It's been forever since I last published... well, anything. If the
summary below isn't enough to refresh your memory or you haven't read
the earlier chapters, you can catch up at
http://nidoking.anifics.com/NewChoice.html . This chapter bears almost
no resemblance to the original, except that the first two scenes cover
the same settings. It also hasn't been preread, so any comments you have
will be appreciated.


SO FAR: Cologne has finally revealed the secret of the demon working for
her... it's the Jusenkyo-cursed form of Razor, the backwards boy. She
has also explained Ranma's strange behavior... the end product of
subliminal training from a book entitled "How to Be More Assertive".
Finally, she has requested Ranma's help to protect Shampoo from the
demon that has already kidnapped Kodachi and Ukyo. But Ranma had more
important matters to take care of - he tried to force Akane to call off
their engagement to keep her safe from the demon. Akane's refusal led to
their first kiss, but due to a mix-up involving Ryoga and a voodoo doll
that Gosunkugi had constructed, Akane inadvertently dealt Ranma a
crushing blow to his pride.

Ranma 1/2: A Deadly Choice
Chapter 11: Ranma One Half-and-Half

    Akane drew back her fist and took aim at the utility pole. "You...
IDIOT!" she shouted as she swung with full force. The steel shattered on
impact, leaving the upper part of the structure connected by a
dangerously thin sliver for only a few seconds before the pole toppled,
gouging a hole in the street as it hit. Akane stepped backward to
examine her handiwork and exhaled slowly, feeling the stress fade with
the carbon dioxide.
    A pair of feet lightly stepped over the fallen pole. Nabiki glanced
at the remaining stump and whistled. "Boy, you must be really angry
today. I thought Ranma and Ryoga were fighting or something."
    Akane gasped. "Nabiki! What are you doing here?"
    "I was out for a walk and saw the path of destruction," the older
sister replied, pointing at the wreckage that had once been the
remainder of the street. "It's not you I was looking for, but maybe it's
a good thing I've found you. What's on your mind?"
    Akane's fingers curled into fists again. "I screwed up. I did
something that makes all the stupid things Ranma's ever done seem...."
    "Come on, it can't be THAT bad. Ranma's gotten himself into some big
messes before, and he always manages to clean them up. I know you don't
like asking him for help, but -"
    "This is the one thing he can't help me with!" Akane shouted. The
thin trails of tears running down her cheeks told Nabiki to shut up and
listen. "He's the one I hurt this time. He was acting really strange,
like he has been, but then he told me he wanted to break up with me!"
    "Just like that? How come?"
    "He was trying to protect me. The demon is trying to kidnap all the
girls who are..." She wanted to say 'in love with him', but she couldn't
get the words out. "... engaged to him."
    "So that's the way it works," said Nabiki, nodding. "Makes sense
now. No engagement, no problem." She paused. "Don't tell me you took him
up on it?"
    "No!" Akane shouted, suddenly embarrassed at opening herself to her
sister. "I mean, it was all so sudden, and before I knew what was
happening, he kissed me."
    Nabiki blinked. "Seriously? He kissed you? Well, congratulations!"
She made as if to give Akane a congratulatory pat on the back, but there
was an important detail missing from the story. "So what went wrong?"
    Akane shook her head slowly. "I don't know. He kissed me... and it
felt like there were a bunch of snails crawling over my face or
something."
    Nabiki grimaced. "Ooh... bad kisser. But it was probably his first
time too. With a girl, anyway," she added, thinking of Mikado Sanzenin.
"That he meant," she added as Shampoo's marriage vow crossed her mind.
"Actually, he's had enough practice by now. There's no excuse." Tumblers
fell into place. "So... you told him he was a bad kisser?"
    "Not... in those words, exactly."
    Nabiki flinched sympathetically. "Ouch. That can't be good."
    "What can I do?" Akane sobbed. "He hates me now, I'm sure of it!"
    "Not much you CAN do," said Nabiki. "You'll just have to give him
some time to get over it and let him come back when he's ready."
    Akane shivered. "I don't know if I have time... the demon will come
again tonight."
    Nabiki carefully kept her expression straight, suppressing her
concern. "So what you're worried about is that Ranma won't be there to
protect you?"
    "No! I mean, yes, but.... Well, what should I do?"
    This time, Nabiki did pat Akane on the shoulder. "I wouldn't worry
too much about that. Even if Ranma is feeling a little bitter about what
you said, he wouldn't let anything happen to you. If the demon comes
after you, that could be a good thing. Ranma will show up, and it'll be
your chance to explain your side of things to Ranma and apologize."
    "But what if he doesn't come?" asked Akane, grabbing Nabiki's hand.
"What if he really doesn't care anymore?"
    "You have to believe in him. He's put his life on the line for you
before. He wouldn't throw all that away because of something you said.
Besides, when have the two of you ever NOT insulted each other?"
    "Still... could you talk to him for me? Make sure he knows I didn't
mean it, and get him to come back...."
    Nabiki pulled a black book out of her pocket and opened it. "Let's
see... how does ten thousand sound?"
    "You're CHARGING me?"
    Nabiki shrugged. "Hey, you're putting me in a really bad spot here.
Plus, I'd have to find him first, and that's going to take time. Time I
would normally be spending to bring in money to feed the three families
living under our roof. And, of course, pay for the damage you've been
causing. You probably don't realize how much our taxes have gone up
since Ranma arrived."
    Akane sat down heavily on the fallen utility pole. "It's no use.
Maybe I should take his advice and just give up on him. It'll never work
out."
    Nabiki sat down next to her. "There's just one thing I think you
should know."
    "What's that?"
    Nabiki held out her hands with her palms down. "Put your hands out
like this."
    Akane did so.
    "Now, look at them."
    Akane examined the backs of her hands. Contrary to the old adage,
she didn't really pay much attention to them, but she wasn't entirely
surprised to see how smooth they were. She could just barely see the
veins beneath the skin. "What about them?"
    "Last time you tore up the town, your hands were so bruised and
bloody that Kasumi had to go buy an extra roll of bandages just to keep
them intact all the way to Dr. Tofu's office. Remember?"
    "That was a long time ago," said Akane, beginning to see what Nabiki
was getting at.
    "You can't even tell that you've been punching down telephone poles
and walls, can you? You've become that much stronger since Ranma moved
here. You've spent so much time fighting and breaking bricks in the
backyard that you can punch through steel without breaking your hand.
Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
    Akane blinked. "Not really. I'm still nowhere near Ranma's level."
    "But you're trying. For the first time in years, you've been
struggling to improve. You've got someone to look up to. And when's the
last time you were jealous of his abilities?"
    "I... don't remember."
    Nabiki nodded her satisfaction. "I'll see if I can find him. I
expect he'll want to set things right as much as you do."
*************************************************
    "That's it! I'm through with Akane!" shouted Ranma as he stormed
through the gate of the Tendo Dojo.
    "Oh, my!" Kasumi gasped, turning away from the flowers she was
watering to face him. "Did the two of you have an argument?" She gasped
again as the hose in her hand sprayed him. "Oops!"
    Ranma wiped the water from her face and slumped, her sails devoid of
the wind that had sustained them. "Oh, never mind. It doesn't matter
anymore. I'm gonna be out of here by tomorrow anyway."
    Kasumi quickly pointed the hose back toward the flowers. "What's
wrong? I don't think I've ever seen you this upset about anything
before! Are you really planning to move out?"
    "I don't do anything around here but cause trouble anyway. The
demon's here because of me, Akane hates me, and the whole forced
marriage thing makes no sense at all."
    "I'm sure she doesn't hate you," Kasumi assured her, forcing a
smile. "She just loses her temper sometimes and says things she doesn't
mean. I'm sure you've noticed it."
    "Ain't what I noticed," Ranma groused. "Look, it's pretty clear she
wants me gone, and I want to BE gone. So I'm moving out."
    "Do you need help packing your things?" asked Kasumi.
    Ranma shook herself as dry as she could manage. "Thanks, I'm fine."
    Kasumi turned the water off and dropped the hose. "At least let me
put on a kettle of hot water for you."
    "Sure, why not," said Ranma with a sigh. "Guess I'd better face the
world as a man for once."
    "You always look down on yourself because of your gender-changing,"
Kasumi pointed out. "It's really not your fault, nor can you control it.
Why can't you just embrace your nature and learn to live as you are?"
    "It's not that easy," said Ranma. "It's fine to say there's nothing
wrong with being a girl, but my whole life has been people drilling
manliness into my head. 'Be a man, Ranma!' 'This is what being a man is
all about!' 'If you don't come back as a real man, I'll make you run
yourself through!'"
    "And what is manliness?"
    Ranma blinked. "Manliness is... being like a man, right?"
    Kasumi smiled. "I've always felt that the most important thing in
life is to be true to yourself. No matter what quality you consider to
be 'manly', you'll find a woman who exhibits more of it than most men.
And the most respected men in the world have a feminine side as well.
Don't you think you'd be happier if you allowed what you are to be what
you want to be?"
    Ranma recognized that impeccable logic. "Have you been reading that
'How to Be More Assertive' book?" she asked.
    Kasumi shook her head. "Is it good? It seems to be very popular."
    "I never heard of it until today," said Ranma. "Then I found out the
Amazons were kidnapping me and brainwashing me with it."
    "That sounds like a troubling experience!" She laid a finger across
her lips. "But perhaps there would be some benefit in learning from such
a useful book."
    "It ruined my life," grumbled Ranma.
    "There you go!" exclaimed Kasumi, the smile returning to her face.
"That's a step in the right direction!"
    "The right direction?" asked Ranma. "What direction is that?"
    "You've moved past blaming your Jusenkyo curse for all of your
problems," Kasumi pointed out.
    Ranma cupped her breasts. "These things may not be all of my
problems, but my life would sure be a lot better without them."
    "Why? What would you have gained? And how would it make up for what
you'd lose by not being able to experience life from a woman's point of
view?"
    Ranma blinked. "Isn't it obvious? I wouldn't have to be afraid of
water!"
    Kasumi shrugged. "No one likes getting wet."
    "Kuno wouldn't be trying to go out with me."
    "Which means he would be fixated entirely on Akane. Would that be
preferable?"
    Ranma stared at her, speechless.
    "Perhaps you need some more time to yourself. I'll go start some
water boiling for you in the meantime." And with that, she swept into
the house, leaving Ranma outside like a child asked to think about what
she'd done wrong.
    Several minutes later, her deep thought was interrupted by a strong
fist in the back of her head. "What are you doing, Ranma?" demanded
Genma. "If it's that easy to sneak up on you, you're getting sloppy!
We're going to have to put in some extra training!"
    Ranma hurled him into the koi pond. "Train that, old man! I'm
through listening to you!"
    Genma stood up and adjusted his glasses menacingly. [What are you
talking about, boy?]
    Soun, who had been watching the proceedings from the back porch,
nodded. "Your father has made many sacrifices for you, Ranma. The least
you can do is show him the proper respect."
    Ranma choked back a laugh. Maybe this was what Kasumi was talking
about.
    "What's so funny?" asked Soun.
    "I think I finally figured out why my life's been so screwed up,"
said Ranma. "I've been letting other people tell me what to do my whole
life. 'Fight this guy. Marry this girl. Dive into this spring full of
cursed water that'll turn you into a girl.' It's gotta stop. I'm gonna
go crazy if it doesn't stop."
    Soun held up his hands placatingly. "Calm down, son. There's no need
for that."
    "You're right," said Ranma. "There's no need for it. That's why I'm
leaving."
    "Ah, good idea," agreed Soun. "You could use a break from the
routine. Perhaps a training trip...."
    Genma tapped him on the shoulder with a claw. [He's not talking
about a vacation.]
    "Is that it, Ranma?" asked Soun. "Are you planning to run away?"
    "Soon as I can pack."
    "Absolutely not! I forbid it!" shouted Soun. "I took you under my
roof with the intention that you would marry Akane and inherit the
dojo!"
    "She's the one who called off the engagement," replied Ranma. "She's
got someone else to marry now."
    "Then you can marry Nabiki... or even Kasumi!"
    "Kasumi's marrying a doctor... and I doubt Nabiki would see a profit
in marrying me. But it's pretty obvious you care more about passing on
your dojo than you do about your daughters' feelings. Otherwise, you
wouldn't even have made that offer just now."
    Soun sputtered. "Well, when you put it that way, I...." He turned
and grabbed Genma's elbow. "He's your son, Saotome. You set him
straight."
    Genma rolled onto his back and curled around a giant beach ball.
[I'm an ordinary panda.]
    "You can't shirk your responsibility that easily!" shouted Soun.
"Why do you think Ranma turned out so rebellious? A lack of proper
parental discipline, that's why!"
    Genma turned the sign around. [His mother's fault.]
    Soun grasped his mouth firmly in one hand and pulled on his
mustache. "In any case, Ranma, you have an obligation to your family and
mine, and you will fulfill it. End of story!"
    Ranma shook her head in disdain and shrugged. "Like I already told
you, Akane's the one you need to give that speech to. She's the one who
called off the engagement."
    Metal clanged on the porch as Kasumi dropped the teakettle she'd
brought out. "Oh my! Is that what happened? No wonder you're so
distraught!"
    "I'm not distraught," said Ranma as she picked up the fallen kettle.
"I'm leaving."
    "I think you should reconsider," said Kasumi. "Akane has a tendency
to say things she doesn't mean. She'll come to regret it sooner or
later."
    "If that's true, yes she will," said Ranma, upending the kettle over
herself. "Because I don't plan to be here when she does."
    Kasumi shook her head sadly. "Vengeance is a terrifying thing." She
bent down and picked up the hose. "Well, I can't stand in your way, but
I wish you'd think about Akane's feelings."
    Ranma shuddered. That was just what he'd told their fathers.
    The gate flew open and Akane ran into the yard. "Kasumi, have you
seen -" She stopped as she saw Ranma standing in front of the door.
"Ranma!"
    Ranma scowled. "Oh, sorry. I meant to be gone before you got back,
but I got held up."
    "Ranma, wait," Akane protested. "You don't understand. What happened
before... that was a mistake."
    "Whose mistake?"
    "I didn't mean it!"
    Ranma turned his back on her. "Sorry. I thought we were supposed to
be engaged. I know you think it's disgusting that I turn into a girl,
but -" The cold spray of water from the hose cut Ranma off before he
could finish the sentence.
    "Oh, I'm sorry, Ranma!" said Kasumi. "I just thought -" Ranma's
angry glare cut her off. Kasumi meekly went back to her task.
    "Ranma, that's not it," Akane asserted. "I don't know what happened
earlier. But the fact that you turn into a girl really doesn't bother me
anymore."
    Nabiki stepped through the open gate. "Oh, there you are, Ranma!
Akane wanted me to tell you that the kiss earlier -" She stopped as she
saw who else was in the yard. "Was this a bad time?"
    Soun and Genma loomed over Ranma and Akane. "Did you kiss her, son?"
Soun asked eagerly. "How was it? Give us all the details!"
    Genma whacked him over the head with a sign that said [She's your
daughter, you moron!]
    "Aha!" Happosai exclaimed, nodding sagely as he sat atop the open
gate. "All the pieces of the puzzle fall into place." He pointed an
accusing finger at Akane. "My young student gave you the honor of his
kiss, and you recoiled in disgust!"
    "Whadda ya mean, pieces?" asked Ranma. "You just got here a few
seconds ago!"
    "He was watching when you two kissed," replied Nabiki.
    "And how did you know THAT?" asked Happosai suspiciously.
    "Lucky guess."
    Happosai snorted. "That doesn't matter. The important thing is that
there's only one way Akane can prove to Ranma that she really doesn't
mind his curse." He leapt to the pavement between the two and pulled
them toward each other. "Now, pucker up, you two!"
    Akane's face turned bright red. "I can't! Not in front of everyone!"
    Ranma crossed her arms. "Not like you could do it when nobody was
watching."
    "FINE!" Akane grabbed Ranma's sleeve and hauled her aside, then
pushed past her and grabbed the kettle from the porch. "But I'm turning
you back first!"
    "But that takes all the fun out of it!" Happosai protested. "I mean,
you're disgusted with Ranma's female side, so obviously you need to kiss
when -"
    Akane's foot sent him flying before he could finish his explanation.
"I knew it! He's still nothing but a dirty old man!"
    "So, we gonna do this or not?" asked Ranma.
    Akane stared at her. "But he was just -"
    "He was right," said Ranma. "I need to know the truth. Is it me...
or him?"
    "Him? Him who?"
    Nabiki leaned down to whisper into Akane's ear. "You're losing
momentum...."
    Akane shook her head and raised the kettle. "Fine. We'll have your
kiss right here, in front of everyone. And then I never want to hear you
grumbling about me hating your girl side again."
    "Fine by me," Ranma agreed.
    Everyone watched excitedly as Akane tipped the kettle. Kasumi turned
to watch as well, inadvertently spraying Ranma's left side with cold
water as the warm water ran down her right side.
    Ranma shuddered. "That felt weird." He patted himself down to see
which gender he had become. However, he got mixed results. The curves
that his left hand passed over were nowhere to be found on his right
side. And his entire body felt slanted to the left. "What the heck
happened to me?" His voice sounded strange, too... rather raspy, and
just a bit higher pitched than he was used to.
    He turned to Akane for an explanation, but she backed away from him,
her mouth agape. The teakettle fell from her limp fingers and clanged to
the ground. Cold water sprayed everywhere as Kasumi lost her grip on the
hose.
    "What's going on?" asked Ranma, ignoring the droplets that landed
all over him.
    "Ranma... does the word 'hermaphrodite' mean anything to you?" asked
Nabiki, the only one calm enough to speak. "Because you've just turned
into one."
    Ranma gave his chest another feel. "You mean... I'm half-guy,
half-girl?"
    "It's pretty weird," agreed Nabiki. "And the cold water doesn't seem
to be changing you back."
    Ranma sighed calmly. "It's fine. This is nothing to get worked up
over. Obviously, the cold water's not affecting me because I was in the
middle of changing to my male form. I'll just have to use hot water to
finish the change." He turned to address his mute audience. "Kasumi,
could you turn the hose off already? I think the flowers have had enough
water by now. Akane, hit me with some hot water."
    Kasumi obligingly turned the hose off while Akane retrieved the
fallen kettle. "Ranma," she asked, "what if this doesn't work? What if
you're stuck that way forever?"
    "I don't intend to find out," replied Ranma. "I know this is gonna
work."
    Akane handed him the kettle, and he poured it over his head, waiting
for the familiar sensation of his body changing. It didn't come.
    "I think you're stuck that way," Nabiki said at last.
    Ranma dropped the kettle and breathed heavily. "Okay, don't panic. I
just have to stay calm, and...."
    "And?" prompted Akane, when he failed to continue.
    "And nothing!" Ranma screamed, grabbing his hair. "I'm stuck as a
half-man, half-woman for the rest of my life! Of course I'm not calm!
Screw being calm and thinking about stuff! Look where that got me!"
    "But it wasn't -" Akane began.
    Ranma thrust a finger into Akane's face. "You! This is all your
fault! If it wasn't for that stupid kissing problem...!"
    "You were the one who insisted we do it anyway!" Akane shouted back
before she could stop herself. "Besides, how was I supposed to know
that -?"
    "Well, I hope you're happy," said Ranma, spreading his arms as if
putting his body on display. "You were always saying I was a freak. I
guess now I really am."
    "That's not what I meant!" Akane protested. "Quit being such a
jerk!"
    "There's the Akane I'm used to," Ranma said triumphantly. "Guess you
want me out of your sight, huh?"
    "Would you stop twisting everything I say around?" Akane demanded
angrily.
    Ranma leaned closer until his nose was almost touching hers. "Now
you know how I felt," he declared triumphantly. Turning to address the
audience at large, he continued, "Well, obviously I can't possibly marry
Akane in this state, so there's really no point in me hanging around
here."
    Akane reached out to grab Ranma's arm, but he stepped out of reach.
"Wait!"
    "Goodbye, Akane," Ranma said sadly. "I hope you find someone who
makes you happy." He leapt over the garden wall in a single bound, a
thin trail of tears sparkling in the light of the setting sun. "Goodbye
forever!" he called back as he raced out of Akane's life.
    Too stunned to chase after him, Akane sank to her knees on the
walkway and sniffed. "What have I done?" she asked herself. "Was I
really... that horrible?"
    Nabiki enthusiastically patted Akane on the shoulder. "Way to go,
Akane! That's the way to take his mind off his problems!"
    Akane's fist clenched around her skirt, the only thing preventing it
from squeezing her sister's throat. "What are you talking about? He's
gone!" Her muscles gave way to her sorrow, and she relaxed her grip. "I
was supposed to be apologizing and making up with him. But after all the
times I've yelled at him and told him I hate him... I guess it was too
late. I'll never get to tell him the truth."
    "Oh, I'm sure he'll be back," Kasumi assured her. "He forgot his
things."
    Akane turned to look up at Kasumi with hope in her tear-filled eyes.
    Nabiki smiled. "He was just being dramatic. He probably wanted to
make you feel guilty so you'd be on equal footing. He can't stay mad
forever."
    "And when he does come back, you'll know just what to say to make
everything better," added Kasumi.
    "And what's that?" asked Akane.
    Nabiki and Kasumi looked at each other, then smiled at Akane.
"You'll figure it out before then," said Kasumi.
    A tiny snout nuzzled Akane's hand, and she gratefully picked up her
pet pig. "Thank you, P-chan. Let's go inside. Ranma will come back soon,
and I need to figure out what to do."
    "Bwee!" P-chan agreed happily.
*************************************************
    Mousse roughly pushed the kitchen door open and strode into the Cat
Cafe. "What's going on in QUACK!" The last word was rather muffled by
the metal bucket that had landed on his head.
    Cologne groaned. "Razor, dump out that bucket and put it back under
the door. Shampoo, bring him some hot water. Mousse... try, at some
point, to do something remotely helpful. Just once."
    Mousse quacked sorrowfully as Razor picked up the bucket.
    Shampoo sneered at him with disdain as she poured her water on his
head. "Maybe duck be more help."
    Mousse snatched up his robe and quickly put it on. "Well, who put
that bucket of water over the door in the first place?"
    "It's a trap for the demon," replied Cologne. "It's chosen Ranma's
male form, which means that it can't assume his female form as well. A
splash of cold water will tell us which one we're dealing with."
    The memory of his dream gave Mousse a chill. "The black cloud demon
that's after Shampoo?"
    "Of course, stupid boy," snapped Cologne, glaring at the three tin
cans in front of her. "And at this rate, we'll never be ready for it."
She grabbed a fresh can from the pile behind her and placed it in the
gap in the row in front of her. "Not even three of the four is good
enough."
    Mousse scratched his head. "What's going on here? What are you doing
with those cans?"
    "Great-grandmother practicing secret technique," replied Shampoo as
Cologne's aura flared, bathing the entire room in eerie blue light. "You
interrupt, make her miss last time."
    "What kind of technique is it?" asked Mousse, watching the
preparation carefully.
    "Demons for destroying forbidden ancient technique being it," said
Razor. "Execution explaining not will she."
    "It's far too dangerous for you to use," warned Cologne. "When
performed properly, this technique is capable of channeling huge amounts
of chi, far beyond normal human abilities even for skilled fighters such
as us. It can shorten your life expectancy by decades."
    "Do you have decades left?" asked Mousse. "Doing something like that
could kill you!"
    "He right, Great-grandmother!" shouted Shampoo. "Please, teach us
technique instead!"
    Mousse put his hand on her shoulder. "Wait, Shampoo. Let's see where
she's going with this."
    With a mighty battle cry, Cologne swung her staff down over her
head, aiming for the gap between the two cans in the center. A blur
obscured her motion, and as it ended, three of the cans exploded.
Cologne frowned. "It's still not quite right."
    Mousse stared curiously at the can that remained. "What is this
technique?" he asked. "The ancient Amazon art of the can opener?"
    Cologne spun around and whacked him on the head with her staff,
knocking his glasses to the floor.
    "Ow!" he cried, pressing a hand to his face. "What was that for? It
was just a joke!"
    "That was for the thinly veiled death threat," she replied. She
brought the butt of the staff down hard on his foot. "THAT was for the
bad joke."
    Mousse hopped to the far side of the kitchen while Shampoo replaced
the three cans that Cologne's latest effort had destroyed. "Please,
Great-grandmother, teach us secret technique! You no have to do it for
Shampoo sake!"
    Cologne shook her head. "Even if I could... there is no time. The
sun is setting, and the demon will be here soon."
    "First here coming will the demon knowing how you?" asked Razor.
"First Akane kidnapping trying could it."
    "No," Cologne replied darkly. "It will leave Akane until last. Of
that, I am certain."
    "Why?" asked Shampoo.
    "Because, despite appearances, Akane is the closest to Ranma and
always has been. She's always the last one to go." She swung her staff
angrily at the row of cans. The two in the center flattened from the
non-impact, while the two on the ends of the row merely fell over from
the force of the near-misses. "Almost. I can feel it in my grasp. The
forbidden technique...."
    The door opened again, and Ranma strode through. "Hey, old bag, I'm
back!" he called out, leaning back to kick the bucket before it could
tip. The water splashed harmlessly on the floor behind the door as he
straightened up. "So what's with the water trap?"
    "Ranma, you came!" Shampoo shouted excitedly.
    Cologne held her staff in front of her and stood between Ranma and
the other teens. "Everyone, run! That's the demon!"
    The demon's expression darkened. "What gave it away? True, I can't
change into a female body, but the water never touched me!"
    "The real Ranma would never have been able to avoid being splashed,"
explained Cologne. "A trap isn't always what it seems on the surface."
    The demon sneered. "Well played, old woman. But you can't stop me. I
will have my prize."
    "We Amazons have learned a few things since the last time your kind
attacked us," said Cologne, building up her aura for the forbidden
technique.
    "I fear nothing you can do to me," said the demon, crossing its arms
defiantly. "But if you insist, I will defeat you before taking your
girl."
    Cologne glanced over her shoulder just long enough to confirm that
everyone was still standing behind her. "I told you to run! Get Shampoo
away from here!"
    "We're staying!" shouted Mousse as he prepared to defend a pot of
ramen. "You haven't finished learning that technique yet!"
    "Shut up, boy!" shouted Cologne. "You've said too much!"
    The demon's eyebrows rose. "Technique, you say? A technique powerful
enough to defeat me?" It dropped into a fighting stance. "My art compels
me to witness it in action."
    Cologne's aura vanished. "What's your game, demon? Do you want to be
destroyed?"
    The demon laughed. "What? Oh, no, I don't think I'll be destroyed! I
haven't yet fulfilled my purpose. My master wouldn't allow me to be
defeated yet."
    "Who is your master?" demanded Cologne. "Who has summoned you, and
for what purpose?"
    "A purpose that cannot be served by telling you its nature," replied
the demon, "for a master of similar secrecy. Now, show me this so-called
forbidden technique, or I'll destroy you where you stand."
    Cologne grasped her staff firmly and filled the room with her aura
once again. "Very well. But your arrogance will be your undoing!"
    "Elder, no!" shouted Razor. "That technique mastering yet not have
you!"
    "You'd be amazed at what you can do when you have to," she replied.
With that, she leapt toward the demon. "Heaven-Cleaving Strike of the
Four Gods! SHISEIJIN TENBUNKEN!"
    The demon raised its arms to block her strike, but in that instant,
Cologne disappeared. Before the demon could react, she was above it. And
behind it. And on both sides. The four copies of Cologne swung their
staffs simultaneously at blinding speeds, aiming for the demon's heart
from four directions at once.
    And as they struck home, the demon was standing on the two staffs to
either side, holding each of the other staffs in its hands. "Not a bad
technique," it said slyly, bending over backwards to stare into the eyes
of one of the Colognes. "But even if you had it perfect, it wouldn't
have worked." With that, the demon brought its arms together, slamming
the heads of two of the clones together with bone-crushing force. The
other two quickly backed away, slumping weakly against the walls.
    "Incredible!" cried Mousse. "Those aren't illusions! All six of them
are real!"
    Shampoo irately jammed Mousse's glasses onto his face. "Come on,
stupid! We leave now!"
    "You just want to leave her here with that thing?" asked Mousse.
    "If Great-grandmother no can beat demon, we have no chance!" shouted
Shampoo. "It after me anyway. We leave, it come after us, then
Great-grandmother safe."
    "How heedlessly noble," said the demon. "But I can't let you leave
this room."
    The sudden rush of water from the tap drew everyone's attention to
the sink, where one of the conscious Colognes was filling a bucket with
hot water. "Razor, bring the demon to Shampoo, and hurry!" she shouted,
hurling the contents of the bucket at Razor. Black smoke poured from his
clothing as Cologne collapsed, her energy spent.
    "Shampoo, run!" whispered Razor as he formed a wall across the
kitchen, separating the demon from its prey.
    The demon stared calmly into the cloud. "You can't stop me. You
forget two important things. First, I don't depend on water for my
transformation." It thrust an arm forward and sent a tendril of
pulsating black mist deep into Razor. The demon's sick glow quickly
spread through Razor's body as the two demons merged into a single mass.
    No sooner had the last of the demon entered Razor than a jet of mist
shot out of the cloud like oil spurting from a hole in a pipeline. Razor
splattered against the far wall, leaving a long black smear as he slowly
ran down into a spreading puddle on the floor.
    The demon resumed its human form and wiped its hands triumphantly.
"Demon on demon combat can be so messy. Well, it shouldn't be too hard
to clean up before the health inspectors come around. There are four of
you, after all."
    Cologne looked up just long enough to see that, for once, Mousse and
Shampoo had done something sensible and vanished while Razor had kept
the demon occupied. "They've escaped," sighed another Cologne, using her
staff to climb to her feet. "And I don't think you can catch up to them,
can you? If you could, you'd have chased Ukyo down last night."
    "There's no need for that," replied the demon.
    Cologne's blood froze. "What do you mean by that?"
    "I told you, there were two things you forgot. Have you figured out
what the second one was yet?"
    Cologne staggered toward the door. "What was it?"
    The demon smiled. "You forgot to warn them not to run to Ranma."
    Cologne shuddered. True, it was a fundamental principle of running
away that one should never run to an obvious place, but neither Shampoo
nor Mousse had ever bothered with principles that didn't involve
fighting. Of course they'd run to the one person Cologne had been
telling them all along was the only one who could protect them.
    "Exactly," said the demon, as if reading her thoughts. "I don't
think I'll have any problem finding her before the sun comes up."
    "What happens when the sun comes up?" Cologne asked suspiciously.
    "It will be a new day," replied the demon. "A day without your
darling great-granddaughter."
    Cologne's grip on her staff tightened, but before she could do
anything to stop it, the demon swept out of the room. "Meals are free
tonight!" it announced to the dining room. "The proprietor will be
inconsolable with grief over the loss of her heir."
    Cologne snarled. One of her selves grabbed a bucket and filled it
with ice cubes from the freezer. "Come on, Razor. We've got to get to
Shampoo. If I'm right, the demon may yet have a weakness. And if we
hurry, we may be able to save her."

---------------------------------------------------

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it himself.

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