A priest, a rabbi, and a nun walked into a bar. It was the

perfect

setup for a joke, but nobody so much as looked up. None of them

really

<snicker>  I can hear the 4th wall groaning under the load...

My comedies don't have fourth walls. In fact, they don't have any walls
until you get up to about the seventh, where the characters leap out of
the screen and strangle the reader for laughing at them. We're working
on breaching that one.

    The entering priest's Bible, however, had much more than alcohol
removed from its pages. He flipped it open and pulled a six-shooter

out

of the hollow cavity. The rabbi flipped his menorah over and slid

his

finger behind the hidden trigger, while the nun cast off her robe,
revealing a set of criss-crossed holster belts full of firearms and
ammunition.

<blink>  That's... well, not unusual at all, in anime these days.

I never said anyone paid attention. ^_^

    "Don't make me discipline all of you," finished the nun. "Anyone

who

stands against the Holy Bandits gets an early opportunity to meet

his

maker!"

Dunno, after the first two, this one almost falls flat.  But I don't
have any ideas to make it more clever, so feel free to ignore me.

Everything I know about Catholic school, I learned from sitcoms and
Whoopi Goldberg movies. That's about the best I've got.

    The priest grabbed a large ashtray and walked from table to

table.

"Be not afraid, my children. Give generously, and the Lord will

protect

you."

This is like an SNL skit, back when SNL was at the top of its game.

I wonder which one is David Spade.

    The rabbi stopped short and aimed his menorah at the back of the
room. "Hey! There's a guy back there laughing at us!"

It wasn't a guy, though.  Maybe "somebody/someone"?

Yeah... not really sure why I did that. One of those sexist assumptions.

    The Holy Bandits turned toward the faint sound of chuckling from

the

farthest table. There were two people sitting there, but it was the
woman with the long, dark hair who was laughing. The blonde man

stared

resolutely through his sunglasses at nothing in particular.

Knew this HAD to be Vash.

Of course. Hiding his identity just wasn't going to happen.

    "That's a tip to improve your performance," said the woman,

pushing

the ashtray away.

Saw THAT coming.

That's why it's not the punchline.

    The blond man, who until this point had seemed completely
uninterested in the interaction, quickly knocked the gun out of the
priest's hand and stood up, knocking the table over. The woman

ducked

Dunno... maybe make some reference to Vash's inhuman speed or
something here.  Just "quickly knocked" seems... bland.

Given that D.B. also commented on this section, I'll be sure to change
that.

    The spiky-haired man leapt to action. He whipped out a pistol

and

"into action" is more typical.  Though he's *already* acting, so
maybe he leaps to his feet, instead?

He'll leap to something else, certainly. Maybe just OVER the table... so
his back isn't to anyone.

    "Crazy freak!" shouted the nun, unholstering another pair of

guns

and shooting at the blond as quickly as she could. He ducked and

dodged

his way across the room, ending up right in front of her without

taking

Or letting anyone else get hit, I assume.  Vash *is* Vash, after all.

Which I hope to address with the comment above. Funny how that works
out. ^_^ (At least, I hope it's funny. This is a comedy, after all.)

    The blond's eyes sparkled. "Do you have... donuts?"

<plotz>

Stand by for punchline in five... four...

    The woman smiled. "Just leave your thieving ways behind and

spread a

proper religious message from now on. One of love and peace."

Suddenly,

the book began to glow again, and she flipped to the next page.

"Ooh,

it's a new spell! WERALGONADIE!"

Took me a moment...

Most of the letters I dropped are doubles anyway.

KONJIKI NO VASH/VASH BELL

<convulsing on floor in agony>

Is this the first of my spamfics you've read?

KONJIKI NO ASH

Ash Bell?  <whimper>  Mommy....

I know he doesn't have the advertised blond hair, but...

Thanks for the feedback. I'll be making the changes to my webpage copy
shortly.


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