - and their table is full.  Still, it's not as if we don't have interesting company; specifically, one Shawn King, the creator of AnimeIowa's new mascot, a cute little pig (well, it's the sort of thing you'd find on an Iowa farm, now, innit?) named Buu-chan (what else?).  
 
We comment on how the runner-up characters (both cute girls, which may make a difference) came with complete biographies, including likes, dislikes, personality traits, favorite hobbies, and whatnot.  Buu-chan's bio, in contrast, lists only his name.  Shawn grins somewhat sheepishly "I'm an artist, not a writer."  And indeed, the Buu-chan entry sketch has him in at least six or seven different poses and costumes suiting various aspects of a convention - really, he understands the writer's dictum to 'show, don't tell' better than his rivals.  We do have to ask him whether he submitted ALL the poses shown when he first entered Buu-chan as a mascot candidate; the six or seven shown were in fact original with the entry, but he had to make several additional poses and costumes to fit certain additional aspects of the convention he hadn't considered with his original submission.  I will say that such a simple character lends itself to a lot of variety.  
 
He mentions the Naruto commission that he originally drew with the headband emblem upside-down.  Not wanting to 'catch hell from Naruto fans,' he immediately fixed the drawing and resubmitted it to the AnimeIowa staff; unfortunately, he's already spotted at least one place using the version with the upside-down emblem (on the other hand, there are other places with the corrected drawing, so it hasn't been a complete washout).  He's most proud of the commission for the consuite, requesting congoers to clean up after themselves; what better example of how NOT to behave than a pig acting perfectly naturally?
 
***
 
While we don't manage to chat up any guests at brunch, we actually have a fair amount of luck as we grab the elevators back to our room.  Actually, we  find ourselves going a floor *past* our room - it would seen the guests of honor have their rooms exclusively on the fifth floor, as we join Zarah Little on her way to freshen up.  We almost don't recognize her, as she's a tiny girl who can make herself quite inconspicuous (unlike, say, Greg Ayres) - it's the voice that gives her away.  As a fan of _Haibane_Renmei_, I have to ask how she managed to get through her lines and scenes without breaking down, especially in the sixth episode.  While she doesn't quite answer the question (how *do* you answer a question like that, really?), she does admit that _Haibane_Renmei_ was the hardest series for her to do because of the emotional impact it had throughout the show - and perhaps because of it, it happens to be *her* favorite of the series she has done.  She adds that, oddly enough, it
 wasn't the most emotionally affecting scene she's ever done - a scene for _Angel_Tail_ had her playing a parakeet having a nervous breakdown in a stuck elevator that actually had her sobbing in the booth - and at the same time, on the verge of laughter at the absurdity of her own profound sorrow.
 
While she loves the understated nature of _Haibane_Renmei_, she expresses some dismay at the lack of merchandising for the series.  The box sets imported from Japan actually included charcoal colored feathers in them, and while director Talesin Jaffe (who also played the part of the used-clothing store owner) got his hands on one of these, she complains about not having one for her own.  Konatsu mentions the shirts available in the dealers' room with several shots from the series, and she reacts with (to put it mildly) some interest.  We bid her luck in finding a suitable size - although, the dealer mentioned when we purchased our shirts that the larger sizes go much faster.  Assuming he *has* a small or two, Zarah should be in decent shape to find what she needs.
 
Just as she departs for her room, we are joined by Johnny Yong Bosch.  Whaddya know... this takes care of the other question I wanted to ask, about Vash the Stampede, and a question of subtext.  A number of years ago, Rachel (Utena Tenjou) Lillis spoke of auditioning for the role of Anthy Himemiya as well as Utena, and not being told much more about the character save that she was 'an earth-mother type.'  Now, it stands to reason that the character of Utena Tenjou (and by extension, the actress playing her) would be best suited to remain in the dark about Anthy's true nature.  However, a character like Vash the Stampede is carrying around tons of emotional baggage right from the start.  The question is, did Johnny know about Vash's tragic history as he began working on making the character his?
 
The answer is... no, not really.  Basically, he was given about four episodes at a time to watch and review before going on into the studio, but the first four episodes really don't give one a lot of insight into Vash and who he is and what makes him tick.  He does seem to go cuckoo every half-hour or so, but that's all we know.  And apparantly, that's all Johnny knew at first.  Still, maybe it would have spoiled him from playing the happy-go-lucky clown of the first few episodes if he knew about the full measure of guilt that plagues Vash throughout the series.
As we part company, we express regret that he had been unable to attend the brunch this morning. 
 
"There was a brunch this morning?"
 
Oops.  Actually, we got a similar reaction from Zarah, earlier (and she added that Trisha would be disappointed to find out she missed it, too).  We discover later that some guests were either informed or came to the conclusion that the brunch was on Sunday, not Saturday.  Well, I'm sure the convention is providing them meals either way; still, it's a bit surprising to see a mixup of this level.
 
Although speaking of meals, we do invite both Zarah and Johnny to join us in the consuite for okonomi-yaki this afternoon.
 
***
 
Back to the room to get our stuff together, and one of the Detour guys is here, wondering what's up.  He's not one of the ones involved with setting up the projection equipment, so he can't switch on the computer and fire everything up.  I can't help but notice his shirt, displaying a scene from a movie entitled "Suicide Club": "All right, everybody... on three, okay?"  Having gotten into "Battle Royale" (both the novel and the movie) all thanks to D.B. Sommer (thanks bunches, by the way), I have to ask about this one.  And it appears to be in a similar vein, although oddly enough - and the guy frets breifly about spoiling the end for us - apparantly the *reason* these mass teen suicides occur is never figured out by the investigating officers.  I may be reading in between the lines, but I suspect there might be a "Citizen Kane"esque ending in which the officers dispose of what would be the solution to the puzzle, but our guest is not telling at the moment.
 
If anyone knows where we can get our hands on this movie, by the way, please let us know.
TJ, one of the leaders of the Anime Detour contingent, joins us at this point, and while we invite him to set things up for tonight, he offers to help us get the cooler and other stuff down to the consuite first.  Such a sweetheart.  Thanks to him, everything gets down there in one trip.
And as it turns out, several hours before we're anticipated: the woman running the consuite says that we weren't expected to *start* until three.  Au contraire, if we haven't packed enough, that's when we might *end*.  Ideally, we like to start at noon, but we're usually too disorganised to settle for anything better than one p.m.
 
This time around, we apparantly *can't* start until *at*least* one p.m., or until the ramen boxes that have been set out have been exhausted.  For all I talk about this being a tradition here at AnimeIowa, it would seem that it's still never quite expected of us.  Maybe some year we *won't* bother, and just enjoy ourselves a little more.
 
But this is not the time for that sort of thing.  We're prepared, more or less, right down to the bonito flakes and donation card.  This is for the folks already lining up - even if a lot of them still aren't familiar with what okonomi-yaki is and how it tastes.  I'm proud to say that no one ever seems to voice any distate for the stuff (even when I accidentally mix up orders for regular or spicy sauce toppings).
 
We have enough batter to eventually serve about 115 people, which is only slightly more than last year, but enough to keep us serving until about 5 o'clock.  Which is not particularly good, as this is when the fanfiction panel is scheduled to start.  Yes, folks, AnimeIowa has done the same thing to the fanfiction panel as AnimeCentral did earlier this year: scheduled it to run right up to the time the cosplay goes on.  At least as sponsors, we needn't miss the cosplay here.  But as unofficial volunteers, we need to clear up our mess - actually, we still need to finish serving folks, for that matter.
 
What to do?  Well, at the risk of disappointing what few readers I may have on the FFML, I elect to ditch the fanfiction panel.  To be honest, the AI panel has had its good years and bad - some of you may still remember the 'Queens of Orochi' from either '02 or '03, for the latter example.  It doesn't help that the fanfiction writers I have known from AIs past are no longer with us - G.L. Sandborn and Mark Engel being the latest to strike from the attendance list.  I believe I have come across the woman in charge of MediaMiner.org over the weekend, but if she is running it, there may well be a fair amount of overlap from her contribution to last year's panel.  There are only so many things I can do at one time, only so many places I can be - and I'm needed here, making sure the crowd is reasonably well-fed and that everything is cleaned up...
 
...and maybe we can rest up a bit before the cosplay, too.
 
Oh, for anyone who's interested, we managed to raise $33.73 in donations.  That may not sound like much (and considering what *I* was afraid the Ucchan might wind up anteing up, it isn't), but do keep in mind that it ends up being $67.46 to Samaritan's Purse, once we hold up our end of the advert, and every little bit helps.  It *is*, by the way, a considerable improvement over the tip jar one guy insisted on setting up for us a couple years back that netted us some nine bucks, but this *is* a more worthy cause than our own pockets, after all.
 
***
 
When I speak of going back to the room and resting, I should point out that I don't mean the sort of rest like actually napping or some such - if nothing else, we simply couldn't do that, what with the Detour crowd having gotten everything already set up and ready to roll.  It's just that we can stop and unwind, without having to be anywhere for at least the next half hour or so.
 
Some of you who've followed me as I go back and forth between the two conventions that bookend the summer convention season know about my fondness for anime fan parodies.  At this morning's brunch, in fact, the topic came up; for whatever reason, AnimeIowa has no parodies that it's showing in any of the video rooms this year.  There's a reason for this: apparantly, someone stole AI's collection last year. 
 
I really hope Andrew Hosking reads that last line.  The fact of the matter is that, in his efforts to restrict the distribution of his parodies (under the assertion that parodies are best watched at conventions, among a large group of otaku), he had created such a scarcity that people are willing to steal what few copies there are extant out there, such that - ironically enough - one *less* convention is able to show them.  Andrew, please... if distribution is too much trouble for you, I'm sure that there are plenty of folks who'd be more than willing to help you (and fandom in general) out.
 
That said, I'm trying to prevail upon Kevin (who's basically the one running Anime Detour's projection equipment) to show a few parodies tonight as well as anime music videos.  AMVs are all good and well, to be sure - and they're terrific for those with a short attention span - but why constantly replay a few of the classics?  Throw a *little* variety into the mix - and I'm discovering that even these convention veterans aren't familiar with some of the classic fan parodies like Neon Genesis South Park, or Fast Food Freedom Fighters, or any of C-ko's stuff... I offer him my copies to burn onto their 180Gb hard drive - they've got the room, after all - and he and the others cheerfully accept.  No guarantees about what they'll show tonight, though, but it's a start.
 
I should point out that these guys are putting this all together right now... less than a half-hour before the cosplay.  I hardly need to point out that they're not going.  As difficult as it is for me to relate to this (then again, haven't I just committed a heresy of my own by skipping the fanfic panel?), it's just not their thing.  That, and the fact that if you're gonna have a room party starting right after the cosplay, you *really* ought to be ready for people *before* they actually arrive - which means making preparations *during* the cosplay. 
 
Of course, you don't want to make *too* many preparations *too* soon.  Kevin calls a local pizza place (we try to get him to call Papa John's - an old favorite of ours that for whatever reason no longer exists in the Northwest suburbs - but there aren't any near the hotel either) and attempts to order ten pies for delivery.  TJ prevails upon him to cut that order in half - better to run short and have to order more than to have way too much and not know *what* to do with it all - but there's still the fact that the cosplay won't *start* for another half-hour, let alone when it'll *finish*.  By the time people start showing up, the stuff will have gone cold.  Eventually, Kevin tells the girl on the phone not to rush with the order, but to get it here in the next couple hours.
 
The issue of payment is a thorny one for a moment.  Since we *know* we'll be partaking of this repast, we offer to pay for part of the order.  We are turned down flat, believe it or not.  The way the guys see this, the party and all the expenses going into it are all promotional expenses for Anime Detour.  Even the equipment belongs, not to a person, but to the convention.  Makes me wonder how this is all accounted for, and kind of glad that I don't have to concern myself with such matters.  Frankly, I'd be worried about how some taxing authority would look upon such choices.
 
As it is, though, I don't voice any objections to the idea of free food... well, not until I'm writing this here and now.
 
***
 
When we arrive downstairs for the cosplay, the second floor mezzanine area is all but deserted, save of course for the other sponsors waiting to get in. At least we're not too late.  I am told - though I never see them - that the hoi polloi are massing downstairs in the lobby.  I'm trying to picture this, as the lobby of the Hotel Fort Des Moines isn't exactly conducive to long lines.
 
It may just be our personal opinion, but since we consider guaranteed entry (and front-row seats) one of the best perks of sponsorship, we consider the pre-entry crowd a pretty good gauge of the success of AnimeIowa's sponsorship program.  Based on this measurement, I'd say AI's doing pretty well.  The crowd's a lot larger than it was last year, filling up nearly three whole rows.  This has got to amount to nearly five thousand dollars in membership fees sitting right here.  Of course, the row in the very front is reserved in part for the guests, but it's not always easy to see where the sponsors end and the guests begin.
 
One clue, though - if the person is in costume, it's a pretty good bet they're not a guest.  I just hope they don't get asked to move - that would be embarrasing for all concerned, frankly.  It doesn't help that the pair in front of us (kitted out in Full Metal Alchemist gear) seem to be getting a bit bored: they get up from their seats, and the guy pretends to strangle the girl.  Don't know if they're acting out a scene from the show, but still...
 
***
 
Finally, the rest of the crowd starts filing in (in keeping with the traditional concept of 'con time,' it's about a quarter to eight - I wonder if the pizza's arrived for the Anime Detour crowd) and the lights dim... to the point of going out for a moment.  Okay, now the lights come up onstage...
 
To reveal Charles Piehl, MC-for-life, The Man in The Tux, warning each and every one of us that we will not be able to make 'them' (co-workers, classmates, et cetera) understand come Monday morning.  In particular, he mentions a Pikachu in chocolate sauce with a shudder and very little further information.  Make 'them' understand?  Hell, *I* don't get *this* particular reference.  The mental images this conjures up are along the lines of a Little Caesar's parody I've seen some years back, with the pizza chain spokesman holding his trademark pike, but with a Pikuchu impaled on it rather than a pizza - and naturally, he utters a twist on his own catchphrase: "Pika, pika!"  Somehow, Charles' reaction suggests that there's more to this episode than that.  But he ain't talking about it right now.
 
Rather, he introduces our judges, all four of them, but only one who's name I manage to write down: Theresa Dietzmeyer, clad in an elaborate Chinese gown and coiffed in blond ringlets that Juri Arisugawa might just envy.  "That's her work uniform," Charles grins.
 
Before we crack on with the contestants, though, there are a few announcements for everyone - and really, what better time, given that this is the largest single audience of the convention?  Top on the list is the questionnaire: the convention can't improve if we don't tell 'em what we like, what we don't like, et cetera.
 
And since most of the guests weren't at the opening ceremonies (ah, so THAT's why it was all over so quickly!) - apparantly due to most of them being at dinner at the time - Charles wants to make it clear that they aren't going to escape humiliation.  Thing is, most of them aren't here at the cosplay, either (and honestly, I thought most of them did a pretty good job of humiliating themselves at Hexagon, once it got started - of course, there weren't THAT many people there to watch 'em do that), and of those that are, some actually *were* at the opening, so they've had their recommended weekly allowance of Charles.  Bamboo Dong, in particular, turns the tables on Charles by walking onstage and handing him a well-polished apple.
 
It may be an act, or he may be genuinely nonplussed for a moment.  "We'll talk later," he tells her.
 
Konatsu gets in the act when Johnny Yong Bosch is introduced, waving a light stick that spins to reveal the phrase (all together, now:) LOVE AND PEACE.  Not that Johnny doesn't yell it out to the crowd himself, but 'Natsu-chan does beat him to the punch.
 
"Oh, hey... we also have some guys in costumes..."
 
***
 
First off are Edward Elric (I suspect we'll see several of him this evening - what is it about blond guys in red coats that gets everyone wanting to be them?) and... Alphonse?  They take a well-earned bow - it's a very nice job on the metal homunculus.  "Don't get stuck in an elevator with *this* guy," Charles intones.
 
Princess Sakura has been having strange dreams lately... she seems to think she's a disco queen.  At least it nips the chorus of "Dance! Dance!" in the bud (not that it's a common chant here at AI in any case).  But the audience still gets to participate by clapping along with the music.
 
We get another Princess up next, and Konatsu and I nearly fall out of our chairs; it's Princess Sapphire, the Princess Knight herself, complete with puffy sleeves and jet black spit curls.  Just beautiful.
 
Ken, Ryu and Kinnosuke do a few steps and lip-synch to 'Party Over Here;' I think it's rap...
The next entrant is introduced as Doctor Migenis... but it's a bunny!  Charles shrugs; he's not familiar with the anime, either: "I have no idea, but he's as cute as a Puuchu."
 
Will the real Vash please stand up?  No, Johnny, that's just the name of the sketch.  Several anime characters try to bring Vash in (the running joke is "Do you know how much gas I can buy with 60 billion double dollars?").  Ironically enough, the only one I remember is Chichiri, partly because he never says 'no da,' and partly because he forgets his lines entirely at one point.  By the way, the guy dressed as Vash insists he's *not* Vash, he's just on his way to the cosplay.  The others aren't buying it: "Right, and I'm Stripper Vash."  "You are?"  Exuent, running and being chased.
 
Another one to stump Charles: The Merchant, from...?  He doesn't know that either.  The guy looks more like a wizard than a merchant, too.
 
The next act has a girl complaining to her fellow characters about the lack of girls in their band.  Well, it is a *boy* band, after all.  On the other hand, this isn't a series known for its music, apparantly, as the guys refer to themselves as "Boyz 2 Ninjaz."  Must be Naruto and company, although I don't recognize the title character amongst them.
 
I don't know the anime for the next pair - they refer to themselves as the Immortal Forces, Good and Evil - but they are, without question, impressively dressed.
 
Equally impressive is the Lady Kiku, a cross between the cape and boots of a swashbuckling heroine and the leather laceup and bare midriff of the goddess Peorth.
 
As predicted before, Edward Elric makes another appearance: "Just because we need another," smiles Charles.
 
The next act Charles bills as 'fashion trends for the ninja on the go,' which must not be quite right, as said ninja gives him the serious evil eye as he crosses the stage.  Of course, that may all be part of the act.
 
Squall from Final Fantasy comes out, to some guy in the audience shouting "I wanna have your children!"  Konatsu and I look at each other, each of us reminded of Hawkeye Pierce: "You're right, Radar... this man knows *nothing* about anatomy."
 
Shuuichi and Ryuichi from Gravitation crouch on the stage floor, coloring.  It's a slow sketch (you'll forgive the pun, under the circumstances), but little Shuuichi eventually produces a couple of credible drawings, one of a banana, and the next of Ryuichi - no Freudian symbolism here, oh no - only to have Ryuichi upstage him by finally producing... a replica of Van Gogh's "Starry Night."
 
The next fellow is introduced as Allen (? something-or-other) from Escaflowne.  Unfortunately, thanks to Studio Sokodei, I can't picture him as anything other than Head N. Shoulders, so I may have bollixed up the real character's name.  Turns out, we must have met this guy before, out of costume, as he bursts into "I Feel Pretty."  Granted, he's lip synching, so he doesn't finish the line with "very, very gay" this time around.
 
Izumi, Ed, Envy... and prop?  Yes, it's a guy 'dressed' as a screen.  Envy crosses behind the screen, and turns into Ed.
 
Speaking of quick changes... yes, Virginia (okay, Iowa), there is a Stripper Vash, and he's onstage right now!  Unfortunately, due to this being a 'family con' (everyone always says that, but you always get the impression that it's said with tongue in cheek more often than not), he can't actually get down to his bare chest like he did in a previous year.  So he does the next best thing: with a cry of "It's Morphin' Time!" he rips off his red cloak to reveal himself... as the Black Power Ranger.  No one laughs harder than Johnny Yong Bosch at the inside joke (yeah, that's what he was before he became the VA for Vash).
 
Charles calls backstage as to whether there are any *more* weirdos he has to deal with.  And the next pair are relatively sane; Muki and Mayoro peer out at the audience, and one is dismayed to realize that (as the other explains), since ADV hasn't released their video yet, the audience doesn't know who they are.  Well, it works for me, although my notes don't indicate whether they even *mentioned* the name of their show in case anyone wants to look them up.
 
Why the next guy, a solo act, is introduced as "the Black Waltz Three" is beyond me.  Nice black wings, though.
 
Ah, here's our friend from the registration booth, done up as Haruka, from Kimi ga Nozumi Eien.  I have to admit, he does pull it all off surprisingly well, if you don't focus on his shoulders.  In fact, I think he has to actually *speak* to prove his gender to most of the audience.  And speak he does: "It's nine o'clock; do you know where your anime is?"  The line is pretty much meaningless, but the voice it's said in gets a big reaction.  Charles is unflappable in the face of this: "Those of you wondering why I didn't warn you... why should I?"  Indeed.
 
Sasuke, from Naruto, does a walk across the stage, followed by a girl dressed as Sun Mya.  Don't know the character or the series, but it never ceases to amaze me how one has the cold blooded nerve to cross the stage wearing little more than a loincloth (especially given how well the A/C works in here).  Takes almost as much courage as for a guy to go in drag, if you ask me.
 
Princess Mononoke doesn't so much do a walk-on as a charge-across, while the next act features a slap fight between ninjas and pirates, with Buggy the Clown coming out more or less on top.  After watching this chaos take itself offstage, Charles turns to the audience: "How many of you think I know what's gonna happen when these groups come onstage?"
 
And now, for something completely different... Edward Elric.  Actually, this one *is* different, with an amazingly detailed mechanical arm that actually moves - or maybe it's armor, but it looks so *real*.  We discover later that it's fanfic author and veteran cosplayer Anna Johnson, so we shouldn't be all that surprised at the craft she displays.
 
I don't have a clue about the White Mage and Pete (Pete?  Could *I* possibly have gotten that right?  We're sitting less than ten feet from the podium, for gosh sakes, how could I get that wrong?), and I'm not familiar with Soul Caliber's Tira, either.  But her ring weapon is an impressive prop, and she knows it, as she strikes several poses with it.
 
And now, in commemoration of her 30th anniversary, it's... Hello Kitty as Sailor Moon!  Yes, it's a seven-foot tall ambulatory Hello Kitty, suitable as a mascot at some HK theme park, but 'she's' also decked out in the full Sailor Moon outfit, complete with odangos and blonde ponytails extending from them.  'She' strikes a few 'in the name of the moon' poses - although, in true Hello Kitty fashion, 'she' doesn't say a word.
 
Charles can only gawp at the spectacle that has just gone through, until one of the backstage crew (who's in an evening gown in preparation for the possibility of having to come onstage) brings him an emergency can of Anime Insulin (ah-hah... AI... I get it).  He pops the tab, and takes a BIG swig before continuing.
 
Hotohori and Nuriko from Fushigi Yuugi take their turn on the stage, followed by a skit with Maes Hughes, Roy Mustang and, you guessed it, Edward Elric.  This one involves Roy distributing pictures to the judges and to Charles... not sure why...
 
The next four names mean nothing to me, although one, Prinny, stands out simply because he turns out to be a penguin.  The gist of the sketch is that one pair finds the other's (dropped) box of Cheez-Its, and claims it under the 'finders, keepers' rule (as Prinny's companion points out, it does say 'get your own box' on the back).  They decide to duel for the box; by means of a DDR competition.  Prinny's companion doesn't take well to losing: she fires a bra (or maybe it's panties?) past the winners and escapes with the Cheez-Its.
 
It's at this point that we pause for a public service announcement regarding DDR and other video and role-playing games.  While Charles acknowledges that such games are fun and enertaining, they are also highly dangerous and addictive.  AI is working on a recovery program for those looking to break free of such an addition, and hope to release it to the public... as soon as they can pare the program down to twelve steps.
 
Dai-ichi and Step must be part of a J-pop group... well, at least one is, as he's wielding a guitar.  The other has a sword, so I'm not altogether sure.  They are followed by Sakuyama, who enters with a cry of "Matrix Evolution!", while Nanano is an amazing costume for a guy.
I can't tell MKR's Tarta and Tatra apart, but I get the jist of it: one of them is reluctant to come out onstage and dance.  But once out there and into it, she's equally reluctant to quit and leave.  Kinda reminds me of Dan-chan.
 
Chun Li and Ryu come out to do what they do best: fight.  Although Ryu's style is a bit... unorthodox.  To take her offguard, he *kisses* her.  Which almost works, except for the fact that she doesn't feel the same way about him, apparantly... and knees him in the groin.  Chun Li wins.
 
Finally, we have Sideswipe, the Transformer.  Yeah, the guy who was campaigning for applause last night.  Turns out he hardly needed to campaign; the car actually rolls out onto the stage (with a little help from a couple'a buddies - it's not motorized, after all), and the friends help him stand up, fix the three sections of th costume around, and voila!  He's a giant robot!  Even Charles is impressed: "If anyone is ever tempted to say 'Now I've seen everything...' Never say that."
 
***
 
As the judges are spirited off to their traditional 'undisclosed location' (and no, it isn't as if I know where that is, nor would I say if I did) to deliberate over the winners, we get to see a few things that have been named winners already.  First off are the music videos; the winner is a rare KaleidoStar video, but Konatsu and I are more smitten with the third-place winner, based on (of course) KareKano.  Yes, we're suckers for the romantic stuff, so sue us.
 
There are other winners to announce; after all, the hall cosplay entries have been judged seperately.  After a moment of uncertainty about where the edge of the stage is (Charles calls out: "You kill me, you have to take my place onstage here."  It's as good as an insurance policy), Friday's winners are called onstage.  A girl from Resident Evil takes second, while the winner takes the honor for 'Dominique;' I don't know what series it's from, but right now, she's dressed like the hyena boy from Jungle wa Itsumo Hale Nochi Guu.
 
It's kind of disappointing, since this means that the bear pajamas didn't make sufficient impact on the judges, after all.  Not that Konatsu really expected to win, necessarily, but it would have been nice to have gotten some sort of accolades.
 
Saturday morning's winners include another fellow dressed as Allen from Escaflowne and a girl as Sakura Kinamoto.  A pair of otherwise identical twins dressed as a ghostly and normal version of the same character (?) from Bleach take second place for Saturday afternoon, and only a Chii dressed in her Tyrol bakery outfit can surpass them.
 
We are reminded of the final hall cosplay to take place sunday morning; Konatsu does also have Lain's outfit from the opening credits (pity we can't suspend the cap in midair for the photo) that needs to be entered.  Granted, if the bear costume isn't gonna make a dent, how much less likely is that outfit?  But at the same time, it'd be foolish *not* to try.
 
Better luck to be had in the children's cosplay this afternoon: turns out, there were only two entrants.  Seems like segregating the kids didn't work all that well - sure, the cosplay runs long and late, and there is the occasional PG-13 line here and there, but all in all, it's generally family-friendly.  No need to pull a Jim Crow just 'cause the kid's under ten.
 
But hey, that's just my opinion.  And besides, Dan-chan's already more of a night owl than I'll ever be.
 
***
 
A few 'credits where credits are due' announcements by Charles, as he applauds the rest of the AnimeIowa staff and volunteers: "We haven't lost a cosplayer yet."  The names, I confess, go by too fast to write down, save for one who goes by the name of "Ninja Bill" Evans: Charles wonders if that is the name on his driver's license.
 
Before we proceed with the judges' results (anyway, they're not back yet), we have a staffer (at least I think it's a staffer - who else would want to be onstage as a non-competing cosplayer, after all?) dressed up as a Moogle who wants to show off a little.  It's not quite Hello Sailor Kitty, but it's big and fluffy and cute, no question.
 
Finally, a pair come onstage to plug their own convention, to be held over next Memorial Day weekend.  It's called Costume Con, and while I may not have heard of them 'til this weekend, their flyer on their room door (yes, they're on the party floor, too) suggests they've been doing their thing for over twenty years, so they must be doing *something* right.  Besides advertising, they also wish to present awards (and free tickets to Costume Con 26) to two 'Rising Stars' of cosplay, including Lady Kika, and Sideswipe.  I find it vaguely ironic that a guy claiming to be 'old school' cosplay is honored by true 'old school' cosplayers as being a rising star.  Still, an award is an award, ne?
 
***
 
Now, on to the official awards.  Not that you asked, but the structure of the AI system includes both kohai (less than five years in cosplay) and sempai (over five years, or exceptional skill) categories, as well as a few overall bests.  Just so some novices get a little encouragement.
The novices in question include Lady Kiku (again, but the CostumeCon award wasn't official, after all), Sun Mya, and for workmanship, our Princess Sapphire.  Stripper Vash and Hello Sailor Kitty take the sempai awards, and Anna Johnson's Edward Elric wins for workmanship.
The Best Individual award goes to Buggy the Clown (who I *thought* was teamed up with a ninja for that slap fight, but whatever)... if I'm not mistaken, it's our friend Victoria from previous AnimeIowas.  She's really moved up in the cosplay ranks, if that is in fact her.  Best Group goes to Roy Mustang, Maes Hughes and Edward Elric - evidently, those pictures Roy was handing out made an impression.  Workmanship award goes to the - ah, it's something called 'Deis Gaia': the DDR duel over the box of Cheez-Its.
 
And Best of Show goes to the wizard and warlock girls, Good and Evil.  And I recognize the name of one of the girls: Erica Door.  Long past her days of sewing up Peroperos, she's back in competition this year after spending last year judging the cosplay.  Looks like she's back at the judges' table again next year.  Wonder if she's gonna be able to make an every-other-year habit of this...
 
And that's that for the cosplay; over and done with in less than two hours, not counting the forty-plus minute delay in starting.  Really, quite efficient.
 
***
 
Kevin has AMVs running already, naturally, and most of them seem to be the same as those we saw last night.  Even TJ isn't sticking around.  That's odd... didn't they get the parodies copied onto their hard drive?
 
Evidently not.  Seems that some of the files simply wouldn't copy completely without giving off an error message of some sort.  They copied what they could, but it does take time to move 600Mb from a CD-ROM to a hard drive in any circumstance.
 
In any case, part of the reason for repeats is that Kevin's taking requests, and with a different audience, there's gonna be some repetition - some of these folks ain't seen what we have.  All good and well, but I still finally prevail upon him to show Neon Genesis South Park. 
It's been a while since we watched this, and I had forgotten about the lousy video quality (especially right at the beginning).  But the humor is still reasonably fresh, and as with any of the AMVs, not many people have seen this show.  Dark Schneider's response to the traditional 'Oh my goddess, they killed Kenny!' 'You bastard!' is still a classic bit.
 
Somewhere along the line, I get the hint about showing parodies, and why it doesn't sit well with the Anime Detour guys (or at least with Kevin, and since he's the one manning the computer, his opinion's the one that counts).  If you show something that lasts too long, people are going to start to leave.  It's that whole attention-span thing.  Even on a good parody like, say, 'This is Otakudom,' which literally has a laugh a minute (usually several), anyone who shows up in the middle of it will realize that they have, and not stick around.  AMVs are perfect for a party in which people are coming and going; a late arrival will not feel as if they've missed much, because the next short is on its way in just a few minutes.  At least NGSP is under twenty minutes itself, so it bridges the gap reasonably well.  But it's probably the only one they'll show tonight.
 
Actually, as things go along, there are a fair number of videos that we hadn't seen before showing up.  At the same time, I decide to offer any AMVs I might have brought; sure, they've got a portable hard drive, but that doesn't mean it's completely full of AMVs, or even that it's full at all.  So I have a few things they don't.
 
One of the big new hits is a Chobits video, done to the Avenue Q song "The Internet is for Porn."  The crowd sings along with the chorus as Hideki encourages "all you normal people" to join in.  We do a run of Monty Python AMVs, including 'Asuka the Black Knight,' Sailor Death's 'Camelot,' and 'the Life of Shinji' (wouldn't that be a swell crossover fic?).  Someone in the audience actually manages to chant along with the Japanese lyrics of 'Tainted Donuts,' while a series of videos created by Suberunker Studiosh garner well-earned applause.  At least one person pulls me aside to find out where these videos can be found, and (suprised as I am that someone hasn't heard of the site) I dutifully refer him to animemusicvideos.org.  I even mention that they have separate listings for the top 10% of each category (naturally, I favor the comedy and parody genres, myself)
 
As with last night, the party doesn't break up until well after three (although it's an odd sort of party, as I probably consume more hooch that everyone else put together - and no, I am *not* doing a Misato Katsuragi impersonation.  Everyone else is so absorbed in watching this or that video that no one gets up to get anything to eat or drink), and the last of the Detour guys don't leave until well after four - we're still swapping AMVs even as they take down some of their equipment.  Finally, they decide they're too tired to finish, and we all head off to bed...
 
*** SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 11
 
...from which I personally don't rise until nearly ten - even nearly sleeping through the alarm I've set.  Konatsu is up before me, but unlike last year, when my kunoichi was busily packing pretty much through the night, it's only by a matter of a half hour or so.  By the way, I should point out that it's not that I *expect* Konatsu-chan to be up packing like that.
 
For that matter, I never know *what* to expect of my kunoichi.  The shower tap ranges in temperature from scalding to boiling, which is a far cry from last night in the hot tub, according to Konatsu-chan.
 
Hot tub?  Since when were you in the hot tub, sugar?
 
I really should know that my kunoichi uses those ninja skillz now and again to slip away and do whatever.  As much as 'Natsu-chan likes to swim, it shouldn't surprise me when I hear tales of ducking the party at some undefined point in time and hanging out by the sixth-floor pool.  Since Charles and the rest of the staff have an affinity for the hot tub themselves, it's also a way for Konatsu to practice a little spying as well.
 
Of course, some of the stuff that's overheard isn't really meant for public consumption, so it stays in the notebook and goes nowhere.  But there is some relatively important news discussed: for one thing, AI's not gonna be at the Hotel Fort Des Moines next year, or even in Des Moines at all.  It's going back to Cedar Rapids, in fact.  Now, this is great news for us, as it shaves a full hour off our travel time.  
 
But what's weird is that it's gonna be in downtown Cedar Rapids, at the Five Seasons Plaza.  They did this once before, and the general consensus about that was 'never again;' there were, as I recall, some serious miscommunication going on between the convention and the convention center, and it put AnimeIowa in the red for quite some time after that.  So Konatsu and I are kinda puzzled as to what happened to change their minds about 'never again.'
 
***
 
Sunday, regrettably, is the day everyone has to pack up and leave, and we're no exception.  The problem is that, with *everyone* leaving at the same time, it's a little tricky to hail an elevator.  Well, after all, there *are* seven floors of otaku above us.  So after ten minutes of waiting (during which time two or three elevators *do* stop, but they're entirely full), I give up, and lug what I can down the stairs, toward the van.
 
Equally impossible is finding a luggage cart - but considering we have a cooler, the grill, and all sorts of other miscellaneous stuff that don't fit neatly into actual suitcases, we really do need one.  So after delivering what bags I could carry downstairs the first trip, I find myself waiting in the lobby, as people pass by, wheeling their luggage carts, and waiting for them to return with an empty one.  Two go by, then three, then a fourth... but none of them come back.
 
Call me impatient, but after all, we *do* have to check out of our lovely room before noon.  I call Konatsu from the lobby to warn that luggage carts are impossible to come by... and pretty much as soon as I hang up the phone, one finally gets wheeled back *into* the hotel.
 
Well, it's a *pleasant* surprise, anyway.
 
***
 
The Detour guys are taking down the last of their equipment when I return, and I have to get their email addresses and what have you; I still want to send them (maybe through Bittorrent?) my collection of anime parodies.  Kevin, Travis and Brian (okay, now I have their names) also tell me to check out www.animedetour.com: "We do more lame parties in more crappy hotels..." Brian tells me, somewhat self-depreciatingly.  It makes being part of a convention staff like being in the Army.
 
One of these days, I probably should try and get up there, considering how many Minnesotans we meet here at AnimeIowa.  On the other hand, we've decided a long time ago that two conventions a year was sufficient for us, and we really don't want to give either one up.  Maybe we could prevail on some fellow writer who's attending to try and write one of these reports...?
 
***
 
As with the luggage carts, this second wait for the elevators only gets results at the moment we give up and decide to split up.  At least we hadn't already done so when the door opened to reveal an empty cabin.  Granted, it's headed *up* first, but as long as we're *in*, what's it matter?  After all, what goes up must come down.
 
Only it doesn't go down far enough.  After ascending to the 11th floor (and picking up a few more passengers along the way, the car takes an express run straight to the second floor... whereupon it suddenly reverses course, and starts heading back up again.  What the...?  And hitting the "L" button seems to have no effect as we continue back up to the top floor.
 
We're not the only ones irritated by this turn of events; the door opens on every floor, and we're seeing the same people we've already turned down (because there's no more room).  To them, it's just one more elevator they can't get in, and they're as annoyed about that as we are that we can't get out.
 
***
 
Finally (and rather inexplicably, considering we can't explain why it *wouldn't* go down earlier) the elevator deigns to take us to the lobby, and we wheel our stuff out to the van.  Not that we're leaving, of course; there's still plenty to do and see here...
 
...such as the hall cosplay, which Konatsu scurries off to enter one more time, while I head off to find seats at the Anime Improv.  Sailor Moon and Sessumaru are already out on a date, but whoops: "I have to go save the world; I'll be right back."  One quick transformation sequence later (which we have imagine every bit as much as you readers do), and Sailor Moon returns, apologizing for the delay, "I hope you didn't see me get naked..."
 
Freeze... and now, instead of Sessumaru, it's Pikachu.  Needless to say, Usagi hasn't a clue what the Pokemon is trying to say, but rather than heading to the library for a translation, she decides it's an enemy.  The scene is cut, however, just as they begin to battle.
 
The MCs decide that now, the characters should try changing a light bulb.  But which characters?  Try Lina Inverse and Heero Yui.  Needless to say, a Dragon Slave is no substitute for a burned-out bulb.  Heero comments, "Duo's gonna be so upset... I knew we shouldn't have leased."  So now they've gotta go to the hardware store... only Lina wants to drive the robot, and Heero won't let her.  The Gundam gets Dragon Slave'd to a crisp, to much applause.
The next pair are to be Sosuke and Kagome, from Full Metal Panic.  Trouble is, the girl isn't familiar with the series.  And the audience is only a *little* helpful: "She hits him a lot."  That's all well and good, but borrowing the MC's mallet makes it all look more like Kodocha than FMP: Mallet-sama isn't a harisen by any stretch of the imagination.
 
One guy gets up, and claims to be some character named 'Armstrong,' who *I*m not familiar with.  Evidently, he's a really athletic type, as he tells Alphonse Elric that "I will bodyslam you into perfection."  At the next cry of 'Freeze,' 'Armstrong' sticks around to become Excel to the new girl's Hyatt, and *damn* if he doesn't run off at the mouth.
 
A later sequence has a contestant setting the scene in the Dragonball universe, to which the one already onstage asks, "What's Dragonball?" to big laughs.  Come to think of it, *I* could ask that question myself, since I've never seen the show either.  But you'd have to live under a rock to not have *heard* of it...
 
Our final contestant (for this game, anyway) steps onstage to announce that the next sketch will be "for the ladies:"  it's a yaoi scene.  And the guys are enthusiastic kissers, too... well, hey, anything for a laugh.  The lone girl onstage gets the last word (after all, the guys are using their mouths for a different purpose): "I choose lesbians," she mutters, as she walks off.  Even Evan, our MC, is shaking his head over this: "I drive four hours to Des Moines in order to watch Japanese guys making out.  You know, I don't think my parents ever saw this coming."
 
Now to try a normal, everyday activity as performed in an anime series.  Mowing the lawn is just plain chaos in either the Ranma or Excel Saga universes, while the name "Chrono Crusade" gets nothing but blank stares from all of the contestants.  So we try a new activity, with a new crew: although, how normal and everyday an activity is 'bounty hunting?'  And no, Cowboy Bebop is not an option.  For the Fruits Basket world, a girl captures Kyo by hugging him, but believe it or not, 'Naruto' generates blank stares again.  This time, the audience has a pretty clever definition: "it's hyperactive ninjas with Tourettes'"  Heh.  They have no better luck with FLCL, and as even those familiar with the series, there's really no good way to sum it up.  They finally settle on 'wacky' for a definition - and on pratfalls as their way to evoke wackiness.  I don't think so, guys...
 
Evan decides to take matters into his own hands, and joins the crew for the third round.  His co-MC announces that the activity will be 'the first day of school,' which is weird enough on the default setting: "The bus is scary! But -" and he indicates the other MC "- not as scary as he is."  How about Sailor Moon?  Hey, I'd like a school with Tuxy as principal (come on, anything could be an improvement at Furinkan, ne?)  With Chobits, it becomes clear that it's the first day of *kindergarten*: "Teacher, Bobby tried to press my 'on' switch!"  Finally, the audience suggests Azumanga (which kind of brings the round back full circle to normal school life) - except only Evan knows about the series.  We offer Daddy-Cat as an additional prop - imagine that, our plushie gets more stage time than we do! - and after they do a line or two, he is returned to us to a large round of applause.
 
Buying frozen vegetables is a little more mundane, but not when you're Lain Iwakura; "someone's following me," "the carrots are bleeding!" are just a couple of the hazards one faces.  The next series garners blank looks again, but since when did someone not know anything about Tenchi Muyo?  The group does their thing in a sort of pantomime.  They hit stride with Trigun, though - it is interesting that the guy already wearing a red shirt is automatically cast as Vash, regardless of whether he fits the role.  Basically, the vegetables are forgotten as everyone else onstage tells poor *Vash* to "Freeze!"  Even Evan has to take a picture of this tableau before switching to another game.  Problem is, the batteries in his camera seem to have died.  "Does anyone have a spare lithium battery?  They're small," announces his fellow MC, "just like his head."
 
New game, basically the 'Whose Line' of 'Whose Line,' where the participants read from a slip of paper when they get stuck.  Actually, I don't have any notes on what those lines are, but I do know that Gendo and Mihoshi in a psychiatrist's office seemed... off.  He's too talkative for Gendo, and she's too smart for Mihoshi (granted, those are easy mistakes to make).  A second team is given Ash Ketchum and Naruto trying to repair a car: Naruto kicks a tire, and Ash chases after it (I think he thinks it's a Pokeball that got kicked)  Gotta admit, this sketch is so lame, a trip to Lourdes wouldn't save it.  Radical Edward (you know, Ed from Cowboy Bebop) is an interesting foil for Gendo Ikari as they try to cook; and while this guy knows Gendo a little better, he kinda overdoes it on the immobility.  The guy's gotta do *something*, after all.  Finally, he reaches into his pocket for a line: "Pocky!"
 
Two turns at 'the Dating Game' (Evan tells one would-be volunteer "waving your tongue like that will *not* get you onstage; it WILL get the host very uncomfortable") and I have to agree with him: "This has been a stupid idea for the past five years... let's make it even stupider next year!"
 
***
 
It's already well into the afternoon by now, and we haven't had a whole lot to eat - if anything.  We haven't had the opportunity to take much advantage of the Hospitality Suite since we were up there for the opening.  Maybe there's something yet to be had up there.
 
Something, yes, but not much.  The place has gotten pretty picked over - they're nearly out of cold meats, for one thing - but they're still reasonably well set with cheese and veggies.  It ain't a meal, to be sure, but it's a lot better than nothing.
 
You can tell it's Sunday; the front and back rooms have beds in them, and they're all occupied (which means no one's using the PlayStation, as it's in one of the bedrooms) with folks either fully or mostly asleep.  Yeah, sleep happens at an anime con, it just takes a while for folks to succumb to it.
 
All things considered, it's quiet enough (and the pickings are sparse enough) that we decide to drop down to the consuite and graze there.  Besides, we *know* they've got beverages.
 
***
 
There's plenty of activity to be found here, including a table where some of the staffers are taking a well-earned breather before closing ceremonies.  Not that the work is done for them, by any stretch of the imagination; who do you think cleans up after all this?  It's not like all this equipment is provided by the hotel, after all...
 
...hmm.  As it so happens, that may an incorrect assumption on my part.  The discussion around the table is about AnimeIowa's budget, and how too much of the actual spending is out of the convention's hands, as the hotel *is* in fact taking care of a number of things that, evidently, the staff feels could be done by the convention itself for less.  I may be jumping to conclusions here, but I suspect this may be part of the reason for the move.  Of course, why the Five Seasons in particular remains to be explained.
 
I mentioned we were looking for something to drink?  All that's available right now is Diet Rite, and someone approaches the staff table, and addresses the matter to Charles - who promptly delegates the responsibility to someone who's actually on staff.  Charles may protest about being the guy that people go to despite having nothing to do with the convention (other than the MC duties he so cheerfully accepts), but the fact of the matter is, by being onstage at much as he is he is the public face of AnimeIowa.  Always has been, always will be.  And of course, the fact that he *was* con chair at one point doesn't clear the matter up much, either.  He resolves to make more of an effort to disabuse people of the notion that he is somehow in charge, though.  I wish him luck, but I don't think the situation's likely to change appreciably.
And now for some tales out of school, as somehow the topic turns to scalp burn.  Yes, I've mentioned how I've aged over time (and have gotten progressively older than the average convention attendee), but truth be told, I'm not alone.  And otaku suffer the same symptoms of aging that any other mortals do... including, as is being discussed, male pattern baldness - and the attendant, painful sunburn that occasionally strikes in this summery weather if one refuses to make allowances for said baldness.  In particular, Charles mentions getting a nasty burn from working outdoors a day before going to a job interview some time back; remarkably enough, he got the job, and spent quite some time there.
 
As he starts telling some very colorful stories about his life on that job, he notices me.  More to the point, he notices my notebook (come on, I'm not really *that* invisible - I've been participating in the discussion).  He's going to tell his stories, sure, but he asks me to leave them 'off the record.'  Evidently, he's Googled his name (or someone else has), and my reports have come up. 
 
Well, I guess they would, as I certainly mention him by name.  But I understand the need for a certain level of anonymity; I work outside of the Ucchan myself, but I don't think Kunou-kouchou would recognize himself if he read these (not that I'd necessarily want him to; thankfully, I hardly expect him to), and that's deliberate on my part.  Anyway, he just asks me to tell y'all that it's a story I simply *can't* repeat, and everyone of you would accept that.  I sure hope so...
 
Not that *all* the stories going around are off-limits.  You may recall an obscure reference to a Pikachu that had Charles shuddering at the cosplay and (as I've heard) the opening ceremonies.  Now, we get to hear... the rest of the story.  Seems his teenaged niece and a male friend of hers (*not* a boyfriend, nope-nope-nope - methinks there's a little too much protesting going on, here) were tossing a stuffed Pikachu back and forth somewhere (not here, this happened some time *before* the convention).  Don't ask me how or why, but evidently the hapless plushie landed in an open container of chocolate sauce.  As this produced two problems - a dirty Pikachu, and chocolate sauce going to waste - the fellow convinced the girl to lick the chocolate sauce off the Pikachu.  In addition, he also convinced her to let him film her as she did so. 
 
Have you all got that mental picture in your head, now?  Good.  Now that I've managed to spread it around, maybe that will diminish it somewhat for me individually.  Konatsu, on the other hand, doesn't see the big deal - not one to waste food either, after all - and I think there's a little bit of Sakaki-san in my kunoichi's makeup.  It all seems perfectly innocent, from that point of view.
 
Anyway, the point of this story is that, when Charles tells about it from the stage, people seem to think he's kidding.  "'Where do you get your material?' I'm asked.  I tell them I go to the wrong parties.  I'm not a comedian, I'm a journalist."  Think of him as the Dave Barry of otakudom: he is not making this stuff up, people.  He doesn't have to.  And if he runs out of material (as if), he can always attend another convention; the antics you see there would fill a book.
 
Of all people, I can relate.
 
Not that everyone at the table is actually considering this point; several have taken the Pokemon concept and run with it.  After all, how *does* Ash keep Pikachu happy?  And since Pokemon are fully sentient creatures, if Ash or any other trainer works on breeding Pokemon, doesn't that effectively make him some kind of pimp?  All of a sudden that one cosplay group that shows up at ACen makes a lot more sense.
 
It also makes for some rather disturbing mental images - as if the original source material wasn't weird enough.  Someone at the table murmurs that they're all out of mental floss.  "By the end of a convention," Charles responds, "we *all* are."
 
And somewhere along the way, everyone departs for the closing ceremonies.  I thought he said that the nice thing was that he didn't have to dress up for them; so why the sudden departure?  Or is it later than I think?
 
***
 
AnimeIowa may be closing in on critical mass this year: total registration is 1,566 (although Charles does hold a literal handful - four or five badges - of paid admissions that were never claimed.  As I understand it, though, that few no-shows is an extreme rarity for conventions).  "I prefer prime numbers," he adds, exhorting us all to bring a few more people.  Although if *all* of us brought a few more people...
 
Thanks go out to the guests - some of them seem to have already made a break for it, though - as well as for volunteers, who've put in all told about 1,100 man-hours over the course of the weekend.  Several of them have yet to collect their T-shirts as a reward for their service, including a fellow by the name of Jim Hendrix.  Konatsu-chan leans over to me and whispers, "I thought he was dead."
 
Come on, sugar... old otaku never die, they just smell that way.
 
As far as Katrina donations go, the convention has raised $482 (which I believe was to go to the American Red Cross).  Add our matching contributions to the okonomi-yaki session, and that comes to a total of $550, which, now that I think of it, amounts to about 35� per attendee.  It sounds so much more trifling when you do the math; maybe not everyone *knew* about the donation drive.
 
Art auction winners are announced - well, at least the ones who haven't gone to pick up their winnings (Charles: "We have stuff for you to take home to embarass your relatives with.")  On a similar note, the artist who designed Buu-chan is honored for winning the mascot contest, while *all* the entrants are thanked for participating and "for keeping us on your good side;" don't want anyone pissed off at the con for not having won, after all.
 
Now it's time for the staffers to "get [their] exhausted little tuckus" Is that the plural or singular? "up here."  After an admonition to the assembled line not to start in Riverdancing (as if any of them has the strength to do so... nevertheless, the ever-present mallet is brought out, just in case) the real con chair, Danae thanks the staff for actually allowing her to catch some sleep over the weekend.  Despite being afforded this rare privilege, she gleefully announces that she will *not* be the chair for AI2006.  Nor will any one person, for that matter; AI's webmistress Lori will be sharing the duties with someone else who manages to keep his identity out of my notes.
 
After confirming that yes, next year's AI will be held at the Cedar Rapids crowne Plaza, Charles declares that "it will be a memorable fiasco for us all," to which Danae retorts that "they're *all* fiascos - the trick is not to let it show."  No guests are confirmed yet for next year, but it is rather soon to have that together.
 
Meanwhile, it's time to thank this year's crop - or anyway, all those who are still here and willing to take the mike.  Certainly Felipe is glad for the mike, as he's pretty much lost his voice.  He repeats all the thanks that have already been mentioned, "'cause I'm obnoxious." This is his fifth convention this season, but he claims this one has been the best.  The others, apparantly, have been of the big-box, ACen/Otakon/AExpo variety, so a convention like AnimeIowa should be, if nothing else, quite refreshing.
 
The irrepressible Greg Ayres starts out by asking if everyone else is as tired as he is.  Whether or not we are, no one is more amazed that he's back for his third consecutive year than he is.  But while he may tell us at ACen about it being his home con, he "pimps out" AIowa to everyone he knows (well, he did sell Monica Rial on coming here last year)
Speaking of folks who've been sold on the small-con format, Talesin speaks for himself, Zara and Trisha (presumably, the ladies had to catch a flight back to the West Coast already).  In a similar vein as Felipe, this has been their first small convention, and they've loved it.  While he can hardly imagine *not* being invited back, if he isn't, "I may have to hitchhike here" next year.
 
The DeJesuses are next, and Bob starts off by asking everyone to forget whatever it was he did all last night.  Apparantly, he already has.  Emily adds to that by asking whoever they may have hugged or glomped not to sue them, as they "don't have jack."  After all, this whole convention thing is quite literally their job.  Still, they must be doing something right to be still at it after six years - they say the first five years of a business are the hardest.
 
The small convention format gets even more praise from Keith, who talks about running from panel to panel at a larger con.  Here, it isn't as much like a convention as a family reunion with anime.  You know, I really like that analogy; hope I won't have to pay him royalties if I decide to use it in future.  Actually, he's still continuing with his thanks, directed primarily at some woman whose name he didn't recall catching who "helped me find my room," which gets the audience buzzing. 
 
With all this praise for the small-convention format, it almost seems strange to hear Charles exhorting each of us to bring a friend to next year's con: that'd be an attendance in excess of 3,000 people.  Hardly a small convention at that point.  He's already wickedly cheerful about the possibilities, turning to our future chairpeople: "Have fun running it."
 
Oh, and as we're about to close AnimeIowa 2005 (Charles actually says '2006' by mistake at one point, and the guests and staffers still onstage surreptitiously pass the mallet across the stage until they get within range to whck him for his slip), we actually *do* have a guest confirmed for next year.  Oddly enough, it's not any of the folks here this year.  It's Steve Bennett, late of Studio Ironcat!  It'll be good to see him again (although I wonder if my memory serves me correctly, as I keep thinking I see a lot of him in Blue Collar's Ron White).  A little girl in the audience starts squalling; I hope it's not due to this news.
 
That's it for the con.  Registration is open for next year; register early and often (hey, that's Chicago's schtick).  Thank you, and good night.
 
***
 
Good night, indeed.  It's already between four and five p.m., and it takes a good five hours plus to get home.  Do we stay for the feedback session?
 
Konatsu votes yes.  We stay.
 
***
 
Well, at least it isn't as if we have to wait for things to get started - staff members are already arrayed at the panel table, and discussions are underway.  Apparantly the really big news is that the town of Coralville - a suburb (such as it is) of Iowa City and the original headquarters of AnimeIowa - has plans in the works for a sizable convention center.  They're actually asking AI (and other regular conventions that take place in Iowa, let's be fair here) for feedback as to what they would want in a convention center.
 
This would be a great thing for all concerned if AI were to get everything it might want in a convention center essentially in its old hometown (and in addition to that, there's a plus insofar as Coralville/Iowa City are nearer to the Illinois border than *either* Des Moines or Cedar Rapids.  All the less travel for us!), and the staffers are buzzing with ideas.  There are a couple of caveats, though.  First off, this *is* still in the planning stages - it'll be a long time before anything comes of this place.  Secondly, the staff panellists are unanimous in that AnimeIowa does *not* want to be the inaugural convention in this new center.  The first visitors to such a place are usually the ones who find all the bugs in the system.  The prevailing attitude is along the lines of "Let someone else have the honor of breaking it in."
 
At any rate, it's still a nice dream.  Imagine, a convention center checking with a bunch of otaku to find out what they'd like in a place like that.  There's just something coold about that.  I certainly hope it pans out someday soon.
 
Enough of the distant future.  On with the recent past.  What could have been done better?
Someone kicks things off by bemoaning the lack of strongly caffinated drinks, specifically Mountain Dew.  RC Cola really doesn't have a high-octane beverage in its stable, to be honest.  Unfortunately, high-octane (and for the record, I should mention that I think caffiene is highly overrated.  Apart from having to get up and pee that much more, consuming mass quantities of such stuff never kept me from a night's sleep when I was in college) comes with a high price: fountain syrup for Pepsi products are several times more expensive than RC (and Coke, at four times RC's cost, is that much more pricey)  So we're not likely to do the Dew.
On the other end of the spectrum, the suggestion of a water cooler is raised.  Not a bad idea, but I always assumed that was provided by the hotel already.  On the other hand, I didn't see pitchers of water outside of panel rooms, like we have at the Rosemont Hyatt.  
 
How about food, as long as we're on the subject of consumables?  The huge barrels of cheese balls that used to be a trademark of the Cedar Rapids AIs are mentioned - evidently, that's not allowed here at the Hotel Fort Des Moines.  Basically, any foodstuffs they *can* provide, they *must* provide - or else, no one can provide them.  It explains why mornings in the consuite don't involve the likes of bagels, donuts and fruit like they used to, either... and how AnimeIowa has gotten around the catering requirement by providing a lot of Japanese snacks (which basically is beyond the hotel's ken).  Now that we're going back to Cedar Rapids, we may see those cheese balls and bagels once again (although Danae insists that they *aren't* going to fill a bathtub full of them).
 
If this seems like the staff is being critical of the HoFoDeMo, well, that may be.  This session is to figure out the problems in order to resove them for future cons, after all.  To be fair, they do give us a lot of space (and of course, I cant say enough for the size of their rooms; although I do get the impression that ours is the exception to the rule) - certainly, the consuite is enormous.  It'll be a challenge to find sufficient contiguous space in the Crowne Plaza, that's for sure.
 
A lot of those of us here at the feedback panel are sponsors, and that's fine; they wanna know how that's working out, too.  While most of us plan on doin it again in future, there are a few kinks yet to work out, like the scheduling (we mention the brunch, for that matter - apparantly, some of the guests thought the brunch was on Sunday rather than Saturday)  The sponsor's swag bag comes in for a question: why was there no DVD of last year's cosplay, like last year (not that we've actually *watched* the DVD)?  The answer is simple: AI didn't have any volunteers handling the videography last year.  Or this year, for that matter.  Which leaves me wondering about the video feed for the overflow room - no one was recording that?  Seems hard to believe.
 
Another scheduling issue: what was the deal with the Totoro Water Polo?  Yes, Konatsu asks this one - my kunoichi doesn't take kindly to being left out of a swimming event.  And it is kind of odd for an event to be over with before most of us ever find out about it.  Well, if everything worked out like it should have, AI would have had its program books by Thursday evening.  But we have a longstanding tradition of having the program books arrive late - the only time they were on time, the convention T-shirts didn't arrive until just about the end of the con.  So ya gotta decide what you want to have arrive late.
 
Someone wants Dr. Susan Napier to come back as guest in future; I suspect people just want to tell her their stories and opinions on otakudom.  I should think her dissertation on us otaku are well and truly completed by now.
 
The game room comes in for praise, and the staffers themselves express admiration for 'Penny,' who basically turned up in the AI on-line forums and volunteered to run the whole thing herself.  For a con staff virgin, it was mighty impressive work.  Evan in particular points out that the forums have their dangers; if you go online, and say something to the effect of "hey, you know what we ought to have at AnimeIowa?" you may run the risk of getting a response like this: "yeah, that *would* be cool... and you can run it for us!"  We've not been on the forums, but having once again been assured that Don Swentik's anime version of Apples to Apples is available out there, we are resolved to check it out.
 
I have to ask about the stolen parodies (I hope AI can get what they lost back, after all, for a future convention); turns out, only Fanboy Bebop is missing.  Yeah, missing, not stolen.  They simply don't know where it is.  It *may* be with someone who shouldn't have it, but they can't confirm anything.  So they're taking an optomistic view of the situation.  
 
Well, if parodies aren't available, what about a room showing AMVs?  The staffers say that, under the circumstances, they would be required to get the permission of anyone whose AMV they showed.  By contrast, ACen has an advantage insofar as anyone who's submitted a video to them for competition has essentially given them permission to show it, essentially in perpetuity.
 
No one has any complaints, and the staff is somewhat self-congratulatory in explaining that they make an effort to obtain an eclectic mix of dealers.  Not everyone's selling videos or manga; some stock food, others video games, others clothing.  They do admit to not being able to get a dealer in authentic kimonos, but the convention coincides with their suppliers' trade show; one can understand why they don't bother with here.
 
Danae asks if anyone considered *when* AnimeIowa 2006 will be held... and the other panellists smack their foreheads in chagrin.  It's *not* gonna be in early September, but in August - which is actually something of an improvement, especially for those in school and all.  Although, it may wreck hell with *our* vacation schedule, being in *early* August and all.  Why the change?  Well, keep in mind that football season starts up in September, and Cedar Rapids is apparantly the place to go in Iowa (funny, I would have thought that would be Iowa City)
 
At this point, the topic switches over to the cosplay.  There are complaints about how the lines were handled downstairs whilst Konatsu and I - and all the other sponsors - waltzed right in.  The ordeal is characterized as 'twenty minutes of waiting, and then we get moved without any explanation.'  The panellists are relatively apologetic, admitting that fitting 900 people in a single-file line is a logistical nightmare - especially given the layout of the lobby.  I *still* can't imagine how they would manage it... and for that matter, I've no desire to find out, frankly.  As far as an explanation for the mid-stream rearrangement, the reply is that, even given a megaphone or a bullhorn, it won't be heard or understood by everyone in line - and the grapevine, efficient as it is in some circumstances, isn't necessarily reliable.  
 
Several staffers talk about how last year, the guy in charge of crowd control studied charts and graphs as to how best to arrange people in a limited space ("That's what we get when we have an engineer volunteer," is the joke); in their defense, they point out that there were fewer complaints this year than last, despite the apparant triumph of chaos over science.  Maybe folks didn't take their gripes to the bridge as much this year.  Or maybe crowd control is still an *inexact* science.  We did see a bumper sticker type comment in the dealers' room defining an otaku as "one who can read subtitles, but not signs."  Maybe they should put up the crowd control signs in Japanese.
 
Next year, however, promises to a be a bit more organized... although for all concerned, there had better be good weather on that Saturday.  Instead of holding it in one of the hotel's ballrooms (or, heaven forfend, the US Cellular Stadium next door to the Crowne Plaza - "The Coke of display space," as the staffers refer to it), it's going to be at the 1,600-seat Paramount Theatre, with an amphitheatre setting that assures that everyone gets in that wants to, and no one gets a bad seat.
 
Of course, whether we're dealing with this year or next, there's always gonna be a problem with the elevators.  Certainly we've had our troubles, and we were in a position to take the stairs in most cases - not a luxury that everyone could afford.  The call-buttons here at the HoFoDeMo *do* have issues with being pressed continuously - apparantly, it makes the car stop regardless of the direction the car is going.  Well, *that's* something we won't have to deal with, at any rate.
 
One last topic, and it's about something I never report on (because I never go - too busy with room parties and all that, y'know) - the dance.  The complaint is that the music was all just techno stuff, and more or less sounded like the same song over and over again.  You know, it's times like this I have a little hope, despite my age - I take comfort in the fact that while I may not 'get it' when it comes to music, it's okay, 'cause the kids can't tell the songs apart either.
Well, some of them, anyway.  Evan launches into what he refers to as his 'patented rant' on dance music: of the fifteen hundred attendees at AIowa, half like techno, half like J-pop - and only three happen to like both.  They tried to put together a couple of dances with different formats (J-pop on Friday, techno on Saturday), but really, the music is dependant on whatever the volunteer DJs provide (professional DJs are right out for a convention like this - they charge more to attend than guests do!).  They are working on putting together more agreeable playlists, but that takes time and effort.
 
Any further questions?  No?  Terrific... it's nearly six o'clock, and given how long it takes to get back, it's *way* past time we were on the road back.  Until next year, then.
 
*****
EPILOGUE
*****
 
Normally, I don't write more at the end of my convention reports, but consider it my way to apologize (some apology, huh?  I make you slug through a few *more* pages of my writing) for delaying this report for nearly six weeks from the time the convention ended.  Look at it this way - in all that time, a few things have changed, and others have been brought to my attention.
 
For one, I decided to check out the online forums - I don't generally have time for that sort of thing (and as you can tell, I've had enough things to distract me for getting down to it and actually finishing this report), but there was that whole Apples to Apples thing.  So far, it's not available online (as of a month ago - yeah, it's been that long since I checked it out again), despite what I've heard.  Maybe I should go straight to Don Swentik himself.
 
While checking out the forum, I made a few posts myself, and in short order, I was spotted by none other than G.L. Sandborn - whom I had mentioned as not being at AnimeIowa this year.  Not only am I wrong on that count, he was at the fanfiction panel - although not *on* the panel, more's the pity.  From what he tells me, this year wasn't a heckuva lot better than the one hosted by the "Queens of Orochi" in 2001, I think it was.  He did try to put his two cents in, but once he started in on techniques, and how to get published, "you could have covered a dozen donuts with the glazed looks I got." That's slightly paraphrased, but only slightly.  Not a good scene, and to a certain extent, I'm not sorry to have missed it.
 
I *am* sorry not to have caught up with Greg, though.  It would seem that AnimeIowa has actually gotten big enough that you don't manage to meet everybody you want to.  Even more of a pity, he actually managed to bring his wife (who is decidedly *not* an otaku, poor guy), and he could have stood to have her meet 'normal' people who *are* otaku.  He considers us to be among the closest examples of normality he knows, which goes to show how much trouble he's in.
 
For those that want to know more about Greg's adventures at AnimeIowa, you may want to bug him for a narrative, as I don't want to misquote or repeat *too* much, after all.  
 
***
 
You may remember the loquacious gentleman I introduced you all to on Friday evening, who mentioned Phil Foglio's _XXXenophile_ manga.  I took the liberty of checking it out, and by golly, they are entertaining reads.  They cetainly meet my standard of good hentai, insofar as they make you think 'hey, I want some of that!' when you read 'em.  Although I should point out that any reference I made to the characters being monogamous should be excised - at least half the time, anyway.  But the point is, all the characters involved are having a good time.
 
I should mention that when I visited Foglio's website at airshipbooks.com, the site specifically states that "we can no longer ship to Canada."  Considering that Foglio is based out of the Seattle area (and thus none too far from the Canadian border), that's really saying something.  And here I just thought that Paul Corrigan was just paranoid when he dumped his doujinshi collection before moving north to Ottawa.
 
Even more ironic, though, is when I actually receive my order of Foglio's _Xxxenophile_ anthologies, would you believe... the darn thing states that it was "printed in Canada."  So it was okay to be up there at *some* point, eh?
 
***
 
Another thing I should mention is something that bridges the gap between anime music video and anime parody: the AMV Hell series, a staple of the AD room party.  The guys responsible have apparantly roped a whole bunch of fellow AMVers into putting together a massive compilation (which they've labelled #3) running well over an hour long (with each segment less than half a minute - talk about your Short Attention Span Theatre)  Pity none of us were aware of this at AnimeIowa; this would have really brought them in.
 
And then we could chase them all out with AMV Hell 0, which, according to its creators, is so vile that NO ONE should be watching it.  They're not kidding about some of those clips, but near the end of *that* compilation, there's a *very* clever schtick wherein Sakaki gets invited (by way of AIM chat) to click on a site invovling pictures of cats (although you must realize that's not the synonym for cat that's used in this case), which results in a cascade of pornographic sites popping up on her computer, as Chiyo and an increasingly nauseous Osaka look over her shoulder.  It's just the sort of thing that might happen, and it's truly inspired.  That said, it's a hell of a thing to slug through.
 
Then again, they don't call it AMV Heaven, after all... 

***
 
Finally, for all the contributions raised during the convention for those devastated by hurricane Katrina, the season isn't over with this one single worldbeating storm.  As I finish this, we're only a couple storms away from having to start the alphabet over with Greek letters;
 those familiar with Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou know that Alpha is still a name, but would probably have a hard time relating the gentle android with a violent storm.
 
And of course, there's also the damage wrought by the likes of Rita and Wilma to cope with already.  With Rita having plowed through Port Arthur, Texas (among other places), I'm sure many of us hope for the best for the Eternal Lost Lurker and his people; Lurker-san, please let us know that you're okay!
 
***
 
And so another weekend (and six wasted weekends thereafter) come to a close, as does the anime convention season.  Now to wait for AnimeCentral to return.
 
Until then, ja!
 
Itsu mo,
Ucchan  ^_^



             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'