Nice hearing back from you one again:

Used most of the grammar corrections

$Yay!  Another chapter of Old Acquaintance.  I've been keeping up with
this on websites.

Helped by the fact I started writing regularly on it again last year. And
it's almost done!

<snip>
$Despite my best effort, I couldn't pinpoint a spelling or grammar
mistake in your foreword.

I copied some of it from someone else. :)

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Cloudless skies allowed sunlight to shine down unimpeded upon scantily

clad,

oiled bodies that gleamed under the bright orb's rays. The scent of
chlorinated water permeated everything, and the sound of local fauna, and

in

some cases flora, filled the air.

$The singing daylillies were kind of pretty, Kei thought, but if the
kazoo grass didn't shut up soon, she was going to have to break out a
flamethrower and do a little yard work.

That's the idea, if the plants being a little more sublime.

Lounging on her stomach, Yuri sighed in enjoyment. Waiting above the
pleasure moon of Xyphos 13 turned out to have an upside after all. It

seemed

silly for them to wait in the shot up Lovely Angel when there was a

resort

complex with their name on it waiting on the surface. Best of all, they
could have the 3WA pay for it

$After they destroyed it, naturally.

Nah. The place survived thanks to them, which is a switch indeed.

 >before opening the door from their private area and beginning the trek to

the bar next to the pool. As she entered the pool area, she noticed a

couple

of Killgore's mercenaries lounging about. Kei didn't know the name of the
shorter, stockier of the pair, but Cross had readily painfully familiar

as a

near permanent attachment to Killgore. He was dressed in a pair of

skintight

trunks that showed he had nothing to be ashamed of in the equipment
department.

$Oh, he makes all the boys blush and giggle when he passes...

Heh. Pretty much.

being a brother just didn't work. Maybe if she had known of their
pseudo-relationship going in it would have been different, but it was too
late now. Mikael ended up defined as 'hot boyfriend material' in Kei's

mind,

and nothing could change it. Not that she had to. It wasn't like they

were

related, regardless of Yuri's constant 'incest' comments that she felt
compelled to make every hour. Yuri was just jealous because she hadn't

found

a good man yet.

$Yuri: Actually, I had bought 'The great big book of incest jokes' at a
duty free shop in a spaceport a few years ago, and it seems a shame to
let it go to waste.  Nothing personal.

It's all in good natured fun, it is.

Kei was so fixated on Mikael that even the guy eyeing her at the end of

the

bar reminded her of him. It was probably because he had a similar build,

was

about the same age, and had... the exact same face?

$Nah, that couldn't be it.  She should probably go take a nap, she's
making connections that have no basis in reality.

It would appear to be  quite the coincidence on the surface.

Kei stared an amazement. It was Mikael! What in the hell was he doing

here?

If he had found any information, he should have transmitted it to them.

Or

maybe he hadn't found any and it was a social call. Perhaps he couldn't
stand being apart from Kei and had become infatuated with her. That made
sense. They could go back to Kei's room and talk about things, if that

was

the case. She made a mental note to tell Yuri not to come back to the

room

for the next five hours. That would give them plenty of time to

reacquaint

themselves.

$Hmm.  Better make it seven.  And make sure she brought a case of water
up when she came.

And more lubricant, just in case they need more quality time.

Kei shouted, "I hate it when complete strangers come up and grope me like
that! Do I have 'wanton slut' tattooed on my ass or something?!"

$Drop your bikini, let me look, and I'll tell you.

Not a lemon. I do enough of those as is.

 > >

The slicer turned to see the speaker was a man that was just as tall as

him,

with an odd patch taped to his side. His head was titled so that he could
peer at Mikael from above his glasses. It was fairly obvious from his

body

posture and the tone of the statement what the guy was interested in.

Mikael

used a similar one when picking up women.

$Mikael: Well, I tried autoerotic asphyxiation for a while, that was
different, but nah, I think I'll just stick to loose women.

Yeah. It's a nice hobby. Not one I have, but it is.

"He's not here and I do need something to keep me entertained." Cross

looked

winsomely in the direction Mikael had left. "Such a loss. He had a cute
smile. It reminded me of Killgore's." He shrugged helplessly again, then
switched his attention to the direction the Dirty Pair had taken. "Follow
them. See where they go and report any suspicious activity to me."

$"Right, boss!" Yurian sadi briskly.
Cross frowned when Yurian made no move to turn away.  "Well?" he asked
testily.
"They're acting suspiciously, Cross."  Seeing the assassin's glare, he
paled.  "Oh, you mean suspicious for THEM.  Right, right...."

Heh

"Over there," Yuri pointed to where a small number of terminals stood off

on

their own. Some people preferred privacy, and distrusted anything linked

to

an outside line. Supposedly the stand alone machines would automatically
wipe their memory clean after the hotel guest stopped using them to

ensure

that privacy. The real question was why Kei wanted one. She got along

with

computers about as well as she did with chastity.

$Heh.  They both made her cranky, and something always got broken.

Ha! Nice one.

Kei used her room card to activate the machine. Within seconds the screen

flashed that it was ready for use.

"Well?" Yuri tapped her foot impatiently.

Reaching under her shirt, Kei withdrew the small datachip from its hiding
place in her top.

$Yuri: I know you like to show off your breasts, but really, isn't
getting a silicone implant a little desperate?

Cute as well. You're still in top form.

While Anton Scorphious had indeed been the head of the Zeiram project, he
had been working for YSC at the time, not TC. His job was to create a
control unit for Zeiram so that it could be properly utilized outside a
laboratory environment.

$I so totally bet it's going to throw off his control, eat him, then get
ten times worse than it is.

The ten times worse part would be hard to accomplish, but then, the DP are
around, aren't they?

But the idea never caught on in the military sectors, the weapon being

too

imprecise and low percentage to be regarded as useful.

$imprecise?  I'd think pinpoint orbital bombardment with chunks of rock
would be old hat by now.  And low percentage what?  I think you need to
reword that.

will do so.

a

a

highly compact mobile weapon system capable of destroying an entire

planet.

True, he only had enough liquid to destroy nine planets, but that was

still

nine planets. Even the pair had only managed three, and Eden had a very
small population.

$Just to put things in perspective.  Can't have the reader thinking the
pair is more destructive overall.

Yep. Might make the bad guys look not so tough. :)

For years YSC had secretly recruited and trained people extensively for

astounding. They had trained and inserted over two thousand people in
strategic companies and locations spread across the galaxy.

$Nothing like planning ahead for the company's economic and political
future.  Someone had some foresight.

Slapatcha Scorphous did.  He engineered their success.

>from blackmail to murder. They had manipulated corporations and

governments

to do their bidding, even controlling entire economies, all to YSC's
benefit. There were even plans to try to limit the effectiveness of the

3WA,

if not eliminate it altogether.

It was by far the largest conspiracy the galaxy had ever seen.

$But of course, now they've lost control of Zeiram.  And he's always
been an impressive force of destruction.

True, but on a much smaller scale at least to date.

"Now we have to figure out what to do." Kei grabbed the data chip from

the

terminal and placed it back in her bikini top.

$Never knew when she was going to run into Mikael again, and a little
extra volume never hurt anyone.

Wouldn't want to accidentily lick it, though.

people spying on them, they were going to have to figure a way to get

Iria

and back to 3WA headquarters to report to them in person about YSC's
sinister plot. This was way bigger than Zeiram. Possibly bigger than any
case Yuri had been involved in.

$Nothing like the potential for the biggest disaster ever to really get
her blood flowing.

Just another day at the office for them.

you."

"If we don't contact you, it'll mean we're already dead. Cross out." He
looked to Yurian. "You and Vanderdecken eliminate Kei. I'll take Yuri,

then

deal with the slicer."

$Oh, great.  Someone trying to kill Kei and Yuri.  That should make them
happy.

LIke I said, just another day...

"He's the one the that's got the price tag," Yurian pointed out.

"He's the least dangerous at this point. And this is a Tangerine Mission.
Eliminate the target at all costs. I don't care who else you have to

kill,

just do it."

Yurian shook his head sadly. "What a waste. Both of them are nice pieces

of

ass."

$Cross: So is Mikael, but you don't see me bitching about having to kill
him, do you?  Get to work.

Ha! Good point, though.

It took only minutes for Yurian to arrive at Vanderdecken's position. He

was

lounging about around a corner, able to see around it courtesy of a full
length mirror on a nearby wall. He was trying to appear casual as he

flipped

through an old-style newspaper, old because it actually used paper made

from

trees.

$Streisand trees, actually, another one of the many species of audible
flora.  Almost universally reviled, they were currently being harvested
into extinction to insure a steady supply of newspapers, toilet paper,
and post it notes.

I'd be happy to slash and burn a forest of them.

dared without making a noise, the slicer took the vase off and set it

down

on the floor.

$Fortunately, they were hothouse grown imports, or they might have
complained at the movement.

Heh.

Rather than let her continue moving her head, (causing the painful side
effect of making Yurian hit the unyielding floor hard enough to nearly

break

his hand) his other hand shot out and snared Kei by the neck. Preventing

her

$See, there you used parentheses to set off a side thought.

I tend to use both.

Kei wondered what he was talking about until she realized that in the

course

of the struggle, the tie on her robe had loosened. When she wrapped her

legs

around Yurian's neck, her robe had fallen free from her waist, leaving

her

nude save for her arms, which were still in the robe's sleeves.

$Yurian almost ended up with a close view of heaven.  That could have
been distracting.

Kei makes a similar comment.

Given her previous encounter with Mikael, rather than blushing and
tightening the robe, she posed seductively for his benefit.

$Nice to see some people know when to be proud of themselves.

Yep. Nothing he hasn't seen before up close and personal.

Kei checked the firearm's ammunition. "Only one, but he's the most

dangerous

of them all. A Samisdat. I'm not sure if I can take him down, which means
Yuri doesn't have a chance alone. We have to hurry!"

$Heh, half expected Yuri to accidentally wipe the floor with him, but
he's a serious assassin and as such doesn't get an embarrassing defeat.

Right. Part of the reason he got to kill Whisper in an earlier chapter. To
show he is dangerous

....And the frames and lenses fell to the ground.

$Kinda suspected that, since you made such a point of mentioning them
earlier.

I tried to work it into the text with Kei not being able to see his eyes.
But due to the fact I write minimalistically, things like that do tend to
stand out.

face.

She cried out in pain as she felt the sharpened point of the arm of the
glasses go into the front of her hand and saw it emerge from the back,
covered in blood.

$Thought for a moment it might be poisoned.

Nah. Too likely he'd nick himself since there aren't any guards on them

flailing randomly and wildly, making her movements completely

unpredictable

as she slowly drowned. Strangulation was the most practical way to

dispatch

her, since he now lacked a weapon.

$And it's slow and scary, always a plus.

Nah. Cross was a professional. Quick and clean, and spare the melodrama for
him.

Then Yuri's hand curled reflexively into a fist, but was unable to since
there was a blade still embedded in it.

$I would imagine that might cause her to cut her fingers more.

Nah. The sharp end is pointing out the back, remember. She's gripping the
handle the same way Cross was.

light wounds in non-vital areas. As his vision turned red, both due to

the

blood in the water and his brain starting to shut down, he thought of the
ignominy of it all. The other Samisdat would have made fun of him for

being

killed by his own weapon.

$Aww, heheh.  That always sucks when the other assassins make fun of you.

They tend to be an elitist bunch that one up one another.

reduced

to thousands of bits of scrap metal, none larger than five cubic meters

in

length.

$I bet they're going to be pissed they lost their ride.

Yep. The LA had been with them a while. But to all good things.

"Inoperable."

"Here it comes!" Markham said, ducking under his console. Foillet didn't
know why he bothered.

$Once, when he was young, Markham had watched an important safety video
called 'Duck and Cover', which had stuck with him.  Foillet had seen a
different one.  'Kiss your ass goodbye.'

Heh. Pretty much.

without Killgore to guide them. In hindsight, it was clear Iria was a
genius. At least that was what he would tell her, since her paranoia was

the

only reason he and the others were still alive.

$Not really paranoia, really, she'd just planned on killing Killgore
after the mission was finished and wanted to be prepared.

Not a far cry from the truth.

Bob opened a channel to the women and Mikael on the surface of the moon.
They'd have to rendezvous quickly, before the authorities started moving

and

detained them until they could explain what had happened. They couldn't
waste a second. It was their turn to save Iria the way she had saved

them,

even if she hadn't been present at the time. It didn't take a genius to
figure out that if Killgore's crew had betrayed them, it was only a

matter

of time before Killgore did the same thing to Iria.

$She's so suspicious of him it's almost a weakness.

Yep, and her obsession with Zeiram as well. It makes her almost as
relentless as Big Z, though.

[End Chapter]

$In the next chapter of Avenging....

Not for a while yet.

Author's note: My god, a chapter that turned out shorter than I thought

it

would.

$Luckily.  Don't get me wrong, I love your long chapters, but I had a
limited amount of time to C&C this and if it'd taken much longer it
would have been next week before I got it finished.

Glad it made it in under the clock, then.

Will wonders never cease? In any case, barring something completely
unpredictable happening, only two chapters to go (I think there will be

too

much to put into one chapter, but you never know.) As you can tell, we're
entering the climax of the story. Hope to get the next chapter out before
too long.

$Looking forward to it, naturally.  Only ran into a few mistakes, whole
thing flowed very well and was a good chapter.  Nice to see the tensions
between Killgore and the pair finally erupting.

It was bound to happen.

Didn't expect that

Killgore's crew were all redshirts, well, except for Cross,

I didn't really do much with them other than they were background people. As
you said, Cross was the only one really developed.

but now it's

just down to the main characters.  Fight between Yuri and Cross seemed
kinda short, but that's more realistic than a long fight, anyway, since
they're both going to be going for quick, lethal strikes.

Yeah, besides, a fight with Zeiram is coming up, and you know it won't be
short and to the point.

 Hope you

found this C&C useful, I will admit to being a little out of practice.

It was fine. I enjoyed it and it was useful.

Oh, and personally, I'd like to see some more Azumanga goodness.  Missed
the opportunity to comment on those.  Funny stuff, though.

Good. I have another one planned for next week, then maybe it'll be the next
chapter of Should Old. Now that I'm right next to the end, and I have the
final chapter plotted out well, I want to finish it.

Thanks for the C+C, and as I said, it's nice to have you back.

DB Sommer



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