I was cleaning up my hard drive, and came upon this story which
I'd released to the FFML in 1998, but I've never put on my website,
so I thought I'd re-release it here, for those of you who've come
into fanfiction in the last seven years...
I've fixed a couple of typos, but otherwise this is the same story
I released in '98.
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Date: Mon, 10 Aug 1998 20:26:34 -0700
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Escape from the wacky world of Ranma 1/2
By Joseph Palmer
"Hiroshi, I was thinking...."
"That's new."
"No, really I was."
"About Ranma's naked body no doubt."
"Shut up, Daisuke. No, I was thinking about what someone said on
the FFML last week."
"What? You still read that?"
"Yeah. Anyway someone mentioned something about escaping the wacky
world of Nerima, and now it's stuck in my mind."
"Do you really want to leave?"
"Well, maybe for a while. I'd like to see some action, you know."
"You just want to see some bouncing chests not attached to a guy."
"Shut up. I just wish to experience something a little gritty, you
know." Daisuke finished washing his hands and dried them on his
handkerchief. He pulled out a comb and began to straiten his hair in
the mirror above the sink. "I just wish..."
His image in the mirror dissolved, and for a moment there was
nothing there, like he didn't exist. A moment later a young woman's
face appeared, then pushed through the mirror. "You rang?" she asked.
Hiroshi pushed past his friend. "It's Belldandy, isn't it?"
"No, Belldandy's busy, she left me watching the shop. My name is
Ryouko."
"We don't het a Goddess then?"
Ryouko's hand pushed through the mirror and moved to cup Daisuke's
cheek. At the last moment she tweaked his nose instead.
"Ouch. Hey -- that hurt."
"Likewise, little boy. Anyway, I understand you have a wish to
travel."
"Can you do that?"
"Me? No, But I think I can get Washu to whip something up. Be
right back." Ryouko slid back through the mirror.
Daisuke and Hiroshi looked at each other. "Should we leave?"
Hiroshi asked.
"I really don't like the way this is going."
"What are you afraid of?"
"In case you hadn't noticed, It looks like it's just you, and me,
and Ryouko."
"So?"
"Look at the Subject line. It says [Dark]."
Ryouko appeared in a flash, and held out a parchment contract.
"Sign here."
Hiroshi jumped back. "You want our souls?"
"No, idiot. You're signing for the remote. It's a $50.00 charge if
you loose it, so you better hold on to it tight. Washu wants it back."
Daisuke looked over the document. It was a video rental agreement
with the word 'video' scratched out and 'remote' written in. "What's
with the parchment?"
Ryouko began to steam. "It was in the printer, Okay? Jeez. It's all
the Goddess agency stocks."
"Okay then." Daisuke pulled a pen from his pocket and signed the
parchment.
"EEEP! WHAT DID YOU DO?" Hiroshi squealed.
"Relax, it's just a normal rental agreement."
Ryouko reached into her cleavage and pulled out a slim black box.
"Let's see, you wanted to escape the wacky world of Ranma 1/2 and
Experience a little grit, right?."
"Yeah."
"Okay. It'll just be a moment. I have to program it." Ryouko poked
at the keys for a while then held it up to Daisuke. "Both of you,
hold on." Hiroshi reached in and gingerly touched the remote. "You
just put in a channel number, then hit enter."
"Just like a TV?"
"More than you know." Ryouko reached over and covering the keypad
with her hand, she pushed a button.
The Boy's room of Furinkan dissolved into a tropical beach. Only
this beach was strewn with broken wood, and here and groups of birds
were pecking in the debris.
"Where are we? Where's Ryouko?" Hiroshi looked about in panic.
"I don't think we're in Nerima anymore." Daisuke examined the
remote. "There's a display here, it says New Guinea."
"New Guinea? What are we doing here?"
"You wanted an escape from your wacky world, didn't you?" A tiny
projection of Ryouko hovered over the remote.
"Why aren't you here with us?"
"Silly boy. I like where I am. The only grit I go for is on the
beach."
"But this is the beach."
"I know," Ryouko said sadly. Then she disappeared.
Daisuke walked along a bit. "Maybe we'll see some giant robots or
sexy hard suits. This sort of looks like a battle zone."
Hiroshi walked with him. "There's someone ahead, should we go talk
to them?"
"Yeah, I suppose. Maybe they know where the action is."
They came to the old man who was stringing flowers into a wreath.
He held it up. "My son. His wife. My granddaughter, and my two grand-
sons." With each name, he added one of the flowers. He stood and walked
strait at Hiroshi, who stumbled to get out of the way. The old man
walked right through him and on to the waterline. Daisuke and Hiroshi
followed, looking at each other, wondering if what they just saw really
happened. The old man held the wreath to the sea, then put it on and
walked out into the surf.
"Ryouko! Help! We have to do something." Daisuke screamed into the
remote. Hiroshi grabbed at it and the world went dark.
Daisuke sucked a breath, but it filled his throat with dust.
"Where are we?" he croaked.
Hiroshi began to cough and gag. "What is that smell?"
"Well, well. You must have changed channels. Gritty enough for
you?" The image of Ryouko glowed over the remote.
"Where are we?"
"I don't know." Ryouko said, leaning over the display. "Push the
little button on the side." Daisuke did, and the display lit up.
Ryouko read it. "Nairobi Kenya."
"Kenya, isn't that in Africa?" Hiroshi asked.
"Yeah, didn't you pay attention in class?"
"What's in Nairobi?"
"This building, or what's left of it." Ryouko hugged herself.
"You're on CNN."
"What?"
"CNN. That American cable news channel. That's the channel you
picked."
"For real?"
Ryouko sat slowly and buried her face in her knees. "That's the
point."
"What are we doing here?"
"Well, I suppose you're waiting with the others to be rescued."
"Others?"
"Some. Not so many now."
"Daisuke, I want to go home. Push some buttons. Get us home,"
Hiroshi whispered. "Ryouko, please, what channel to get home?"
Ryouko shook her head slowly. "I programmed all of the channels
for news. That's what they get. You wanted grit. Well, here it is."
"Then there's no way to get home?"
"Not by picking a channel."
"Then how do we escape?"
"There's only one way. The same way they do," Ryouko said. Then
she flickered and disappeared.
"Hiroshi, what did she mean?" The panic was evident in Daisuke's
voice. "Let me see the remote."
Daisuke held out the remote, but did not let go.
"Push that light button again."
"Okay."
Hiroshi let out a sigh of relief, followed by a choking cough.
"It's okay. I know what she meant. Hold on."
Both of them held the remote.
Hiroshi pushed the play button.
August, 1998
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FYI, I picked events that I'd seen on CNN that very week for
this story:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1998_U.S._embassy_bombings
http://walrus.wr.usgs.gov/tsunami/PNGhome.html
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