On 9/29/05, *Jimmy C* <jimmy.cwl@gmail.com <mailto:jimmy.cwl@gmail.com>> 
wrote:


    From: Bob Schroeck [rms@eclipse.net <mailto:rms@eclipse.net>]

    I find this chapter generally good, my standards are rather relaxed
    however.
    A few things I wish to comment on:

     >>The fact that (as far as Buckaroo and I could determine) I hadn't
    aged a day in nearly 7 years, though, suggested that I wouldn't
    need to worry (much) about racing the clock to make it back. <<

    What about making it back before his friends passed away?


it's possible that they came to the conlusion that Doug ages at the same 
rate as his Homeline, ergo if he's not aging, neither are they... Or he 
could have had some god or other tell him that he'll see his friends 
again...

     >"Impossible!  She's supposed to be *dead*!"

    If this person is a goddess, you're in big trouble. The Doublet
    System is
    supposed to discourage gods and demons from trying to kill each
    other. You
    have an out, in that it appears that only some, not all, gods and
    demons are
    doublets. Even so, killing someone on the other side, or letting
    them die,
    is not something a god or demon would do lightly. So your
    explaination had
    better be a good one, if the victim was indeed a goddess.


read the Concordance.

     >>"Look at this," he continued, and pointed at the books and
    laserdiscs on his bed.  "The 'Valdemar' books by Mercedes Lackey.
    The 'Bubblegum Crisis' anime.  The freaking *'Adventures of
    Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension'*, for Tyr's sake!"
    With a wild gesture, he indicated his computer.  "'Kodomo no
    Omocha', his third 'jump', is some stupid kids' anime that I
    can't stand, and to top it all off, his bloody supposed
    *homeworld* is a sourcebook for GURPS!"<<

    You're going to have quite a bit of explaining to do here. It
    strikes me as
    odd that, in all 4 jumps, no one has ever pointed out that Doug had
    been in
    a fictional world before, yet someone in this world has easily
    identified
    all five, including his homeworld. I know I haven't read the other
    instalments of DW other than 2, for all I know, you haven't written
    them
    yet. But consider his thoughts and actions on arrival, did he wonder
    which
    fictional world he was in this time? When he was telling everyone
    about his
    prior adventures, did he mention that those were fictional worlds?
    Did he
    think about *not* saying so to avoid panicking the locals? No. His
    thoughts
    and actions suggest that he felt the worlds he'd been to are as real
    as his
    own. Why should this happen here and now, but not before?
    I'm not completely sure what to do about the situation, for now, I
    suggest
    moving 2 or 3 more of those worlds from Chris' library to the net
    search he
    performed.



This has been discussed on Bob's Forums... at this point, Doug doesn't 
know that he's going through fictional worlds. He will find out at some 
point. It's also quite possible that he's had limited contact with 
SciFi/Fantasy nuts of the order that Chris is... Walk down the street, 
and see how many references you find to Buckaroo, Valdemar, OMG and 
Sailor Moon... in the course of everyday life for the average Joe, 
they're pretty hard to come by... and Doug would have no reason to go 
looking, either... It's entirely possible that if he'd started hanging 
around with the students who frequented that diner in DW2, he'd have 
gotten a clue about Valdemar or his Homeline then... he even got a hint 
about transfictionality at the end of DW2 from Quincy. When you know for 
a fact that gods and semi-parallel dimentions exist, you don't 
immediately start thinking that they're fictional... especially when 
you're there to see for yourself.
 

    And will chris start wondering if *he* is in a fictional world?


why should he? he's met god himself (call him Harold)....

     >but I hoped maybe Skuld would accept the toy robot as a peace
    offering.

    Poor Doug, Skuld hates machanical devices that do nothing useful.


ah, but she can _make_ it_ functional.... and it's not really 
mechanical, more sculptural at this point

     >Makiyura Hall, Nekomi Institute of Technology

    Megumi doesn't live in a dorm, she has her own apartment.

     >Megumi usually just took the most convenient of the system's four
    routes
    whenever she visited her brother.

    Megumi has a bike, she doesn't need to take the bus.

     >At the top she paused for a moment, one hand on the wooden gate;

    The temple doesn't have a front gate. But given what goes on
    frequently in
    the yard, they should have installed one a long time ago, along with
    a demon
    intrusion alarm.


I'm not possitive, but i think that Chris has addressed these issues in 
his series Oh! My Brother, in which universe DW5 takes place....

    That's about it, any chance we can see the next chapter in less than
    a year?


would you rather have him rush something out just to have something or 
wait for something good?

-Z




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