Michael A Chase wrote:

Suggested changes: {before : after}

On 07/20/2005 09:44 PM, DB Sommer said:

 

"Good luck," her friends said, using Akane's former cover and
watching events unfold from afar.
   

Smart of them, the afar part.
 

% Always a wise precaution in Nerima.

School was over, but rather than rushing home for some relaxation and
fun, Sayuri found herself staring at her watch intently as she
waited by her locker, wishing the second hand would move faster. She
had promised to meet Ranma on their... date at the end of last class.
Sayuri was of the school of thought that it was best to get
unpleasant things finished as quickly as possible and put them behind
her. She had agreed to meet him at three fifteen, and if he was even
one second late, she'd claim she was stood up and not have to go out
with him again.
   

She's out of detention?  I thought it'd last through her freshman year
in college.
 

% She was let out for good behavior.

Sayuri snarled, "No holding hands. No kissing. Accidentally brushing
against me qualifies as a home run, as far as today goes."
   

He'll take any home runs he can get.
 

% But then, don't we all?

In response, Kunou pointed the sword at Ranma. "I wish you would go
out on an enjoyable date with me."
   

That's actually probably the least harmful wish he could make.
 

% Yes, well that's only the opening salvo. It'll get worse.

Sayuri couldn't believe her eyes as she watched the pair exit the 
restaurant. Ranma's instantaneous turnaround defied explanation. It
also meant Sayuri's date was over. It was the first time she had ever
been delighted in being dumped by her date in favor of a guy.
   

It's probably the first time a guy did it to her though.
 

% This is true.

As she and Akane left, they passed by Misao. Akane held back for a 
second and whispered to the woman, "By the way, she sleeps in the
nude and has the cutest little birthmark on her scrumptious backside.
I can't resist the urge to swat it whenever she walks past."
   

That was just plain mean, but by the time the story gets back to
Furinkan, Akane and Shampoo will be lovers.
 

% Heh. More like this is Akane's revenge for the bitch remark.

"Technically, it's still locked. You just cracked the hinges." Akane
stepped over the fallen gate.
   

True.
 

% Yeah. Akane and Shampoo are very snippish with one another.

"Whine, whine, whine. Shampoo bet Akane pussy hurt, too."
   

Actually it doesn't, which is a large part of her reason for being here.
 

% Heh. True.

"He all yours," Shampoo assured her roommate and took a step back.
   

She's no dummy.
 

% But she did overestimate her foes's abilities, and gives Akane the 
opening score, so to speak.

"That's impressive." Akane suddenly lashed out with a fist, sending
it crashing right into the Dojo Destroyer's midsection. He simply
stood there, looking down at the fist.
   

Didn't she aim a bit high?
 

% She doesn't go for the low blow, just in case they can work things out 
and who knows what might happen. :)

While the back of Kunou's mind was offended at the idea of a woman
being {buried : impaled} on his manhood, the more forward parts of
his mind that were affected by the magic, including his ego, were
stroked by her flattery. That he was so manly with other men
naturally meant women would be impressed by his attributes as well.
While this wench was impudent, at the same time, she was
acknowledging Kunou's proper place as being a superior lover. It
eased his distaste, somewhat.
   

I'm pretty sure Ranma's an innie now instead of an outie.
 

% Oops. Will change.

% Thanks for the comments. They are appreciated.

DB Sommer


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