NARRATOR: IN THE LAST EPISODE, BRANCH-X ACQUIRED A NEW BASE, JAMES SAW
VISIONS OF ANOTHER TIME IN JUSENKYO VALLEY, AND THE AUTHOR WONDERED IF
THOSE DAMN 'NEXT EPISODE' PREVIEWS ARE TOTALLY WORTHLESS, SINCE HALF OF
THE SCENES FROM THE LAST ONE HAVE BEEN CUT FROM THIS EPISODE!

========================================================================

Warnings: Plot, interesting things happening
          Graphic violence, use of firearms, death and dismemberment
          Again, GRAPHIC DISMEMBERMENT, you have been warned!
          No sex or any real innuendo in this episode
          Casual use of explicit language

========================================================================

C&C, Flames, Anything, welcome at: rick_spiff@yahoo.com

Posted at Insanity Production's home page:
        http://www.geocities.com/rick_spiff/





~ Begin fic ~

  Excerpts from the Branch-X Field Manual, 1st Edition (2007):

  Communications Tactical Multifunction Computer (Comm-Tac)
  A tactical computer system integrated into various pieces of Branch-X
  equipment, including all Coats (see Coat Models). It is essentially a
  one-button computer that enables encoded communication between agents,
  and continuously feeds battlefield data to the user. Use is indicated
  by tapping or squeezing the Coat's collar.

  Field Agent Digital Interface (F.A.D.I. or FADI)
  A simple modern PDA loaded with encrypted communications software and
  attached to a high resolution digital camera and recording system.
  Functioning solely in a client mode, the FADI provides a secure line
  of text, audio, and visual communication and event storage at Branch-X
  headquarters.

  Paranormal (syn. "Supernatural")
  An entity that at least partially demonstrates the characteristics
  attributed to living organisms, but fails comprehensive biological
  qualification in conventional science.*


[Opening Music is Metallica's 'Enter Sandman' played very loudly. A
montage of shots flash by to the bars of the song, mostly of the
Sidestep cast and various Eva characters dressed in kick-ass clothes
and shooting things out of frame. Splattered here and there among the
characters are various explosions for variety.]

[Music cuts out.]



[INT. DAVE'S GOD OFFICE - SOFT LIGHTING.]

[Dave sits primly in his throne, brown eyes focused intently on one page
in a large binder held tightly in his hands. James breezes through the
door, tripping (and ignoring) several alarms. As he saunters up to
Dave's desk, the head of Branch-X closes the binder and turns off the
alarms with a flick of his wrist.]

James: Nice digs you got here. Got that assignment?

Dave: You'll have to be more specific.

James: The missing kids from Jingawa ward.

[Dave nods and taps a few buttons on a laptop computer sitting on his
desk.]

Dave: There. It's on your FADI. Anything else?

[James pulls out a PDA and glances at the messages on the system before
pocketing it again. He looks forlornly into the distance and sighs
heavily.]

Dave: Sorry, I didn't know you were trying out for an Angsty Bishonen
role today.

[With a ghost of a smirk, James turns away from his friend to look
around Dave's Garden of Eden-like office.]

James: I'm just wondering how Miko's doing.

Dave: Are you questioning her abilities or your training?

James: Her luck. It goes from great to terrible, you know.

Dave: I did, but thanks for reminding me. (pause) Is there something
about this case in Jingawa. Is it that again?

James: No... not really. It's different, but it bothers me all the same.

Dave: I hate to sound callus, but get over it. Get angry if you have to,
kill somebody...wait, don't kill anybody, but you'll need a sharp mind
out here. A clear and level head.

James: I don't need to be told that twice. I have no intention of
letting the perp get away with this.

Dave: (almost mocking) 'Perp?'

James: When in Rome...

Dave: So you like your police liasons?

James: I'm getting to know them. So far they're good guys.

Dave: Excellent. The perp?

James: (faces Dave and grins darkly) I'll get creative if it comes to
it.

Dave: (smirks) Send me pictures?

[James is making to leave when Dave stops him with a single word.]

Dave: Jusenkyo.

James: You read the--

[Kat storms into the office. Her Coat flapping behind her like a flag in
a stiff breeze, she barks at James as soon as she has him in view.]

Kat: James, what's this?

James: (grateful for the interruption) What's what?

[Kat holds up a massive pile of documents.]

Kat: _This_.

James: Uh... a stack of papers?

Kat: (setting the pile on Dave's desk) These are reports about undead...
_things_ being sighted in Paris-2.

James: Oh. I've been waiting for those.

[James makes to grab the pile, but Kat thumps her hand down on them, and
offers James a glare that promises great bodily harm should he try to
take the documents without giving her an answer.]

James: (sighs) In case you haven't noticed, I'm the liason for
paranormal disturbances of the peace, and the undead are my speciality.

Kat: (hand unmoving) Since when?

[James looks at Dave, giving the Branch-X head his best "Help! I'm no
good at these word things!" look. Dave resists the urge to leave James
alone to deal with Kat. Besides, it is his office.]

Dave: Kat, James is a ghost hunter. Has been since they started showing
up.

Kat: When was this?

Dave: About 2004. You see, Second Impact--the supposed meteor impacting
on and destroying Antarctica--caused a great deal of changes across the
world. Oceans rose, cities fell, legends became realities, and...
unnatural things began to walk the earth.

[Kat looks at James to confirm this.]

James: (somehow holding the papers even though Kat hasn't moved her hand)
They really do walk. It's kinda creepy. Anyway, I gotta go!

[James bolts for the door. Kat blinks and looks at where her hand is
resting firmly on the desk. From the look on her face, it's clear that
she didn't feel it move from paper to wood.]

Kat: (as the door closes) HEY!

Dave: Relax. He's got work to do up north.

Kat: Bouncing us around like this is getting confusing.

Dave: (shrugs helplessly) It's hard to hire new people. John was going
to help you with this, but I need technical support in Division 4.

Kat: So I'm going to go do...what did James do exactly. I didn't think--

Dave: Do you want to hear the rest of this story?

Kat: (nodding) Yeah.

Dave: After SI, pinning down the Conspiracy was like grasping at smoke.
Things were too chaotic. You couldn't build a base, plot an overthrow...
but neither could they.

Kat: So James turned to killing ghosts because the Conspiracy was too
disorganized for the time being?

Dave: No... because everyday people needed him to stop the ghosts. They
were a more immediate threat than the Conspiracy, especially to a
disorganized world, much of it without official government protection
from the paranormal.

Kat: That's what we're calling it now?

Dave: It's in the manual.

Kat: But what about--

Dave: Don't ask. In seven years of hard work, I still haven't come up
with a full understanding of how all of this happened. I think, in a few
months, I'll finish polishing my work on the 'what' and show that to
everyone then.

Kat: (mulls this over) So we're fighting blind? (all but ignores Dave's
nod) Why didn't James just say that?

Dave: He's lazy and forgetful when he wants to be. By the way, I'm
giving you this case.

Kat: What? James just left with--

Dave: We can make more copies. That's for his files. Old fashioned
engineer, that man...Someone's kidnapping whole children and leaving
sexually abused parts behind. It's all been in Jingawa ward so far. As
there's indications that some paranormal beings may be involved, the
Tokyo-3 PD requested a NERV Special liason. There's a little-known UN
division that we're pretending to be part. International Special
Services. We're going to be merged in about eight months. Bring on some
more experienced people.

Kat: I get it. So James hunting down some ghosts or something?

Dave: We're not sure precisely what it is.

Kat: I'm sure James will kill them with his usual flare for violence.

[Dave smiles humorlessly.]

Kat: And I'm hunting Zombies?

Dave: (handing another pile of papers to her) Yep. Have fun! And
remember...

Kat: (ignoring Dave's scowl) Never mix the colors with the whites!


----------

Title Flash:

Episode 8: Silent Pain/
           The Eternal Battlefield

----------


[INT. PLEASANT HOUSE - DAY.]

[Yellow crime scene tape with black kanji encircles a squat grey house
with tiny strips of grass on either side. A front yard not much bigger
then a small dining room is laid out before the open front door. A
quartet of uniformed police officers stand a the corners of the
property, looking out of place in this neighborhood of hundreds of
anonymous houses deep in a the northern suburban sprawl of Tokyo-3.]

[Other than the police, the crime scene decorations, and a few cars
parked in the street out front, the outside of this house still looks
like many others on the same block.]

[Inside, things are substantially different.]

[Namely, every room is painted in blood.]

[James stands in the doorway of the smallest bedroom, clearly a child's
room due to the small trophies, small bed, and shelf full of plushie
animals. Every surface, every toy and feature, even the window and
ceiling, is all covered in a thin coating of a familiar crimson liquid.
James looks over the room, his blue-grey eyes cold as two lumps of
flint. Behind him, Yuki Yamaguchi waits patiently for James to finish
examining the room. Yuki, Japanese and thin, fills out his short-sleeved
blue dress shirt and grey slacks about as well as a termite-infested
toothpick. His belt features a black device about the size of a deck of
cards, which records all audio and has a built-in camera. He stands
ready and without complaint, though he already sports large wet patches
under each arm and down his back, and occasionally dabs at a sweating
brow with a hankerchief. James, wearing an all-concealing black
(aparently leather) trench coat seems unaffected by the 90+ degree heat
and unbearable humidity of the house.]

James: No suspects?

Yuki: None.

[James continues to look over the room for a moment before striding
purposefully outside of the house and into the blistering heat of the
mid-day sun. Yuki is on his heels and almost breaths a sigh of relief to
be outside of the house. Perhaps because of the humidity and smell,
perhaps because of something else. Both make their way to an anonymous
car with a heavy-set man behind the wheel, and stop at the doors,
looking back at the house.]

James: That's downright disturbing.

Yuki: Yeah...

James: The cleaners will be here soon?

Yuki: Yes. The technicians finished about an hour ago. All of the data
is being processed back the station right now.

James: It's probably unnecessary, but I would like to request a copy of
the scene data.

Yuki: Is NERV getting involved?

James: Yes.

Yuki: That's your call to make?

James: You don't miss much, Yamaguchi-san.

Yuki: (shrugs) May I ask you a question?

James: Sure.

Yuki: How are you staying cool in that ridiculous coat?

James: This one has an air-conditioning unit in it.

[Yuki's eyes widen and he _stares_ at the Coat while James rambles on.]

James: I need the weapons and armor it's equipped with, so the Master
Designer back at our HQ whiped this one up to keep me somewhat
comfortable.

Yuki: (nods, but the look on face clearly indicates that he doesn't
believe a word) _Is_ there anything uncomfortable about it?

James: Yeah. It weighs about forty-five kilograms.

[Yuki rolls his eyes while James gets into the back seat of the car.
Yuki gets in after he does, taking up his spot in the passenger seat.]



[INT. POLICE CAR - DAY.]

[The driver's seat is already occupied by Detective Yamaguchi's partner,
Godai Kuno. Godai is Japanese, with classical features, a regal bearing,
and a respectful yet lordly presence. His eyes are a piercing brown,
like storm clouds gilded in amber. His build is that of a professional
football player, wrapped in a fine suit that must be a stretch to
purchase on a detective's salary. He looks like he would never wear
anything else though. A day at the beach? He'd be wearing a fine silk
suit. Vacation to the North Pole? Wool suit. His shoulders are a brick
wall, his arms construction derricks, his legs industrial hydraulic
jacks. He seems capable of eating a bucket of ten-penny nails for lunch
just sitting there in the driver's seat.]

James: Can we go off the record for a moment?

[Without a glance, Godai shuts off the in-car recorder. Yuki taps the
recorder on his belt.]

Yuki: Off the record.

James: Theories?

Godai: Yakuza killing. Very flashy. Intended to induce fear in future
targets.

James: Yamaguchi-san?

Yuki: Scare tactic? Too extreme. Besides, we don't have leads yet. Even
the Yakuza are surprised by this, if Kakuto-san is to be believed. What
about a takeover--

James: We'd have heard something about it, or will soon.

Godai: The detectives in our deparatment will stay appraised of the
situation, but you do not think it's related to organized crime?

James: (meeting Godai's eyes in the mirror) Godai-kun, (ignores the
near-wince that crosses Godai's features) that room reaked of magick.
It'll take me a week to wash it out of my Coat! Whoever did that was
either a magickal being themselves or used a massive amount of magick in
the process.

Yuki: You can... sense magick?

James: I've some experience with it. Heck, before I worked for NERV I
was killing ghosts. Still might wind up doing that, come to think of it.

[Yuki and Godai exchange looks that clearly indicate they're making a
mental note of this.]

James: (continuing) You guys should check up on the Yakuza link anyway.
But I'm certain the killer was a demon, (dangerous look in his eyes) and
he's mine.

Godai: (single raised eyebrow) NERV has elected to care for this matter?
Isn't there another agency that deals with supernatural matters. I have
heard rumors...

James: As have I. I...have some lattitude in how I operate. As my boss
says, I work _with_ NERV. I suppose that will become literal soon, as
the agency you speak of is apparently going to be merged with us.

[Another look between Yuki and Godai. They almost appear to be
communicating telepathically.]

Godai: (shrugs) Shall we?

James: Sure.

[Recording devices are reactivated. Godai puts the car in Drive and
pulls smoothly into the practically non-existent traffic.]

Yuki: So, just out of curiosity, what does it take to track down a
supernatural killer like this?

James: Depends on what you're tracking. Ghosts aren't any harder to find
than normal people--you can't rely on eye-witness accounts, you check
out places they were known to frequent...oh yeah, don't go looking for
the living when you know you're looking for a ghost. When people die and
become a ghost, their remains usually haven't been buried, so you have
to look for old bodies in odd places...your usual police work. I think
this was the work of demons, though.

Yuki: Like demons from the underworld demons?

Godai: You mean youma? How do they differ from ghosts?

James: Traditionally, Youma is a general term for demons that are formed
from human emotions, and draw most of their power from a kind of
alternate dimension. Youma aren't coherent matter until in this...
reality. The demons I'm talking about are like a...level higher than
Youma. They _exist_ in this alternate dimension, though they can travel
to our reality. Their power can be stored within their essence. They're
still basically made from emotions and raw energy, but there's so much
of it, and it's so tightly focused, that gives rise to a solid,
independant body. At least, that's how I think of them. I'm not sure
anyone has a real handle on the physics.

Yuki: (thinking out loud) Don't ghosts form their bodies from energy?

James: You mean ectoplasm?

Yuki: Is that what it's called?

James: Ectoplasm is the lowest physical form that the a Human soul can
summon. It's like a primordial soup. A biological stock, if you will.
Now, the spirit can assemble the chemicals, but can't force them into
the pattern that makes up a human body, and can't add the energy to make
it move. So all that ghosts are physically is a slimy liquid. Demons can
command so much energy, and are so much more skilled, that they have
hard, physical bodies formed by energy. This energy is what I term
magick. Most of them still dissolve into Ectoplasm after you kill them,
but at least there's something more substantial than a walking cloud of
salty water to shoot at.

Godai: Having no physical form, can they hurt people?

James: Not in the conventional sense, but because they lack substance,
they can pass their energy into your body and disrupt the functioning of
your nervous system. It isn't pretty.

Yuki: They sounds very dangerous.

Godai: Is there nothing else a ghost may be formed of? What about living
trees and walking stone?

Yuki: You mean like golemns? Stone and wood golemns are demons then too,
aren't they?

James: That's right. (looks at the back of Godai's head) You studied
demons?

Godai: My family owns several dozen original treatises on the subject of
paranormal entities and legends. Many were donated to museums over the
years, but some of the family collection remains. I used to read them as
a boy, figuring them fantasy fit only for entertainment, though of more
substance than books and comics of the day. It is an odd thing to now
find this knowledge so useful in a practical field, keeping the public
safe from harm.

James: (noding) Second Impact has changed a lot of things. It's unreal
to see the undead get up and walk around. That was the kind of thing you
saw in cheap horror movies in my day, but now...

Yuki: How do you fight a demon?

James: Depends on what you're facing, precisely. Demons have elemental
alignments, magickal alignments, protections, hidding power sources...
most of what I know is based on pure guesswork. There is one source of
information... (shakes his head) Everything has a weakness. Humans are
physically weak and lack expanded senses, but nothing supernatural that
I've encountered has been impervious to damage from conventional
weapons. Sometimes it's enough to have gobs of firepower at your
disposal. Literally, in the case of the living dead. Vulnerable to fire,
those little guys...

[In the rearview, both detectives look a little shocked to see someone
speaking about zombies in such a casual tone of voice, as if they have
to fight through a pack of them every day on their way to work. They
share another one of their looks, and Godai is elected the spokesman.]

Godai: A question.

James: Yes?

Godai: Can ashes...

James: Absolutely not. Cremated bodies won't come back to life. Fire is
a purification. It breaks all the soul's bonds to the physical world if
the body is burned complete. Almost every culture in the world has some
ceremony of purification involving fire. It's one of those things that's
stayed with us for mellenia. Legends again. (scratches his chin) I think
you use fire to purify something you're going to hold magick in too.

Yuki: Funny that it's useful for sterilizing a knife blade in a pinch.

James: I think the physical world we call 'reality' isn't so different
than the 'magick world.' The similarities are more numerous than the
differences.

Yuki: Here's hoping so.

[The car comes to a stop in front of a multi-story building full of
small stores. The ground level contains something akin to the espresso
booths still scattered across North America like weeds.]

[James' Coat rings. The former assassin whips out a phone.]

James: Yes? ... Europe? No way, I've got more important things to do
here! ... Yes, if things get that bad--of course I'll come. Right... no
problem. See you later then? ... Bye.

[Godai and Yuki look expectantly at James.]

James: The boss. It seems some vampires have been sighted in Paris-2.

[The two nod in understanding. Yes, the world _has_ changed a lot.]



[EXT. NERV PLAZA - DAY.]

[The weather hasn't relented in the last two days. James makes his way
across the NERV Plaza located off Street F (now mostly repaired from the
battle in episode 4), walking through the phantom waves of heat rising
oof the concrete. He waves to the construction workers installing some
pots to hold decorative trees and enters the NERV office building
through the front doors.]

James: (to the receptionist) Good morning, Demi.

Demi: (hearts in eyes, swoons, flowers in the background) Oh, my love!

James: (barely fighting off the sweat drop) Good morning, Stef.

Stef: (over his paperwork) Morning, Mr. Rahn. How are things?

James: Terrible. There was a... crime scene I had to be at. Messy stuff.

Stef: Oh? (polite interest) Are the police handling it?

James: I'm afraid not. They aren't equipped to deal with the
perpetraitor.

Stef: So it's not a run-of-the-mill criminal.

James: It's... something. I really can't share details.

Demi: (coming out of it) Oh, more top secret NERV stuff?

James: You might say that.

Demi: (serious) Why is it top secret?

James: Because I don't have all the info. If we held a press conference,
I'd like to _not_ end my description by saying 'well, that's all we
know; we really aren't sure what it is, what it can do, or where it can
be found.' That's _really_ not going to help people sleep better.

[Demi tips her head to the side, carefully mulling over James' words.]

Demi: Oh. (smile) That's so considerate of you!

James: Riiight. Anyway, I--

[James glances at the desk, spying a newspaper with a very blurry photo
looking oddly like a screen capture from "Sailor Moon." Something looks
like it's about to fall loose from his brain, but he quickly looks at
his watch.]

James: (surprised at this) It's two the afternoon.

Stef: (looks at his watch; startled) Oh! Good afternoon, then.

James: (smiling; waves to both Stef and Demi) Good afternoon!

[Demi sighs dreamily and swoons again, Stef absently moving his coffee
out of her way while he glances at the newspaper photo that had killed
James' conversational abilities. James, meanwhile, walks back to the
elevator, which opens just in time to let him in.]



[INT. JAMES' TEMPORARY OFFICE - SOFT LIGHTING.]

[At a familiar place in the cubicle farm, James stands over his desk,
giving a small pile of papers the Evil Eye. With the air of a bouncer
kicking out some trouble- makers, he sweeps the pile off his desk and
into the garbage. As they fall, we catch the words "PARIS-2
TRANSPORTATION ARRANGEMENTS" on one of the papers. James finally sits
down, and immediately has to answer his phone.]

James: Moshi moshi.

Dave: (over phone) Hello James, good thing you're finally back. I need
an update the murder-kidnapping you looked at today.

James: It's pretty ugly. Whatever came in there took what they wanted
and slaughtered everyone else unopposed. I don't just mean effectively
or quickly. There's nothing to do an autopsy on, and nothing to tell us
precisely how they did it.

Dave: (over phone) But you think it was a spell and not them charging
into handle things by themselves.

James: That's what the report will say. I'm betting the farm on demons.
Any news about Miko?

Dave: (over phone) Just that things are going smoothly. I'm expecting
some files to 'magickally' appear here that lay bare some shipping
transactions for Coltrane Heavy Industries, Inc.

James: And?

Dave: (over phone) A lot of what looks like exotic weapons are being
built by CHI. I'm just seeing if he's got the materials and gathering
more evidence.

James: How close is Miko?

Dave: (over phone) She's in constant contact with Jack Carlson.
Moral-wise, there aren't many people better suited to the job.

James: (unpleasant face) I'll take your word for it.

Dave: (over phone; before James can continue) You're worried about her.

James: Irrationally. She can handle herself, trust me.

Dave: (over phone) I know you've dumped the Paris-2 requests in the
garbage, (polite pause to let James look guitily in the trash) but
consider going. Jack and Miko are both in Europe right now. There's a
possi--

James: When do I leave?

Dave: (over phone) Get Kat and meet me in my office when you're ready.

James: Give me sixty seconds.

[James says his goodbyes, hangs up, and stares at his hands.]

James: (musing) Is it worth it? Is it?



[EXT. JINGAWA SUBURBS - EARLY MORNING.]

[The next day brings with it new hope, a new rising sun, a few more
bodies, and a very worried James Rahn. The Branch-X agent stands at the
edge of a tiny canal, right where it passes through the corner of a
major park. The trees at ground level are so thick that it's impossible
to see what's in the canal unless one has walked through this corner of
woods to find the concrete. And on on the concrete, right at the canal's
edge, stands James and the detectives from yesterday.]

James: (looking down) Well, that's a relief.

Yuki: (standing next to James, trying _not_ to look down) What is?

James: There was no ceremony, no magick on the bodies. That means no
spells of flesh and sacrifice, which means no portal. Either they have
someone on the inside, or they're trapped here.

[Yuki obviously doesn't understand half of what James is saying, and the
look on his face tells us that this is usually the way their
conversations go.]

Yuki: What?

James: The demons. I think I know who they answer to. They need some
high-level magick to pass back into their world, and that means either a
high-level demon or a sacrifice of flesh to begin a blood spell. Nothing
else that I know of is powerful enough to open a portal.

Yuki: And what do you mean about them being stuck here?

James: Demons have a chain of command. If the top dog is ready to invade
earth, we've got a literal war on our hands. Otherwise, this excursion
is limited. If the demons have authorization, I may be able to find out
who authorized them and demonstrate that it wasn't...appreciated.
Otherwise, they're rogues and their chief demon will happily skin them
alive and use them for furniture or something for violating his orders.

Yuki: Eew.

James: Yeah.

Yuki: (nervously) But...either way we're taken care of?

James: Yes. (thoughtful) I will be leaving for a few days. My
replacement should be available if anything serious happens. These
demons...will be dealt with.

Yuki: You're leaving? To where?

[Instead of responding, James looks down again. Crime scene technicians
are now arriving, a cluster of them emerging from the dense shade of the
large trees, setting up their equipment a distance from the canal.]

James: (thinking) King Sikima is going to have a field day if these guys
are in the insurgents...these bastards have really earned every ounce of
his attention.

[We fade out, still not privy to either what James and the Tokyo-3
Police have to witness, or how James knows the ruler of the Shikima.]


----------

Title Flash:

Episode 8: Silent Pain/
           The Eternal Battlefield

----------


[EXT. WET RUNWAY, PARIS-2 AIRPORT - NIGHT.]

[Rain lances down as if the heavens are assaulting the very earth. Not
only do the rain drops place a veil of darkness over every light of the
city and its international airport, but the incessant hammering of each
sphere of H2O creates a sound quite unlike any other. A symphony of
rain, if you will.]

[Naturally, all of this is lost on the assassins dropping from the rear
hatch of a 777. The plane has only just touched its rear wheels to
runway when James and Kat fall out and drop to the runway with their
ribbon chutes wide open. The shattered remains of the plane's port
engine are illuminated by the plane's lights, like a pig put on a split
and attacked by a pack of starving wolverines. The 120+ decible shriek
of the remaining engine fades from brain-liquifying to merely loud.]

[As the two assassins close their ribbon chutes, letting a mechanism
hidden in their Coats reel in the gossomar material, they pull out their
military-grade earplugs.]

Kat: (barely heard over the 'distant' roar of jet engines) WHAT THE FUCK
WAS THAT?!!

James: (also just barely heard) VAMPIRE!

[Kat stares down the runway, in the direction of where the plane should
be. She waits for a moment, wondering when the noise will drop to a sane
level, then gives up for the moment.]

Kat: SHITTY WAY TO DIE!

[Kat pulls out an MR-7 automatic shotgun, last seen in James' hands in
episode 5. James waits patiently for the engine roar to turn into a
distant howl through the sheets of rain and pulls out a cell phone.]

James: (into phone) Dave? Hey, I need a type-2 loadout, with all the
options...What? ... Yes, we've...landed. Look, a vampire got sucked into
one of the engines...Well, it exploded, what do you expect? No, not the
vampire, the engine! ... The plane is fine, we're checking the ground
for any other threats...What do you mean 'why?' Because I don't want to
die right now! ... Of course I'll check in with the authorities. Who's
the contact? ... Right.

[James hangs up his phone and draws his own MR-7.]

James: Can you tap a sitrep to our contacts? Dave says they're on the
Comm-Tac. Take cover in that drain channel and I'll flank over this
hill.

Kat: Roger.

[Kat quickly drops into the drainage channel, then proceeds to curse up
a storm (pun intended) when she lands in knee-deep muck that passes for
water in this darkness. She pulls out a pair of odd-looking goggles and
begins tapping the message pad of her Comm-Tac--the interface disguised
as an attractive broach on her Coat.]

[James, meanwhile, crosses the runway and makes a big circle over muddy
berms and through a few other ditches before winding up at Kat's eblow.]

James: Looks clear here.

Kat: No movement on the runway. Why the paranoia?

James: Zombies aren't master tacticians. If they're here, someone sent
them. Someone sent them for a reason. Did you check the water?

[On cue, a humanoid figure jumps out of the pitch-black water, its
snarling more of a wet gurgle.]

Kat: (while blowing off the creature's head) Gross!

James: You know, Zombies don't need to breathe to survive. You can hide
them in puddles of water, canals, bury them in the ground...

Kat: If you give me nightmares, I'm going to start haunting yours.

James: (points to a pair of approaching headlights) Fair enough. Let's
keep on the flat spot between this ditch and the pavement. Turn on the
polarization features of your headgear and watch this water. There's
probably going to be one every forty feet or so.



Flesh out this Marcus a little bit, even though he's a bit character, at
least describe him! (he has an anonymous face of the forgettable french)

[A large vehicle, cross between a Jeep and a motor home, comes to a
stop, parked across the runway the 777 landed on a few minutes ago. The
front of the vehicle is outfitted with a bank of lights that look like
they were stolen right out of a major sports stadium. The lighting
reveals a boatload of rain, and two figures walking through said rain
towards the vehicle. Both trudge through the downpour like battle-weary
soldiers, yet retain a remarkable spring in their step, perhaps from
being highly accustomed to tromping through undead-infested airports in
the middle of a blinding rainstorm. As they come closer to the vehicle,
it becomes possible to make out the range of viscera painted upon their
clothes--black trench coats--and it also becomes possible to see the
massive weapons they both hold in a warding fashion.]

[A tall man steps out of the vehicle through a side door, a man with an
anonymous white face, slender hands, and dark brown hair with a precise
part. He stands on the runway casually smoking a cigarette, protected
from the rain thanks to a small panel that projects from the vehicle's
roof over the side door. His eyes watch the approaching figures with
some interest. While waiting, he adjust his wool jacket, and on the
shoulder we see an odd patch with a red maple leaf in the center and a
pair of golden swords crossed over it.]

[The two figures walking up the runway, James and Kat, come to a halt
before the tall man, their trench coats mostly free of gore now. They
peel off their matching goggles and smile warmly at the man, who nods in
their direction.]

James: James Rahn and Kat Dogson, NERV Special Services and Information,
at your service.

Man: (putting out the cigarette and speaking with a hard-to-place
accent) NERV SSI, huh? You always going make a flashy landing like that?

James: Only when we're attacked by Zombies.

Marcus: (nods in understanding) Marcus Domino, relations for the
government, yadda yadda.

James: (shrugs) We know. Nice R.V.

Marcus: (gestures for them to board) It's comfortable enough. You want a
towel to dry off?

[James halts as his Coat beeps. He gives the collar a few squeezes,
listens for a second, then nods and boards.]

[The interior is done in olive drab, and reeks of military design. Each
side of the interior is dominated by a long bench that screams
uncomfortable. A section of the floor appears to fold up into a table, a
kind of gourney perhaps. The rear of the vehicle is taken up by a wall
of olive drab cabinets, from which Marcus procures several gray
Army-issue towels. James and Kat sit on side of the vehicle while Marcus
sits directly opposite them. His face, now under better illumination, is
pale and lined, like a craggy cliff face worn smooth by the sea. Dark
brown eyes peer out from under a heavy and stern brow.]

James: (looking at his towel) I didn't know they made 'em in this color.

Marcus: Courtesy of the French Army, as is the transportation.

James: (wipes his face clean) You aren't with the Army?

Marcus: No, Special Services liason. I was a cop and then worked for
Interpol. Now I'm a special attachment to the government, interface with
the U.N. and all that.

Kat: (trying to dry her hair) You're not French?

Marcus: As good as a native, though I moved here in '91.

Kat: Glad to meet you. I left a message.

James: Charmed. What's the situation?

[Marcus pulls out a PDA and scans it for a moment before tapping out a
few commands with the stylus.]

Marcus: There. I've forwarded the official line. Off the record, this is
a mess. We've got numous sightings of undead, but discernable pattern.
They're primarily coming from the north of town, where the original
Paris was centered.

James: People have been buried under Paris for hundreds of years. If any
of them are coming back...

Marcus: Exactly.

Kat: (to Marcus) Are you a ghost hunter?

Marcus: No, and Mr. Bennington is in Scotland on U.N. SSI business right
now.

James: (surprised) Will's posted here? I thought he got shipped off to
Greenland.

Kat: Who's Mr. Bennington?

James: William Bennington is a ghost hunter. Worked Europe for a while.
I know him pretty well, but last I heard, he was sent up north by the
U.N. Waaay up north.

Marcus: He did go way up north, but Greenland's been quiet for weeks
now. We're having a flare-up all over Europe, so he's due back soon.

James: Any confirmed Vampire sightings?

Marcus: None. And that's something to be thankful for. I mean, we're
looking at several hundred undead targets right now. The regular police
can't field a team, and even with NERV pushing, the U.N. won't move
troops to cover the civilians until there's a concrete threat.

James: Hence us.

Marcus: Hence you.

[Both Branch-X agent look grim, and James speaks for both of them.]

James: (gloomily sarcastic) Great.



[EXT. RUINS OUTSIDE OF PARIS-2 - DUSK.]

[James and Kat stand in the middle of a large pile of rubble. Smaller
plants have grown out out the cracks between loose bricks here and
there, but most of the wreckage remains relatively fresh. Shells of
hundred-plus year old buildings surround them on all sides. James is
looking at the wreckage under their feet while Kat is checking out the
surrounding buildings. The rain from their arrival a few days ago is
long gone, but a scattering of dark clouds still bask in the light from
the sun set low in the sky.]

Kat: So, this the ruins of Paris?

James: Nice, huh? After SI, the fighting got pretty bad out here.
Monsters attacking, troops marching, oceans rising, earthquakes leveling
old buildings, people in a state of desparate panic. It was quite a
mess.

Kat: You sound like you were here.

James: I've talked to some rescue personnel who were in this area during
Second Impact.

Kat: Research?

James: Training.

Kat: (sighs) The cops didn't look happy to have us around.

James: Technically, we were supposed to meet Will, and he was going to
lead us around. But Marcus has done a great job, even he's always in a
funk.

Kat: Have you met him before?

James: No, of course not.

Kat: What are you looking for, anyway?

James: Evidence of the undead.

Kat: Great. I'll let you know if a Zombie starts choking me.

James: The undead are undead for specific reasons. William had some
records from before Second Impact that suggested that some of the people
in this area were Latents. If they died during or immediately after
Second Impact, maybe they would rise as vampires and those loyal to them
would probably be branded familiars. It's happened elsewhere, why not
here?

Kat: Let me see if I remember this... a Latent is somebody who has a
Vampire in their bloodline, but doesn't show external signs of
vampirism?

James: Yes.

Kat: And Latents rise when there's an influx of magickal energy, such as
that released by Second Impact.

James: Glad to see you're learning. The rising process doesn't always
turn them into a Vampire, though.

Kat: Right. Maybe. And this knowledge will help me keep all of my limbs?
(eyes light up with realization) If a Zombie bites me, I won't turn into
one, will I?

James: They aren't Lycanthropes.

Kat: Wait...I've heard that word before.

James: Werewolves.

Kat: Let's get back to the Vampires. The Latents realize they're
Vampires, then what?

James: They do what Vampires do.

[Silence reigns. Then....]

Kat: (impatient, prompting) Which would be...

James: Drink blood, kill people, raize cities, build armies, try to take
over the world? Vampire stuff! I ain't no Vampire psychologist. They're
bad, they kill people, I get rid of 'em, that's all I need to know.

Kat: Well... er, that is... (sighs) how do we kill them?

James: Well, first off, don't try to use garlic. You'll need them to
swallow a couple of heads worth to finish them off, and it can't be
cooked or it's useless.

Kat: But a string of it around your neck?

James: Like wearing a gallon of tear gas for perfume. They can't even
come near you without getting violently ill. Some legends claim silver
is poisonous to Vampires, but let me lay that notion to rest.

Kat: I thought silver was for Werewolves.

James: Dead on, Kat. Silver is highly poisonous to Werewolves. Vampires
though, doesn't matter. B/C weapons are also out. Vampires can fly, not
fast, but they can gain altitude quickly enough to escape while anyone
at ground level bites it. They don't bleed as fast as Humans, so hitting
major arteries rarely works, and even then they have the ability to mask
out pain for a period of time. If you're in close, take off their heads
or score a massive vital strike. Vampires _can_ regenerate limbs, but it
takes a long time, years usually.

Kat: Wait, wait! They can _fly_?

James: Duh. How did you think one wound up in that plane's engine?

Kat: That makes them very--

James: (flatly) No. It doesn't. Vampires move way too slowly in the air
to be effective offenesively. It's nothing for us to shoot them down,
too. Mostly, I think they use it for dramatic entrances. (stops digging
in the rubble to scratch his chin thoughtfully) Pretty much the only
thing Vampires have to fear is sunlight.

Kat: Ultraviolet?

James: Some combination of radiation we haven't been able to catalog. No
artificial light man has invented will hurt Vampires, but letting
sunlight hit them is like setting their flesh on a barbeque. (looks
thoughtful again) Actually, that would kill them too. (to himself) Take
too long, sure...but they'd die. Eventually.

Kat: So, shooting off heads or staking them out in sunlight is our only
options, huh?

James: (stops his probing) Actually, there is another way.

Kat: Really? What else have we got?

James: Magick.

Kat: ... Magick what?

James: I'm not sure. Will told me he used many kinds of Magick to kill
Vampires. Without it, we're back to shooting off heads and staking them
out in an open area.

Kat: (thinking) He didn't say 'there is another way' not 'we have
another way.' (pumps a fist in the air) DAMN YOU, RAHN!!!

[James looks at the silent Kat, holding a fist to the sky, her
expression dark and unforgiving.]

James: (thinking) Whoa. Now I remember why I try not to get on her bad
side.

[And it is with this distraction that a particularly quiet zombie
wanders into the small square. He is only a few meters from James when
the NERV agent pulls out a Desert Eagle .50 and relieves the living
corpse of its head without so much as turning his own to look at it or
even aim.]

Kat: (looking at the mess on the ground) We're in trouble aren't we.

James: Yes. Yes we are.

[Undead suddenly burst from under every brick and through every gaping
window hole around the pair of doomed Humans. Rotten flesh hands loose
over faces with gaping holes in them. Empty eye sockets stare accusingly
at the pair. Hands sprout from the ground like a mineature five-fingered
forrest.]

Kat: (shooting everywhere at once) What is this? 'Evil Dead?!'

James: (firmly mastering the obvious) ZOMBIES!

Kat: (barely resisting the urge to shoot James) I can see that!

[Each agent drops close to a dozen approaching zombies with well-placed
shots from their MR-7's, then dash for a narrow alleyway packed to the
gills with more undead. En route, Kat scans the area with her eyes,
twice.]

Kat: (thinking) All of these guys are wearing military uniforms.

[On approach to the alleyway, James levels his MR-7 and starts putting
down corpses. Having nowhere to go, they rapidly fill the alley. James
and Kat don't even slow down, even as their feet elicit squishy noises
from the thoroughly-dead and they run over the pile of bodies. At the
end of the alley, James stops short of open air and fires a half-dozen
shots into the open in a 180-degree arc, hoping to stun or kill anyone
preparing an ambush. Yeah, he may have just killed potential help too.
The the two dart out of their escape passage into the remains of a
deserted street paved in brick.]

[A laugh rises through the dry night air. The auditory equivalent of a
funeral pyre, it inspires unspeakable fear in anyone that hears it. Yet
James and Kat, who have looked into the very maw of death so many times
that putting their lives on the line in any way is like returning home
for a chat with beloved family members, only stiffen slightly.]

James: That would be the vampire.

Kat: (dryly) It's time to dust 'em.

James: Lame. Very lame.

Kat: Bite me.

James: (smirks) Better.

[As the vampire's voice again washes over them, the ground itself seems
to curl up in disgust.]

Vampire: (OS) Who dares to tread upon my land?

James: I am the unknown warrior. I strike from shadows and feast upon
your defeat! I am nameless terror! I am faceless hate! I am the cold
revenge of all you have made victim! I am a guardian of Humanity, and I
am your END, filthy creature!

[Kat raises a questioning eyebrow as she covers James' back.]

Vampire: (OS) You...are PREY!

James: (to Kat) Kill the zombies, armed ones first, then pick them off
by range. Don't be distracted by the vampire. I can take him.

Kat: (grimly) Got it.

[There is no wishing of luck, no heartfelt words. In their voices, one
can hear how these two are intimately familiar with combat and are fully
prepared to face their ultimate fate. Then zombies flood into the narrow
Paris street ruins, and a figure cloaked in ragged black cloth floats
into view above them, commanding the horde.]

[Without warning, James fires a shot directly at the vampire, who takes
it dead in the chest and goes down, hard. Shrugging, James pulls a small
set of papers from his inner jacket and stuffs them into an exterior
pocket on his Coat. Then he hefts his MR-7 again and shifts targets to
the marching undead.]

[Kat spends ammo as fast as she can draw a bead on her targets. The
zombies aren't so numerous and rushed that they've come out
shoulder-to-shoulder, and thus she actually has to aim before pulling
the trigger. Still, years of practice take over without any effort on
her part and body after body falls to her stoic defense.]

[After building a veritable wall of corpses around their spot in the
street, James and Kat watch the bleeding vampire rise a head and
shoulders abover the remains of his undead army.]

Vampire: SPIRE OF HELL!

[A blue glow fills the air around the defenders. James pulls the papers
from his pockets and flings them into the air.]

James: Holy Wall!

[The blue glow shifts to red in the blink of an eye, and lava begins to
appear in some of the cracks between the roadway's bricks. Kat starts
dancing around, trying to avoid setting her shoes on fire while still
gunning down zombies. James just stands quietly in place, staring at the
vampire's pale red eyes.]

[The red light increases in intensity until an explosion rocks the
ground. The lava and a brilliant flash of firey orange light explodes
from the ground. A pale blue sphere surrounding James and Kat flickers
into existence, deflecting the power of the ground-borne explosion out,
mowing down the attacking zombies and setting _everything_ it touches on
fire.]

[The vampire merely waves the black rags wrapped about him, and throws
off the flames like a duck shaking water from it's feathers.]

Kat: What was that?

James: Ward-type seal. Forms a magickal barrier against aligned magickal
attack spells like those a Vampire is particularly strong with. Don't
worry about the Zombies either, fire is pretty hard on them, and they
can't pierce the barrier either.

Kat: Why didn't you use this before?

James: I don't have that many wards, and they're kinda one-time use.

[Kat looks down and notices several peices of smoldering and slightly
glowing paper around James' feet. That satisfies her and she looks for
something else to put her attention to.]

Kat: (looking at one of the bodies) You know, I think these guys are
wearing military uniforms.

James: (still watching the vampire) Yes.

Kat: World War I uniforms.

James: Yes.

Kat: James?

James: Vampires are very fast. I need to keep an eye on him or he'll
flank us. I want this guy to go down.

Kat: Wouldn't escaping without lives be good enough?

[But James ignores her as the shield becomes visible for a second, then
fades one final time. James rushes the vampire, a katana held tightly in
one hand. Laughing his 'flaming death' laugh, the vampire dodges James'
attacks with imcredible speed.]

[Frowning, Kat marches over to one of the buildings, and sets a device
about the size and shape of a paperback novel against the wall. She
calmly walks to the other side of the street and waits patiently as
James slowly works the vampire back towards the place of their defense,
the vampire dodging James' attacks, flaunting his superior abilities
while being prevented from doing any kind of harm to James thanks to the
latter's greater skill level. The vampire spies Kat, and tries a few
times to get around James, but is thwarted at every turn. Slowly hereded
towards the building with the device attached to it, he backs up against
the wall, preparing to spring at James.]

[With a little smile and a friendly wave, Kat pressed the little red
button on a black box held tightly in her free hand.]

[The anti-personnel charge hits the vampire full in the back. Blasted
forward, he is instantly impaled on James' waiting sword. The assassin
wastes no time in pulling his sword free, and twisting his body to
manage a powerful vertical slash, cuts off the vampire's right arm.
Without pause, he pivots, bringing the sword back down to sever the
other arm even as the vampire's body shakes and blood fairly spurts from
his back. Without pause, James shifts his weight again and makes a rapid
strike across the vampire's abdomin, gutting him in a flash of steel,
then decapitating the vampire with a powerful and well-practiced
stroke.]

[James stands in his follow-through stance for a second, waits for the
corpse to fall, then gives the blade a jerk to cast off the worst of the
blood.]

James: (panting slightly) That was...anti-climactic. Brilliant work, by
the way.

[Kat looks uneasily at the pile of flesh that slowly turns to ash
without being consumed by flames.]

Kat: ... That was messy.

James: (nods and begins cleaning his sword) Good thing it worked. I'm
very thankful your skills haven't degraded over the years.

Kat: (looks at her shotgun) This job...

James: Is not so different from last time.

[The look on Kat's face clearly indicates she's making a mental note to
ask James to elaborate on that statement later. Yet she burns to ask
another question.]

Kat: Fire has its way with Zombies. Vampires disintegrate when their
heads are cut off. How do you kill a ghost?

James: There are ways.

Kat: (plays her trumph card) Jusenkyou?

James: ... Only certain kinds of magickal energy or particle weapons can
kill ghosts. They aren't very useful against living things, but they're
lethal to ghosts.

Kat: (gesturing to the burning piles of undead corpses) I'm going to
wind up dealing with this problem aren't I?

James: (sighs) We didn't plan things like this...Carrie is going to
secure the South China base, and then you two are going to start getting
rid of these zombies and hunt down their master.

Kat: Why?

James: (puts his sword away and stands) That's the easy part; I have to
catch some demons, and it's going to take up all of my time. I talked
with Dave about this shortly before we left.

Kat: (looks at the battlefield) ...

James: This is why Will was supposed to be here. He knows more about
Vampires, Zombies, and Werewolves than I do.

Kat: (smirks) Are the demons worse than this?

[James looks away for a moment. When he looks Kat in the eye again, his
face appears emaciated, in the light from the flames, covered in deep
shadows. His mouth hangs open like a war veteran suffering shell-shock
and his eyes appear to be little more than lifeless holes in his head.]

James: ...

Kat: (sweat drops; makes warding gestures to fend off James) Scary,
okay! I don't wanna know! I don't wanna know!

James: (normal) Sorry. So, anyway, I'll leave you to take care of the
rest of this mess. I've got to get into town.

Kat: For what?

James: I'm meeting Miko.

Kat: (understanding) Ah. Going to wear out a few matresses playing 'hide
the salami?'

James: For a woman, you sure are vile. Wait, scratch the woman part. And
for the record, we're just managing an exchange of information.

Kat: Really now? I heard she was a demon-hunting specialist.

James: She is, but she's spying on Coltrane Heavy Industries right now.
She promised an information update.

Kat: Why is she spying on them?

James: Dave is pretty certain they're building a lot weapon systems
without a military contract.

Kat: ...And?

James: That's the thing. We don't know _why_.

Kat: I thought we were dealing with supernatural stuff. Why are we
spying on some random corporation...

James: Why did we do anything we did back in the nineties?

[Kat looks at the MR-7 held in the crook of her arm. James puts his MR-7
away while Kat stands there quietly, thinking over his question.
Finally, she looks James in the eye.]

Kat: To protect and serve.

James: (with finality) To protect and serve.



[EXT. PARIS-2 CITY STREETS - NIGHT.]

[That night, long after the sun has set, the lights of Paris-2 come on,
lending the sky a yellow haze that blots out all but the brightest
stars. Seated at a lonely corner table in a cafe with 1920's decorations
is James. He is dressed in a light blue button-up shirt and dark blue
slacks. Casual accessories and shoes round out this "undercover"
ensomble. He appears unaffected by his location--an odd thing since he
is both separated from the other patrons and an easy target in this
spot. He occasionally takes a sip from a cup of coffe on the table and
reads a local newspaper, invisible against the back drop of Paris-2.]

[Miko Mido comes strolling up the street. She's wearing a pleated white
skirt that comes down to her knees. A yellow blouse with a square
collar, low-rise white pumps, and a tasteful pink purse complete the
casual outfit. She comes up to the fence of the cafe, stopping only a
few paces away from James, and looks into the night sky wistfully.]

Miko: (quietly, but not appearing to speak to James) Hmm...I have a
present. A secret little present for you. I...I think I like you, you
know. Gosh, it's a weird thing saying I might love you, but it's true,
you know. I'm not scared. If you're worried, don't be. I can handle
this. I can help. I may not understand everything you're doing, but I
agree with it.

[She looks at the sky for a moment, then continues even though James
hasn't acknowledged that she's even there.]

Miko: Jack is getting very suspicious. I ask him to keep quiet. I'm
reasonable with him. He takes well to reason, which makes sense. He's a
reasonable, practical man. I haven't gotten close to Coltrane though.
He's always away, barely at his office. He's not just handling work
elsewhere though. There's something like a black hole in his company, a
lab...or another business or something, that _nobody_ talks about. Jack
can't even get proof that it exists, but there's so much circumstancial
evidence even he can't ignore it. I know it might sound like paranoia in
my report, but it's real. It might be innocuous. A getaway for
executives, maybe? I don't know. But find it. You might be able to get
answers there.

[Miko pauses for a very long time. No-one from the sidewalk or the cafe
bothers either of them.]

Miko: My father said you're meeting went well. A word from me and we'd
have the wedding tomorrow...or so he said. I'm not sure I'm ready for
that, but... (sighs) Look. I have a present for you. I can't give it to
you now, obviously. My father has it, he'll be sending the "Goon Squad"
to deliver it when you get back to your apartment. It was his idea,
actually. You might like it... (giggles) I'm sorry, if I keep going on
like this, I'll spoil the surprise. (long pause) I love you, James. Be
safe.

[In the next breath, she's gone, skirt flapping in the breeze as she
strides down the sidewalk. James continues to hold the newspaper for
another minute, then sets the prop down. Tears stream down his cheeks,
his eyes drowning in them. Hands rest on the table. Hands scarred from a
thousand battles, hands scuffed from one battle already won today at
dusk, hands that backed an indomidible fighting spirit. The hands of a
killer, that were steady as the northern star, lay on his table with
enforced, unnatural stillness. If he were to lift them again, how badly
would they now shake?]

James: (sighs heavily, but smiles like his sould has just been saved) I
think I love you too, Miko.

[Fade to black.]

[Cue Metallica's "Better Than You" faintly in the background as the
narrator's deep, booming voice speaks over the scenes.]

Narrator: NEXT TIME, ON SIDESTEP:EVANGELION!

[Nothing yet. Need to finish the next part first.]

Narrator: ALL IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF SIDESTEP:EVANGELION!



                           [Ending credits:]

Ranting, Sidestep, lots of other stuff:
      Jared Waddell, HQ

Consulting:
      Insanity Productions Staff

Remarks:
      John Genoni, Pullman Branch

Insults, Death Threats:
      Fan Fiction Mailing List (ffml)

Absolutely Nothing:
      Andy Mucha, Kennewick Bunker

Miko Mido, the Shikima, and those with tentacles (usually) are from 'La
Blue Girl.'

Tokyo-3 and all things and characters present regarding Eva are from
Neon Genesis: Evangelion.

* The much-needed definition of 'paranormal' was borrowed from "Cast the
Crying Dream," a Ranma 1/2 megacrossover fanfic seen on the FFML.

No copyright infringement is intended. This work is copyrighted but
non-profit. Perhaps in the vein of a bizarre parody, but I'm guessing
not.

All other characters, unless noted, are copyright Insanity Productions.

Original characters created by Insanity Productions may be used in freely
in other non-profit works, without the author's prior assent (you can
get it, but you don't have to).

And thank you, the reader, for reading.


		
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