-----Original Message-----
From: ffml-bounce@anifics.com [mailto:ffml-bounce@anifics.com] On Behalf
Of Andrew Huang
Sent: Tuesday, August 31, 2004 8:51 PM
To: Raye Johnsen
Cc: ffml@anifics.com; rayeml@topica.com
Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fic][Naruto] Harmonia, part 1


	An excellent start so far; it's certainly caught my interest. I
do
have one small quibble...

On Mon, 30 Aug 2004, Raye Johnsen wrote:

	2. I have done my best to translate the Japanese
honourifics appropriately, but there is no really good
way to translate either '-chan' (because the English
equivalent(s) are either too intimate or too
condescending to cover all the usages) or '-kun'
(because it can mean either a person of equal rank, or
an extremely high-ranked person, higher than '-sama').
 Thus I have left them alone.

	So long as you are leaving -chan and -kun untranslated, I would
recommend that you leave -san intact as well. I laud your effort to cut
down on unnecessary Japanese usage in an English language fic, but for the
sake of consistency, I think it's acceptable to leave in -san, as it is a
bit jarring to see 'Miss Sakura' mixed in with a bunch of 'Hinata-chan'
and 'Sasuke-kun'. Also, this may simply be a personal preference, but it's
always felt strange to use 'Miss' or 'Mister' along with a first name in
English, while using -san is perfectly fine with a given name.

Either use honorifics consistently, or drop them and go for plain English
titles - remember that you don't always have to use the name. Sir, ma'am,
miss, mister, lord, lady, boss, dear etc can all be used on their own, and
are often good substitutes for a name-and-suffix combo. 

	Otherwise, I have nothing to recommend in the way of
improvement,
really. It's good to see the characters develop as they have after ten
years. And, of course, I'm horribly fond of Naruto and Hinata. :) Looking
forward to more.

Naruto the twenty-something hyperactive maniac - pussywhipped!

Andrew Huang...Shizumaru@KawaiiMUCK
http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang/
NAC MAC FEEGLE!

Oh, what I wouldn't give to see Rob Anybody,
Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock, William the
Gonnagle and their merry band of Pictsies show up in a crossover! (To the
list at large - if you don't recognize this, go pick up Terry Pratchett's
"The Wee Free Men" immediately! Look at the cover and you'll see why...)



SP



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