Subject: [FFML] [Spamfic][Ranma] The Books of Doctor Tofu, Fifth Impression
From: "Larry F" <lwf58@cvalley.net>
Date: 9/25/2005, 9:54 PM
To:


The Books of Doctor Tofu
A set of spamfics by Larry F

Disclaimer: Ranma � is owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz
Video. I'm just playing with the characters and setting.

**********

"Going out, Ranma? Will you be passing by Doctor Tofu's clinic?"

"Yeah. Was there somethin' you wanted, Kasumi?"

"Yes. Please take this back to him. If it's not too much trouble, I'd also
like to borrow the next book in this series," she said as she handed Ranma a
heavy brown tome.

"Sure, no problem." Ranma accepted the book and went to put his shoes on.

***

Ranma walked into Doctor Tofu's acupuncture clinic and called out for the
proprietor. "Hey, doc? You here? Here's your book back. Can I get the next
one?"

The doctor came out of a back room and took a look at the title. "Oh, sorry,
Ranma. To tell you the truth, that isn't my book. I borrowed it from
Cologne. If you'll take it back to her, I'm sure she'll let you have the
next volume."

***

Cologne came out of the kitchen of the Nekohanten when she heard the chime
of the door opening. To her amazement, it was the last person she'd expect
to see there voluntarily. "Hello, son-in-law. I'm surprised to see you here
on your day off. Did you come to ask Shampoo out?"

Ranma blanched. "Er... Nah, nothin' like that. I just brought back the book
you loaned to Doc Tofu, and want t' know if I can borrow the next one for
Kasumi."

Cologne glanced at the title of the book. "Oh, that isn't my book. I
borrowed it from Happi last week. Sorry, but you've made the trip out here
for nothing."

***

Happousai wet the tip of his index finger, and then touched it quickly to
the bottom of the iron. 'Perfect. Not too hot, not too cold.' He began to
press a delicate bit of lacy lingerie.

"Hey, you in there, old geezer?"

Happousai frowned at the flippant tone of the boy's voice. "Show some
respect for your betters, boy."

Ranma slid open the door to the master bedroom of the Tendo home, and stared
at the piles of stolen ladies' undergarments that surrounded the ancient
pervert. "Gah. That is wrong on so many levels, y'know."

Happousai glared at the impertinent youth. "Don't knock it if you haven't
tried it, whelp. Now, if you've nothing else to say, the door's behind you."

"You think I want to be here in the first place? I just need to find the
next book after this one for Kasumi."

"Then you're wasting my time. I don't have any of those books."

"Well, why'd Cologne say she borrowed it from you?"

"Her definition of 'borrow' is a little different. She took it out of my bag
when I was resting after a bunch of naughty ladies beat me up for liberating
some lovelies from their captivity on a clothesline at the university
dorms."

"What was it doing in your bag, then?"

"It might have somehow ended up in there when I passed through Jimbocho. I'm
not sure, but I think I got it from a lovely young woman I met on Yasukuni
Dori. You'll have no problem recognizing her. All of the shopkeepers have
pictures of her in their stores."

'They all have pictures? Huh. Wonder if she's an actress or singer?' As
Ranma slowly walked up the hallway towards the front door of the house, he
realized glumly that what he thought would be an easy errand was turning out
to be anything but.

***

Hours later, an exhausted Ranma arrived back at the Tendo home, tail
dragging metaphorically. 'Man, oh man,' Ranma thought to himself. 'That was
one crazy broad. And the way she was doin' that crazy dance around the
bookstores on Yasukuni Dori! If Doc Tofu liked to dress in drag, I bet he'd
act like that.'

Trudging to the kitchen, where he could hear the sounds of pots on the boil,
he prepared to face Kasumi and own up to his failure carry out his errand.
"Kasumi...?"

"Welcome home, Ranma. How has your day been?"

"Kasumi, I'm sorry, but nobody seemed to know whose book this is, so I
couldn't return it or get the other one."

Kasumi turned around to greet the tired teenager, and then gasped. "Oh dear.
I'm the one who should be apologizing, Ranma. That book belongs to me." She
picked up a black covered book from the kitchen counter. "-This- is the book
that I meant to return. I only noticed that I'd given you the wrong book
after you left."

'I'm a man, mustn't cry. I'm a man, mustn't cry. I'm a man, mustn't cry....'


**********


Author's notes: This isn't really a mystery fusion, but the clues to the
unnamed girl are fairly heavy-handed. Most of you shouldn't have much
trouble catching on to who she is.  ^_^



     Ja mata,
     Larry F

     The Lost Library of Florestica
     http://florestica.com/

     La Biblioteca Perdida de Phantasia
     (The Lost Library of Phantasia)
     http://phantasiaca.tripod.com/ 

     Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!! The Early Years
     http://nettg.com/



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