arun prabhu wrote:

Under the starstudded night sky, he stood his feet
bare. He was in his pants in the middle of a forest
and the soft breeze rustling against his skin soothed
his soul.

It wasn't a dark and stormy night?

"Starstudded night sky" is redundant.  I'd suggest removing the 
"night."  Also it's "Star-studded"

You need a comma between "he stood" and "his feet."  Otherwise he's 
"standing his feet,"  as in "he stood his walking stick against the door"

"In his pants" is phrased like "in a boat" it should probably be 
"dressed in only his pants."  Otherwise he could be wearing a trench 
coat and fake mustache for all we know.

He closed his eyes and allowed himself to
revel in the perfection of the moment. He remained
thus for a long while until the hint of a whisper in
the wind broke him out of his reverie. The voice
 

You're starting to loose that "Mythic dream" voice here.  The sequence 
is short enough, and this IS the beginning of the prologue, you should 
keep the same style throughout. 

belonged to a girl and it was laden with pain. It
called to him using his name and he instinctively
started walking toward it. His aura ignited around him
on its own accord, but he was oblivious to it, just as
he was oblivious to everything else around him. Night
turned to day as he walked and forest to desert,
 

Are you saying his aura was so bright it lit the surroundings?  If not, 
this should be in a separate paragraph.

He's starting to sound like Ryoga, shifting from forest to desert, day 
to night without noticing...probably on purpose.

mountain, valley and back again. And he still kept
walking. He walked and he walked until he reached a
dark forest of fossilized trees. A feeling of power
hung in the air and for the first time since the start
of his journey, he became aware of his surroundings.
He looked around and noted the caricatures of long
dead trees and a sense of ill-boding filled his soul.
A part of him wanted to flee, but the voice was
clearer now and its pull on his soul stronger than
ever. He walked toward it.
 

You need to cut the above, single paragraph, into at least three paragraphs.

Presently, he came upon a clearing about four hundred
yards across that was completely barren of life and
all things organic. Even the sand was sterlized and he
 

"All things organic" and "sterilized" are a little too technical and 
scientific for the the general feel so far.  Plus, this is Ranma's 
dream.  Even if you're trying to give the impression it's Ryoga, I can't 
see either one of them getting a passing grade in Biology.

Maybe, "dead and completely barren of life?"  Instead of "sterilized," 
maybe "seared clean" or something.

Four hundred yards?  That's a quarter mile...  That seems a bit 
excessive...I'm not sure someone could tell the sex of an individual 
staked out on a cross two hundred yards away.  Unless she's wearing a 
flowing windblown gown or something.

The clearing burst into flame so hot that he could
feel it in his bones. He opened his mouth to scream
and he woke up.
 

It's a dream sequence.  It should all be in the same voice as the first 
couple of sentences.  Ranma shouldn't "walk" he should "stride," 
shouldn't "look," but "gaze."  You need to really push the imagery 
here.  You need a few more adjectives here.   Things like "The clearing 
burst into crimson flame, so hot he could feel it to his very bones."  
Tacky, I know, but it's a dream sequence...

"A nightmare!" he gasped, "it was just another
nightmare."

'But it sure as hell didn't feel like anything you'd
ever had before, did it, Saotome?' a voice in his head
croaked.
 

Ranma's hearing voices?  Is this a "Joan of Arc" type thing.  Is Ranma 
being revisited by past lives?  You know, they have medication for that 
sort of thing now days.

Ranma gulped.

"I need a glass of water," he muttered and got out of
bed. Careful not to step on his father, he treaded
lightly out of room and downstairs where he fetched
himself his drink from the tap. He drank his fill and
walked back upstairs and now that his nerves were
considerably calmer, went back to sleep. Little did he
realize the gravity of the dream that he had just had.

That shouldn't be "dream."   You established it as a nightmare, it 
should still be called one.

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