Good. Very good. Glad I read it, however, a few items need to be
addressed...see below.

--- mille2ml@jmu.edu wrote:

NGE belongs to and was created by GAINAX. This fic therefore
also belongs to GAINAX. I doubt they care. This is the first
thing I've written in several years. It's something of a what if.

Miashara


-- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
-- File: Undertow.txt

<snip>

     "Come with me," she said, pulling Shinji to his feet.
He half-resisted, but Misato muscled him into her can and

can -> car

<snip>

     "You are awake now," she said. "This is not a dream.
You're alive and fighting. And you're winning. Breathe."
     "Misato-"
     "Shinji."
     He could not talk.
     "Shinji." He did not answer. "Shinji."
     "You can't do this. You can't."
     "I know. I can't."
     Safe. "Then I've failed again? Please?"
     "No. I can't give you any power. But I can ask you to
take it yourself."
     He whimpered.
     "Shinji?"
     He wished he could look away; the fear was too great.
     "I meant everything."

Somewhere in there, a 't' is masquerading as a 'to'

I like how the narrative doesn't have a break anywhere. It fits the story
too well.

The flow after the car scene is probably where the story gets good.
Picking up from the hook is sometimes a difficult thing to do. How do you
top that opening sequence?

So, good fic.

Later,
Rick "busier than ever" Spiff

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