Subject: [FFML] Re: [OMG/SI] Oh! My Brother! Chapter 11 - The End
From: "Benjamin A. Oliver" <boliver@email.arizona.edu>
Date: 10/16/2004, 1:35 AM
To: Christopher Angel
CC: ffml@anifics.com


"..."  Dot dot dot.

Well well!  What's all this, then?  Are my eyes deceiving me?  No, this ancient
piece of literature is actually done!  Intriguing.

And besides, it sure took you long enough to get to Chapter 11, Mr. Black
Kettle. =^.^=

From: "Christopher Angel" <c_j_angel@hotmail.com>
Subject: [FFML] [OMG/SI] Oh! My Brother! Chapter 11 - The End
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2004 00:56:57 -0600

I haven't gotten tired of staring at this for several minutes. ;)

Quick note: If you want to read the previous chapters go to:
http://www.yggdrasil.org/omg/index.html.

I recommend it, since I think I posted the last chapter in early 2000.

Prime fanfic material, man, back in the day...  We were all fresh from the
Revenge Wars, tons of the old guard were prolific writers still.  Not like
today, when people are afraid of bad writing so much that they tend not to
write at all.

I tell ya, man... at this point, I'd welcome a bit of bad writing, especially if
it meant an overall good series got done faster.  Or got done at all.  I mean,
structure's all well and good, but not all good spellers and grammar
specialists can make an entertaining story.  ;)

*Good morning, Christopher James Angel, this is your subconscious speaking.*

Great, my subconscious sounds like my mother.

Yeah, I know the feeling.  Welcome to my life.

...

Oh, that was you?  Sorry.  Actually, my subconscious sounds more like a weird
diplomatic scientific Tibetan monk-hermit Yoda.  Which explans a lot, actually,
but that's beside the point.  ^_^;;;

*Very funny.  To be specific, we're the portion of your subconscious that's
tied to your Godhood.*

Ooo, my subconsious has an MPD.  This bodes well.

Nothing wrong with that at all. :)

*Good.  Now get up and prepare yourself...after all you might just have to
do some BUTT-KICKING FOR GOODNESS!*

And with that, I jerked awake.

Whee!  Butt-kicking for goodness! XD

Oh! My Brother!
Chapter 11 - The End

"Chapter 11!  Part Two:  The Beginning!"

"Chapter 11!  Bankruptcy!"

"Chapter 11!  The Final Frontier!  These are the voyages of the starship Chris
Angel.  His four-year mission, to seek out new fanfics and new plotlines, to
boldy write what nobody has written before!"

A Self-Insertion Story

Very few SIs get handled very well.  This is one of them that I feel was handled
in a proper manner. :)

Ladies and gents, I do not NORMALLY consider the killing of another sentient
being - even if it  was a demon - a good thing.  As a matter of fact, I
consider it a very bad thing.  It's pretty high on my list of "Things I
Would Rather Die Than Do."

Unless, of course, you were very very bored and the sentient being in question
was very annoying.  Perhaps. :)

some peace and quiet with Keiichi-san.  She just didn't ever seem to let go
of her animosity towards me.  I suppose that could be expected, with my
being a Goddess and Mara being a Demon, but things often weren't quite as

When you switched over to Belldandy's perspective, I was kind of still thinking
from Chris's perspective, so you can imagine how twisted up into a knot my
thought processes got for a few minutes until I reread the section and sorted
it out. :)

"Nope.  It's too nice a day to stay inside.  You two go out and have some
fun!"  She danced away, holding the papers tauntingly.  "If you spend all
your time indoors, you'll turn into a mushroom!"  Keiichi growled and dove
after her, but Urd split into a bunch of miniatures and scattered away.

ArbyFish(locks the door, swallows the key):  Well a'course!  Gotta turn ya inta'
a mushroom.  Wot'd th' door-to-door fungus salesmen do otha'woise?

Now that was taking things too far.  "STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!" I demanded.   I
suppose it was a little too loud.  Oh dear.  The Urd-lings collapsed back
into one body as she and Keiichi held their ears in pain.  They glared
accusingly at me while I lectured Urd.  "Now, Keiichi couldn't get his
homework done with all that trouble with Mara."

Excuses, excuses.  Tough life.  The frat boys kick him out of his apartment and
force him to live in a beautiful temple surrounded by beautiful goddesses.  Has
to put together his own bikes from intricate detailed plans Skuld made. 
Sheesh. ;)

"Mara ate my homework!"

"Ohhh no, K-1.  That excuse ain't gonna work again this time!"

"But it's true!  Look at her!"

I had almost no energy left, but I had little choice.  I focussed on some
steel parking barrier spikes and chanted a quick spell:

"O, Staves of Steel,
Strength of the Earth Below!
Gather, Strike, and Halt
The Demon's Rampage!"

At first, I thought it was Chris doing this, and I was all like, "Way to go! 
Woo!  A decent spell!"  Then it turned out it was Belldandy.  Oh well. ^_^;;

Urd scowled at me from her place on the couch, and went back to watching TV.
"You know," she mused conversationally, "I wonder what Tyr would have to say
about all this complaining."

Tyr Anasazi:  Oh, I know why you're complaining.  (whips out gatling laser) 
BECAUSE YOU'RE SO UNCOMPROMISINGLY INFERIOR!!!  (fires wildly)

Oh.  Wrong Tyr. ^_^;;;;

"Right," I said evenly.  "I'm a god, I have superpowers, my last attempt at
a spell turned Keiichi's hair green, and this morning I was awakened by a
particularly vocal part of my subconsious, and I'm supposed to look out for
something weird."

ArbyFish:  Oh, roight noice spell it wos!  Gotta turn ya 'air green.  Wouldn't
be proppa' if we didn't!

Yes, my backup power source is artificial sweetener.  No, it doesn't matter
what kind.

Ahhh.  Splenda, Equal, Saccharine...  Some are more powerful than others.  Gotta
keep a few packets in your pocket.  Do that, and you'd be utterly invincible! 
Mwahahahahaa! XD

Hey, at least MY backup power source doesn't get me plastered.  Or give me
brainfreeze.  Or make me useless.

It's really convenient and comes in small sweet packages!  What could be better
than that?

Keiichi sighed and nodded, and then explained what happened to Urd, who
nodded and sighed, "Mara."

"Mara Jade?  Yeah, I know, I hated the Star Wars novels, too."

Hmm?  Oh, wrong Mara. ^_^;;;

I took a deep breath, brushed some hair from Bell's face, and then stood.
"Right," I snarled, summoning my armour.  "Time to go demon hunting."

"Christopher James Angel," Urd snapped.  "Don't you DARE."  At my attempt to
make a smart remark back at her, she overrode me.  "No, shut up.  Before you
go off like an idiot, why don't you think of your little sister?"  I looked
in confusion over at Bell, and she snarled in exasperation, "No, not her,
SKULD."

Wow!  Logical jump.  I guess I read this over a little too quickly to catch the
part where Skuld was in danger.  I mean, it's pretty likely, but to berate
someone for not reading minds and thinking three steps ahead... Well, that
seems a bit non-sequitorish.

"Can you please pass the soap?"

"What do you think I am?  A typewriter?!"

Not that it's a bad thing.  I'll gladly take a wacky logical leap with ya if it
means the chapter gets done faster. :)

I stared at her in horror.  I could feel my face paling as I considered what
kind of trouble Mara could get Skuld into at an engineering college.  I
swore, and (from her viewpoint, anyway) disappeared.

"Woof woof woof!"

"What's that, boy?  Mara's armed all the nuclear silos in the world and aimed
them at Keiichi?!"

"WOOOF!"

"Oh, Mara's going after Skuld.  Sorry, misunderstood ya there, boy."

My self-recriminations rolled around my skull like a perverse mantra as I
flew towards the school.  I was pissed of with myself, and rightfully so.  I
was also ticked off with Thor and the other Aesir.  I had been thinking like
them, proactive, instead of the way I was supposed to be acting - reactive.
Going after Mara was not in the job description.

Aww, don't get mad!  Get even! :)

impact in Planck time.  I'm fine, though.  Gets messy when I'm not paying
attention when I'm flying and hit planes at Mach 2.  Not for me, for the
plane.  Oh well, I haven't caused any major damage - well, not to anyone
that counts, that is.

Sheesh.  I'm starting to sound like Urd.

She does kind of rub off on ya after a while, doesn't she? :)

I learned over time (heh) how to use the ability to do some tricks.

*Da-dum-thwishh!*

I flew over to the nearest Christian Church (near being relative, it was way
the heck away) and 'borrowed' some holy water.  Then I zipped back, and
considered how I wanted to do this.  Carefully, I began to leave drops of
water in mid-air, creating an upside-down "cup" of drops that would entrap
Mara.  When time ran again, Mara'd have a nice little rainstorm to deal
with.

^_^  If you've got a chance for a prank, might as well go for it.

Hey, don't give me that look, it wouldn't do anything bad, only hurt like
hell.

Yes, it's mean.  NORSE Pantheon, remember?  Mean is part of the job
description.  I practically had to take night classes on the subject.

As long as you don't have to face Loki and Jorga-whatshisbucket afterwards. 
You'd have to get up pretty early in the morning to combat them right nice and
proper.

***

Apparently, Skuld takes her courses a lot more seriously than I expected her
to.  She wouldn't let me pull her out of class, and pointed out several
worthies she felt could protect her just as well.  (She had a point, one of
her classmates is a warrior-angel under Michael, a rather martial Archangel
in the Judeo-Christian pantheon.)

Hoo-yeah!  You shoulda seen the armies he wiped out in the Old Testament. 
That's one arcangel you don't want to mess with. :)

Don't ask me why there's so many of the good guys hanging around Nekomi.
The girls know, and won't tell me much other than it has something to do
with the temple.  Or me.  Or the alignment of Neptune with Pluto causing
harmonic peturberations in the etheric flow of mana in the region.  At
times, getting a straight answer out of my sisters is impossible.

It's a narrative necessity!  Like somebody's controlling your life and putting
everyone on polarized sides....

I entered the house in a decidedly bad humor, one that wasn't helped by the
fact that I discovered Urd and Belldandy BOTH comatose on the floor.  "What
the hoeck happened here?!"

Skuld:  Uhh, well, it all started when Urd needed to recharge her powers, and
then we all started toasting to our good health, then to Keiichi, then... it
all went downhill from there. *hic!*

The mini-Urd pointed to an audio player laying beside full-Urd's body.
"Polka music," she replied.  At my incredulous look she barked, "Hey, don't
give me that look, you hate rap!"

*nod* Polka music is indeed dangerous material in the wrong hands.  Arguably as
deadly as Disco when properly applied.  Though they still pale in comparison do
dub Minmay.

It didn't take me long, subjectively, to find Mara.  There said demon was,
standing in a tree, holding a weird crystal ball with a balance in it and
watching the road below us intently.   As I landed out of sight to listen, I
noticed with no small amusement that Mara's face and arms were covered with
pale pink spots - almost like faint burns.

Ohhohohohohohoh! :)

Either I've entered Bizarro-World, or Mara and Sayoko are working together.

Bizarro World.  Now THERE's a thought.

"Yeah, me," I snarled.  "Low, don't you think, Mara?  Even for a demon?"

Well, it's not like you'd expect the villains to use techniques you actually
LIKE and have no problem overcoming.  Gotta take your lumps and such.  Wouldn't
be proper if you didn't :)

Just then...I felt something.  A touch, deep in my soul.

...why is my mind now getting the image of Chris donning a pair of black shades,
whipping out an electric guitar, and wailing out some heavy metal music?

(Firing out some shots from a gun, which turn into speaker pods, and latch
themselves on the faces of the enemy so they can get the full impact.)

Umm... too much Macross7. ^_^;;;

*Of course, brother.*  A sudden vision.  A man - myself? - with the weight
of a world on his shoulders.  Three girls - red, green and blue?  Names -
Rayearth, Windam, Selece.

Utena, Sakura... Kei and Yuri!  His ancient otaku past will give him the power
to TRIUMPH! :)

 A child, a girl, whom I hated, pitied, blamed.  A
power, an intimate knowledge of the mystical.  A determination to lead, not
to protect.  To guide, not to shield.  To aid, not to coddle.

To fight, not to win.  To get brutally maimed, not to die.

...

Well, maybe not that. :)

I had to turn it just SO, and then say THESE words, and then twist it like
SO, and turn it like SO, and say THOSE words... The scales suddenly leveled
out, and Mara swore.  I smiled grimly at the angry demon, and cast the
sphere down to the ground, where it shattered into a multitude of shards.

Nifty scene.  Seemed to go by quickly, but that's appropriate for the pace of
the 'fic.

"Yeah..." panted Mara.  "Since...when does a...newbie know an advanced
spell...like...uh...that?"

Chris(whips out a sheaf of papers):  It's in the SCRIPT!  Hahahahahahaaaaa! 
Read it and weep.

"Isn't Mara engaged to you?" Keiichi asked Belldandy.

"ENGAGED?!" Urd shouted.  "She said she was engaged to Belldandy?"  Urd fell
over laughing, and began to pound the ground.

Panda(holds up a sign): [THEY DON'T KNOW ME VERY WELL, DO THEY?]  (runs off)

"SHE?!" I echoed incredulously.  "Woah.  That is one BUTCH chick."  I
snorted with laughter at the insulted snarl that came from Mara, and levied
a flat glare upon her.  "So what do we do with the Disco Queen here?"

She must be punished.  One thousand years of DDR!!!

Urd smiled in a sort of wondering way.  "You know, that's the first time
you've ever called us your family?"

I thought about that, and then smiled.  "Well, you are, Urd.  It took me a
while to realize it, but you are."

Not a bad ending.  Works well enough.

We had a lot more adventures together - some good, some bad, some downright
bizarre.

Bizarre is good.

But I never regretted the Wish that made Christopher Angel into the God of
Moments, also known as Paradox, the God of Never.  The wish that gave me a
new family.

Awwww!  Cute lil' WAFFy stuff. :)

*******

Author's notes: FINALLY!  This took me years.  I'm happy to say it's over,
and I think with a bit of style.

Yup, pretty good, overall.

Look forward to more of the Oh! My Brother! crew in Oh! My Brother
II/Drunkark's Walk V: Another Divine Mess You've Gotten Me Into.

Oh, by the way: Planck Time = 1.35125 x 10^-43 seconds

1 Mushroom = 1.6 seconds = 2.3 meters = 2.3 degrees Celsius...

Oh, we weren't quibbling over scientific issues. ^_^;;;

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, thanks for finishing this one up!  It was about time, too.

...

Does this mean Krista Perry, Louis-Philippe Giroux, and Zen have to finish all
their stuff now, too? :)

--
Benjamin A Oliver
boliver@email.arizona.edu

First-Year Management Information Systems Graduate Student
Eller College of Management
University of Arizona

Writings: Fan Fiction
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html

Webcomic: Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!! The Early Years
http://nettg.com (currently foozled, techs are working on getting it back up)


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