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AZUMANGA TREK
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by Christian "Schobronics" Schober
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This work is an Azumanga Daioh - Star Trek crossover
fanfiction, a collection of sidestories for Moon Trek from Erin
Michael Winking. Knowledge of Moon Trek is not strictly
necessairy, but will help sometimes.
You can find Azumanga Trek here
http://azumangatrek.douglasavenue.com (soon)
And you can find Moon Trek here
http://moontrek.douglasavenue.com
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Disclaimer
Azumanga Daioh is a work from Kiyohiko Azuma. All licences
belong to the people they belong to. They certainly don't belong
to me.
Star Trek is a work from Gene Roddenberry. All licences
belong to the people they belong to. They certainly don't belong
to me.
Ranma 1/2 is a work from Rumiko Takahashi. All licences
belong to the people they belong to. They certainly don't belong
to me.
Any other titles I might use are the work of whoever
wrote them. All licences belong to the people they belong to.
They certainly don't belong to me.
I'm writing this without permission just for fun and not for
profit. This file can be distributed as long as it's complete
and without monetary gain. Yaddayaddayadda. You know the drill.
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You're going to read about the glorious adventures of the
USS Kiyohiko Azuma, NCC-78048, and it's wacky crew. The stories
are in no particular order and can be flashbacks. The Azuma is a
Yeager Class longrange exploration vessel, a frankenstein ship
built out of spare parts from the Intrepid and Peregine Class
scrap heaps at a little federation ship yard nobody has ever
heard of. It's cruising through the galaxy, searching new races
to bring into the Federation. At least it should.
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Crew
Captain - Nyamo
First Officer - Chiyo
Chief Medical Officer - Sakaki
Head Nurse - Kaorin
Helmswoman - Yukari
Weapons Officer - Tomo
Security Chief - Yomi
Science Officer - Kagura
Contact Diplomat - Osaka
Counselor - Himura
Section 31 agent - Maya (yes, Sakaki's cat)
Ship Maskot - Tadakichi
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Chapter 2
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Counseling #2
Ensign Narusegawa enters the office of the Personnel
Manager of the USS Kiyohiko Azuma. She sits down in front of the
desk, looking quite angry.
"Hello, Ensign. What can I do for you?"
"I want to sign a formal protest."
"Ok, this is serious. Why?"
"Counselor Himura. He always follows me or other cute
female crew members around and tries to get me into his office to
do some 'counseling'. Today I had to punt him through a wall to
make him go away. I can imagine what type of 'counseling' this
pervert wants to do, looking at us girls with that creepy
leecherous face."
"..."
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First Contact #2
The USS Kiyohiko Azuma enters the uncharted system XC-
126354. Science Officer Kagura begins to scan for lifeforms.
"There are seven planets, the second a class M world with
a medium sized orbital platform..."
"I detect a ship on an intercept course!"
Tomo perks up. "Should I activate shield and weapons?"
"NO!"
Half an hour later the unknown spacecraft drifts in front
of the federation vessel.
Nyamo adresses Tomo, "Don't fire untill I give the order."
Tomo fires the two main phaser cannons, destroying the
other ship.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?"
"Well, sometimes when you say don't do something, it just
makes me need to do it!"
Yomi comments with a single word, "Idiot!"
The beings from XC-126354 later allianced themselves with
the romulans.
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Academy Days #1
Ryoga stands at a console, his hands grab the edges so
hard that the knuckles shine through. Commander Stevens, captain
of the Miranda Class training vessel USS Odyssey, looks stern at
his helmsmen trainee.
"Where the hell are we?"
"I... I dont know..."
Captain Stevens seems really mad now.
"You don't know? This should be a small test drive
around the solar system and you manage to get us LOST?!?"
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Academy Days #2
Ryoga looks embarrassed. Before he can answer though,
the computer blares a warning. "Collision alert! Collision
alert! Collision alert!"
Commander Stevens turns to the viewscreen which shows
another Miranda Class ship. A second later it hammers into the
side of the Odyssey, throwing the crew around the bridge. The
captain looks as if he's about to blast several blood vessels.
"Who the hell just rammed us? Hail this ship!"
"This is the USS Straightthru, Captain Hartmann speaking.
It seems our training session ends a bit different this time."
In the background helmswoman trainee Yukari shouts, "It's
not my fault. They just appeared out of nowhere. Honest!"
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The first time #1
Kagura corners Chiyo in 10 forward, blocking all escape
routes.
"So, how was your first time?"
Hesitating the small girl answers, "Well, Yomi was very
gentle. It didn't hurt all that much."
"Really? My first time hurt like hell."
"Yomi was really careful. I was frightened first when
she threw me to the ground, pinned my arms down with her knees,
sat on my face and pulled my legs over her shoulders, but I
learned a lot. She's a good teacher."
"You're lucky, my self defense teacher was a mean
bastard..."
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First Contact #3
The away team of the USS Kiyohiko Azuma follows an
ordonance into a large conference room where they are to meet the
leaders of the planet Scru'Dryfa. Contact Diplomat Osaka comes
to a stop in front of several of the strange amorphous beings.
"Greetings! We come in peace!"
The middle alien waves a tentacle and answers, "Greetings
as well. I am Tul'Bar, the president."
"Wow! Do you ever wonder why a hammer is called a tool?
I mean, a tool is something you use to make things, but a hammer
can be used to break things..."
Several minutes of monolog later Tul'Bar kills himself.
The away team barely escapes the infuriated aliens.
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Medical emergency #1
The Chief Medical Officer stands at the operation table
with Nurse Kaorin right besides her.
"Laser scalpel."
Kaorin hands the knife to Sakaki, shivering slighty.
Their hands touch for a brief moment. The nurse faints.
Dr. Sakaki takes a look at the patient's life signs.
"Oh no, we're losing him. 20 CC's of adrenalin, fast!"
Kaorin lies on the ground, unmoving, while the patient
flatlines...
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Walking #3
I'm walking around the ship, like I do every day. It's
so huge I should see new places all the time, but I saw them all
already. I'm depressed. I have somebody special on the ship but
now she gives me the cold shoulder. What did I do wrong? I have
no idea.
Usually I wind up at her door, but today my feet seem to
have brought me to a new place. As if that hasn't happened often
enough already. Ah, there is someone coming around the corner.
"Where the hell am I?"
"Ryoga? What are you doing here? Your ship is 700
lightyears away."
It's Yukari. She looks me over.
"Come on, let's get wasted. You look like you need it
and I'm thirsty anyway."
Hours later, drunk and broke, Ryoga stumbles home and
falls asleep in a jeffreys tube.
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First Contact #4
The away team runs frantically through a landscape with
small green hills.
Osaka pants, "Oh my god, we can't shake them off!"
Tomo answers, "Run faster! If they catch us we're
doomed!"
They zoom around a hill in the hope of getting away from
their remorseless pursuers. Yomi activates her communicator.
"Yomi to Azuma! Five to beam aboard! NOW!"
The swirling lights swallow the team right as the
horrendous aliens come down the slope, crying joyful in
anticipation.
"Tinkywinky! Lala! Poo!"
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Autor's notes:
Enough for today, but there's still more where this came from. If you
have story ideas for Azumanga Trek, don't hesitate to bother me with
them - and don't be surprised, when I actually use them.
This is a first draft, so C&C are highly appreciated.
I hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing this little bugger.
Ja
Christian "Schobronics" Schober