Suggested changes: {before : after}
On 09/17/2004 04:33 PM, DB Sommer said:
Cross nodded his head almost imperceptibly. "Yes, with the Holcomb
fiasco over with, Scorphius only needs one more thing before he
becomes a real threat."
"Which {give : gives} me a strong bargaining posture, eh? Killgore
winked conspiratorially at his personal assassin.
So they know what he's collecting. Would Beanie Babies be evil enough?
Killgore clapped his hands together with enthusiastic glee. "It'll be
like a second honeymoon."
Must have been an ... interesting honeymoon. :}b
But for the young slicer named Mikael, it could have been raining
hard enough to drown a fish and he wouldn't have noticed. He was
busying himself with completing the final test run on his computers.
All the hardware and software passed their final check, and he heaved
a sigh of relief. While he was tense with what{: was} about to come,
excitement was the emotion that ruled his heart.
With the door opened, Mikael had turned to the hardware matter. He
brought everything he owned into play, anticipating this to be the
biggest score of his life. Most of his money went into hardware, but
state of the art was necessary for one of his skills, just like his
mother never skimped on weaponry when it came {time :} to her line of
work. He was talented enough to make plenty of money, and had a set
up that most slicers would envy.
Since all of the systems checked out, Mikael went to a monitor and
activated its viewscreen. The picture flared to life. Mikael winced
as it showed a very large close up of Smoothie's face. Seeing his
temporary partner, Mikael was reminded of when Kei had jokingly
confessed she had expected Mikael to be an out-of-shape, geeky nerd
who would become panicky when confronted with someone as attractive
as Kei. It wasn't the first time Mikael had heard such, and it always
irritated him that women would automatically assume he was like that
when hearing his profession before actually meeting him. Regrettably,
Mikael had to admit there was some validity in the stereotype when
looking at the ill-named Smoothie. He was near morbidly obese {in
weight :}, rumpled, unkempt, laughed far too hard at his own jokes,
and looked like he considered bathing an option rather than a
necessity. It was slicers like him that gave ones like Mikael an
unwarranted reputation.
There was one last thing to do before allowing his mind to enter the
system and begin its mission to slice away the information he needed.
Mikael picked up an injector filled with a greenish fluid. Pheryl Gel
was an invention that had been created under questionable
circumstances. Despite the notorious history (supposedly involving
nearly five hundred deaths in its experimental stages) the gel worked
effectively, {enable : enabling} the user's mind to more easily
process the huge amounts of information that could be gained while
hooked up to the cyberealm. It was like an ambrosia to slicers
everywhere, giving them the ability to improve their abilities by
nearly three times. Of course, like most things, there was a major
drawback. While not addictive (most users experienced migraines after
the effects wore off) its increase in mental information capacity
meant a decrease in one's motor systems. It cut down sensitivity to
the point of where it felt like the user was wearing a thick rubber
suit. While hooked up to a computer, one's awareness of their body
was limited anyway, losing control of one's physical form was still
an unpleasant feeling. That was one of the reasons Mikael used the
gel sparingly.
Through his giggles, the president of YSC finally got out. "We can
only pray he does. That mass driver is on one of the military's
orbital platforms. It's designed to repel a planetary invasion. It
has enough firepower to blow a half dozen battleships apart and still
have guns to spare. Even if he could get past the exterior defenses,
there are three hundred men on board. Not the rank and file security
people or bumbling mercenaries you've been hiring, but highly trained
military personnel. They'll tear him to pieces in minutes. And, since
Danube's government needs us to keep their world from becoming the
backwater flyspeck it was before we came here, we can warn them about
what to expect in Zeiram. They'll keep their mouths shut, since
what's bad for us is fatal for them. If Anton is stupid enough to
come here, it'll all be over for him, not us."
Sounds like more Zeiram chow to me.
The curse caught {Slapatcha : Slapatcha's} attention. Springer was
showing emotion. She never showed emotion. And it seemed to have
centered on Myce. No, it was when she recalled the 3WA agent's
presence there. That was what had triggered the outburst. How very...
interesting. Springer was one of the few things in Scorphius' life
that was an enigma. Despite all the power at his command, he knew
nothing about her, other than she was the absolute best at her job
and always accomplished his goals. This Zeiram matter was the one
time she had, if not failed, at least been delayed in resolving
things. And in her defense, it was Anton who she was dealing with.
Insane or not, he was a Scorphius, and they were a breed apart. And
then there was Zeiram, which was nearly an irresistible force. She
could be afforded some slack in this matter. At least for now.
"I figured it best we don't know each other's everyday names.
{Culpable : Plausible} deniability is always a necessity in our line
of work."
I like the original better in some ways, but I think this is what you meant.
He had {: to} leave the system and warn his mother and Kei. Due to
the nature of the problem, sending them the information directly to
them was impossible. They would never receive it, and it could be
used to track Mikael's location. He would have to deliver it to them
personally. It was the only way to make them understand what they had
really gotten themselves into.
Mikael's voice was surprisingly hoarse. {1 :}"I'm not lobotomized. I
did an emergency extract."
"A favor for {mom : Mom}."
That made Fujikuro laugh. "I ain't a taxi service."
Didn't he say that to Iria in the anime?
"If those two are back together, I doubt much will be left at ground
level wherever they go," Fujikuro mumbled under his breath. "Fine,
I'll get you to the spaceport. I'd tell you to keep them out of
trouble, but I ain't one for wishing for the moon. Just try to help
keep {the : them} alive."