Should have just enough time left to tackle this:

"No . . ." Usagi backed away. "No."

"Oh yes, Usagi. It's me. Your dear cousin, Naru, come to say hello."

"No . . ." Usagi shook her head vehemently. "This isn't real. You're
some kind of fake."

Naru walked towards them, matching Usagi for each step that the blonde
took backwards. "A fake? That's it? Where's the Tsukino wit we all know
and love? Where's the insults and that tireless self-confidence?" The
brown-haired girl's smile was sadistic.

'Naru's smile' would be fine to use here. Try to avoid hair identifiers when 
possible, at least after the first time a character is introduced.

"Recognition," Naru said, spreading her hands. "Recognition for my
brains and my skills instead of being Usagi's second pair of hands. It
should have been me! Me! For the past three years, Ami, its all Usagi.
All these obscure references, intricate pranks, everything has to have
a message. God, its

it's

They felt themselves spinning until they were looking at Naru upside
down. "Ah," Naru gloated, "The joys of being a B cup."

Heh

Jupiter scowled. "Look, I ain't no damn conversationalist. You gonna
finish us off, get on with it."

"Oh, I suppose. Its

It's

The room was some kind of office. Banterman sat behind a massive desk
while Veronica was perched at the desk's edge. On a small sofa, two men
sat side by side

side-by-side

"What did you forsee?" Banterman snapped, resting both elbows on the
desk.

"Yeah, Strange," Fury said. "Why don't you drop the mystic crap and
play it straight.

straight?

"Close enough. Persia, Lemuria, Atlantis, what we know today as China
and Egypt, all came from the Kingdom of Usaga, which built it's

its

"She's called Metallia. Supposedly she had another name before her
exile, but I  don't know what it was. What I do know is that she craved
Usaga's power and seduced one of it's

its

"The portents and signs are unmistakable. En Sabah Nur is stirring,
Sailor Moon has appeared, and more and more Mutants appear daily. He
can read the same signs I have and the Moon Princess will be far too
tempting for Nur to resist. If we're lucky, he'll simply try to kill
her. One High Evolutionary against another. If she wins, we'd be well
rid of Nur. If he wins, he'll return to his lair to recover and we can
deal with him while he's helpless."

sounds like a plan

Nice background to this, albiet, a short chapter. Nice build up, though, and 
good information that was needed. A good read

DB Sommer 



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