Chapter 9 Revenge and Rebirth Part 1

YAAAYYYY!!!

[Glad you're happy ^_^

	"And it was only five years ago that HR discovered the connection 

between 

those events," Jacob explained, using the abbreviation for Historical 
Research section. Willard International Consulting also had a Human 
Resources department. A commonality that caused more than some 

confusion. 

"Eventually, they managed to convince Command that the risk warranted 

this 

level of resources, and here we are."

That whole part about HR and HR seemed a little long winded and a little
 
more than unnecessary. Would consider revising. Maybe just having him 
say 
out the name or just leave out the part with Human Recources. Unless 
your 
planning to us that later, then just ignore me.

[Alright then ^_^

 	" 'Fire or Ice,' " Jacob responded giving the title. He suppressing 

a 

sigh. Stillwater was almost obsessed with that poem.

The poem is actually called 'Fire AND Ice' I believe.

[Gah!  You're right.  So very sorry.

***************

	Kasumi approached the dojo. Her mug was in her left hand and her right

rested just above her waist. It was natural for her to keep her free 

arm at 

the ready. The agent entered without knocking.
	Her eyes narrowed at the sight of her sister being attacked by the 
succubus' mate.

by 'her' succubus mate. Sounds better to me anyway.

[problem is that that becomes Kasumi's succubus' mate.

	"Good," Kasumi nodded. "Cute... spandex," the agent commented on the 
garments the brood was wearing. They were in  matching low-backed and 
sleeveless unitards that went to mid-thigh. Akane's was deep blue and 
white, Nariko's was black and violet, and Ranma's was dark purple and 

red.

	"Lycra actually," Akane said, pointing out the minor difference in the

materials. She had

Feh, whatever, same diff.

[Heh

	"Nabiki," a familiar voice behind the teenager stated. Nabiki's body 
jerked in surprise as she turned to see Kasumi standing behind her.
	"You're going to be asked questions tomorrow. I trust you'll not 

divulge 

anything sensitive?" the operations agent inquired in a friendly voice.

 A 

slight smile was on her face.

Nabiki: Only if the price is right.
Kasumi: Then I guess I'll have no choice but to shoot you till you bleed
 and 
die. Die and bleeed!

[Nabiki: ....
[Kasumi: It's better that I find you.   I'll just kill you.  Ranma however...

	After he finished showering he shut off the water and asked for a 

towel. 

Ranma expected one of his girls to toss one to him. Instead, Nariko 

slid 

open the door and handed him a towel.

Nariko slid open the 'door' and handed him
If it's a curtain, keep with curtain. If it's a door, keep with door.

[gah!  Again opps.

	Ranma blinked at his daughter. He should have seen this coming. 

Grabbing 

the towel he quickly wrapped it around his waist.
	"Something wrong Mommy?" Nariko asked, with some confusion. How could 

she 

have a problem with nudity? The brood slept in the nude and only wore 
clothing for convenience.
	"Oh, nothing" Ranma forced himself to either avert his gaze or keep it

centered on his girl's face.
	"Mommy's bashful." Nariko smiled to her mate.
	"Don't see why, Mother's very good looking in either form," Akane 

noted. 

The blue-haired demon looked over the human form of her mother and 
formulated a plan. Mother had sacrificed so much for them. It would be 

nice 

if she could show her appreciation.
"It's just that I'm male, like this and you're... Never mind." Ranma

Umm... I think the comma is in the wrong place. Not sure though.

walked to the sink. He was actually pretty happy. The girls were joking
about his male form and not cowering and whining for their Mommy. That
was a good sign.

[hmmm maybe

And yet after the shower finishes he is bashful and shy and doesn't 

want 

to

see/be seen by them as  a guy.

[that's because they couldn't see him in the shower stall behind the 
curtain.

Later we are also taught that the demons

Have no greater attraction to males than females, and Ranma is well 
aware of
this, so I'm not sure this works for me. unfortunately I cant think of a
suggestion.

[It's not that.  They're Ranma's kids they have no attraction to either

form.

Ranma's just more self conscious in demon form

Umm... not entirely positive but I think you meant 'human form'

[yup.  Man not so good

	"Umm, Red, I really don't need to see your butt in that much detail," 
Nabiki remarked dryly to Ranma as the brood mother walked into the 

kitchen.

Ramna: Aww, but it's so pretty. Isn't it girls?
Akane and Nariko: Yes mommy, scrumdiliuptious.
Ranma: Perfect, just like we rehearsed.

[Nabiki:  I think I'll be ill.
[Ranma: You're the one staring at my perfect butt.

	"Maybe we should eat lunch together," Usagi suggested. "We should get 

to 

know each other more."
	"We were planning on eating with Samantha and Naoko," Ranma said as 

the 

group of girls made their way to the cafeteria.

Ranma: We were planning on eating Samantha and.... Damn, um, I mean, Eat with them yes that's it! Eat WITH Samantha and Naoko. Hehehe.

[Rei: You sure these are "good" demons Meatball-head?

	"No," Akane said as she narrowed her eyes. "Remember what happened the

last time you hit on me?"
	"You hit right back," Stetson replied, thinking he sounded much cooler

than he really did.

William: (thinking) Oh yeah, I'm cool, I'm cool... wait a minute. Oh man, now she's gonna hit me! Damn.

[If he's lucky

	Usagi looked at Ranma. There was something she to know - there was 

also 

something Usagi should tell her. "Sunshine," Usagi said, using Ranma's 
alias. "Can we talk... in private?" the blonde asked, her eyes looking 

at 

the redhead.

Aren't those two the same thing? Her needing to know something and what 
Usagi wanted to tell her?

[errrr.... how's this
[[
There was something Usagi had to know - there was also something Usagi should tell her.
]]

	"The dream predicted Nariko," Usagi pointed out as the walked along 

one of 

the paths outside the school. The two girls were speaking in Japanese. 

It 

was a welcome change for Usagi who while understandable, did not enjoy 
English.

Suggest changing that line. Maybe, 'It was a welcome change for Usagi 
who 
understandably, did not enjoy English.' or maybe, 'It was a welcome 
change 
for Usagi who while could understand it, did not enjoy english.'

[You're right.  I'll make the change.

	"Not quite," Usagi answered, glaring at the demon. "Before... before 

he 

died, there was this evil queen. Long story short, she did something to

Mamoru that made our daughter start to fade in and out of existence. 

After 

we beat her, Setsuna did that to make sure my daughter wouldn't 

disappear 

again."

Now that would be an embarrasing conversation.
Setsuna: I need a sample of your seaman Mamaru.
Usagi and Mamaru: Wha wha what!?!?!?!

[That's one way it could have gone down.
[Another would be if Setsuna decided to get it the "fun" way ^_^

	Usagi looked over Janet. "You know, if you put on a lab-coat, you'd be

pretty close to your mom."
	Janet's face darkened. "No, I'm not."

Man, you'd think from that line she hated her foster mom. 

[Janet loves her mother.  She just has some issues.

What's up with her anyway? 

[Now that would be telling ^_^  Though there have been some hints.

I hope she has a more important role than just being Ami's new best friend. I'm sure she does.

[You're very right about that. And interesting note you made

      "What'd you think of your first day of school?" Ranma asked as 

he 

stirred his hot chocolate. He did not like coffee and the tea the cafe 
served was awful.
      "Could have been worse." Akane looked out one of the windows and

sighed. "I kinda wanted there to be more of an uproar. I mean, I come 

back 
>from being missing and more people comment more about my dye job than 
they 

do about me being a lesbian!"

Ranma: Well when I first met you I could tell right away that you were a lesbian. It's not that much of a suprise honey.

[Akane:  Mother! You jerk!  <Mallets Him>

	Akane nearly purred at the return of her bond with her mother. As nice

 as 

Mother's male form was, it was nothing compared to her true form. Akane

paused. No, Mother's human form is her true one. It's the one she was 

born 

with.

You know, that first line reminded me of something. We haven't seen much of the nekoken in the fic, or Ranma's fear of cat's for that matter. 

[It's a mater of time.  Given that the Inners have two.
[Ranma just hasn't been to their house.... yet

Do they just not run into them, or is he cured when in his succubus form, much like his bashfullness.

[Well... that would be telling. ^_^

	Once she was gone, Murdock returned to the bar and ordered a drink 

from 

the waitress who was covering for the... indisposed bartender. This bar

 was 

no Red Turtle, his preferred watering hole, but it would still get the 

job 

done.

You know, now that I think about it, that scene does have some Burger 
elements to it.

[Yup.  You really should write to him and tell him what you've thought though.

[For reference the dividing line is here

[[
	He slid into the booth and just as he got comfortable, a familiar female voice was heard from behind a partition. "Having fun again, I see."

<-Burger

Josh->
	"It's all part of my grand plan," Murdock assured as he straightened his silver tie clasp.
]]

	Ukyou paused and concentrated on her own powers. "Succubae?" the 

brunette 

asked,

No! It's succubusses. Yeah, I is right cause I is smart!

[Well some use Succubi 

	"Nari-chan, breakfast's ready," Ranma said after entering the dining 

room.

Ranma: Come get your people!
Nariko: Yay, my favorite! Human hearts!

[Errie...  but it's not /human/ hearts they'll eat.

	Nariko paused. She looked down at her dairy. "It helps me keep track 

of... 

things." Nariko sighed. It was hard for her to articulate her point. 

Even 

as a human, she had never been that mentally agile. That was why she 

had 

gotten the diary.

Nice way of saying ain't right in the head.

[Well...  Tatewaki wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.

	Ryoga looked back to check that Ukyou had a clear path to support him.

"You know what to do."

Ukyo: Kill anything that moves, steal anything that doesn't.
Ryouga: Got that right.



Alright fine no more comments, they're just plain stupid.
[No they're actually quite good.  You pointed out half a dozen corrections or so. ^_^


 Anyway, I didn't really see anything else that hadn't been covered.

[Cool.

[Thanks for commenting. I appreciate it greatly.
[It's a great help for showing me how things are going.

Truk
Who also holds with those who favor fire.

[~JT


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