Though the majority of the piece reads perfectly fine, I'm not really
sure about the car scene. It's probably not my place to comment on
broader things like premise, but for Misato to pull something that
drastic reads a little out of character, if not contrived; it's a deus
ex machina solution to the issue at hand ... though I suppose that's
the point. Not really sure how to resolve it, or if it indeed needs to
be resolved.
The only other thing I have a minor problem with is the format of the
dialogue, which, without something identifying the speakers, reads a
little confusing sometimes. Otherwise, there aren't any problems that
require comment.
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