Curses!
I'll never be able to read Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou again without this
image lurking in my mind.
Curses!
:-p
On Wed, 6 Jul 2005, DB Sommer wrote:
Fusions That Should Never Be VI
FotNSCC
This one is much, much shorter than my usual FTSNB. Sorry. I�d say it�s
more spamfic in size, but it probably has earned the Fusion That Should
Never Be title to it because, well, it really is a fusion that should
never be.
Any and all C+C is appreciated. You can contact me at
[sommert@connecttime.net]
All of my fics are stored at the following:
Larry F�s new address at:
http://www.rakhal.com/florestica/d_b_sommer/index.html
And also Angcobra is now storing fics, at
http://www.hostultra.com/~AngCobraFics/dbsommer.html
At fanfiction.net:
http://www.fanfiction.net/
Or R+C books at:
http://www.fanworks.org
Standard disclaimer: I do not own Yokohama Quiet Country Caf� or the
series it�s been fused with. I�d like it to be a surprise.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Morning had turned to early afternoon by the time Alpha had finished
setting up the caf� for business. A fuse had blown out just as she
started preparing thins, and it had taken the better portion of a half
hour to track down the box the extras were stored in. By the time she
had replaced the fuse, precious time had been lost. Working diligently,
(as though the human-looking robot worked in any other way) the caf� was
finally open. Now she stood patiently by the counter waiting for her
first customer of the day.
Alpha had barely enough time to finish a cup of coffee when a rumble
declared her wait over. She could hear several separate engines, very
loud ones. A group of customers then. She moved toward the front of the
dining area, a couple of meters from the doorway, to greet her impending
customers with a smile.
The door to the caf� flew inward, torn off its hinges. A giant of a man,
nearly seven feet tall, stood in the door frame. It was obvious he had
massive muscles, since he wore nothing under his open leather vest. A
bright pink and blue Mohawk hair cut that was tall enough to follow the
motion of his head drew the attention of the eye. Behind him, several
other figures, every bit as tall and big, stood behind him.
His piercing gaze looked down at the smaller Alpha and a wolfish grin
spread across his face. �Well well, well. Look here boys. It�s a babe
just waiting for us.�
Alpha continued smiling warmly at him. �Why thank you. I�m Alpha and
I�ll be your waitress this afternoon. However, before I can seat you,
I�m afraid I�m going to have to ask you to reimburse us for the door you
destroyed.�
The giant snarled. �A mouthy one, eh? I was going to treat you nice and
rape you, but if you�re going to have that kind of snotty attitude, I�m
going to kill you instead.�
Alpha�s smile weakened slightly. �I�d advice against that. I am
programmed to defend myself.�
�Defend against this!� The man brought out a huge hand axe that had been
hidden behind him, tucked in his waistband. He swung it in a huge
overhand arc, intent on splitting Alpha in two.
Alpha side-stepped the blow, allowing the axe to bury itself in the
caf�s wooden floorboard. She tapped the man on his forehead with a
single finger, then drew back.
The giant pulled his axe out of the ground. �Nimble bitch, aren�t you?
Well I��
�Oh, I hope I remembered to pick up extra bleach when I was in town,�
Alpha said fretfully.
The man shivered in fury. �Pay attention! I�m going to kill�� Again he
was brought up short, this time by the area of the forehead Alpha had
touched swelling like a balloon. It continued growing larger, the man
crying out in animalistic pain. His cries ceased as that area of his
head exploded like a giant zit, sending out blood, bone, and gore
everywhere in a spray that covered everything. Once the initial spray
ended, his body collapsed limply to the ground.
Alpha turned to the others. �Now that that�s taken care of, can I take
your orders now? I recommend the house blend. I hand grind it fresh
myself everyday.�
�Get her!� one of the others shouted.
Alpha sighed. �I was afraid you�d say that.�
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Business was slow, so the old man had decided to take a break from
working his garage/gas station and grab a cup of Alpha�s coffee. It was
the best in all of Yokohama. He wandered into the caf� and came to an
abrupt halt, taking in the sight of blood and viscera spread all over
the place. Alpha stood in the center of it all, dressed in an apron and
covered nearly head-to-toe in blood as she scrubbed the floors furiously.
�Morning, Alpha. I see you had company,� the old man said nonchalantly.
Alpha looked up from her work. �It�s the third time this month. I�ve had
more gangs attack this place than customers looking for a bite to eat.�
The old man walked closer, finding a few oases free of gore on the
floor. �It�s a good thing your caf� is at the outskirts of town. I
shudder to think of what would happen if any of these psychotic thugs
ever made it into town.�
�I shudder to think of what�s going to happen if I don�t get some
customers that aren�t trying to kill me, especially since those ones
usually end up wrecking the place.�
The old man considered that. �Tell you what. I�ll take the bikes off
your hands. I can get a good price for them. That should cover the
damage and leave you a little ahead. By the way, I think you missed a
spleen.�
�Where?�
�Under that table there.�
Alpha looked in the direction he was pointing. �That�s a kidney. Spleens
are shaped differently and are darker in color.� Alpha stopped cleaning
and sighed. �I hope Master Kenshiro finds his girlfriend and gets back
soon. Running the Fist of the North Star Country Caf� is stressful,
bloody work.�
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
End Spamfic.
Yes, it�s a Fist of the North Star/Yokohama Quiet Country Caf� fusion.
Hey, both series take place in a post apocalyptic world where
civilization isn�t what it was. They both center on characters on
quests. One�s just more� violent, than the other. Why, they�re
practically identical. I�m just glad I managed to get the fusion done
before anyone else grabbed the idea.
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