have just enough time to do this one

Azumanga Daioh spam-fic #1
By JockoMegane

***

<camera reveals a birthday party at a non-descript Tokyo apartment.  It is

Yukari's apartment.  Yukari's Birthday party.  All the participants look a
bit older, and a more relaxed atmosphere is present.  This is a comfortable
gathering of Yukari's favorite class after graduation.  All her friends and
semi-friends are there. Kurosawa, Mr. Kimura, as well as her students (who
take care to make sure Mr. Kimura is far away from them as possible) are
sitting around a generic square dining room table>

Can't say I care for the 'script format' for this. It could have been done
in standard prose and worked just as well.

Yomi *handing Yukari a package* : "Open this one, Ms. Yukari!"

The idea can be good. Yukari takes all sorts of things wrong. At least she
didn't accuse Yomi of wanting her to give it to Nyamo.

Yukari: "A PET ROCK?!?" *Yukari coldly turns her eyes to Yomi*

Heh.

Kurosawa: *sighs* "Ungreatful as usual."

Ungrateful

Yukari: "A PET ROCK!??  WHAT KIND OF CRAP GIFT IS THIS TO GIVE TO YOUR

DEDICATED FORMER ENGLISH TEACHER?!?  WHAT ABOUT ALL THE ASSIGNMENTS I HELPED
YOU WITH?!?  WHAT IF I *DIE* TOMORROW AND ALL I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT IS A
DAMNED PET ROCK FROM YOMI?!?"

<Yomi begins to eye the door, window...anything.  Kurosawa, with a mix of

concern and amusement at Yukari's bad behavior rises from her chair to get
Yomi's tall and slim ass

'tall slim ass'? Not a good descriptor there, simply because it sounds like
its from the POV of someone trying to pick Yomi up at a bar.

Yukari: "!!!!!!!"

<Kaorin tries to slink closer to Sakaki as the latter prepares to save

Osaka from Yukari's spurned Birthday greed.>

birthday doesn' need to be capped there.

Kimura: "...We should have had a pool party..."

heh

<camera pulls back from this scene to reveal a nonchalant figure leaning

against the wall some yards away.  She is dressed in a snappy, woman's dress
suit as befitting her slim, althletic frame.  It is Tomo.>

Tomo: "Birthday Rage, brought on by poor gift-giving decisions."  *sighs

with a rueful grin, shaking her head.*

<Tomo walks from the apartment set to a totally bland and featureless room

with a table on it.  On the table there's a box with a cloth over it.>

Tomo: "Friends, don't find yourselves in the same situation.  Pet rocks

and invisible pets do NOT a Birthday gift make."

<Tomo pulls back the cloth to reveal-->

Tomo: "Cute, Popular, and Strong Tomo Industries introduce--"

<a box with a young, pig-tailed girl in the form of pottery, with the hair

and pigtails as a green plant.  Her body seems to be composed of 75% head
and pigtails on a very small frame in a proper school uniform.>

Tomo: "The Chiyo-Pet!"

Okay. I guess the script style does work. I had gotten wrapped up enough in
it I forgot the title to the story.

<Clips flash by of a generic happy family birthday party receiving the

Chiyo-Pet as Tomo narrates.>

Tomo: "All you have to do is take the Chiyo-Pet outside the box, spread

the seeds on its hard, little head, keep it watered, and watch it grow!"
*accompanying clips show this as the happy family all seem just about to
piss their collective pants in euphoric joy*

What, they don't fly off, since space aliens control the chia pig tails.

Sing-song voice: "Chi-Chi-Chi-Chiyo!"

Tomo: "And that's not all!"

<We see clips of the pig-tailed pottery-plant at the computer helping a

little boy with his homework.>

Tomo: "She's a genius!"

Heh

Amusing for a quck one shot.

DB Sommer



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