Suggested changes: {before : after}
On 08/07/2005 07:22 PM, DB Sommer said:
"...And it is {hereby :} the decision of this court that Saginomiya
Machine is declared bankrupt and all of its remaining assets seized
in order to be sold off and pay its tremendous debts. This will
include all of the Saginomiyas' private holdings, as agreed to by the
late Masahiro Saginomiya, who put all of his worldly possessions up
as collateral." The judge pounded his gavel with his judgment made.
"Sit down," her lawyer, Takaguchi{: ,} tugged at her sleeve, but she
shrugged off his hand.
The judge pounded his gavel {down :} again. "Order in the court. Miss
Saginomiya, I have been tolerant of your numerous outbursts due to
the recent loss of your father in this very courtroom and the
severity of your financial situation, but enough is enough."
"It is not enough!" Asuka screeched. "This is a travesty of justice!
It's Kunou Industries which should be on trial here. We had that
military contract in the bag until they bribed Councilman Orihara
into giving it to them. They're responsible for the stress inflicted
on my father that led to this trial and his heart attack. Why aren't
they here instead of me?"
Um. Because they weren't caught?
The judge shook his head. "I'm sorry, Miss Saginomiya. This court's
decision is final. Case adjourned." The judge rose from his seat,
ruffled his robes, and {exited : left} the courtroom, heading to his
chambers.
Asuka looked the curious, non-descript, man over. While she had known
many people who rode in such vehicles, this wasn't one of them.
"Funny, you don't look like a {Nome : Gnome} King."
Unless Alaska is a monarchy in this universe.
"My employer heard you have fallen on hard times. I have been
{entrusted : instructed} to offer you two things."
"Ten million dollars American for the project. An additional five if
it's completed to {: her} satisfaction."
That changed everything. The laughter inside died, replaced by hope.
"Okay, you are legitimate. Very well, I agree to your terms. It's
not like I have anything else to do." And fifteen million {dollar :
dollars} was certainly enough seed money to hatch her plans for
righteous vengeance. Perhaps things were going to turn out for the
best after all.
She entered the limousine, the dark cloud surrounding her made
brighter by blood tinged fantasies of the deaths of all {that : who}
had wronged her.
Standard disclaimer: I don't {: own} any of the Marvel characters or
other characters from the numerous animes which are within.
Standing from a position nearly thirty feet away, Kodachi Kunou
nodded at the technician standing {next to : at} the control panel to
signal the start of the test. It wasn't as though she was incapable
of operating the controls, but it would perceived as unseemly for one
of her stature in Kunou Industries to {manipulate :} personally
operate things when she could employ someone else to do it, and
appearance was everything to the members of the government's defense
committee who stood by her side. They were the ones who decided which
businesses received the fat defense contracts they had to offer, and
Kodachi intended for them to look no further than Kunou Industries.
Kodachi turned to the men. "As you can see, the XE-74, or
Safecracker' as we like to call it, can blast its way through
{duracrete : impra-crete} like it was paper mache. Enemy in a bunker?
Hiding in a fog bank would provide more protection. The same can be
said for titanium, osmium, or any other alloy."
"That's because it was set to do so," Kodachi said with a delighted
smile since the question proved a perfect segue. "One of the safety
features of the Safecracker is that it has a precise range,
mitigating collateral damage. If you're trying to hit a target that
moves out of the path of the beam, you don't have to worry about it
following through and hitting something you don't want destroyed."
That'd be the first feature disabled in the field. Overkill is barely
enough.
Orihara said, "I'm overjoyed at seeing you take over the {reigns :
reins} here. What happened to your father and brother was a tragedy,
especially since you were believed dead as well."
"No, no, no," Orihara said quickly. "Not bribes. These were
contributions to the Hokkaido Reclamation Project. I'm sure he kept
records of the donations. Look into it and you'll see." Orihara
started to walk away, then turned back around. "I'd hurry and look it
up, though. We're scheduled to check out Fujikawa-Stane's new missile
that does many of the same things your cannon does. {At : It} has the
advantage of being more portable and having a greater range. It makes
things very neck-and-neck between you. I'd hate to see you lose out
to someone that's more interested in securing these sorts of
contracts."
Despite the ineptitude of the fools Asuka had been saddled with, she
had guided them to nearly completing the SL-000. Every centimeter of
its white and red armor was as magnificent as she had predicted, if
not more so. She basked in the glow of her masterpiece. It was large,
with bulky arms and legs (one of her idiot subordinates had the
audacity to compare it to the original armor the Scrap {Iron' :
-Iron} Rose used). There was a large square unit, which looked almost
like a backpack, attached to the back where the additional power
supply and her most powerful weapon were housed. The forearms were a
bit larger than originally planned to compensate for the newer
weapons she had mounted. The {boots' : boots} of the armor were also
larger in order to house the additional engines for the flight system
she had just installed. Now the armor could generate the airspeed of
a cruise missile, though at that velocity it wasn't very
maneuverable. Still it was faster than any mere jet fighter. And then
there were technicians who were in the process of adding the Blaze
Cannon to the forearm. It appeared to be little more than a box with
an opening on one end and wires leading from it along the length of
the arm and to into the back power unit, a deception if every there
was one, given the E-Beam's power. In the center of the chest was a
triangle that housed a laser, as well as her secret weapon. A single
cyclopean slit in the helmet was the only apparent form of external
sight, but in truth there were a variety of internal sensor system
that made up for the seeming weakness.
Asuka felt supremely satisfied for all of ten seconds, then she
spotted Minoru Mochizuki, the Simpering Accountant from Whine
{Country' : Country}, approaching. As bad as her technicians were,
Minoru was worse than all of them put together. In the good old days,
when she was allowed free reign in her company, she could have
ordered him silent or, preferably, had him {fired : executed?}. Now
she was perpetually harassed by his nasally voice as he rambled on
about cost {overruns' : overruns} and efficiency {reports' :
reports}, as though such things mattered when building a work of art.
She briefly considered pretending not to notice him and making a run
for the nearest exit, but forced herself to remain where she was. The
only concession she made to herself was forcing him to come to her,
which he quickly did.
Asuka rolled her eyes at the imbecile. "Yes, well by definition a
{projection' : projection} is a guess, and I don't see how you can
hold me responsible because a few know-nothing bean counters, like
yourself, can't figure out how much a sack of rice will cost next
week."
Asuka felt like strangling the little weasel. "Look, it's a
groundbreaking prototype. We're working on a new technology, and
there's bound to be a few bugs and other unexpected problems that
crop up which end up {costing : making} the initial unit {: cost}
more than people thought it would. But I wouldn't expect someone with
a mere accounting degree to understand such technical matters."
Asuka simmered in rage, but rather than continue her diatribe, she
took a deep breath and calmed herself. "I'm convinced what I have is
superior to your intentions, and in any case it's irrelevant. I
{manage : managed} to incorporate the Blaze Cannon into the SL today.
I need to put some finishing touches on it, but expect the armor to
be completed in the next three days. I can work up a demonstration
for you. If the higher ups don't like the additional weapon systems,
I can reduce it back to the base unit in under a week, and I'll
subtract the costs from my salary."
Asuka hung up the phone, sat back in a chair and waited. It took only
{several : a few} minutes for the door to the lab to open, and a
deliveryman to roll in a cart that bore several air tanks and a gas
mask. He had Asuka sign for the material, then departed.
While everyone succumbed to the gas, Asuka quickly walked over to the
armor and opened it up. With the interior exposed, she stepped
inside, slipping her arms and legs into the proper spots. Once
settled in, the armor closed up, making it air tight expelling the
gas that had been trapped inside. There was a bit of shifting as the
insides molded to fit perfectly, just as she had designed it to. She
booted up the armor, and all its capabilities, for the first time.
She had lied to her little number cruncher. The armor was ready now
that the Blaze Cannon had been hooked up. She had given Minoru a
chance for the easy way out by allowing her to use *her* armor, but
he had refused, leaving her no choice but to hijack it. She couldn't
wait until she {was paid for : had} revenge on all those that had
wronged her; she needed it now, and the Steel Lilly was the perfect
tool for the job.
Councilman Orihara sat at his dining room table, alone as he savored
the remains of his dinner, a gourmet meal prepared by his personal
chef. All was in place for tonight. Recent death threats had
necessitated the presence of a highly trained bodyguard that remained
outside his room, but it was hardly a distraction. This was his
palace, in a manner of speaking, and quite impregnable. On the
outside it appeared to be a traditional home, one that had been in
his family for generations, but the huge lot it resided on was worth
hundreds of millions of yen and reflected his true wealth. He had his
own private gardens, reflecting pool, and numerous other displays of
affluence across his property, all of it guarded by one of the best
security systems money could buy. He had no fears, not here, in the
center of his power.
Is that the queue for the Steel Petunia to show up? Yep.
"Good riddance to crooked politicians," Sanso Takaguchi turned off
the radio in his car and gazed briefly at the ocean as it passed by.
He always enjoyed the view of ocean from the coastal highway. He took
a moment to enjoy the briny air, then switched his attention to the
upcoming meetings today. He had a conference to overview some details
about a recent case with a client. That should take about forty
minutes. Then he could have his secretary put in that new client.
That would take an hour fifteen if he stretched it out and explained
things very slowly. Then he had a business luncheon at a nearby {caf
: cafe}. Ten minutes to get there, and a little over an hour for the
meal. With any luck he could charge for five hours work in less than
three and a half and get to write off the lunch as a tax deduction.
Thank god for that little phrase and a portion {thereof,' : thereof,}
it made life so much easier.
Takaguchi was mentally adding up the hours when there was a loud
thump on the roof and he felt the car bounce on its shocks, as though
something had landed on the vehicle. Panicked, he hit the breaks,
but for some odd reason he kept going at the exact same speed. At
first he thought the breaks had gone out, but then realized the car
was starting to move not only faster, but higher. His hands clenched
his steering wheel so tightly the knuckles turned white. Somewhere in
the back of his mind, a rational part said he should try to call for
help on his cell phone, but all the other parts preferred remaining
paralyzed until something shocked them out of it. Soon he was above
the highway, then he ran out of highway and was {driving' : driving}
above the ocean with a far more breathtaking view than he had ever
experienced. He could feel himself leaning backward as the car rose
up in the sky, like a jet that had just taken off.
Kodachi watched as a white and red armored figure landed next to the
twisted pieces of metal that had once been her creation. "I think I
can identify it." She hung up the phone and dived into the nearest
empty office. Luckily she had her {attach : attache} case with her,
and this newcomer had drawn everyone's attention. That was all the
privacy she needed. Within seconds she would don her streamlined Iron
Rose armor, and then there would be hell to pay.
I'm sure she's attached to it too. I know it just isn't done, but this
would also be a good time for her to call for backup.
"It is not a knock off!" Steel {Lilly : Lily} raged as she fired her
Blaze Cannon once again. Iron Rose flew up, avoiding the blast, but
Steel Lilly had been expecting that. She put full power into her jets
and shot up at top speed, a human missile. The speed was so great
Iron Rose could do nothing as {her for : Steel Lily} slammed into her
with an airborne tackle that carried them both through the air. A cry
of pain escaped Iron Rose's lips as they collided with the very labs
that had been slated for destruction.
They landed in the third floor before skidding to a halt. Steel
{Lilly : Lily} released her hold, a bit disoriented by the
experience, and started to rise when a savage fist met her head,
knocking her backward. Another blow landed in her stomach, where the
armor was thicker, though some damage warnings flashed across her
{readout :: diagnostic : status} display.
{Underestimating : Overestimating} how much damage the second blow
had done, Iron Rose moved too {slow : slowly} as her opponent grabbed
her by the helmet with an oversized hand. The smirk under Steel
{Lilly : Lily's} visor could be felt as she said, "Let's see how you
like electricity."
I won't be marking Lilly any further. A global search and replace can
make it whichever you choose.
She rose up from the cracked and broken pavement, seething in fury
like a pent up volcano. Screaming incoherently she unleashed dozens
of blasts from her Blaze Cannon, lighting up the sky with a ruby
display. The barrage forced Iron Rose to put everything she had into
evading the aerial assault. Her old armor would have been struck a
dozen times, but with her Mark II {: only} a trio of blasts barely
nicked her suit.
Iron Rose used the opportunity to return fire. Twin repulsor beams
struck, driving Steel Lilly further into the crater she had created.
Some signs of external damage could finally be seen in the form of
some cracks appearing where the beams had {impacted : hit}.
The last of the shuttle passengers had fled to safety when the
Deathblossom beam hit Iron Rose fully in the back. The impact blew
her clean through the antenna, {severing : cutting : chopping} it in
two, where it crashed to the ground harming no one. Iron Rose herself
soared through the air in what was obviously an uncontrolled flight,
and landed out of sight.
The look of shock on Asuka's face was worth all the broken ribs,
sprained muscles, and bruises Kodachi had suffered from the assault
at her hands. Kodachi rose from her chair and had turned her back
when she heard Asuka bodily hurling herself against the glass and
sent a new round of vitriolic expletives in her direction. Kodachi
personally admitted she probably could have dealt with the situation
better, but it had been cathartic. After the beating she had
suffered, and the damage inflicted on Kunou Industries, it was the
least Asuka deserved.
Someone else pointed out that Asuka probably wouldn't believe Kodachi
without proof, but Kodachi wasn't trying to prove anything. She was
just twisting the knife a bit.