Angus MacSpon wrote:

At 8:12 AM -0400 26/9/2005, DB Sommer wrote:
 

Avenging
Act II, Chapter 6
Not So Startling Revelations
   

Oho.  Always nice to see more of this...
 

% Glad you like it. I'll try to get it out more regularly, but no 
guarentees.

The Hulk noticed the draft and looked down. "What happen to Hulk's
pants?"
   

That is *so* not a mental image I needed.
 

% Yeah. Hulk hentai doujins I could do without.

As he looked around for them, he saw Thor's naked body,
displaying divine attributes that were proportional to her six and a
half foot frame.
   

Hmm, this on the other hand... :)
 

% Heh.

"I just ain't ashamed of body." Bucky struck a seductive pose, despite
being draped in a cape.
   

Should perhaps be "of my body"?
 

% Yep. Left a few words out here and there and was redundent sometimes 
as well.

Bucky stopped as she stared at the Hulk. "Well, well,
well, it looks like the blood didn't rush only to his nose."
   

Mental purge time.
 

% Haven't had Akane belt someone for being perverted, though this sight 
might cause anyone to run away in terror.

Leave it to Akane to get right to the point. Ukyou laughed
embarrassingly. "Sort of. I'm sorry about shoving you around on my first
day here."
   

embarrasedly
Though I'm not sure there's any such word.  :)
 

It'll now be a laugh 'tinged with embarrassment'

"Jessie Gartland," Yuka confirmed. "Everyone says she's a prodigy at
archery.
   

If this is supposed to be the Battle Athletes character, I think it's
"Gurtland".
 

% Figures I'd end up going to one of the 70 websites that mispell it 
that way. :(

Ranma plopped himself down in the bedroom he shared with his father,
relieved that another day of school was over. The walk back had been
boring since Akane had work at Dr. Tofu's while Nabiki said she had some
business to conduct and went off in another direction. It was just as
well. He was still a little tired after yesterday's experience. Fight
was too strong a word, but it had been exhausting all the same.
   

It was?  One kick?
 

% Emotional exhausting having the newshounds harrass her.

Genma pressed onward. "Just be glad no one photographed you above chest
level, or you'd never be able to show your cursed form anywhere."
   

Heh.  Implying everyone photographed her *below* chest level.  Not
necessarily something to be glad of.
 

% More like 'chest level and below' in this case.

"Certainly. It just so happens that I am an expert in how to pleasure
women. Why, if it wasn't for condoms, you'd probably have a half dozen
brothers and sisters by now. Let me describe some of my basic techniques
that will have your partner begging for more."
   

... Remember what I said about mental images?
 

% Not a lot of Genma doujins out there for some reason. This too is 
probably for the best,

Sensing his borderline homicidal desires, and not in the mood for a
beating, Genma said, "Let me explain, and don't hit me until I've finished"
   

Missing a period or exclamation mark.
 

% Yeah, used grammar corrections you had.

Ranma drew his fist back. "Then why engage me to her in the first place?"

Before his son could launch the punch, Genma hurried out, "I was hoping
she'd become your superhero side-kick."
   

... Okay.  THAT'S different.
And spookily plausible.

... Nahh.

 

% Sure it is. It actually works here. Much to my relief.

The first uncurled and his anger disappeared. Ranma stared at his
father, dumbfounded. "What?"

Genma dropped into a lecturer's tone. "Many reputable superheroes have
sidekicks. It's a tradition. With her skill in archery, she'd have made
a great side-kick. I was thinking of calling her, 'The Fuscia Arrow'."
   

Fuchsia.
 

% Yeah, Hulk not like that color. Should have gone back to previous 
chapters and looked up the spelling there.

And, ick.
 

% Obviouslly going with the Green Arrow knockoff thing.

As he had with his son, Genma took on a lecturer's tone. "Because I
approve of your work. The world needs people like you, risking your life
to stop menaces that the normal authorities can't. Telling everyone who
you are would make your life hell. And your taking up the cause also
proves my instincts were right on the ball. That idiot boy owes me an
apology."
   

... Dang, that almost sounds convincing.

It's always a little wrenching to hit a scene like this and suddenly
remember that, when he wants to be, Genma can be quite a shrewd customer.
 

% And in this case having a safe and stable Ukyou/Hawkeye increases the 
liklihood of being an able bodied assitant to her fellow Avenger/s, Cap 
and Bucky

"She forgives you," Genma grunted surly.
   

surlily.
(Though as adverbs go, this one is, in my opinion, an abomination.  Might
be better to pick another one. ^_^)
 

% Will do so. It does look nasty.

Genma was about to retort when he stopped and thought about the matter.
It appeared the boy was dragging his feet regarding the engagement. Now
that they had fulfilled their obligation, it would be safe to visit
Nodoka again. Moreover, she had always been eager about the idea of
Ranma marrying young and having grandchildren. She would no doubt push
the boy into selecting one of the girls as well. Between him and his
wife, they would be sure to force Ranma to choose one of them before the
month was out. "A good idea, Boy. We'll go tomorrow."
   

There's that shrewd thing again ...
 

% He's always looking for an advantage, and sometimes gets one. Aside 
from ending up with an arrow in his bottom the day turned out pretty 
good for him.

All eyes were fixed on the television as the advertisement ended and
they introduced the show's host. Sitting across from him at an angle, so
the television cameras could show her entire face, was an older woman,
attractive despite being in her mid-thirties. She wore a formal, if
plain, white kimono, and had her reddish-colored hair tied into a bun.
   

... Of course she did.
*groan*
 

% Couldn't be that easy, now could it.

"Polls show she is very popular, though," Ken pointed out.
   

Especially among teenage boys.
 

% Yep.

Ranma and Genma turned as pale as the gi the older man wore. Ranma
turned to his father. "Remember what I was saying earlier about visiting
you know who? I changed my mind. We should put it off for a good long
while."

Genma could only nod his head in agreement.
   

... Fun as always.  Glad to see this continuing ...
 

% Glad to continue it.

DB Sommer

Cheers,
Angus

 

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