I died laughing at this, just to let you know upfront. Now my spirit roams
the Internet like one of those cheesy sci-fi horror movies...actually,
that's a lie, but I definitely cracked up when I read this. It made a shitty
day somewhat less shitty. :)

"Morning people," Yukari spat contemptuously. "I hate you all!"

She hates evening people, too. And noon people. And people on Daylight time.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I was in such a foul mood that I felt
compelled to mix sake and bourbon?"

If I were them, I'd be more curious if she was in a GOOD mood.

Tomo turned to Yomi. "Wow! You think her parents would have learned their
lesson after having her."

*SNRK*

Yukari pondered that. After a few moments of indecision, she said, "You

know

those hentai movies with the tentacle demons? He's like that."

I think I went to lunch with that guy.

"You should ask Nyamo. She dated him once in high school," Yukari said.

"She

was going through a self-destructive phase at the time. She got better
though. Right after the date, as it turned out." Yukari continued

grumbling.

"I need something to distract me, so here's what we'll do. All of you tell
me about the weird relatives you have."

"Why?" Yomi dared to ask.

"If yours are worse than mine, it might make me feel better."

The class sighed in exasperation.

Misery loves company. XD

Tomo acted as spokeswoman. "Nyamo-sensei."

Nyamo, having long since given up correcting them about using her first
name

I'd think she'd be more exasperated about the 'Nyamo' than about the
first-name. It's not unusual for students to use a favorite teacher's first
name, especially a female teacher, but Nyamo is, well...a childhood
nickname. Not very professional.

Yomi shrugged, "Oh, I guess she was mistak-" She stopped abruptly as Nyamo
swatted as something behind her. "What is it?"

"I thought I felt something try to grab me." Another shudder wracked her,
and she swatted at something only she could see once again.

Poor Nyamo-chan.

The girls watched Nyamo swing wildly at the air around her again and

curse,

"Damn those hands! They're everywhere, like a swarm of insects! Slap at

one,

and another gets you somewhere else!"

They make pills for that now.

"Wow! Chiyo's going to have the best character of us all," Osaka said
dreamily as she watched the two running around in large circles.

And Osaka *is* the best character of them all. XD

His arms went from encircling her waist to grabbing her behind. "Hey,

you've

been working out. How about giving Little Brother some sugar?"

I like this guy already.

"I'm building up a tolerance," Yoshi stated triumphantly.

"That's not something to be proud of," Kaorin muttered under her breath.

Heheh.

Yoshi turned to the young girl. "It's her nickname. DJ is short for
'Double-Jointed.' She had a reputation among the guys as being really
flexible, if you know what I mean. You could bend her in all sorts of

posi-"

H_H

"Kiyomi." She was damned if she would tell him her last name. She was

going

Koyomi

As swift as a snake, his hand darted to her behind. "And I like a little
cushion to the tushin', if you know what I mean."

Baaaad move, in more ways than one.

"And who might you be?" Yoshi asked.

"Chiyo," she responded.

He handed her a card. "Give me a call in six years. We'll go out and have
some fun."

Pfft. Amateur.

Tomo kept scratching away. "Some kind of fungus the doctors can't seem to
identify. But don't worry. They say there's only a sixty percent chance

it's

contagious.

When did Tomo get clever? XD Love this, though.

There was no time! Kagura blurted out the first thing that came to her.

"I'm

a lesbian!"

The sad thing is, this wouldn't surprise anyone.

Osaka was in awe. "I guess it's true what they say about love sneaking up

on

you. I never saw this coming at all."

But who gets the kid when they break up?

"Threesomes are more fun," Yoshi pointed out.

"I have my hands full with her." Kagura insisted.

I'd think Osaka would be the one with the full hands... n.h

"I don't like tall girls. It makes them unfeminine." Yoshi turned away

from

her.

Ouch.

Kaorin was at Sakaki's side instantly. Outraged, she shouted. "Sakaki is

not

unfeminine! She's the most feminine girl in this entire school! She is the
living epitome of femininity! I only wish I could be one tenth as feminine
as she is!"

*idly pictures Kaorin dreaming about one-tenth of Chiyo-no-chichi offering
her a slice of tomato*

Salvation came in the form of the door to the room booming open and a deep
baritone voice shout out, "Unhand that girl!"

Tuxedo Kimura!

Kimura was at Kaorin's side in an instant. "Kaori's significant other."

"You're not my significant anything!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.

Sure he is. He's her significant pain in the ass.

*snip*

Kimura stared at her closely. "Do I know you?"

"Silly, I'm Maya, your wife's twin sister."

I shudder to think what the REST of that family is like.

Tomo was the first to say what everyone was thinking. "Wow! She really is
related to Mrs. Kimura. Only someone as messed up as her could marry
something like him."

Heheheh.

Great work, as usual.

==============================
"Capitalization is the difference between
 'I helped my uncle Jack off a horse' and
 'I helped my uncle jack off a horse'."
==============================
The Eternal Lost Lurker
(This space for rent)
www.lurkerdrome.com



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