This will be my last dive into the Ranma world for a while.  If I get some 
positive feedback on it, I'll write more, and if not, then I'll move on.


Formula For Disaster
A Ranma 1/2 fic by Dragonboy

Disclaimer:  I don't own these characters, but I'm sure you already knew 
that.

Warning:  This fic contains lots of bad puns and strange, or at lease 
uncommon, match-ups (in my opinion, anyway)  Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1


At the Nekohanten, two Amazon women were scheming.

Shampoo warily eyed the small black satchel in her hands.

"What you want Shampoo to do with this, Great-grandmother?" she asked the 
old woman before her.

"It's simple, Shampoo." Cologne answered.  "That bag is filled with one of 
the villages strongest love-inducing powder.  If you use this on son-in-law, 
you two will be married by tomorrow without a doubt."

"But we try this before many times, Great-grandmother.  Something always go 
wrong."

"I'm aware of that, Shampoo.  But this time will be different.  In over two 
hundred years, that powder has never failed."

Shampoo's eyes lit up in excitement.  "Okay, so Shampoo just need to throw 
powder on airen?"

"No, nothing so obvious.  We don't want anyone else to try and stop you.  
All you need to do is mix it into his next meal, and then make sure you're 
the first person that he sees after eating it."

Shampoo nodded.  "Okay, Shampoo just mix into special delicious ramen for 
Ranma to eat."

Cologne shook her head.  "That won't work, Shampoo.  You've tried giving him 
spiced ramen before, I doubt he will fall for it this time.  But I have a 
better idea..."

As Cologne began running her plan by Shampoo, Mousse listened silently from 
the other side of the door.

"Curse you, old mummy!  Always trying to keep my darling Shampoo away from 
me!  Well not this time!  I'll put a stop to this little plan of yours, and 
by the end of the day, it will be ME and Shampoo who are getting married!  
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

"Hey man," a customer shouted. "Where's my ramen?  I ordered like ten 
minutes ago!"

"One moment, sir."  Mousse told him.  "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

The man shook his head.  "Knew I should'a had okonomiyaki."
**********

At Ucchan's, Ukyo Kuonji was pondering.

"My dearest Ranchan, my love for you is like...waking up to the smell of 
freshly made okonomiyaki......no, that's no good."

Ukyo looked down in frustration at the okonomiyaki that she had been writing 
on, then quickly flipped it into a nearby trashcan.  A man standing next to 
the counter stared after it crestfallenly.

"Look lady, I've been standing here for over ten minutes.  Aren't you ever 
gonna take my order?" he asked.

Ukyo poured out the dough for a new okonomiyaki, still in thought.  "What's 
another word for 'eternal'?" she asked the man.

The man blinked.  "Eh?"

"Eternal."  Ukyo prompted.  "I need a synonym for it."

The man scratched his head.  "Uh...everlasting?"

Ukyo frowned.  "No, that's to clich�d."

"Endless?"

Ukyo frowned deeper.  "Hey Konatsu?" she shouted.  "What's another word for 
'eternal'?"

The kunoichi stopped cleaning a table and thought for a second.  
"Perpetual?"

"Perfect!  Thanks Konatsu!"  Ukyo flipped the okonomiyaki and quickly began 
writing.  The man sighed and turned to walk out the door.

"I knew I should have had ramen." he muttered.

"My dearest Ranchan, my perpetual love for you burns- no, _radiates_ with 
the passion of a thousand...no, a million...no...Konatsu, what's the biggest 
number you can think of?"

Konatsu thought hard.  "A googol?"

Ukyo shook her head.  "That's an internet server, Konatsu.  I need a 
_number_."

Konatsu sweatdropped.  "Well uh...what about a zillion?"

"That'll work.  Radiates with the passion of a zillion...uh, a zillion..."  
Ukyo growled in aggravation.  "Why is it that Kuno can spout this stuff out 
all the time and I can't even write a stinking love letter to Ranchan?!"

"Might I ask, Ukyo-sama, why are you putting so much effort into this?  Why 
not just write a normal message like you usually do?"

"Duh Konatsu, because the normal messages that I usually write haven't 
worked. I have to pour my heart and soul into this okonomiyaki so that when 
Ranchan reads it, he'll know exactly how deeply my love for him really is.  
And he'll look at me and say-"

"UKYO-SAMA, I LOVE YOU!!"

"Yeah," Ukyo said dreamily.  "That's exactly what he'll-wait a minute..."

The trashcan suddenly jumped up and leapt toward Ukyo.

"CHAAARRR-"  CLANG!

"Perfect timing, Tsubasa."  Ukyo said while re-sheathing her spatula and 
going back to her letter.

A brown-haired head appeared out of the trashcan.  "You mean...you really 
wanted to see me, Ukyo-sama?" the cross-dresser asked tearfully.

"Yes, you're just in time to watch the restaurant while Konatsu and I go to 
visit Ranchan."  Ukyo informed him while putting the finishing touches on 
the okonomiyaki.  "And I expect this place to be clean and full of happy 
customers when I get back, understand?"

"But...I don't even work here."  Tsubasa whined.

Ukyo glared at him.  "Keep that attitude up and you're gonna find yourself 
fired."

"NO!  I'm sorry, I'll work harder!"  The cross-dresser began vigorously 
hopping around the restaurant, taking orders and dumping food trays and 
scraps into his trashcan disguise.

"What a weirdo."  Konatsu said, causing Ukyo to cough loudly.

"Yeah, well, let's get going.  We absolutely can't be late."

"Why Ukyo-sama?" Konatsu asked.  "What could possibly be so important about 
getting this okonomiyaki to Ranma-san?"

Ukyo told him.

"Oh my God."
**********

At the Tendo dojo, Akane Tendo was cooking.

Akane looked at the picture in the cookbook, then she looked into the large 
pan that contained the now semi-sentient creation that was her attempt at 
making sukiyaki.  Then she smiled.

Not too bad, she thought happily.  Sure, her noodles and vegetables were a 
little darker and not quite as soft-looking as the picture's, and maybe she 
did add a little too much soy sauce, but at least she had been smart enough 
to balance it out by adding a few pickles and jalapenos.  Just more flavor, 
right?

Right.

"Hey Kasumi, could you go tell everyone that dinner is almost ready?"  the 
youngest Tendo called.

"Certainly, Akane.  But I think Ranma is out in the training hall.  Why 
don't you go get him?"  Kasumi answered.

Kasumi headed up the stairs while Akane headed out toward the training hall, 
leaving the kitchen empty.

A few seconds later, a figure jumped through the open kitchen window.  
Shampoo looked around cautiously.  This definitely wasn't as fun or as easy 
as simply bursting through a wall, but stealth was what was needed on this 
occasion.  Seeing no one, she ran to the stove and pulled out the black 
satchel from her pocket.

"Is not good idea to dump love powder into all food."  She muttered softly.  
"Cause big problems for them.  But as long as Ranma eat and fall in love 
with Shampoo, is all that matter."

The Amazon girl opened the bag, peered into the pan, and grimaced.  "Either 
Violent Girl cooking or they make tar for to shingle roof."

Shrugging, she dumped the powder into the pan, then slowly snuck into the 
living room.  She had just about reached the door when she heard someone 
coming down the stairs.  In a panic, the purple-haired girl jumped behind 
the couch.

Kasumi came down the stairs and looked over at the couch.  "Hello Shampoo, 
what brings you here today?" she asked cheerfully.

Shampoo sweatdropped.  "How Nice Girl Kasumi know that Shampoo here?"

"Because I can see your legs sticking out from behind the couch."

Shampoo looked back and saw that indeed, her legs were clearly visible from 
where Kasumi was standing.  She quickly crawled forward a few feet.  "You 
still see Shampoo now?"

Kasumi shook her head.  "No, you're very well hidden now."

"Okay, is good then."

A long silence fell over the living room.

"Why exactly are you hiding back there, Shampoo?"  Kasumi asked.

"Um...Shampoo play hide-and-seek?"

"Oh, that sounds like fun!  Who are you hiding from?"

"Uh...Ranma?  Yes, that right, Shampoo hide from Ranma.  You no tell him 
Shampoo here, yes?"

Kasumi nodded.  "Okay, I promise not to tell."
**********

In the Tendo training hall, Ranma Saotome was meditating.

He had been deep in the act of centering himself when Akane walked in.

"Hey Ranma, dinner's...what are you doing?"

"Seeking salvation, Akane."  He whispered.

Akane stared in confusion.  "What are you talking about Ranma?  Are you in 
some kind of danger?"

Ranma gave a small nod.  "Yes, more danger than you can imagine."

"Is it Happosai?"  Akane asked.  "Did Ryoga or Mousse learn some strong new 
technique?"

Ranma shook his head.  "Right now, Akane, I'd give anything to fight all 
three of them at once if it meant not having to face the real danger."

Akane nervously knelt down in front of Ranma.  "But who could be that 
dangerous, Ranma?  Is it that Herb guy again?"

Ranma shook his head again.  "You don't understand, Akane.  This isn't 
someone that I'll be able to fight.  This attack...will be coming...from 
within."

"Oh, you mean it's like a mental or an emotional kind of thing, right?"

"...I guess you could say that.  I know I'm feeling pretty emotional about 
it."

Akane smiled and patted Ranma softly on the shoulder.  "Well, don't worry, 
Ranma.  Everyone has these kind of problems at some point in their lives.  
And trust me, it's never as bad as you think it will be."

"...I guess.  I mean, usually I think it's gonna kill me, but it never has.  
But then there are the side-effects."

"Side-effects?"

"Yeah, you know...when it happens ya always get that bad taste in your 
mouth, and then after it's all over ya end up with a horrible pain in the 
pit of your stomach.  Sometimes it's so bad that ya spend the rest of the 
night throwing up because of it..."

Wow, Akane thought, this really has Ranma worked up, I've never seen him 
like this.

She stood up.  "Well Ranma, maybe a little food will calm you down.  
And...if there's anything I can do to help you with this problem, just let 
me know."

"You could throw it out so I don't have to eat it."  Ranma muttered.

"What?"

"N-nothing, nothing!  Uh, l-let's go eat, huh?"

Akane smiled warmly and turned to leave.  Ranma took the moment to say a 
short prayer, then followed her.
**********

At the Kuno Mansion, Tatewaki Kuno was dreary.

"Sasuke!  Come to me!"  He bellowed.

The little ninja-butler appeared before him a moment later.  "Yes, Master 
Kuno?"

"Loyal Sasuke, the Blue Thunder has grown listless.  For many months I have 
pursued my two one true loves, Akane Tendo and the Pig-tailed Girl, while at 
the same time have strived to destroy the vile sorcerer Ranma Saotome."

There was a long pause before he went on.  "But...for all of my efforts, the 
trickery of the foul sorcerer has defeated me again and again."

"Oh, but Master Kuno, you cannot let that burden you!"  Sasuke told him.  
"The fiendish magic of Saotome is unearthly.  Surely if he were to fight you 
fairly you would be triumphant!"

Kuno sighed.  "Yes, I am already aware of that, Sasuke.  What truly bothers 
me is that..."

"Is what, Master Kuno?"  Sasuke prodded.

"Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Girl have been very reluctant to show their 
affection for me, Sasuke.  For a while, I believed that they just intended 
to play hard-to-get, or possibly that they were too shy to express 
themselves openly to me.  But now I have to wonder...perhaps their 
repetitive physical abuse on my person is a sign that...that they truly do 
not wish to be with the Blue Thunder."

"Nonsense, Master Kuno!" the ninja-butler said.  "You are the great Blue 
Thunder, Tatewaki Kuno, the dream of every woman and the envy of every man, 
correct?"

Kuno's spirits lifted slightly at that.  "I suppose I am.  But how can I 
know for sure what the true feelings of my darlings are?"

Sasuke thought for a few moments, then snapped his fingers.  "Why not 
propose marriage to one of them, Master Kuno?"

Kuno's eyes widened.  "But of course!  Marriage, the binding of a man to the 
one that he loves, so powerful...so final!  And if their feelings for me 
truly match mine for them, they shall accept graciously!  Yes, Sasuke, I 
shall go to the Tendo dojo tonight and ask for my darling's hands in 
marriage!"

"But Master Kuno, I believe bigamy is illegal in this country."

"Bah!  Curse these infantile governmental restrictions!  Sasuke, go and 
write them a very nasty letter whilst I figure out this little dilemma!"

"At once, Master Kuno!"  Sasuke bowed and ran quickly out of the room.

Kuno closed his eyes and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  "Quite a quandary 
this is.  Both women are more than deserving of my devoted affection, yet I 
can only choose one.  Hmm, perhaps I should sit down and meditate on this 
matter for a while."

"Oh brother dear," Kodachi called from a nearby room.  "Father called, he 
says he'll be stopping by for dinner tonight."

"Or perhaps I shall decide on the way to the dojo." he mumbled.

The Blue Thunder picked up his bokken and dashed out of the house.
**********

Somewhere on the streets of Nerima, Ryoga Hibiki was happy.

In fact, he might even go so far as to say that he was jubilant.  He was 
skipping down the streets, grabbing random people and spinning them around 
before either setting them back down or accidentally flinging them into the 
horizon, and oddly enough:  he was headed in the exact direction that he 
wanted to go.

The lost boy looked at his hand, which tightly clutched the reason for all 
this unfamiliar happiness.  It was a bright red teardrop-shaped jewel, tied 
to a chain of pure silver.

The Ardor Fire Droplet, the man who had sold it to him had called it.  
According to him, if a man gave it to the woman that he was in love with, 
then she would love him forever.

Ryoga had been reluctant at first.  After all, he hadn't had the best of 
luck with magical items in the past.  He grew nauseous every time he thought 
about the Magical Fishing Rod mishap.

But this time would be different.  Because with the Ardor Fire Droplet, even 
if he accidentally handed it to someone else, it wouldn't have any effect 
because Akane was the only one that he was in love with.  So all he had to 
do was find the Tendo dojo and give it to her and they could be married by 
the end of the week.

So for Ryoga Hibiki, today was a wonderful day, and there was absolutely 
nothing that could spoil it for him.

"RANMA!  STAY AWAY FROM MY SHAMPOO!!"

Nope, not even that.

"Mousse, old buddy!"  Ryoga said while grabbing Mousse out of the air and 
trapping him in a good-natured, yet still crushing, headlock.  "How's it 
going, pal?"

"Eh-ow, Ryoga, is that you?"

"See for yourself."  Ryoga told him as he pushed the Amazon boy's glasses 
down over his eyes.  "Don't you ever get tired of attacking the wrong people 
all the time?"

Mousse chuckled nervously.  "Yeah uh, could I please have my head back, 
Ryoga?  I'm kind of in a hurry here."

"Are you going to the Tendo's?"  Mousse nodded the best he could.  "Mind if 
I tag along then?  I'm in a bit of a hurry myself."

"Fine, whatever you want.  Just stop squeezing my head!"

Ryoga released him and the two boys made their way to the dojo, Mousse 
leading the way, and Ryoga following closely behind gazing intently at his 
treasure.  About a block away from the dojo, Mousse looked back to make sure 
that Ryoga was still there and happened to notice the necklace.

"What's that?" he asked curiously.

Ryoga told him.

Ryoga couldn't see it, but by the time he had finished his explanation, 
Mousse had a strange glint in his eyes behind his glasses.

"I...see." he said in a slightly strangled voice.  "So Ryoga, just 
hypothetically speaking, say someone wanted to...buy that from-"

"You don't have a fraction of the amount, Mousse."  Ryoga said with a smirk.

Mousse darkened.  "In that case, why don't I just take it from you?"

Ryoga laughed.  "Mousse, you and I both know that you're no match for- OW!"

Mousse spun the metal hammer that he had just hit Ryoga over the head with.  
"Care to put that theory to the test?"

Ryoga rubbed his head as Mousse swung the hammer again.  Ryoga pulled out 
his umbrella and parried, then swung with his fist and connected with 
Mousse's jaw, sending him rolling down the street.

"No one is going to stand between me and Akane, least of all, you!"  Ryoga 
shouted.

Mousse threw a volley of chains at the lost boy, wrapping up both legs and 
the hand that held the Fire Droplet. Ryoga stumbled and fell to the ground 
as Mousse pulled out a giant battle-axe.

"Mark my words, Hibiki:  Shampoo will be the one wearing the Ardor Fire 
Droplet by the end of the day!"

"In your dreams, Mousse!  BAKUSAI TENKETSU!"

The fight continued to rage right outside of the Tendo dojo.
**********

At the Tendo dojo, everyone sat down to what was apparently supposed to be 
dinner.  Almost everyone looked at the meal in disdain, except for Akane, 
who just looked slightly confused, and Kasumi, who stared at Ranma with a 
strange I-Know-Something-You-Don't-Know grin on her face.

"Hey, Akane?"  Ranma asked.

"What?"

"When you were making this, were you planning on having it turn out 
neon-green?"

Akane looked in slight disappointment at the pan of food that she had just 
brought out.  Indeed, instead of being the dark brownish-black that it had 
been a few minutes ago, it could now be easily mistaken for radioactive 
waste.

"I don't understand." she said.  "It wasn't like this before I came to get 
you.  Maybe I left it on the burner too long?"

She brightened.  "But I'm sure it will still taste fine.  Try some, Ranma!"

Ranma looked at his plate and gulped.  "Uh...ladies first?"

"If you say so." Genma said as he poured a glass of water on Ranma's head.  
"Eat up, daughter."

Ranma-chan kicked him in the head, then looked back down at her plate.  How 
was she supposed to get out of this?  She couldn't run away; Akane would 
just mallet her and then make her eat it anyway.  Everyone was staring at 
her.  Akane was starting to look annoyed.

She needed a distraction.  Something.  Anything!

"Oh my," Kasumi said.  "There certainly is an awful lot of noise outside."

"You don't say?!" Ranma practically screamed.  "I should go check that-"

A large hammer suddenly appeared an inch away from Ranma's face.

"SIT!"  Akane commanded.

Ranma sat down very fast.

"NOW QUIT STALLING AND TRY IT!!"

Ranma sweatdropped.  "Uh, ya know, Akane...it's kind of an unwritten rule 
that the person who cooks a meal should taste it before she serves it to 
everyone else."

Akane's look of anger wavered.  "W-what do you mean?"

Sensing a possible way out, Ranma nodded vigorously and went on.  "Well 
yeah, you know, that way if it's not right, you can fix it.  Kasumi always 
does it, right?"

Akane's hammer vanished and she scratched her head.  "I...I guess you're 
right.  Okay then, I'll try it."

Ranma jumped up from the table and began dancing and turning cartwheels.

"But you still have to try it, too, Ranma."

Ranma froze in mid-cartwheel, meaning she was now doing a handstand.  
"What!?  Why?"

"I might need a second opinion."

Ranma fell on her head.
*********

Soun, Genma, Kasumi, and Nabiki watched nervously as both Akane and Ranma 
began to tremble.  Tears appeared in their eyes as they slowly chewed and 
swallowed.  They both stared down at their plates in silence.

"I-it's...it's..." Ranma said.

"It's...it's really..." Akane added.

The others leaned forward anxiously.

"It's...GOOD!" they shouted together.

Before the initial shock could even set in, Shampoo jumped out from behind 
the couch and quickly glomped onto Ranma.

"Aiya!  Airen, you in love with Shampoo now, yes?"

Ranma stared at her in confusion.  "What are you talking about, Shampoo?"

Shampoo blinked, then took a better look at the person she was glomping.  
"Aiya, airen is girl!  Shampoo be right back!"  The Amazon girl disappeared 
into the kitchen.  Ranma quickly went back to eating.

Nabiki stared at him.  "You're not the least bit worried about what Shampoo 
might be planning?"

"Eh." he said with a small shrug.

"Ranma, save some for the rest of us, will you?" Genma said.

Ranma barely stopped eating to answer.  "No way, pop!  Akane actually made 
something good, and on her first try, too!  I'm gonna enjoy this while it 
lasts!"

Akane didn't know whether to be happy with Ranma or hit him.  But figuring 
that a compliment from Ranma in itself was a rarity, she decided to be happy 
now and just hit him extra hard the next time he did something stupid.

Just as Shampoo ran back in with a kettle of hot water, there was a loud 
crash and something flew through the front door.
*********

"GIVE ME THE NECKLACE, HIBIKI!"

"GO TO HELL, MOUSSE!"

Mousse lunged at Ryoga like a man possessed.  Ryoga, only slightly calmer 
than his opponent, measured Mousse's approach, and with one solid punch, 
sent the Amazon boy crashing through the wall of the dojo.
**********

Ukyo and Konatsu landed on the roof of the dojo.  Ukyo quickly ran toward 
the front.  Just as she was about to leap down, a violent rumble shook the 
house, causing her to lose her balance.  Konatsu, who was further back and 
just as unexpected as Ukyo, wasn't able to catch her in time.
**********

Kuno stood at of the dojo front door.

"So it has come to this.  Here I stand, at the gate that separates me from 
my one true love...and yet, I still do not know _which_ of my loves is my 
one true love!  Oh why must the gods tempt me so by delivering to me two 
such perfect women?!  How is any man to choose between-"

Something crashed through the wall a mere foot away from Kuno, barely 
missing him and snapping him out of his rant.  A second later, a box fell on 
his head.  He looked up in time to see a girl falling toward him and 
casually caught her in his arms.

Ukyo and Kuno stared at each other for a moment.

"Uh, thanks Kuno."  Ukyo said as Kuno set her down.

Kuno smiled.  "Think nothing of it, fair maiden.  For it is the duty of a 
noble warrior such as I, the Blue Thunder Tatewaki Kuno, to aid anyone in 
their time of plight.  I only thank the gods that I was here to save you 
from what could have been certain death."

Ukyo frowned.  "Oh come on, the roof isn't that high."

"Ukyo-sama!" Konatsu shouted as he landed next to them.  "Are you all right? 
  I'm sorry, I should have moved faster!  Please forgive me!"

"Don't worry, Konatsu, I'm fine." Ukyo told him.  "Let's just get Ranchan's 
okonomiyaki to...where is Ranchan's okonomiyaki?"

The two turned to see that the okonomiyaki in question was in Kuno's hands.  
Ukyo was about to grab it back when tears appeared in Kuno's eyes.

"S...s-so...beautiful." he whispered.

"Huh?" was the best Ukyo could say.

"Such a beautiful message!" Kuno shouted.  "The eloquent wordplay!  The 
bold, unrestrained passion!  Truly, the Blue Thunder has never received such 
a loving letter!"

Ryoga ran by and into the hole that Mousse had made about that time.  He 
stopped and stared at Kuno for a moment, then shrugged and went inside.

"What are you talking about?" Ukyo said as she grabbed the okonomiyaki from 
him.  "This is a letter for-oh crap!"

The 'oh crap' part was because Ukyo had just noticed that a part of her 
message had been smeared off.  Ironically enough, it was the part that said 
'To my darling Ranchan'.

Ukyo sweatdropped.  "Uh, listen Kuno, this letter isn't really-"

"Ah, but to be loved so deeply is a most wonderful feeling, indeed!" Kuno 
interrupted.  "Knowing that there is one out there with so much passion for 
Tatewaki Kuno, I would be content to end my fruitless pursuit of Akane Tendo 
and the Pigtailed Girl and live my life in happiness with you!"

That got Ukyo thinking.  She could definitely earn major brownie points with 
Ranma if she could get Kuno to stop chasing him, but considering the 
alternative...

"Well uh, Kuno...the uh, the thing is...that message was, um...it was from 
Konatsu!"

"UKYO-SAMA!?!?" Konatsu cried.

Kuno quickly appraised the kunoichi.  "Ah, but how appropriate that such a 
beautiful letter would be given by an equally beautiful woman!  For truly 
there is no other-"

"Ukyo-sama, what are you doing?" Konatsu whispered as Kuno went into another 
rant.

"Listen Konatsu," she whispered back. "I'm just trying to get him away from 
me and Ranchan.  It's not like I expect you to do anything with him, you 
know?  I just need you to keep him busy for a while and we'll straighten it 
all out later, okay?"

Konatsu looked ready to object, but then hung his head.  "If that is what 
you wish, Ukyo-sama."

"-would be a more perfect match than the beautiful ninja girl Konatsu and 
the Blue Thunder Tatewaki Kuno!  Beauteous Konatsu, I shall date with you!"

Konatsu turned back to Kuno.  "Very well, Tatewaki-san, but I have to warn 
you that I will only date men that are faster than me.  So before we go on a 
date, you have to catch me first."

Without waiting for an answer, Konatsu leapt back onto the roof and took off 
at a mad dash.

Kuno laughed.  "Truly she is a spirited one!  But fear not, my divine ninja 
angel, Tatewaki Kuno shall find you wherever you may go!"

Ukyo sighed as Kuno took off after Konatsu, then she turned to walk into the 
dojo.  Just as she was opening the door, a laughing boy carrying a laughing 
girl ran past her.  Ukyo turned to look at them, but they were already out 
of sight.

"Was that...no, it couldn't have been, that's just stupid."

Shaking her head, Ukyo turned and walked inside, then froze at the sight 
before her.

Then she screamed.
*********

Everyone turned as Mousse crashed through the wall and barreled past them.  
Shampoo, who had just come back from the kitchen with a kettle of hot water, 
didn't move in time and was bowled over by him.

"Oh my." Kasumi said.

"I guess that would explain part of the noise outside." Nabiki said between 
bites.

Genma kept eating without missing a beat.

Soun lowered his still unused chopsticks as he stared at the newest hole in 
his house.  "Is it so difficult for people to just use a door these days?" 
he moaned.

Ranma looked at Akane.  "Mousse just knocked out Shampoo, huh?"

Akane nodded.  "He sure did."

"And you know what that means, right?" Ranma said with a grin.

"I sure do."

Mousse shook his head and looked down at Shampoo.

"SHAMPOO!  Oh no, what have I done!?"

Ranma walked over and slapped Mousse on the back. "It looks to me like 
you've just won yourself a new wife, Mousse.  Congrats!"

Mousse didn't move an inch for a good ten seconds.  Then he pointed to 
himself.  "You mean...me?"

Everyone nodded.

He pointed to Shampoo.  "And her?"

Everyone nodded again.

"And now we're..."

"By George, I think he's got it." Ranma said in his best British accent.

Mousse burst into a fit of loud maniacal laughter.  "At last!  Fate finally 
smiles on me!  HAHAHA, TAKE THAT, YOU OLD GHOUL!  And to think, I've finally 
won my darling Shampoo, and I didn't even need any help from this!" he said 
the last part as he kicked Soun's still untouched plate across the room.

Soun began bawling.  "It's not fair!  My daughter finally makes a good meal 
and I'm the only one who isn't able to taste it!  WAAAAHHHH!!"

Ryoga then ran into the room and spotted Mousse still laughing his head off.

"So, thought you could run from m-MUMPH!"

Ryoga was silenced by the plate of food that Mousse had just kicked, which 
landed right in the lost boy's face, sending a good portion of it down his 
throat.

Ryoga ripped the plate off angrily.  "Okay, who threw -?"  Then he paused.  
"Hey, this is pretty good!"  He began greedily shoveling the remains of it 
into his mouth as Akane beamed brighter than a lighthouse.

"Hey, that's mine!" Soun whimpered.

Shampoo began to stir and sat up.  "Aiya.  You get license plate of car that 
hit Shampoo?"

Mousse turned to her.  "Shampoo, my love!  Finally, you and I can be 
together, and there's no one that can come between us!"

Ryoga finished licking his plate and turned back to confront Mousse.

Then his eyes traveled past him to the purple-haired girl behind him.

In less than an instant, Ryoga had thrown Mousse into the wall and knelt 
down next to Shampoo.

"Shampoo, my darling, are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Huh?" Shampoo, along with almost everyone else in the room, asked.

"You're not hurt anywhere, are you Shampoo?" he asked.

"...N-no, why Directionless Boy care?" she asked nervously.

"Why would I not care?" Ryoga asked.  "I'd feel terrible if anything 
happened to you, my love!"

Everyone stared at Ryoga in wonder.

Nabiki turned to Ranma.  "I thought he loved Akane."

"Why would you think that?" Akane asked.

Shampoo was getting slightly flustered.  "Listen Directionless Boy, you not 
really love Shampoo, it just because you ea-"

A necklace was suddenly thrust in front of Shampoo's face.

"Please," Ryoga said.  "accept this as a token of my love for you."

"Aiyaaaa." Shampoo said as she stared at the necklace.  Slowly she took it 
and began fastening it around her neck.  "Shampoo accept present, but still 
not mean that Shampoo-"

The Ardor Fire Droplet flickered.

"-LOVE YOU!!" She shouted as she flung herself at Ryoga and trapped him in a 
powerful lip lock, which he quickly returned.

Everyone watched on in stunned silence as Ryoga and Shampoo continued to 
kiss...and kiss...and kiss some more.

"Isn't that romantic?" Kasumi said to no one in particular.

The make-out session finally ended as the two broke apart and began staring 
at each other with starry eyes.

Ranma slowly moved over toward them.  "Uh, Ryoga?"

"Wanna get married?" Ryoga asked Shampoo.

"Okie-dokie!" Shampoo replied.

Ryoga quickly scooped up Shampoo and dashed out of the house without another 
word, save for their laughter.

Another silence past.

"...Sooooo, what just happened?" Akane asked.

Ranma grinned widely and retook his seat.  "I just got rid of two huge 
pains, that's what happened!  Man, this is turning into the greatest day of 
my life!  Hey, could someone hand me that hot water that Shampoo brought 
out?"

"Here you are, Ranma." Kasumi said as she handed to kettle to him.

Ranma took it and poured it over his head.  "Thanks, Kasumi."  Then he 
reached over and wrapped his arms around her.  "Allow me to repay you for 
all the things you've done for me."

And before anyone could even say anything, Ranma dipped Kasumi backward and 
pressed his lips tightly against hers.

"MMPH!" was the only objection Kasumi could give.

Everyone else had a little more to say, however.

"RANMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" Akane shouted.

"How long has this been going on that I haven't known about?" Nabiki asked.

"Boy, if you're going to kiss anyone, you'd better be kissing Akane!" Genma 
yelled.

"WAAAHHH!  My daughter's fianc� is cheating on her with her own sister!" 
Soun sobbed.

"AAAUUUGGGHHHH!" Ukyo shrieked from the doorway.

"Oh shit." Cologne said from right behind her.

"Oow, what hit me?" Mousse wondered as he pulled his head from out of the 
wall.
**********

At Tokyo Harbor, one boy clad in blue and covered in bandages was quickly 
losing his patience with another boy clad in blue and covered in bandages.

"What did you say your name was again?" one of them asked.

"I didn't." the other answered.  "And if you know what's good for you, 
you'll quit asking."

There was a long moment of silence as the two made their way through the 
city.

"Why are you following me?" Boy One asked.

Boy Two's eye twitched slightly.  "Because we're going to the same place, 
funnel-brain."

"Oh...where are we going?"

"Check.  Your.  Hand." he answered through gritted teeth.

Boy One looked down at his hand which held a small slip of paper.  "Go to 
Tendo dojo and seek help for...where did this come from?"

Boy Two turned and grabbed his companion by the collar, then reached down 
and pulled out a small flask from his belt.

"What are you doing?" Boy One asked.

"Getting us there as fast as possible before I do something that I may or 
may not regret later."


End of chapter

And there you have it.  Part two will be coming if anyone wants it to.

Dragonboy


Studies show that 9 out of 10 people believe the tenth person can be a real 
ass.

_________________________________________________________________
Don�t just search. Find. Check out the new MSN Search! 
http://search.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200636ave/direct/01/


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'