Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfic][Ranma] Relentless - Epilogue Two
From: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <lurkerdrome@sbcglobal.net>
Date: 5/22/2005, 12:38 PM
To: <thunderstruck_comic@comcast.net>, "FFML" <ffml@anifics.com>


-----------------------------------------------------------
                       EPILOGUE TWO:
                  Kimagure Orange Ryouga

*wince* That title hurts.

"Right... don't rush," he agreed. "Sorry... just got a little
excited..."

"I know." She smiled and stroked his hair. "Give it a few
seconds more."

"It should... slide right in, right?"

This is the point at which I knew exactly what they were doing. :P

"Nice... and easy..."

"And... flip it."

"FLIP!" he shouted. His arm jerked up like a catapult, spatula
held tight in his powerful grasp. The okonomiyaki took off like
a rocket, launching from the portable grill into the clear blue
expanse of the Tokyo summer sky.

Yeah, that's about right. XD


She squeezed his arm affectionately. The point of the exercise
wasn't really to teach him to cook, although that would be a
nice side benefit. Ryouga went through life kind of like a human

"kind of like" is not a good phrase to use in narrative. Dialogue, yes, but
not narrative.

"Don't worry, sugar," she told him. "We'll get those hair-
trigger reflexes under control. After all, you don't want to
accidentally break Akari in half on your honeymoon."

Nah, she's used to the sumo pigs. :P

She wasn't a fighter. A seasoned veteran like Ukyou could tell
that just by the way she moved. She was young and still pretty
small - she was probably only half of what the biggest guy in
the bully pack weighed. But she'd marched right up to the
ringleader, put herself squarely between him and the little
geek, and laid a first-class smack across his cheek.

"You just stop that right now!" she'd commanded in a clear,
ringing voice. She'd planted one hand on her hip and jabbed her
finger at the ruffians. "Picking on a helpless guy like that...
you should be ashamed of yourselves!"

This is probably how she trains the pigs. XD

fountain out on the edge of town. It had been one of those
charmed summer days, with bright sun and just enough wind so
that even the air in the city smelled clean when you breathed it
in.

In Tokyo, that usually means a class 3 typhoon. :P

*snip explanation of Hibiki family curse*

I like it. A little cliche in some regards, but nicely packaged.

Ukyou gripped Akari's hands tight in hers. "I will NEVER forget
about you. You are too important to me, Akari. You're my little
sister. I won't leave you behind."

Fresh tears rolled down Akari's cheeks, and her voice was still
filled with pain, but she smiled all the same. "Better not. I'll
sic my pigs on you if you do."

Awwww.

Ukyou and Ryouga lay together in the darkness, each lost in the
other's eyes, each found in each other's heart, bathed as one in
the silver light of the moon and stars.

*applauds*

Well done and bravo!

It has truly been a satisfying journey throughout this story. Many kudos
(and maybe an edogawa) to you, Towler-san, on this marvelously crafted epic.
^_^

==============================
Samurai Shampoo: Because when your
guts are spilling out of the sword wound
in your belly onto the ground, you want
your hair to look extra shiny and full of life.
==============================
The Eternal Lost Lurker
(Shodaime Shirikage)
www.lurkerdrome.com



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