Ryouga grabbed Ranma by the shirt and pointed angrily at the
McDonald's.  "I'm telling you, we're in Okinawa!  I ate at this
place last time I was here!  We're completely out of our way!"
   

Good joke, but the delivery seems a bit off. Having Ryoga catch on only belabors
it, explaining something that the reader already understands. It might be
funnier to leave him the dark.

CASHIER: May I help you, sir?

RYOGA: When did you move here from Okinawa?!

CASHIER: Pardon? I'm from Osaka.

RYOGA: Don't change the subject!

 

sigh<  You're right. That would be funnier, and also more 

consistent with the overall theme of miscommunication that 
prevails in Ranma 1/2. It would also take a bit of rewriting,
so I'll have to think about it.

It was Ukyou's turn to be furious.  Shampoo always brought out
the worst in her, one way or another.  When they were at each
other's throats, the okonomiyaki chef found that she lost all her
composure and became hot-tempered, irritable, and violent.  Perhaps
even worse, though, were the times that she'd actually ended up
working alongside the purple-haired girl.  On those occasions,
Shampoo had managed to drag Ukyou down to her own manipulative,
scheming level.  Ukyou always looked back on those ignoble times
with shame and self-contempt.
   

Okay, I know this is Uk's biased point of view, but even so I'm having trouble
believing that even she could see it this way. The times when Ukyo's been at
her most scheming and manipulative -- her intro story and subsequent arranged
Ryoga/Akane date, Secret Sauce, the Cave of Lost Love -- were all incidents
that Shamps had nothing to do with and in fact wasn't even present for. When she
and Shamps did get together (e.g. trying to steal what they thought was Ranma's
engagement ring) they had usually pretty much dispensed with subtlety.

 

Good catch. I'll tell you where that comes from. At the time I
wrote this, I'd seen a good deal more of the anime than I'd read
of the manga, so I tended to think of it as the definitive 
source. So for instance, the Cave of Lost Love story is a
collaborative scheme between Shamps and Ukyou in the anime.
I seem to recall several others.

Anyway, now I know better. That paragraph is pretty much useless,
given that I am more familiar with the source. I'll take it out.

(In fact, in "Relentless" continuity, I think Shampoo and Ukyou
have never properly schemed together. I don't think I ever say
it explicitly, but "Relentless" deviates from mainline 
continuity just before the Phoenix Mountain story arc, so the
wedding debacle never actually happened.)

So Ranma had hit upon a brilliant plan.  The early-morning flight
was not going to be full - there would be extra seats to spare.
They'd sneak Ryouga in as a pig while everybody was boarding, then
Ranma-chan would get him into the bathroom and leave the hot water
running so he could change back into a human.  Once they'd gotten
past the ticketing attendant in the general chaos of boarding,
nobody would notice the extra person - they'd assume he had a
ticket, just like everyone else.
   

Lordy, and it actually worked. I guess Japanese air security (at least in the
Ranmaverse) is really lax. o.O

STEWARDESS: Actually, we'd figured out that he was a stowaway. But making
accusations is so impolite. It's less embarrassing to just let him ride and
hope he's not carrying any bombs or anything.

 

It's all pre 9/11. Best not to examine these things too
closely in the Ranmaverse anyway.

Thanks for the edit-work, Gary.

Grayson Towler
http://www.talesfromthevault.com/relentless



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