Dragonboy:  Ready to go?

Stiel:  You're the boss.

Dragonboy:  And don't you forget it.


Dragonboy & Stiel presents:  A C&C/MST for-

Ranma 1/2

Nabiki?...Impossible!

By

Nicholas Stone

Part 3- A Magical Mystery Tour:  Chapter 9

       Ukyo�s alert brought Nabiki quickly to the door where she found
Ranko taking Tatewaki�s coat and gloves.  Two of Maeda�s men waited to
take the scion of the Kuno Industries to their master, but she
interceded moving up to wrap a friendly arm around his.
       �Oh, Nabiki,� said Tatewaki feigning surprise, �Did not see you
come in?�

Stiel:  Add an 'I' before 'did' and change the question mark to a period.

       Ahead they spotted Okura and Vicky with Sachi in step behind,
making their way towards them.  Maeda held a bright smile on his face as
they closed and Nabiki forced back her urge to sneer.
       �And thus approcheth the wolf ready to devour his prey,� she
said.

Dragonboy:  Now that sounds more like a Kuno-esque statement.

Stiel:  Even though it was Nabiki that said it.

       Okura greeted Tatewaki with a bow.  �Tatewaki Kuno.  So, we meet
again after such a long time.�
       �Yes.  In Osaka if I recall.  When the Kuno Industries out bided
your shipping firm for the rights to transport all commodities coming
into the southern ports.  A very lucrative deal I must say.�

Stiel:  Nothing like rubbing old victories in the face of someone when 
you're
trying to stay on their good side.

       A stutter, Okura catching himself lost for words.  He blinked
while maintaining his composure, cleared his throat before answering.
�Uh, yes I recall too.  This is my secretary; Victoria Saffron.�

Dragonboy:  This paragraph seems a little over-worded.  You could probably
take out the whole second sentence and still get the same point across.

       Okura started to usher Tatewaki towards the sitting room when
Tsubasa appeared between them again.  �Your �cube�, sir,� he said
dropping the lump into his drink.
       �Ah yes, thank you.  Now could you bring me a stir stick my fine
minion?�
       The corner of Tsubasa�s lip curled slightly up at the remark, but
he nodded and went off again.

stiel:  Is Kuno acting this way to Tsubasa as part of an act to throw off
Maeda, or is it just because it's in his nature to feel he should be catered
to?

       �Would you like something to nibble on sir?� said Konatsu.  He
held a tray full of finger sandwiches and sushi rolls up and Tatewaki
calmly looked them over before selecting one.
       �Oh yes, I would recognize this food anywhere,� he said between
bites. �Kasumi Tendo?�
       Maeda nodded with a slight smirk.  Tatewaki finished the roll
taking another.

Kuno:  What is this, exactly?

Konatsu:  Kasumi called them 'frenchman rolls'.

Kuno:  Perhaps I could get the recipe from her?

       �You really have gone out all the way here, Okura,� said
Tatewaki.
       �Anything to please my guests, Tatewaki.�
       �Yes, but to take away Nabiki and my access to her exquisite
sister�s cooking.  Painful indeed.�

Dragonboy:  Kuno's bluntness is in full force tonight.

       Nabiki could only roll her eyes.
       �Well, if you are interested then maybe we could go and chat
privately about future arrangements with her, hmm?�
       Oh no, he�s going to get Tatewaki alone.  I�m doomed!
       A tap on the arm suddenly interrupted Tatewaki.  �Your �stir
stick�, sir,� said Tsubasa.
       Tatewaki held out his glass and Tsubasa tossed it in with more
than enough of a toss, storming off.

Dragonboy:  Uh...that sentence looks awfully strange, I don't even know
how to tell you to change it.

Stiel:  Maybe you can just say 'Tsubasa tossed it in angrily, then stormed 
off'.

Bad enough he had to hump that damn satellite dish up to the top,

Stiel:  (Head in hands) Oh god...that is a really bad choice of words, 
buddy.
It can give some readers (i.e. me) some bad mental images.

       Slowly, Ono turned his head towards the front of the van and it
was then that he made out the shaggy brown fur of a good sized Brown
Bear draped over the front seats ripping and tearing the upholstery in
search of an evening snack.  His blood went cold, chest tight and Tofu
looked back at Hikaru.  He let out a squeak and then said, �Hikaru!�
       �Yeah Doc?�
       �Bear!�
       �Yeah, Bear.�
       �H-Here!�
       �Yeah, there.�
       �B-Bear!�
       �Ah-huh.�
       Ono chanced another look back over his shoulder again.  The Bear
was still busy ripping the seats apart and he took careful steps away
heading towards Hikaru and the relative safety distance would provide.

Dragonboy:  Well, unless there's really an American league baseball player
tearing up their van, I would suggest uncapitolizing the word 'bear'.

Half-way, Tofu broke into a run and dived headlong into the brush.

Dragonboy:  dove, not dived.

       �Hikaru, Hikaru!� Ono frantically whispered as he thrashed about
trying to right himself up.  Gosunkugi helped him and they sat quietly
waiting for Doctor Tofu to regain his composure.  The good doctor
suddenly grabbed Hikaru by the shoulders.
       �How long has that Bear been in there?� he asked.

Tofu:  More importantly, why haven't you gotten his autograph?  The Bears
are my favorite American team!

       �You took it off?  Gee Doc that wasn�t so bright.�
       �D�oh!� grunted Ono, placing a hand to his face.  �Happy
thoughts, happy thoughts, Tofu.  He�s still needed.�
       Ono looked down at Hikaru.  �I took it off so I would not lose it
while I was playing TARZAN!�
       �Ooo, better keep it down, Doc.  Bear might hear you.�

Stiel:  I was planning on bringing up my older comment on Tofu's out-of-
characterness again, but if it were me, I think I'd be wanting to kill
Gosunkugi about now, too.

       A tense moment followed and then Ono sighed.  He shook his head
and stared out at the van again.  �This just can�t get any worse,� he
said.
       A few more seconds passed then Hikaru said, �Yes it can.�
       �What do you mean by that, Hikaru?�
       �Well, this stuff, these plants around us� uh, some of it is
Urushi.�

Stiel:  We're not campers.  Is that anything like poison ivy?

       Ono�s finger�s parted.  �What dinner?�
       �The one I was enjoying until I was so rudely interrupted.
Kasumi fixed me up a Bento box before we left.  You know I swear your
wife could prepare a full course banquet in less than two seconds.  You
are a lucky man, Doctor Tofu.�
       A tight grip latched up around Hikaru�s throat, Ono glaring at
Gosunkugi with death in his eyes.
       �Uh� should I have gotten you one too, Doc?� gasped Hikaru.
       Doctor Tofu said nothing as he pulled Gosunkugi back down into
the brush�

Stiel:  Gos isn't going to make it to the end of this fic.

Dragonboy:  I am inclined to agree.

       Ryoga could barely manage carrying both the equipment they needed
and Akane; whose now thoroughly inebriated person could barely stand
upright with out his support.  How she still managed to navigate there
way around the grounds was beyond him, but there came several times when
he had to place a hand or arm across her mouth to keep her silent.  Now
they stood, or at least he stood staring up at the third story window
trying to figure out how to get them up and inside without being
discovered.
       �Ranma� gonna need my Ranmaaa,� sang Akane, slumped up against
his back.

Dragonboy:  I'm guessing that Ranma's never let Akane have wine with
dinner.

Stiel:  (Singing) Wasteeed awaaay again in Margaritaville!

       Akane frowned.  �Ryoga?�  He nodded.  �Ryoga?  Ryoga, where is my
Ranma?�
       �Inside with the others.�
       �Inside?�  She glanced past him at the building and Ryoga could
see a small pout forming on her lips.
       �Oh no, oh no, Akane please don�t start crying.  This is not the
time too be crying!�
       �He doesn�t love meeeee!  BWAAAAA�murph!�

Dragonboy:  And I see she's reached the depressive state of drunkeness.

Stiel:  (Singing)  Some people saaaay, that there's a wooooman to blame!
                       But I know, it's all Ranma's fault!

       Ryoga clasped a hand over her mouth and not a moment to soon as

Dragonboy:  too soon.

       �No, stop it, Akane!�  She did but he could sense her pout
returning.  �Okay, I�m sorry.  Uh stay there while I get this grappling
hook out, okay?�
       �Sure, Ranma.�

Ryoga:  Hmm, Akane thinks I'm Ranma, Ranma and Akari aren't around,
and we _do_ have a minute or two to spare...

       Akane was not paying attention to Ryoga.  In fact she was not
paying much attention to anything as her legs buckled like a ragity-ann
doll, slumping back down towards the ground.  Ryoga stood her back up.

Dragonboy:  And now she's in the 'Loss-of-all-equilibrium' stage.  A 
personal
favorite of anyone who loves watching people trip over themselves.

Stiel:  And don't anyone say that they don't, either.

       �Oh great, you can�t even walk by yourself yet alone climb.
Akane it was only one gulp!�

Dragonboy:  I think this came up last time, too, but I think that should be
'let alone.'

       �Mmmm, and it was warm too.�
       Ryoga felt like crying himself not believing this was happening.
This is why Tom Cruise always worked alone!

Dragonoboy:  Though I think Tom's real concern was having his teammates
turn on him (like Mr. Phelps, for instance) rather than them getting drunk.

He drew in a breath and
stopped to reexamine the situation.  Okay, Hibiki, you�re a police
officer.  That means you have to be resourceful and patient.  Your
partner is wounded and you can�t leave�em behind, so what do you do?

Dragonboy:  Hope she reaches the 'So-drunk-that-they-pass-out' stage real
soon so you can carry her away without worrying about an outburst?

Stiel:  Panic and run around in circles?

       He looked at Akane.  Tiny Woman,

Stiel:  woman,

 He draped the bag over a shoulder and after a short prayer,
leaped up grabbed the rope, pulling them up.

Dragonboy:  leaped up, grabbed the

       �Wait a minute,� he muttered between his grunts and strains.
�This girl ain�t light!  No wonder you sink like a rock in water.  Where
is it all at?�

Dragonboy:  Since Ranma was able to carry Akane with seemingly little
difficulty in the series, we can only assume that Akane's been putting on
weight since then.

Stiel:  Lack of sexual activity from her husband combined with all the take-
out he probably orders for them is bound to add a few pounds.

       �Oooh, look at me!  I�m Jane!�
       �Akane, stop it!�
       She looked up.  �And Ranma, Ranma, you�re Tarzan taking me up to
his loft in the trees!  Climb, you big wild beast of a man!  Take me,
take me up.  Ravage me with wild reckless abandon!�

Stiel:  Lucky for Ryoga he's married to an oversexed woman, who seems to
have cured him of that annoying nose-bleed problem.

       �And the Devil is working overtime tonight too.�  He continued to
climb up ignoring Akane�s advances.  �I still wonder why I�m not
bleeding to death.  Good thing Akari has one advantage over Akane.  She
doesn�t weigh eight billion tons.�

Stiel:  O_o

Dragonboy:  Apparently, one of Akane's recipes is also a formula for Dark
Matter.

       �Akane, what are you doing?�
       �I�m Tinkerbelle!�
       �
       �
       �

Dragonboy:  ...

Stiel:  ...

       �Okay.  I got �a get you inside and sobered up somehow.�
       Ryoga grabbed the rope and climbed until he stood precariously on
the window ledge.  Carefully, he reached into his pocket and pulled out
a pocketknife, selecting the thinnest blade and opened it up.

Dragonboy:  change 'selecting' to 'selected'.

separated the two sides, sliding the blade between them.  All too easy,
joked Ryoga, but then Akane wanted to prove him wrong.

Dragonboy:  Ryoga should know better than that.  You never say 'all too
easy'.

Stiel:  Or 'What's the worst that could happen?'

Dragonboy:  Or It can't get any worse than this.'

       �Fluuutter, flutter, flutter, flutter!� she said, flexing her
shoulder back and forth.
       Ryoga lost his grip falling away from the window leaving the
knife wedge in place.

Stiel:  grip, falling

Dragonboy:  change to 'wedged'

       �Don�t-do-anything-Akane,� Ryoga said.  He found the knife again
and carefully slid it down the seam until it stopped on the interior
latch.  Carefully, Ryoga slid the blade out probing until he found the
bottom of the latch and then slid the blade back in.
       �Okay, let�s hope this window�s not alarmed.�

Stiel:  There he goes, jinxing himself again.

       He slid the blade up and was rewarded by the sound of the latch
scrapping up out of the holder and falling free.  Ryoga pushed both
windows open and stepped down into Maeda�s office�

Dragonboy's Thoughts:  Not a lot to say this time around, except just keep
up the good work.

Stiel's Thoughts:  The story's pace is beginning to pick up a little more 
now
that the mission is underway.  Shoud be interesting to see what else could
go wrong for them, and how they manage to work through them.

We'll be back for chapter 10 real soon.


Dragonboy
Studies show that 10 out of 9 people have a problem with fractions.

Stiel
I'll think of some clever line eventually.

_________________________________________________________________
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