--- Schobronics <Schobronics@web.de> wrote:

     You're going to read about the glorious adventures of the
USS Kiyohiko Azuma, NCC-78048, and it's wacky crew.

"its" - no apostrophe.  The apostrophe is short for "it is" (which you
do have correctly later on, in "It's cruising").

Yeager Class longrange

"long range"

scrap heaps at a little federation

"Federation", if you're referencing or parodying the entity from Star
Trek (where Federation was part of the official name, and thus a proper
noun, and thus always capitalized).

searching new races

"searching for new races"

Helmswoman              - Yukari

Damage Control Budget - Overwhelming

Weapons Officer         - Tomo
Security Chief          - Yomi

Whose main method of enforcing security is probably keeping Tomo away
from the weapons.

        The queen's salvia drops on Osakas head.

"Osaka's"

        "Go to the diplomatic corps, they said.  You can make
captain fast there, they said.  Well, at least that was true.
Only one other captain got her ship faster, but still, it's not
what I have expected.

        You'll get a brand new ship, they said.  Yeah.  And here
I am, sitting in my chair in a Yeager Class.  A frankenstein ship
built out of spare parts from the Intrepid and Peregine Class
scrap heaps.

...didn't you already say this in the intro?  Since you've already
explained it, it suffices for her to dismiss it as simply, "A
frankenstein ship."

Also, when continuing quotes between two paragraphs, you should have
another " in front of the next paragraph - in this case, in front of
"You'll".

        Nyaomo sits frozen in her chair.

"Nyamo"

        "Well, maybe I won't show them, afterall..."

"after all"

        Slowly Tomo sneaks up to Chiyo who sits in the command
chair from behind.

Lose the "from behind", or move it to just after "sneaks up".  As it
is currently, it looks like you mean Chiyo's sitting from behind.
Also, replace "to" with "on".

be staring right through, maybe deep in thought about the purpose
of live,

"of life".

If you have
story
ideas for Azumanga Trek, don't hesitate to bother me with them - and
don't be surprised, when I actually use them.

If this is a diplomatic ship...I almost hesitate to suggest a bit on
Nyamo's inability to get a boyfriend affecting her missions, but
romance and diplomacy are not that far apart.  Especially if you were
to parody Kirk's (mostly fanon) abilities in that regard.  And double
especially if the real reason for her inability was the same here as in
AD.

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