Pete Zaitcev wrote:

On Sun, 3 Oct 2004 13:36:18 -0400
"DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net> wrote:

Drake looked at his watch. According to their pre-flight ETA, they

should be

arriving at their destination in two minutes.

Your terminology is off.

Yeah, I outsmarted myself there. Will have to adjust that.

[...]
Drake didn't deign to respond.

Nice humour.

Thanks.

"With pleasure. My daughter made me listen to that !#$% song about a

hundred

times before I lost it and blew up her CD player." Drake pulled back the
bolt on his rifle. To the three-headed abomination, he said, "Hey Ugly!
Mmmbop this!" and emptied his magazine into the beast.

Drake landed with the unloaded rifle? Surely you jest. Also, you could

have

written "emptied his first magazine", or something. Otherwise it sounds
a little unwise for Drake.

It should be first magazine, though he would switch to the grenade launcher
after emptying the mag. Then it would be the explosives next. The Hanson's
career had it coming. :)

The cultural references went right over my head, but it was a very solid
writing, there's nothing I can fix.

Yeah, usually I don't do things so... contemporary, for lack of a better
term. Looking back on this, the mood I was in probably had something to do
with it.

Thanks for the comments.

DB Sommer

-- Pete

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'