[FFML] Parody - Humor: Bloody Mary-Sues [DBZ]

Bloody Mary-Sues
A One-shot DBZ Fanfic by Quedorm

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The girl rushed towards Earth in her custom-built
space pod... The most
advanced single-person space vehicle in the universe,
unmatched in
speed, manuverability, engine power, and onboard
computer AI. She was
currently the sole survivor of her planet after it and
her whole family
were destroyed in a terrible battle with evil...

She was half Saiyajin, half Nameckseijin, and half
Milanthoronigian; a
powerful race with the powers of healing, telepathy,
immediate
regeneration, learning any attack when they see it,
mind-control, Ki
Absorption, 15 different power up techniques,
Instant-kill attacks,
Summoning Powers, Talking to animals, etc etc... Blah
Blah Blah.

Her space pod crashed into the earth, creating a
mile-wide crater from
the impact. A moment later after the dust kicked up
from the impact had
settled, she stepped outside...

The wind suddenly picked up her beautiful long, ivory
black hair causing
it to flow magnificently in the breeze as the light of
Earth's sun
sparkled over its length. She carelessly flicked it
out of her eyes, a
golden yellow, as bright as the...

*BLAM!!!*

A loud gunshot interrupted the narrative. The
Saiyajin/Nameckseijin/whatever
girl's eyes widened in an expression of absolute shock
as a bullet buried
itself into her forehead, driving deep into her skull
and smashing it's
way through layers of brain tissue before smashing
through the back of her
head in a spectacular explosion of blood and gore.

Despite the fact that there was no way in hell that
she should have been
able to speak then, let alone live, from the injury...
the girl managed
to squeak out a reasonably pathetic "Why?", before
falling limply onto
her back and dying.

*BLAM!!!*

Three more shots buried themselves into her skull,
blasting it
completely to pieces at the final shot. Blood oozed
from the stump of
where her head had once been, and pooled over the
interior of her space
pod...

Inside of a hover-car that floated in the distance, a
lavender-haired
teenage boy lowered his Custom HK-PSG1 Sniper Rifle
(7.62mm by the way... :P)
with a sigh...

"Bloody Mary-Sues", Trunks muttered irritably, "Thank
Kami they keep
forgetting to be bullet-proof... not that I'd want to
waste Ki on these
losers anyway."

"That's the twenty-third one this week..." Goten Noted
as he started the
car up, and began driving it towards the bleeding
carcass, "Man, it's
like there's no end of them!"

Trunks nodded as he removed the clip from the rifle,
and replaced it
with a fresh one, "You said it... Shies! You'd think
they'd get the
message by now."

Goten shuddered, "Could be worse."

"COULD be worse!?", the lavender-haired boy asked
incredulously as he
took out a relatively used Mossberg 12-gauge shotgun
and snapped it open
before beginning to load it, "How could it EVER get
any worse than
this!?" he grumbled darkly as he finished loading the
gun and snapped it
shut, pumping it briefly before putting it aside and
picking up a
flamethrower...

"They could be cross-dressing over-weight
trans-sexuals..." Goten
replied with shrug.

"..." Trunks said. His friend had a point.

"So, why are we gonna burn the body anyway?"

Trunks checked the flame-thrower, and nodded in
satisfaction as he
placed it nest to him, "Remember that freak a few days
ago?"

Goten's eyes widened, "You mean the one that was
Cell's and Frieza's
'Daughter'?"

Trunks shuddered...

"Never again... From now on, we confirm the kill and
burn the body. If
fire doesn�t work, then we use acid, or whatever else
humanly
possible..."

Goten nodded, "Yamcha's still in therapy after that
'date' with her you
know..." He then paused, "Say... Did you bring along
the M72A3-LAW
Rocket Launcher?"

Trunks held it up with a smile, "Don't I always?"

"Just checking"

The air-car pulled up to the crater with the alien pod
and the bleeding
body within...

"So, do you want the honours, or should I?" Trunks
asked as he jumped
out of the vehicle with a canister of gasoline,
hovering to just above
the pod and body before spilling it over the alien
craft and its former
occupant.

Goten shook his head, "Nah, I find it more satisfying
to watch."

"Eh, suit yourself", Trunks said as he lit a match and
tossed it
uncaringly onto the headless body...

*FWOOSH!!!!*

Trunks floated back into the air car and sat down in
the back seat as
Goten fired up the engine and began driving off...

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Though they had scored another victory, the two boys
knew deep in their
hearts that this wasn't the end... There would be more
Mary-Sues, each
more gruesomely horrid than the last... a seemingly
endless sea of
unholy mixes to come.

But despite this, they would continue fighting with
the hope that with
each victory they gain, they draw ever closer to
ending this new
horror... a horror that dwarfed even Majin-Buu.

Fight Trunks, Goten! With your determination...
Victory is inevitable!

- End -

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AUTHOR'S NOTES

Heh, this based on a fan comic I saw on Deviant-art a
few months back. I
felt a Fanfic version was in order... All up, this
took about ten
minutes to write.

And I doubt I'm the only one who feels Mary-Sue
authors should be dealt
in this fashion... ;)

Oh and if I made any mistakes in regards to the
weapons, please forgive me...
I know next to nothing about guns.

Anyway, hope you liked it!

- Quedorm

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