Subject: [FFML] Re: [OMG] Drunkard's Walk V, Chapter 1
From: Chan Wei Lik
Date: 10/16/2004, 3:07 AM
To: FFML


I've been waiting for this since I saw the outline of your series. I can
say I'm not disappointed with it.

I'm curious, what point in time of the OMG series does this story take
place? I know Chris jumbled things up a bit in his series, but it'd be
nice to know which volume of OMG do you imagine this story taking place
in.

It looks like the temple compound has been remodelled, there are more
buildings than have been shown in OMG manga or anime. I'll skip remarks
about that, you kept the residential building single-storey, that's
good.

Megumi referring to her parents as "mom" and "dad"... most english readers
wouldn't get it until '06 anyway, so I'll let it slide as well.

What does concern me is how you got the fight started. One moment Doug is
trying to get away from the goddesses, the next moment, a domestic
disputes arrives, giving him the best chance to escape and what does he
do? Grab one of those goddesses and rattle her around in a most
threatening manner. Why the change of heart? At least he should realise
that grabbing a goddess by the collar is not the best course of action.

Oh, I don't think he should have been able to grab Skuld's hammer after
being hit in the foot either.

Other than that, story's fine. Look forward to the next chapter.
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