----- Original Message ----- 
From: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <lurkerdrome@sbcglobal.net>
To: "Tangent" <tangent@zoominternet.net>; "FFML" <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Friday, August 05, 2005 2:42 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [R.5][AU] MGR ch07 - ch12

"Dad brought me here a couple of times to do some training outside
the Dojo," Akane explained as she stepped over the chain and started
through the yard. "We would spar for a bit on and around the gravel
piles near the far end of the lot. He said that the accoustics would
break up anything short of yells or screams, so we wouldn't have to
worry about disturbing anyone if we got too enthusiastic."

"Geeze, Akane," Nabiki commented. "If that was anyone but Dad,
that would've sounded suspiscious."

*SNRK*

^-^

"So, Ranma," Nabiki redirected her attention as Akane lead them
further into the lot amongst the gravel piles. "How many elements
can you support? Just the Western four, or our traditional five? Or
should that be the Chinese five, since you became a Guardian Beast
there?"

Ranma thought for a moment before responding. "Eight, I think.
Shampoo, Akane, and you have Earth, Fire, and Water already.
The others are: Air, Wood, Metal, Light, and Dark. I'm pretty sure
that that's it."

And Heart! Don't forget Heart!

Sorry - No Captain Planet in this one...

Captain Chaos perhaps, or even Captain Overkill, but no
Captain Planet.

"That sounds like either an amalgamation of the various traditional
sets, or a standard videogame RPG set," Nabiki observed.

Nah...it's missing Ice and Thunder for that...(yes, Ice and Water are
separate elements in most RPG sets...well, in Squaresoft lore, anyway...do
NOT ask me why...@_@)

I'm still wondering why Sailor Moon has two Water senshi when
none of the others repeat...   <.<;;

(Oh, and of course, Light would be Holy instead...)

(Oh, and there'd be a Gravity element...)

In Soikuden maybe...   >.>

 In any event, Ranma only supports eight elements.

I never said that there weren't more elements
or nit-picky subdivisions.

(...why don't I just get back to the matter at hand...? Heh...yeah... 
^^;;)

Sure.

Even though I have fun reading thoughts like these, too...

^-^

"Not a clue, sorry," Ranma admitted.

"Final Fantasy? Breath of Fire?" Nabiki prompted.

I'm surprised Nabiki would even know about those. She doesn't seem the 
type.

Everyone has hobbies. Hers happens to include finding what
other people want for reasonable (and not so reasonable)
prices.

"Nabiki, the only video games I ever got to play were Pac-Man,
Zaxxon, and Gallaxian," Ranma explained. "Although I had gotten
rather good at Martial Arts Pinball before Pop made me quit. He
said that if I was getting so lazy as to let some blind boy beat me in
a tournament, I could be doing other things to improve my hand-eye
co-ordination. Too bad though, the kid was a really cool customer, a
regular pinball wizard! I'd have liked to challenge him again. Didn't
seem to be all there though..."

Heh.

Well, perhaps as long as he was useful, R'hul would go ahead and
eat other people's brains instead. Looking on the bright side, such
as it was,  Shin mentally prepaired himself for what he had to do.

prepared

The woman's screams were unimportant at this point. Shin had to
book least whatever showed up decided that he'd make a nice snack...

lest

"BISHOJO MAGICAL FIRE HENSHIN!" Akane yelled, posing
dramaticly, triggering her transformation.

*sweatdrop*

H'rys eyed it's surroundings warily.

its

Okay, so it wasn't a tentacle rape demon. It was, however, causing
havok, terrorizing people, and very very slimey. As it was about to
lash out at another person trying desperately to get away, Akane
decided to take action!

FWOOM!

The creature's excresions turned out to be surprizingly flammable.

Nasty.

Oh, and the z thing...AGAIN.

Also, 'excretions'.

Actually, from what other people pointed out, I meant
'secretions' instead...   <.<;;

Nodoka stared at her husband incredulously. What Genma had told
her of the training trip so far was turning out to be hard to take. Oh,
to be sure, most of it was quite normal, consisting of a sensei
seeking ever more challenging obsticals for a promising student,

obstacles

And these humans, like those on so many other worlds, liked to keep
pleanty of water handy.

'plenty'. Please stop adding unnecessary extra letters to random words.

I'll try...

My spelling, as has been noted, is occasionally haphazzard,
which is part of the reason I now have five prereaders.

Unfortunately, my most nit-picky spell checking prereader is also
the one that finally got arround to catching up with my story...

...yesterday.   o.O

Distracting the dancing elemental with a few feignts of its own, H'rys

'feints;. Please stop adding unnecessary extra letters to random words.

No, a waste receptical was not what it was reaching for. That just

'receptacle'

Ripping a sign post out of the ground, H'rys revealed that it had gotten
the fire girl's measure by pinning her to the ground through her torso.

....OUCH.

Just a quick set of biological probes then. Holding the humans jaws
apart with a set of talons, H'rys prepared to insert one of the remaining
probing tentacles through that oraface while the remaining fleshy,
rope-like probes sought out other orafaces...

Somehow, I rather saw this coming. x.x

Givin what the creatures look like, that bit of forshadowing
isn't really hard to predict. I just tried to have the apparent
activity have a different reason than the typical interspecies
lust attributed to tentacle rape demons.

Who in their right mind would agree to name their son Chaos Demon?
Unless Genma meant Wild Horse instead?

Heh!

Oh Time, what has thou done with my memories?

The thing had killed her baby sister and had been about to rape her
corpse

Yeah, that'd piss anyone off. By the way, you're missing a period here, 
and
this plus the sentence immediately after could stand to be the same
paragraph, with no break.

Okay.

There were times when H'rys really came to hate magic, even if it
was pretty much a fact of its life. For something that attacked like
a golem, hitting back was about as effective as punching water.

Fitting, that.

Nabiki didn't even notice that her height had shot up ten, twenty,
then forty feet tall as the battle intercepted broken water pipes, or
that she was now more obviously made of her element of power.

O_o;;

Nabiki-'zilla!   ^o^

At least no one was going to tell her otherwise while she was still
obviously very big, very powerful, and beyond all reason.

Size DOES Matter XD

On occasion, yes. Yes it does.   ^-^

Feeling mostly better now that the hole in her chest had closed
itself, Akane causiously followed her sister's trail of destruction,
with Ranma now riding on her shoulders. She was vaguely aware
that her shirt now had gaping hole in the front and back, and that
her left breast was thus bare, but it just didn't feel important at the
moment, so Akane ignored it.

Okay, color me confused: why didn't her costume repair itself? Given the 
way
the material is described in earlier chapters, it seems to me like it 
should
be able to.

The costumes are fully reformed with every henshin power-up.

Any bit of the costume removed or destroyed is gone until the
next henshin power-up.

"Now lets go save Nerima from that rampage, okay?," Ranma
suggested. Then, with a smirk, he continued, "We might as
well stop Squidface from destroying Nerima too, while we're
at it."

heh.

Well, one of them needs to be stopped at least...   <.<

After observing the female get bigger and more water-like with
every exposure to the broken pipes cause by their battle, H'rys
decided to try to lure its opponent away from any more of the
human hive structures. Some random searching had eventually
lead the battle to what appeared to be an area set aside for
gravel storage.

Wow, irony.

^-^

It was dry, had the advantage of loose earth material with which
might disrupt and weaken waterbased creatures like elementals
or this female hybrid, and at the very least, the huge piles of
gravel should rob its opponent of much of her momentum.

Hmm. Lots of earth material...

Yes. A bad spot to confront Shampoo in though, had she
been present.

When the hybrid suddenly shed her excess water and dropped
listlessly to her knees

The perils of pregnant magical girls.

...oh, wait. Nevermind.

o.O;;

Akane turned arround at Sensei's roar, so much louder than his
small size would suggest was possible. As she stood stunned,
with her exhausted sister in her arms, Akane could only stare in
awe at the trailing end of Sensei's breath of fire. The only sign
of the youma was a dark carbon shadow on a now glassy and
smouldering pile of gravel...

O_O

Okay, first youma in history pwnz0red by the freakin' MASCOT.

Actually - yes. This is going to allarm many of the people who
are familiar with the (relatively) normal way The Powers That Be
handle things.

Something big is comming down the pike...

Either that, or the spirits of Jusenkyo operate pretty much
like any commitee, and got the whole issue screwed up...

^-^

Meryl Streep and Millie Thompson looked over the damage in

An aging actress hanging out with an anime character?

I thought that was how their names were spelled in Trigun.

If anyone has the correct spelling, please come forward...   <.<;;

Whatever response Akane was going to give was cut short when
Nakiki glomped onto her and began wailing. "WAAAAAAHHH!
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! WAAAAAAHHH!"

Yep, she's Soun's daughter alright.

Her shell of indifference received a mighty crack not too long ago...

R'hul pondered his new appearance in the bathroom mirror. He
had a gender now, and had selected a more or less bishonen
appearance based on his chief minion's opinion that many of
the local females liked that look and would thus be disarmed
by his new form. He missed his tentacles though. Which, he
supposed, was why he had chosen to be male, given the
simularity that their one appendage had to his race's probing
tentacles, even if it was far too short and had an entirely
different function.

Smell?

...oh, THAT appendage.

Yes. THAT appendage...

"Yes, Sensei," Akane agreed readily. Nabiki just groaned and
hit her head on Akane's left shoulder repeatedly...

Heh. Not much of a dojo-dweller, Nabbykins...

Sadly, for her, that will change...   >.>

Genma stood, spirits souring high with renewed hope within his
heart. Soon he caught up with Nodoka as she headed for their
room. And then he received a bop on the head with the hilt of
the Saotome Family Sword.

Heh.

It just wouldn't be right for Genma to get off scot free...   ^-^

"And you'll get much more than that if I find out that this
multiple fiancee thing is some sort of perverted tradition of
the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts! Don't think that
I've forgotten about Otsuko, Genma!"

Atsuko

Really?  If so, I had best change it...   <.<

"But Nodoka, Sweety, that was years ago! Decades even!"

"Are you implying I'm OLD, husband?" *CRASH!*

BWAHAHAHA!   ^o^

I may just include this in the next update, if you don't mind...

NOTE: The author is not evil...

...really!   ^-^;;

(Hides from the entities that force fanfic authors to write
revenge fics)

Under the evening sky, Soun Tendo sat before his game board,
across from Ranma, where the two were playing a serious game
of shogi. The Tendo Patriarch was finding the match interesting,
as Ranma's playing style was in sharp contrast to what Soun
remembered of the boy's father's favorite tactics.

In other words, Ranma plays fair.

Got it in one!  ^-^

"I'm given to understand that my girls saw a little action today,
Ranma," Soun stated in a calm but serious tone as he examined
the board after Ranma's latest move.

"Yeah. They also got into a fight."

O.O

That is such a Ranma-ism that I just HAVE to put that in!

And then the whole 'bed' shifted, and Ranma now found himself
held in place by the brace between the two mounds, with one
resting on him as he rested on the other. Shaking his head to clear
away the remaining early morning grogginess, the gerbil-sized blue
kangaroo rat opened his eyes and looked around...

Oh...

Oh my...

Heheheheheheh.

I am not evil... I am NOT evil... I am not going to pay a lot for
this muffler...

What was I saying?  <.<;;

"Wha-a? Wha? I-I'm up! I'm u-up!" Ranma squeeked, voice
stuttering with each shake. "What's up, Sparky?"

I'm amazed Akane hasn't taken him to task for that nickname yet...

"I was wondering what was on our training agenda for today" Akane
explained, smiling. "Are we going to learn our magic attacks today,
or practice our sentai team poses? Or perhaps..."

Or perhaps NOT get totally ridiculous with this whole thing?

Hey, she just got her powers. Give her some time to calm down...

And eventually get irritated over such things as cutesy nicknames...

^-^

they've yet to get anywhere besides hurt for their trouble. As for the
school doing something to stop it, dream on, little sister. Kuno's dad
is the principle. Countering any bit of lunacy his son does might call

principal

Thank you.

Shifting around just a bit as he thought the matter through, Ranma
touched something small, round, and smooth. He didn't even have
time to be startled as the sapphire token, which had somehow made
its way into Nabiki's bag, sucked him back into itself like so much
smoke being pulled through a window by a fan...

Ranmachu, RETURN!

Why is it, whenever anyone makes a comparison between this
Ranma and a pokemon, it's always with the electric rodent?

Even I've done this, and I debated on whether or not to have
Ranma look like a Merril (Water mouse type) because it was
blue and a mouse type.

"That would be fine, Kasumi," Nodoka nodded as she removed
her geta (wooden sandals) and placed them carefully in the
getabako (shoe cupboard) of the genkan (entranceway).

Um...if you're going to use the Japanese words, put the 'glossary' as an
end-of-chapter thing, not in parentheses like this. It's awkward, breaks 
the
narrative flow, and makes one wonder why you bothered in the first place.

Okay, I'm getting enough comments about this to merit a change
of some sort. Of all of them, I like the glossery idea best, although
I must remember to correct Nodoka's slipper or sandal type too...

R'hul lounged on his remaining flesh-bag seat, absently sipping
from another bottle he had found in the kitchen. Soy sauce, this
time. Not quite as enticing as the ketchup had been, but his chief
minion's family had only the one bottle of that delightful substance.

Nasty. x.x He'd get along well with Starfire, though...

Actually, he probably would get along with her, as long as they didn't
meet on earth (or anywhere else with a relatively powerless
general population).

As Nabiki continued to absently scan Ranma's token across the
textbook pages, she failed to notice the pale blue glow being
emitted from the sapphire, nor how it briefly enveloped the whole
book before being drawn back into the lens...

Wow, that's one all-purpose magical token...

Design by commitee...

Which means it's full of quirks too.   ^-^;;

NOTE: See above notes about the non-evilness of the author.

Apply suspension of disbelief now.

"I come with an instruction manual!?" the diminutive magical rodent
exclaimed in wide-eyed shock. "What am I? A freaking radio or
something?"

Hey, don't knock it, it's useful! XD

Not to him it isn't.

At least, not directly.

"Ahem," Ranma coughed, and then straightened up, facing the
screen. "Why did I have ta become a guardian beast? Couldn't I
have done the same duties if I stayed human?" Much to the blue
rodent's consternation, their was no change on the hovering
display. "What? I'm not worthy of an answer? Is that it?"

"Why aren't you answering Ranma's questions?" Nabiki wondered.

QUERY: REASON BEHIND DENIAL OF RESPONSE TO
INQUIRIES INITIATED BY PERIPHERAL.

Oh, THAT'S lovely.

He's a mouse.

Mice are peripherals...

ANSWER: PREVENTION OF CASCADING FEEDBACK LOOP
BETWEEN TOKEN AND PROJECTED PERIPHERAL AS BOTH
ARE ACTUALLY COMPONENTS OF THE SAME ENTITY.

Well isn't THAT special.

Ranma doesn't think so...   <.<;;

This is why I don't write revenge fics...   ^-^;;

Her mystic uniform poured off of her body as it turned to sand. Too
late, Shan Pu realized her mistake as she whirled around and tried to
catch the tiny grains of sand as they were whipped away in the wind
even as her skin, eyes, and hair resumed their natural coloration. The
nude lavender haired girl stared helplessly as the sand reformed into
her regular silks in mid-air on either side of the train, already a half
mile
back and receding rapidly as the train thundered on.

Ooooooops.

They're all new to this yet...   ^-^

"Aiya!" the nubile naked Nichieju exclaimed in frustration. "That was
one of my favorite sets of traveling outfits! How could I be so stupid?

Good thing nobody's around to seriously answer that. XD

Yes, good thing that. Saves on hospital bills when Shampoo gets
offended.   >.>

Honestly, the Elder sometimes treated her as if she were still a
child of twelve or fourteen and not a warrior of sixteen full years
of age. Shan Pu was no longer some flat-chested neophyte, she
was the village champion! She won the tournament and everything,
and was even able to summon the guardian out of its stone when
the fat fool brought it to Joketsuzoku! And her Great Grandmother
STILL treated her like she was a mere child. What else did she
need to become an adult in the eyes of the Elders?

A brain at least half as large as one of her monsterously oversized boobs?

That might help...   <.<

A son who stood proudly on the right shoulder of a kimono-clad
girl with pageboy hair as the other two Tendo daughters entered
the family room from the hallway.

"Hi, Mom," Ranma waved casually at the woman seated by his father.

Despite all of her mental preparation for this very moment, Nodoka
fainted at the sight of the large blue mouse that was her son...

Anyone would.

Stress does that.

"She hates me!" The stone rodent suddenly cried out. "Momma hates
me!" With only a brief struggle to get out of Nabiki's grip, Ranma dove
into his token.

;_;

I'm not good with angst-fics, but I can pull off an
occasional angst moment.   ^-^

I'm going to get ambushed by the characters and forced
to do a self-insert one of these days, aren't I?   <.<;;

The tableau held for a long moment, as his mother gazed blankly in
his direction.  Then, she shuddered and seemed to collapse inward
on her navel as the deep bell-tone of a temple chime shivered the air
in the room.  Her body shimmered, shrunk, and was replaced by a
form that left everyone in the room staring in shock.  The dark
brown-furred creature had the body of a rabbit, a head vaguely
reminiscent of a cat with massive tufted sweeps of oversized ears
with a delicate shell-pink inner lining, limpid eyes of deepest
sapphire, and centered on the forehead was a diamond-shaped
jewel of ruby-red hue.

Oh, good lord. XD

Hehe...   ^-^

"Oh my..." Kasumi wavered hesitantly. "Maybe I'll try later." She was
seriously considering going ahead and making the attempt to see if
she would draw an elemental power, partly because she thought that
it would be neat to be a magical girl, even with the possibility of
having to fight youma, but mostly because that would give her a
better excuse to spend more time with the cute magical mascot.

NEED to get this girl together with Sakaki.

Sakaki?

"Well, he may have been putting up a good front," Nabiki relented
and proceeded to present her hypothesis, "but Ranma's been under
a lot of stress ever since the spirits of Jusenkyo turned him into a
Guardian Beast.

Naw, y'THINK?

Some people need the obvious pointed out to them.
Many of these people live in Nerima...

"Well, I suppose that's reasonable," Nodoka admitted guiltily.
"Now... who are you again?"

*facefault*

See above revenge fic denials...   <.<;;

In random locations throughout the ten foot radius dome the mist
had taken up, leaving Nabiki naked and her clothes scattered across
the room.

She REALLY needs to get the hang of that, pronto...

They all do.

Ranma didn't get his empowerment in any of the traditional
ways. He has, in effect, been asigned powers and effects by
commitee, which means (among other things) various random
flaws.

Although Urd might insist that this one is a feature instead.

^-^

Instead, she was lifted up and back, uncurling from her seated
position to floated weightlessly, as her kimono and the rest of her
garments, plus several pieces of Nabiki's kimono which she had
forgotten to put down, burnt away into glowing embers which
floated up for a moment before spiraling into the sapphire lens.

They need less clothing-destructive henshin sequences...

...I can't believe *I* of all people just *SAID* that. @_@

Actually, the clothes aren't really being destroyed in their normal
sequenses - they are being converted and stored.

It's the quick and dirty henshin that destroys them.

Akane made no move to try to put in in place, and the token
remained on the table...

Which suddenly collapsed under the weight of several hundred
pounds of blue fur coated muscle as eight feet of giant saber-toothed
and gorilla-armed kangaroo rat came out of the token so fast that
Akane's eyes crossed trying to make sense of it.

O_o;;

Ahem...

Charizard! I choose you!   ^o^

(author hides after making that joke)

"Damn, Sensei's scary in that form!"

No joke...o.o;;

Wait until you see it in a fight!   ^-^

"The family room is fine, Nabiki," Akane groused. "And Nezumi-'zilla..."

*SNRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK*

Hehe...

Nabiki blushed, realizing that she had completely forgotten that she
was naked in the confusion. "Um... I'll be right back down as soon as
I dress!" She bit out, flustered at her lapse. "I'll meet you in the
guestroom!" And thus, Nabiki turned again and ran down the hall!

Don't need that exclamation point there.

Okay

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" squealed the older woman with delight, as
she sat up and snatched the azure rodent out of the air before he
had a chance to hit the floor! "You are sooooooo cute! Yes you are!
Yes you are!"

*FACEFAULT*

Hehe...

"That HAS to come from your side of the family, Dad. I don't
remember Mom ever doing that..."

*SNRK*

Hehe...

Somebody had to say it.

And Nabiki already bawled her eyes out in a previous chapter...

^-^;;

For a moment, nothing else happened other than a mother horribly
embarrassing her child...

Then Nodoka was tackled by Kasumi!

"MINE! He's MY cuddle-buddy! He gave me back MY childhood first!"

Sweat drops formed on the heads of Soun, Genma, Nabiki, and Akane
as they watched two grown woman engage in a cat-fight over a rodent...

*facefaults straight to hell, laughing all the way*

I like my omake theater bits...

Even though I'm sure that the characters hate me for thm...   <.<;;

Man, I am loving the HELL out of this story. Hang on, I'll do C&C for the
next chapter in a bit...

Okay...   ^-^

Tangent 



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