Exceedingly interesting.  The best parts of this one seem to me more 
evocative than your earlier experimental
story "I Am Become", but like that earlier work, I find it hard to stop 
reading this whenever I start.

Brian Randall wrote:

	[ ...of Today ]

	Her queen's final words to her echoed.  That order to maintain what
could, and carry on to the future.

I think you're missing either a "she" between "what" and "could", or a 
"be maintained" after the "could".

 As instructed, she had not been at
the final battle.  She watched from a place outside of space, numb and
unfeeling as all she had known crumbled.
 

heh.  Third time through, that last sentence is... interesting.  Setsuna 
knows _exactly_ what she's
sentencing Ranma to...

	[[ Nerima is a city of tinder ]]

	A young martial artist gathered his small child into his lap, and
looked deeply into his wife's eyes, pledging that she would shape him
 

I think you want "he would shape him".

	"So, what _are_ you saying, then?" Ukyou asked, more of a growl, as
she rubbed at the tears on her face.  "You're trying to tell me that
you're just going to throw me by the wayside?  Again?"

	"That ain't it!" he protested, shaking his head.  "Look, Ucchan,
you're my friend, and one of my better friend's at-"  He cut off
suddenly, eyes widening as he gasped, reeling as though physically
struck.  "No," he breathed shakily.  "Saffron!"
 

Yes, the "Dies Irae" influence is very evident here...

	In the end, unflinchingly, Setsuna did as she had been bidden.  It
hurt, but as she had practiced, the hurt had lessened.  Now, after
centuries, this small thing ... these last bits of meddling ... they
felt so small, so insignificant that sometimes she wondered where the
pain had gone.

	Perhaps, she mused, there simply hadn't been room for it anymore. 
Perhaps, loyalty could triumph over her own wishes ... as it once had
for her husband.
 

Again, interesting parallels... except that Setsuna can't be sure she's 
being loyal; Serenity the
elder never knew what measures Setsuna would have to take, and Setsuna 
won't tell Serenity
the younger.  So Setsuna is thinking there's more parallel here than 
there is.

	***

	[[ And From the West, a Spear of Flame ]]

	His arrival was preceded only by the rolling curtain of flame that
exploded from his impact point.  Buildings were reduced to ruin in
moments, the devastation expanding to consume all of Nerima before it
stopped.  Smoke and dust billowed upwards in clouds that cloaked the
city in darkness.

	And then, deep and furious, filling the ominous clouds with flashes
of red, a voice bellowed in Mandarin Chinese, "Where is Saotome
Ranma?"
 

Heh.  I think you've caught his attention, Saffron!

	Ranma's mind had cast aside everything but the immediate battle. 
There was more, of course, but he couldn't afford to consider it, not
now.  He couldn't think about the exploding remains of buildings he
crashed through.  Konatsu's cry of pain before nothing, or Ukyou's
pained gasp.

	It was hard to tell, beneath the skies of rolling fire, where he was
going.  He felt, distantly, that the magic of the phoenix pill was
still working to save him, though the body clutched in his arms-- 
Think of that later, he thought, turning his attention ahead of him. 
A ... a green field.  Yet unburnt.

	Perhaps a safe place.  Saffron was behind him, he knew, but his
attention was elsewhere, a stream of fire wide as a city block
obliterating ... something ... while he yelled, continuing to demand
that Ranma show his face.  There, the school!  That was the track!

	The school was intact.  He moved forward, drawing a breath of
thankfully smoke-free air, and leapt to the peak of the roof.  The air
was clear, allowing him to see through the narrow span above the
smoke, and beneath Saffron's curtain of flame.

	In the distance, the phoenix god hovered, the molten sunlight pouring

>from his hand erasing the Neko-Hanten from Tokyo, and leaving a

streaked green spike across Ranma's vision.  He looked away, closing
his eyes, and tried to take stock of the situation.

	What had he seen?  He had seen the clouds of smoke, he decided,
nothing more.  Surely, the smoke would prevent him from seeing any
buildings.  He set down the body--  He unburdened himself, and opened
his eyes again.
 

Extremely effective passage, I thought.  As are the next few pages.

	Ami heaved a shuddering sigh, and glanced at the boy.  He rose from
the body, and stared at Setsuna, his eyes hard.  "Last time," he
growled, "I had a magic staff.  I can't do this.  Not alone."
 

Something's going on here, though exactly what is (deliberately?) 
unclear.  Why would Ranma
direct this comment to Setsuna?  Or admit there's anything he can't do 
alone, to strangers?
Does he dimly recognize his wife from a former life, perhaps?

	"Simply heal him," Setsuna said.  "The shattered pieces of his soul
will mend.  If not ... then the Glaive will destroy him."
 

For Usagi, of course, this is no choice at all; she can't see anyone 
(well, okay, any _human_)
perish.

	[ In Private, an Objection ]

	"Setsuna!" she hissed, once the others were distracted with looking at Makoto.

	The woman halted, one foot across a line of rubble leading deeper
 

Heh.  So Setsuna has one foot over the line, does she?  Oh, I think 
Usagi might judge it
to be somewhat more than that!

The Guardians were needed, because we were soldiers, but not warriors.
We had those who fought before us, and we supported.  You won't
remember this ... not yet.  But their spirits were not close to the
Queen, and they were left behind."
 

This assertion was not swallowed easily, by the way, but it did go down.

	[[ Among the Ashes ]]

	The koi pond, Ranma had decided, was the center of the Tendo home. 
It was now a molten pit, which he stood to one side of.  He had just
finished calculating where he thought the living room would have been
in relation to the dojo when he caught sight of her.

	"You," he said flatly.

	"A dark day, son-in-law," she said quietly. 
 

Nice scene, again.  It makes both logical and story sense for Cologne to 
be the other
survivor.

	"So.  Now what?"

	"I don't know, Son-in-law.  I imagine that the authorities will be
here soon.  Your name was shouted across the sky.  Countless lie dead.
Perhaps you will find safety and healing.  Perhaps you will find
blame and anger.  I can only tell you that if you stay, you will not
find privacy.  Not for a long time."
 

Very, very nice way for her to phrase it.

	He nodded, reaching into the ashes, and pulling out the Tendo family
naganita, miraculously unscathed from the flame.

Unless I'm missing something... you never even hinted a a reason why it 
was unscathed, did you?

	He ran into her just after he'd passed the remnants of the dojo,
while he was in the shadow of a partially remaining wall.  For a
moment, he considered trying to speak to her.  To ask her what she'd
done.  To ask what _he'd_ done.
 

Some part of Ranma definitely knows Setsuna.  This is not the behavior 
he'd shown to a someone
he suspects of maneuvering him into grabbing the glaive; some part of 
him is utterly certain that her
meddling goes much, much deeper than that.

	A casual stroll brought her to a teahouse, where she fumbled a singed
bill from one pocket, and bought a cup of hot chocolate as she sat to
watch the news on television.

	"...few survivors.  Currently, authorities are investigating the
whereabouts of this 'Saotome Ranma'.  If you see anyone matching this
description...."  And then it cut to a shot of his form, blurry, and

>from a great distance, purple cloak flaring behind him, weapon in his

hands flexing like a yari as he whipped it about, forming spirals of
shadow all about Saffron.
 

Somewhat of a guess on the authorities' part, unless Saffron was yelling 
more than you
showed us.  What ties the name Saffron came looking for to his eventual 
nemesis?  Particularly
when the Sailor Senshi were also around?

	She shivered, and then someone sat down at the table next to her,
pointing a remote control and changing the channel to sports news. 
Swallowing, Ranma turned to confront the woman who had offered her the
magical staff again.  "Why won't you leave me alone?" she sighed.
 

And Ranma must be immune, one way or another, to the Senshi's glamour, 
as I doubt Setsuna
entered this teahouse wearing her fuku.

	"I'm sure," she murmured.  "Give up your name.  Find a new one.  I
don't care what it is -- you're a wanted criminal now.

A conscious exaggeration on Setsuna's part?  A wanted material witness, 
certainly; but what
crime could Ranma be charged with at this point?

	[[ Makoto's new Roommate ]]

	Makoto blinked, and then her eyes opened, light brown and plainly
confused.  Rei bit her lip, and asked, "Hey, are ... you okay?"

	"I'm fine," Makoto said dizzily.  "Where's ... where's Ranchan?"

	Rei wasn't certain how to answer that question.  Minako hazarded, "Who's that?"
 

I read this to say that Rei was aware, either from her sight of the eyes 
or from the feel of Makoto's aura,
that this person might not be Makoto; Minako also might be aware that 
something's off.  Usagi, on the
other hand...

	"What is your life, Ukyou, beyond Ranma?

A very good question...

	"Gotta get better at using this," he said, twirling the Tendo family
naganita absently.  "Is this one gonna be good?"
 

(sp) naginata

	"You know," he said, looking at the hole he'd put the toy in, "I
think I see what she was really up to."

	He crouched low, peering at the dead screen.  "When I lost
everything, I had you.  I never really let it all go.  I just made you
it.  I needed a new center for my life, and you fit the bill.  You
told me what to do and when to do it."

	Sighing, he looked up at the sky.  "I could ask you questions, and
you'd have answers.  But Setsuna said you were just a child's toy,
even if you say you loved me."  Then he looked at the toy again. 
"You're not just a toy.  You're not just some woman who died thousands
of years ago ... and if you were, this wouldn't be your funeral,
either."

	He swallowed, and let tears flow down his face.  "You're the ones I
never truly let go of," he whispered.  "You're Akane.  And Nabiki. 
Kasumi.  Tendo-san.  Pop.  Mom."  He sniffled, and shoveled dirt in,
working on filling in the hole.  "You're my old life," he said.  "But
I'm still me.  And Cologne said sometimes....  Some parts of your past
you have to let go of."
 

Another very effective scene.

	"But you do not love her!" the Princess protested.

	"I do," he whispered earnestly, offering his sister a sad smile.

	Setsuna's eyes widened with horror.  "No," she whispered.  "I set you free!"

	"I did not ... but I've grown to love her.  Some day ... I believe I
will love her more than you.  Some day ... perhaps you will love
another more than I."  Then he kissed her on the cheek.  And they
broke apart from one another, the dance ended.

	"No!" Setsuna sobbed.  "Not like this!"
 

Nice irony here.

A very compelling and absorbing read; thanks for writing and sharing!



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