EPILOGUE TWO:
                 Kimagure Orange Ryouga

Once again, and for the final time, I'm commenting on the chapter as it appears
on the web site.

Since this is the last installment, I'll plug Grayson's current work. You all
knew there had to be a reason why he's been posting as thunderstruck_comic,
right? Well, here it is:

http://www.onlinecomics.net/pages/incl/go.php?comicID=4165

For those who've enjoyed Relentless, go read.

Ukyou could hear Ryouga's breath quicken. She touched him
gently. "Just calm down, sweetheart. Take it easy."

"Take it easy," he repeated, swallowing hard. "Right."

He moved forward, but she held him back with a hand to his
chest. "Not so fast, not so fast. Don't rush things."

"Right... don't rush," he agreed. "Sorry... just got a little
excited..."

"I know." She smiled and stroked his hair. "Give it a few
seconds more."

"It should... slide right in, right?"

She did a quick check. "Should be fine. Are you ready?"

RYOGA: AAAARGH! I'll never figure out how to tie these things! Do I really have
to wear one for our wedding? Couldn't I at least just get a clip-on?

UKYO: Let me put it this way, sugar. Either you wear a tie at our wedding, or
*I* do and *you* wear the bridal dress.

RYOGA: Um... right. Slide it in. Yeah.

"FLIP!" he shouted. His arm jerked up like a catapult, spatula
held tight in his powerful grasp. The okonomiyaki took off like
a rocket, launching from the portable grill into the clear blue
expanse of the Tokyo summer sky.

Well, I was close. :/

"Don't worry, sugar," she told him. "We'll get those hair-
trigger reflexes under control. After all, you don't want to
accidentally break Akari in half on your honeymoon."

She felt him tense up, and immediately regretted what she'd
said. He turned away from her, his head down.

Not clear... is he upset because he might end up marrying Akari, or because he
might kill her if he does, or both?

It had been one of those scenes that looked to get ugly - three
bullies with time to kill, picking on some poor pasty-faced geek
wearing some weird candle-holder headband.

Uk is Gos' schoolmate, so it's possible that they'd know each other, but then
again Gos isn't the type who people remember anyway.

Later, Ukyou would come to understand that Akari had developed
this fearless attitude while training half-ton sumo pigs.
Compared to the animals she dealt with on a routine basis, these
punks were downright puny. And while any of them could've
flattened her in one hit, the righteous confidence of her
presence had been enough to back them down.

AKARI: And Katsunishiki standing right behind me didn't hurt either.

UKYO: I was trying to make you look good by not mentioning that, hon.

"Better than a son and a pig," Ryouga muttered.

"Hey!" Akari yelped. "Don't pick on pigs, Ryouga!"

Maybe a simple non-confrontational "What's wrong with pigs?" would work here.
Akari may be crazy about pigs, but she's co-dependent enough that she'd gladly
let Ryoga pick on them if she thought he really wanted to.

"I want to go back!" Akari wailed, throwing herself into Ukyou's
arms. "I want to go back to that day! Why can't it stay that
way? Why can't we... can't we just stay like that?"

Akari's reaction here was a bit forced, but the in-joke makes it all worthwhile.
:)


Ryoga and Akari make a good Kyosuke and Hikaru. The one who really doesn't fit
the pattern is Ukyo, at least not as she's developed in this story as being
openly affectionate towards Ryoga. Not that this is a problem for your story,
it just keeps it from being a full KOR fusion.

It would've been nice to throw in some classic KOR bits before the happy ending.
Like Ryoga accidentally getting caught in a compromising position with Akari and
one or both women misinterpreting it.

I really liked the explanation of Ryoga's directional problems. It makes sense
from what we already know, while elevating his problem from a comedy device to
more of a classical tragic flaw, something that's based more on a strength than
a weakness.

Not much left to say but congratulations on finishing this masterwork, and I
look forward to keeping up with Thunderstruck and whatever else you end up
writing in the future.



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