"DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net> writes:
Literary Hell
A Read or Die! OVA shortfic
Excellent. ROD is a fun little series which doesn't have enough fics.
"None that I'm aware of. Mr. Joker instructed me to follow you and assist
you in any way I can. I hope it's for something of vital importance that
they could only trust me to do." Wendy blushed slightly at the idea of
YOMIKO: And me.
WENDY: Oh, yeah.
Wendy took a deep breath and nearly gagged. Where they were standing on the
library grounds was close to a taxi stand, and the whole area retained the
heady aroma associated with burning fossil fuels, grease, and other motor
related paraphernalia. "Perhaps we should go inside?"
Seems overly wordy.
As Yomiko and Wendy stopped to assess the situation, a man that had been
waiting nearby approached. At a glance, it was easy to tell he was very
different from the others. He was tall, well over six feet in height, but
very slender, though not to the point of gauntness. He appeared to be in his
early to mid-thirties, with a narrow face and pointy nose that was
reminiscent of a hunting bird. His gray trenchcoat and matching wide-brimmed
hat complimented the mood he was projecting: that of dourness.
You spend a lot of time on a character that, in the end, doesn't seem
to add anything to the fic, except one somewhat weak joke. Is this an
allusion to something? At any rate, I'd suggest basically stripping
him out. Have Wendy carry some orders, have Joker call them on
telephone, or something.
"Just more paperwork then." Wendy sighed. And she had gotten her hopes up
YOMIKO: Yeah, you'll be handling Paper all night long
WENDY: *blush*
Unlike Wendy, Yomiko didn't pull any of the books from the shelves. She
simply looked them over as she walked past. "I've read all of them, except
the very newest ones, but I'll be able to take care of that once I cash the
check for this job. I can't believe they're paying me to read all of this."
Wendy supposed it had been a silly question, knowing Yomiko and her tastes.
"Is there anything you don't like to read? Pornography magazines, perhaps?"
She snickered at the joke.
Hmm. That didn't all that Wendy-like to me, but I've only watched the
OVAs once.
[End Notes] Well, can you think of a book that could picture anything worse
than that for Yomiko? The girl just ain't right in the head when it comes to
books. ^_^ And I admit to taking liberties in her powers, and implying she
had the ability to control the paper to the degree that she could force the
ink to slide off it, but I thought it worked better that way, especially
with the symmetry with the dead body she mentions earlier and Wendy's
actions at the end matching Yomiko's comparison. Consider it literary
license.]
Nice ending. I was one of those fooled into thinking Necronomicon at
the beginning. So the ending came as a nice surprise (a little less
fantastic, a little real). And, yes, it doesn't make perfect sense,
but Yomiko Readman has some clearly irrational aspects to her.
I think the story got off to a rocky start; it wasn't really clear
where it was going for the first half. Once they actually get into the
library, though, it smoothed out quite a bit, and had some really
excellent passages. And, as I said, the ending has a nice subtlety to
it.
Hope this helps,