DB Sommer wrote:

Prologue

It was a dark and stormy night.

Well, that wasn�t exactly true. It was an overcast and drizzly 
afternoon, but that seemed too mundane for the seriousness of the 
mission, Pink noted to herself.

$Oh, god.  You and Pink and Link.  You have entirely too much fun with them.

So she mentally took literary license to 
make the situation more dark and foreboding, setting the proper mood. 
 

$Memory... EDIT!

After all, she wanted people to read her memoirs, and at least one 
chapter was going to be devoted to her and Link�s journey of revenge 
against that awful Joketzusoku who had dared to ambush Link and disgrace 
her in front of the whole village. The cowardly bitch had the audacity 
to attack Link for no reason, strip her naked, tie her up, leave her in 
the middle of the village, and write on her backside �Professional slut 
taking on all comers. Enter here,� with arrows pointing to her pussy. 
While everyone had better sense than to take advantage of the situation, 
someone had taken pictures of her predicament.

$Those damned cellphone cameras.  They're everywhere these days.

Despite the twin�s 
efforts, the photos were widely circulating around. Everyone whispered 
behind Link�s back, and would shut up whenever she came around. Already 
she was talking about moving to another village once their mission of 
righteous vengeance was complete.

 

$Poor Link.  Filial responsibility versus removing the greatest 
impediment to life and happiness in her life.  Damned if you do, tied up 
and magic markered if you don't.

Pink still had no idea why that bitch Joketsuzoku had done such a thing 
to Link. Okay, maybe it had something to do with Pink ambushing Shampoo 
first, knocking her out, then dumping her unconscious body over a nearby 
waterfall, leaving her for dead. But she had it coming. When Pink had 
found her boyfriend, Li sporting two black eyes and sore ribs, she 
demanded to know what happened. He informed Pink that the Amazon had 
come onto him, and when he politely explained that he already had a 
girlfriend, she beat him up for resisting her advances. Such an action 
could never be forgiven. Pink was perfectly justified in her actions.

 

$Like I said, you write Pink's bizarre POV entirely too well.

Although for some bizarre reason, Link insisted that it was Li who had 
come on to Shampoo (inconceivable, since Li was so in love with Pink), 
and that when the Joketsuzoku had refused his advances (inconceivable, 
since Li was the most handsome man on the face of the planet) he had 
tried harder to win her over. It was only when he felt her up 
(inconceivable, since Pink was giving him the best sex of his life) that 
she beat the crap out of him. Obviously Link had taken a blow to the 
head which addled her memory of the events. It was another thing Pink 
would wreak vengeance upon the bitch for.

Link spoke up, shaking Pink out of her reverie. �There it, just like the 
tourist map said.�

Pink saw that they had come upon a small wooden building at the base of 
their destination: Mt. Terror. This wasn�t their final goal, though. 
Their original plan had been to simply locate Shampoo and dispatch her. 
That had proven extremely difficult, much more so than they had thought 
it would. It turned out Shampoo had left her village, not bothering to 
tell anyone where she had fled. It had taken them a while to track her 
down, discovering the Joketsuzoku had fled to Japan to escape the twins 
wrath (although Pink wasn�t sure how she knew they were coming, since 
they had been secretive about their plans and had not encountered 
Shampoo since that fateful day), but there could be no evading their 
righteous vengeance. They would track her down to the ends of the earth, 
should the need arise.

 

$Though, seeings how the earth has no ends, it's a pretty empty promise.

�What now?�
 

�Wait!� the old man cried out. �You don�t want to go up there. It�s 
incredibly dangerous. They don�t call it, �The Mountain of No Return� 
for nothing, you know.�

�We�re the most dangerous things around here.� Pink eyes brightened. 
�Oh, that�s a good one. Let me write it down.� She pulled out a pen and 
paper and began copying what she had said.

�Well, if you�re determined to go, let me get you something?� He walked 
over to a nearby desk and began rummaging around in a drawer.

Link rolled her eyes. �What is it, a magic charm to ward off evil spirits?�

�Heck no. That wouldn�t do you any good.�

$Snerk.

The old man gave a triumphant 
cry. He began producing tee shirts, caps and books. On the shirt could 
be clearly read, �I went to Mt. Terror and all I got was this lousy tee 
shirt and death.�

$Heheheh.  I want one of those.

�Since you aren�t coming back anyway, how about 
dropping some cash and grabbing some souvenirs?�

�That would prove I was really here. All I need to do is put a 
photograph for my memoirs.� Pink pulled out her wallet. �I�ll take one 
of the shirts and the one of the baseball caps.�

The old man quickly pocketed the money.

The girls turned to go again, when the old man said, �Wait, at least let 
me get your names.�

Pink boldly proclaimed, �I am Pink, the Lovely Warrior of Our Time, and 
this is my sidekick, and twin sister, Link.�

�Quit saying I�m your sidekick! We are partners! Partners!� Link exclaimed.

�You�re just trying to muscle in some royalties,� Pink huffed.

�I am not!�

�Are too. And you�d better watch yourself, or the only presence you�ll 
have in my book is as a footnote.�

The two continued arguing as they exited the tourist center.

The old man shook his head sadly and pulled out a ledger. He turned it 
to the next blank space and wrote down the girls names in it. The Pink 
girl had been certainly fascinated by memoirs. He supposed what he was 
doing was writing a memoir of sorts, and the only one she would be 
getting. Her entry would be the same as that of the previous hundred 
people that had gone up the mountain and never returned.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

�Wow! The old man wasn�t kidding about there being weird plants up here. 
I haven�t seen any of these species in my life.� Link whistled 
appreciatively. Apparently the old man knew at least partially what he 
was talking about. There was indeed a crater at the top of the mountain; 
a really deep one whose bottom couldn�t be seen. The only evidence there 
was a bottom was the evil-looking red glow that emanated up from it 
somewhere. If Link had been irrational, she could honestly believe it 
led into some demon�s realm. Except there was no such thing as demons. 
But if there were, they�d probably come from a place with a red glow 
like that.

 

$I always kinda assumed they came from a meticulously etched chalk 
circle with runes drawn in the blood of unrepentant sinners arrayed 
around the edges.  Maybe I'm doing this wrong.

The rocky ground surrounding the crater was mostly bare, but where 
vegetation did grow, it tended to be exotic and of a variety Link had 
never seen before. Some of them were kind of familiar, as if one took 
some regular plants into a hall of mirrors, and decided to grow the 
distortions that had been reflected from the surfaces.

 

$Nice line.

�This is probably some corporation�s illegal dumping ground for toxic 
waste and they use the old story for a cover,� Link mumbled to herself. 
What she wouldn�t give to be an attorney at this moment.

 

$What, she wants to be invited in?

Link was still mulling over class actions law suits, and becoming 
aroused,

$*raises eyebrow*

when Pink shouted out, �Hey, look here. Doesn�t this plant 
remind you of Li?�

�What, it�s a lying Casanova that can only trick deluded morons into 
believing he�s faithful to them?� Link said.

�How could a plant be something like that?� Pink asked.

 

$I guess it's not really like Li after all.

Link rolled her eyes. �What is it anyway?� She asked drew close enough 
to see what her sister had been talking about. She had discovered a 
plant that was shaped like a flower would, except instead of some 
brightly colored petals, it had a very, very phallic shape to it. From 
the helmet shape to veins running down the sides of its extremely thick 
step the slit at the top, there was no mistaking what it looked like.

 

$Oh hell.  Link shouldn't have been getting aroused.  Plants are 
sensitive to chemical triggers.

�Creepy,� Link said.

�Hey, there�s another one!� Pink pointed behind her sister.

Link turned and sure enough, there was another one behind her, identical 
to the first, save it was even bigger. It was then an errant thought 
occurred to her. She had walked over that exact spot, and hadn�t seen 
it. She was certain she�d have noticed a plant shaped like that.

A sudden feeling of dread overwhelmed her. Link looked around, 
discovering that there were suddenly a number of identical �flowers� all 
around them. Sensing the terrible danger, Link was going to tell her 
sister to not make any sudden movements when Pink bent down, hand going 
for the stem.

�What are you doing?� Link gasped.

Pink stared evilly at the plant. �I�m going to see if I can�t use this 
thing on Shampoo for when we capture her. The slut wanted something 
shaped like this inside her, so I�m going to give her what she wants.�

�Don�t touch it!� Link cried out.

It was too late as the plant extended itself, wrapping itself around 
Pink�s wrist several times. She tried drawing it back, but impossibly, 
the plant resisted her attempts to remove it by pulling it out of the 
ground, despite her impressive martial artist�s strength.

Link�s hand went to her belt knife. She had only just cleared the blade 

>from its scabbard when several of the plants shot out of the ground, 

wrapping themselves around her wrists and her ankles. Panicked, the 
knife slipped from her grasp and fell to the ground.

$Knife: I don't know about you, but I'm getting the fuck outta here 
before I get raped, too.
Seriously, the way that's worded makes it seem like the knife is the one 
panicing.

Frantically Link 
 

$Frantically,

tried pulling, but the plants seemed to defy the laws of nature by 
remaining wrapped around her. She saw that Pink was in a similar 
predicament as other plants had wrapped themselves around her limbs, 
immobilizing her as well.

�What are we going to do?� Pink wailed.

�We�ll think of something,� Link promised.

It was then the plants revealed the source of their strength as the 
roots began to pull up from the ground. They proved long as they ripped 
through the buried earth in long lines, as though they were vines rather 
than flowers. The ground tore up in violent upheavals until all of the 
plants revealed that had originated from a common source: a large plant 
that was easily two meters thick and five high. It was capped by a large 
head, shaped like a Venus fly trap.

 

$Or a big set of lips.

�Oh shit!� Link swore as the head opened up. However, rather than sharp 
rows of teeth, the lines of it jaws were devoid of anything. Link 
wondered if it was an old plant whose teeth had fallen out and all it 
could do now was gum things to death.

Her relief was short lived as from its throat burst forth even thicker 
vines that all ended in the bulbous heads identical to the ones gripping 
all of her limbs. Link�s horror doubled as she was picked up off the 
ground and brought closer to the monstrous plant, her legs being forced 
wide open. It didn�t take a genius to figure out that the damnable thing 
was up to. It was like a Venus flytrap, only it used something else as 
bait to draw its pray close enough to grab. After years of using plants 
 

$prey

for her own ends, now one was going to use her.

 

$In her own end, no less.

As Link felt the plant�s stems start to play across her pussy through 
her panties,

$As I said, she should have been more careful about getting aroused near 
a hellish gate to the netherworld.  Those things have very acute senses 
of smell.

one thought overwhelmed her mind: This thing would have 
been perfect to use against Shampoo.

 

$Whee!  Been wanting to write some silly pseudo tentacle porn/parody 
stuff myself.  This is probably going to be a riot, especially since 
Pink and Link are definitely going to blame Shampoo again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ranma Sextacular
Chapter 6

Coming soon (as soon as I write more, that is) But I wanted folks to 
know I was working on this one once again.

 

$Been a little while.  Good to see the promise of more.  Lemons seem 
scarce on this list as of late, it's actually kinda intimidating.  I've 
got some new material myself but I don't know if this list is the best 
place to put it.

As I said, looking forward to this one.

-Nugar






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