Here after a long delay, is chapter 4.  I hope you
enjoy it.  Once again, credit goes Rumiko Takashi,
Stan Lee, and a surprisingly large number of the good
folks at Marvel Comics for creating these characters,
whom I am ripping off shamelessly, and hoping my lack
of money, talent, and importence will protect me from
lawsuits.  And there are other creators I know I'm
forgetting but writing them all down would take all
day, so I'm just going honor them in the abstract. 
Thank you, my betters. 

Well, on with the show.  All criticisms are welcome,
even the ones that make me want to either explode your
head or curl up into a ball and whimper.  Those are
probably what keep my ego to a level that's only
slightly bigger than the San Andreas Fault.

-----
The life of an international criminal, Jigen thought 
meditatively, was comprised of a dash of glamour, 
and a great deal of unpleasantness. You got a lot 
of money in your hands, but it tended to flow 
through them pretty quickly. You saw lots of 
interesting places, usually with the law in hot 
pursuit. And for every solid friend you made, you 
met five times as many psychos, sadists, and 
all-around assholes. It almost made you wonder 
if it was worth it...

Jigen shook his head. This was ridiculous. He 
was a professional criminal, not a philosopher. 
It was idiotic for him to get moody and 
introspective just when he was starting a job.

He shook his head again. The job was what was 
making him moody and introspective. It just felt 
off. Jigen was an old hat in the criminal world and 
something about this one pushed all the wrong 
buttons. Maybe it was the prospect of working 
with 'a coterie of skilled individuals', as the letter

(from someone calling themselves 'C.C.') had put
 it�maybe it was the fact that they had sent a letter.

Jigen did his best to make sure he knew who could 
contact him, and when someone found him anyway�
it made him nervous. But, no�the truth was Jigen 
was in no mood to work with all the young blood 
that was flooding what he called 'the elite criminal 
circle'. Every young punk with a gimmick was giving 
himself a name, and declaring himself the biggest, 
baddest outlaw the world had ever seen. Most of 
them were incompetents and poseurs, who were just 
drawing attention to the entire business, especially 
from the swelling ranks of superheroes. 

Jigen grumbled. When he'd been starting out, you 
worked to earn your name�practicing your 
techniques, perfecting your skills, proving your 
worth until the underworld decided you were a 
cut above the rest. It didn't matter if you were a 
mutant with the ability to shoot heat rays from 
your eyes, or that a laboratory accident had 
given you the strength of a tiger and the durability 
of refined steel. You started out the same as everyone

else, and you proved that you were someone special. 
And men like him�Jigen gave a fond glimpse at his 
gauntlets�you worked, and worked with your tools, 
until you were sure they worked, and sure you could 
use them well, not rushing out the moment you had 
a half-working death ray...

Jigen sighed. He was getting old. No, scratch that. 
He was old. By all rights, he shouldn't have to do 
this job�but he had debts to pay, a laboratory to 
maintain, a retirement fund to fill... He nodded. He 
had to do this job. Even it felt off�even if he was 
too old, because in this business, the moment you 
stopped taking the jobs that were offered was the 
moment you started to disappear...

Jigen knocked on the door to the rather dilapidated 
building the letter had given as the location. "I'm 
here about the aluminum siding," he intoned in his 
gravelly voice.

A familiar face opened the door. "Lazeir, mon 
ami?"

Jigen started. The Grey Gargoyle was the last 
person he expected to see in Tokyo. Whoever 
this 'C.C.' was, he was fielding top talent.

"I prefer to go to by Jigen when not on the job..." 
he noted quietly.

"But of course!" announced the Grey Gargoyle, 
who Jigen knew for a fact did not like being called 
'Paul Pierre Duval'. "I ahm so 'appy to see you, 
mon ami. Eet's good to 'ave a man of quality 'ere." 
He gave a dismissive wave of the hand, as if 
clearing out a bad odor. "So many amateurs. 
Eet makes we weep."

Jigen frowned as he entered. Even if he agreed 
with Duval, he didn't admire his sharing that 
opinion�it was the sort of thing that could lead 
to bad feelings if the 'amateurs' he was so casually 
dismissing found about it. In Jigen's experience, 
criminals who didn't care about the feelings of their 
partners were not only difficult to work with, but 
dangerous to themselves and others as well. Duval 
definitely was proof of this�in fact Jigen was rather 
surprised that he now regarded Jigen as a friend, 
given how they'd parted last time, though if there was

one thing that the Grey Gargoyle had proved over the 
years, it was his unpredictability. Still, he was a 
powerful and skilled member of the trade, even if he 
was hard to work with.

"I think we should just twist off his head," muttered 
a dark voice. "Make things easier. Less shares." 
Jigen pivoted quickly, but calmly to see a hulking man

with wild hair standing nearby. The look on his face 
was unpleasant, to put it mildly.

"Now, now Hyde," said Duval in tones that did not 
sound too sincere. "You know the boss wouldn't 
like that..." Jigen blinked. He'd heard a great deal 
about Hyde�none of it good. He had immense 
strength, but was vicious, and completely
untrustworthy. 
'C.C.' was either very sure of himself, or very
stupid.

Hyde snarled. "Screw what he wants! I don't like 
the way the bastard looks!"

Jigen readied his laser gauntlets. He did so with the 
utmost calm. Calm was one of the first things Jigen 
had learned in the business. Calm kept you alive. 
Panic made you dead. If he had to fire, he was 
going to do so quickly and try to leave these people 
alive. He didn't want to kill a co-worker on the first

day, even if they did.

"Stand down, you two," came a clear female voice. 
Hyde and the Grey Gargoyle blinked, and backed 
quietly away from Jigen. He glanced over to see his 
deliverer� a rather tall, gorgeous woman, whose 
form brought to mind the word 'statuesque'. Her 
hair was a silver so fine, it seemed almost blue. Her 
face glanced over things with an expression that 
managed to suggest that its owner went through 
life amused by most things.

"Ahh! Mademoiselle Smith!" declared Duval 
nervously. "Hyde and I were merely 'aving a 
leettle fun with ze Lazeir. That ees all. Nothing 
was meant by eet."

"Well, that's good to know," said the young 
woman. "I thought things might have been getting 
serious. I'm glad I was mistaken." She turned to 
Jigen. "The Living Laser, I presume?"

Jigen gave an absent nod. "I prefer Jigen." He 
coughed. "Are you 'C.C.'?"

The woman gave a tinkling laugh. "Oh, no! I 
wish I had that honor�but no, he's this way..." 
She began to walk off, and gestured for Jigen 
to follow. 

Jigen hurried after her. "I'd like to thank you 
for the help, Miss Smith..."

"Don't mention it," she said merrily. "Those 
two are just pissed about having to serve 
guard duty. Any hint of authority and they 
buckle. And don't bother with 'Miss Smith'. 
That's just Duval trying to be clever." She 
turned to him, suddenly. Jigen became even 
more aware that she was a desperately attractive 
woman. "I'm the Machinesmith. I'm handling 
the tech around here."

Jigen nodded awkwardly, and watched her 
walk away for a short moment. *You're too 
old, Jigen. Remember?* He coughed idly. 
"So�I have to say that�the boss has an 
interesting taste in names..."

"The Masters of Evil?" The smile on 
Machinesmith's face took on a slightly 
sinister bent. " 'C.C' likes truth in advertising."

-----

Defending

Chapter 4�"The Evil Alive"

An "Avenging" Universe Spinoff

By David Dee

-----

"And so I think Son of Satan and I made 
short work of the slime worms of Salgoth," 
stated Kagome calmly.

"So, so slimy," whimpered Inu-Yasha.

Hikaru glanced at him, quietly. "Quite." He 
turned to Miroku. "And you? How'd that 
'intelligence reconnaissance' mission turn out...?"

Miroku gave a pleasant nod. "Very well. My 
sources suggest the death cult chapter we 
defeated two days ago was in fact a part of 
the cult of Kali, under the leadership of one 
Nekra, an albino with mysterious�some say 
mystical�powers. By all accounts, their recent 
defeat has thrown them into quite a bit disarray�
Nekra's gotten into the habit of making 'prophecies' 
and�well, having them not come true is bad for 
business..."

Hikaru nodded. "Well, on my part, I recovered the 
head of the Golden Monkey from the Smuggler, 
which means that the Giant Monkey of Doom will 
not be honoring us with his presence."

Kagome glanced side to side. "So�wasn't that 
all the major threats you'd detected?"

Hikaru nodded. "Yes. We have cleared the 
Apocalypse Board for the next few days. Then, 
on Wednesday, the Erbs of Erewhon invade."

"Didn't we already defeat them?" asked Miroku, 
suspiciously.

Hikaru shrugged. "They've decided to make another 
go of it. Can't fault them for their persistence." He 
sipped his coffee. "But, till then, barring any
unforeseen 
attempts by lunatic cults to do something crazy�we're 
fine."

Kagome laughed. "All right! We officially rock!"

Hikaru sighed. "Quite." 

"Ahem�sir...?"

Hikaru glanced over at the waitress. "Why, yes�I 
would like a coffee refill!" He smiled forcefully. 
"How kind of you to notice..."

The waitress coughed. "Actually, sir�some of the 
other patrons are�nervous�about eating�with 
super-powered individuals..."

"Of course." Hikaru rolled his eyes. While eating
 in costume had its advantages�these days, very 
few people tried to pick fights with him�it did tend 
to attract notice. "And do the long hours my 
compatriots and I spend fighting the powers of 
evil mean nothing?"

The waitress fidgeted nervously. "Well, of course
not..."

"And I suppose police officers also get this
treatment. 
And firefighters. And meter maids..."

The waitress glanced guiltily away. "Look, it's not
me..."

"It's some of the patrons," said Hikaru. "Well, just 
relax. You can tell them we'll be out of here as soon 
as we finish our coffee�" The waitress looked quite 
relieved. "And I get the cheesecake I ordered."

"You didn't order any�"

"Of course, I did," said Hikaru calmly. "You might 
have not heard me, but I did."

The waitress grumbled. "Right. Cheesecake. I'll go 
get it..." She began to head away, and then glanced 
at him. "You have to tell me�do I know you? You 
know�when you're not dressed up in gaudy outfits 
fighting crime?"

"Review that question, and you'll see why I'm not 
answering it..." said Hikaru.

The waitress frowned, and walked back to the 
counter. "You really like this caf�," noted Kagome.

"I'm a man of habits," replied Hikaru. Inu-Yasha 
winced. Hikaru's method of eating cheesecake 
counted as one of those�habits. First he cut the 
cheesecake into small squares, which he then cut 
into smaller squares, which he would then eat one 
by one, chewing each one in slow manner.

It was probably the most nerve-wracking thing 
Inu-Yasha had seen.

Kagome shook her head. "It's hard to believe the 
world's really been invaded so often..."

"That's because it wasn't always the case," replied 
Hikaru.

"Really?" asked Kagome. "What happened?"

Hikaru thought it over briefly. "Well, it will
probably 
prove handy some day..." He cleared his throat. "Now, 
what I'm about to tell you may sound impossible�
but I assure you it is not. I should also add that is 
largely a theory, being difficult to confirm, and 
constructed out of some very educated guesswork."

Inu-Yasha frowned. "Are ya goin' to get around to 
tellin' us eventually?"

Hikaru glanced at him irritatedly. "Right." He 
raised his left hand. "Imagine, if you will, that 
the universe is a bubble..." A glowing green 
bubble appeared floating in Hikaru's hand. 
"Our world�indeed all of our conventional 
existence�is contained within this bubble." 
A slightly grim look came over Hikaru's 
face. "But this bubble is hardly the totality 
of existence. It is merely one enclosed facet, 
nestling�in a stream. Normally, the surface 
of the bubble does a good job of keeping 
what's in the stream out of the bubble�but 
sometimes, thin spots form. When this happens�
things get in. The bigger the thin spot, the 
more things�or the more powerful things�
can get in. And inside help only makes it 
easier..." Hikaru shut his eyes.

"So," said Miroku, "we're living on a thin spot..."

"I wish it were that easy..." said Hikaru. 
He raised his right hand. "You see, ours 
isn't the only bubble. There are others, 
which�well, to mix metaphors, are set 
to different wavelengths..." He shook his 
head. "Universes have so many attributes 
that it can be�difficult to come up with 
an all-purpose analogy." He brought the 
bubbles towards each other. "Each bubble 
follows its own timeline. While the majority 
of them are completely different from each 
other, each bubble has a surprisingly large 
number of�siblings, perhaps? Bubbles that 
have a great deal of resemblance. Close 
enough�" He smashed the two bubbles 
together. "That if brought together, they 
won't automatically cancel each other out." A 
large bubble nested in the palms of Hikaru's 
hands, vibrating rather wildly.

"W-wait," said Kagome. "Are you saying our 
universe�is actually�two universes?"

"Probably more than that," said Hikaru 
dispassionately. "These things rarely work 
out as smoothly as one would like them to." 
He laughed slightly. "Of course, that's only 
objectively. From our subjective point of 
view, this has always been one universe, with 
one consistent timeline. It has to be, or the 
resulting paradox would be too great for the 
universe to bear." He sighed. "Mind you, the 
timelines had to make massive adjustments to 
accomplish this�after all, given the probable 
similarity of the two universes, there were most 
likely over 12 billion people to deal with." He 
stroked his chin. "Of course most were simply 
alternate versions of the same person, who 
combined easily, but in some cases, lives were 
altered, or even ceased, so that roles could be 
placed where necessary..."

"What?" said Inu-Yasha.

"Did you know there was an American 
neurosurgeon, a Doctor Steven Strange, 
who died in a car crash?" said Hikaru quietly.

There was utter silence at the table for a 
moment. "Y-you're joking," said Kagome. 
"And even if you aren't�you�you can't 
be sure that�"

"That I'm living the life that was originally 
his? No, but it seems probable." Hikaru 
shook his head. "Not that it matters. There 
are forces here beyond comprehension at 
work here. Steven may have been a better 
Dr. Strange than I am�I mean, it was 
his NAME�but I was the one the universe 
decided was necessary for this situation..." 
He leaned forward slightly.

"You know, a person could feel honored 
to be chosen thus..." noted Miroku.

"Or feel that they were under a crushing, 
horrific amount of pressure," said Hikaru, 
sitting up again. "Take your pick. I know 
I have." He glanced at the bubble. "Now, 
all these adjustments�are putting a great 
deal of strain on the universe. Thin spots 
are forming with great rapidity and most 
of them are happening here, at the center 
of manipulation." He shook his head. 
"And it's not just the fluctuations in the 
space-time walls. People from�the 
discarded pasts and futures of the old 
universes are showing up here as well. 
The poor bastards." He looked at the 
others. "Their entire lives are almost 
completely different�and they have no 
idea�at best only a niggling suspicion..." 
He took a deep breath. "The philosophical 
implications are naturally, quite troubling..." 
The waitress walked over to their table. 
"Ahh!" said Hikaru cheerfully. "My 
cheesecake!"

As Hikaru began to immerse himself in 
the sweet, cheesy goodness, Miroku 
glanced at him. "You mentioned 
'manipulation'." He leaned forward. 
"Are you suggesting this was�
intentional?"

Hikaru paused from slicing his 
cheesecake. "Universes don't combine 
on accident. It's somewhat against 
their nature. Besides look at this place�
this sudden boom in superheroes, and 
villains�all centered in Tokyo. It reeks 
of contrivance. Someone made the 
original change here�involving 
superheroes�and we're all living in 
the aftershocks."

"But who?" asked Kagome.

"How should I know?" said Hikaru. 
"Probably one of the usual batch of loonies�
I doubt that facet of existence was too 
different..." A troubled expression came 
over his face. "Actually, he's probably not 
the same person he was when he altered the 
timeline. In fact, two people may have done 
it simultaneously, and unknowingly combined." 
Hikaru's voice trailed off, as his eyes took on 
a faraway look.

"Yeah, well," said Inu-Yasha, "Interestin' as all 
this is, I don't want to talk about it anymore." 
He groaned. "It's makin' my head hurt."

"Believe me," said Hikaru dismally, " you are 
just scratching the surface of the scary, scary 
things I know..." He lifted his fork to his mouth, 
and began to slowly chew on his cheesecake.

-----

The room was typical�a table, some chairs, 
and a few monitors. Not a thing in it looked 
like it couldn't be packed up and moved on 
short notice. That impressed him quietly�
it was rare to see 'criminal masterminds' 
who realized that mobility was better than 
reinforcement. Jigen had seen a great deal 
of money blown over the years on "impenetrable" 
fortresses that almost invariably turned out to 
be penetrable after all.

Finished with the room, Jigen glanced over 
his 'partners' for this job.

Aside from Duval and Hyde, (still watching 
the door) they seemed to be a man dressed 
up as a butterfly, an extremely muscular young 
woman wearing a red halter top, a grey 
choker and a black skirt and leggings, and 
of course, Machinesmith.

He'd worked with worse crowds.

The man in the butterfly costume fidgeted 
nervously again. He'd done that constantly, 
eyes glancing over the corners, the ceiling, 
the floor, the table. At first, Jigen had thought 
that he was paranoid and on guard, but then 
he realized the truth�he was staring at the dirt. 
This particular 'Master of Evil' was a neat freak.

The brawny woman flexed her arm. Jigen, 
despite himself, shook his head. The sheer 
amount of muscle on her frame seemed 
almost unnatural, especially when contrasted 
with her sweet, almost cherubic face. This 
woman looked like she could go toe to toe 
with Hyde and win. Jigen scowled. He was 
starting to mentally pit his teammates against 
each other. That was a bad sign. 

Noticing his gaze, the girl snarled. Jigen calmly 
looked away. He'd have to watch himself with 
that one. Strength apparently wasn't the only 
thing she rivaled Mr. Hyde in.

That just left Machinesmith. He smiled at her. 
She smiled back. Cool, elegant�exactly his 
sort. But also, enigmatic, cunning�exactly 
the sort he avoided.

"So, this is the place," came a brash, arrogant 
voice. Jigen turned. A young woman clad in 
what looked like a pale white skintight outfit 
entered, another young woman in a frilly dress 
trailing behind her, who glanced timidly at the 
gathering. "Quite dingy." She shook her head. 
"Well, we have arrived. I am Slyde and this is 
my potent partner, Whirlwind."

"I thought you said I could be the Human Top!" 
said the more timid girl.

"We discussed this," said Slyde, "and we decided 
that "Human Top" lacked dignity..."

"No we didn't!" said Whirlwind.

"Whirlwind�do you want our inferiors to laugh 
at us?"

The man in the butterfly suit stood up suddenly. 
"Inferiors! Listen, you tiny-brained harlot, I am a 
Tokyo University graduate, and a mutant! Your 
genetic superior in every way! In a perfect world, 
I would have the right to grind your filthy bodies 
into powder, and use it to fertilize my lawn, but 
unfortunately, Utopia is still denied to us."

Jigen blinked. He may have been seriously 
underestimating the extent of this man's�
quirkiness.

"My brother and I are also mutants," declared 
Slyde, "so your claims of genetic superiority 
are clearly insane. In fact, I strongly doubt you 
can rival the perfection of grace and form that 
are Slyde and Whirlwind, Butterfly Man..."

"Gypsy Moth," stated the man, tersely.
 "I'm Gypsy Moth. I've been robbing silk 
shipments for the last five weeks!"

"Brother?" said the muscular woman.

"It's a long story," muttered Whirlwind. "Let's 
just say sis and I have issues with our mother."

"That's you, Anna," said Slyde. "I'm just fine."

"Calling yourself 'Slyde' is just fine...?" muttered 
Whirlwind.

"Listen kids," muttered Gypsy Moth. "Why 
don't you to go iron out your issues, and 
then come back when you're ready? Or I 
might just shut you up myself..."

Slyde took a combat position. "You think 
you're ready for the Master of Friction. 
Then bring it on..."

"BOTH OF YOU MORONS SHUT UP 
NOW!" screamed the muscular woman 
suddenly. She coughed, and began again 
in a calm, quiet voice. "This is getting really 
annoying. I think everyone would prefer it 
if you kept quiet."

Gypsy Moth glared at her. "And why 
should we listen to you, 'Chesty'?"

"Heh. Good one," chuckled Slyde.

In reply to those comments, she smashed 
a large hole into the floor with her bare fist. 
"Listen, you sexist bastards, there's a reason 
they call me 'Man-Killer'. So watch it, or I'll 
rip you new ones!" She turned to Gypsy Moth. 
"Especially you! You remind me of someone 
I knew..."

"Who's that?" said Gypsy Moth, calmly.

"A guy I'm planning to rip the limbs off of," 
said Man-Killer.

Gypsy Moth, to his credit, did not immediately 
back down. "Lady, I can already see that I will 
hate you, and want to destroy you, even more 
then those two over there, so if you want to see 
how vicious I can be, try me."

"Oh, you're just begging for this," snarled 
Man-Killer.

Jigen stood up. "All right, everyone, cool down..."

Gypsy Moth glared at him. "Why should we 
listen to you? I don't recall you being in charge."

"First, because I'm the Living Laser." He stared 
at the group calmly. "I know every damn one of 
you has heard of me, and what I can do." He 
smiled. "Trust me�it's all true." The others stared 
at him, visibly nervous. "The second reason," he 
continued, "is that while I'm not in charge, I'm 
pretty sure our employer wouldn't like this behavior."

"And you'd be right," said a cheerful voice behind 
the group.

Jigen, as he turned to look at the voice's owner, 
stifled the internal voice saying that a person 
couldn't move that quietly�he knew from 
experience they could. Instead, he tried to figure 
out what made the man so... impressive. It 
wasn't his height�that seemed about average. 
It wasn't his costume even though that was 
quite good in a minimalist sort of way; a red 
cowl and cloak that concealed most of the 
owner's body. Rather it was the sense of 
poise and confidence he gave off. Jigen had 
know plenty of people who had one or the 
other, but none who had both to this extent. 
The man stepped forward. "Greetings, and 
salutations. I'm the Crimson Cowl." He 
glanced around, a slight hint of his eyes 
glimmering in the shadows of his cloak. 
"I suppose you're wondering why I called 
you all here..."

"To commit a crime?" asked Whirlwind 
innocently.

The Crimson Cowl glanced at 'her' severely 
for a moment, causing the young supervillain 
to gulp, then began to laugh. "Yes," he said, 
chuckling. "That's it exactly. To commit a 
crime." Shaking his head in amusement, he 
took a seat at the table, and folded his hands. 
"Machinesmith, go inform Mr. Hyde and the 
Grey Gargoyle that the meeting's about to 
begin..."

Machinesmith nodded. "Immediately, sir," 
she said in a tone that dashed whatever 
hopes Jigen was forming regarding her.

"That won't be necessary," said a deadpan 
voice. Everyone in the room glanced at the 
entrance.

A young man stood there, with disheveled 
brown hair, clad in a white Pierot costume, 
white clown make-up covering the left side 
of his face. "Good evening," he said in a 
dull monotone. "I'm here to join this group."

The Crimson Cowl inclined his head back, 
somewhat threateningly. "And who are you, 
that I would want you to join, especially in 
light of the fact that I have a full roster?"

"I have no name, only aliases," replied the 
young man in that calm, dead tone. "I was 
going by the Clown, but that name's grown 
rather tiresome, so now I'm going by 
'Oddball'."

Gypsy Moth stared at him in obvious 
distaste. "Oddball?"

The young man shrugged. "It's not much, 
but it's all I have."

The Crimson Cowl stared at him, remaining 
utterly motionless. "And what do you do, 
Monsieur Oddball?"

Oddball gave a low bow. "I juggle." He pulled 
out a group of brightly colored balls, and 
began to do just that. "I juggle very well." 
He smiled, raised his left leg, and began to 
pass the spheres under it, catching them 
easily on the other side.

"And why do I need a juggler?" said the 
Crimson Cowl, rather impatiently.

Oddball was now forming a figure eight 
in the air. "To make you laugh," he replied, 
in his continuous drone. "I assure you, I'm 
up to the job." The first set of balls vanished 
in his sleeves, to be replaced suddenly by 
new ones. "I'm clever." 'E' '=' 'M' 'C2' 
spelled out the orbs before following the 
first set into the confines of the juggler's 
outfit. Light bulbs took their place. "I'm 
inventive." The light bulbs began to shine. 

"Cool!" cried Whirlwind.

Oddball gave a silent bow and tossed one 
to the young gender ambivalent supervillain, 
who giggled merrily. The rest of the light 
bulbs went the way of the earlier spheres. 
"And I'm deadly," finished Oddball, producing 
two large, oddly shaped globes which after a 
few passes, he tossed down on the table in 
front of the Cowl.

They were the heads of Duval and Hyde.

Whirlwind whimpered, and tossed 'her' light 
bulb away.

Oddball bowed.

There was dead silence for a long time.

Finally, the Crimson Cowl stood up and spoke. 
"Tell me, my poor, perfidious Pagliacci, what 
does this prove?"

"First my skill," said Oddball, calmly. "Second, 
that you have two vacancies." He gave a slight 
bow. "If you must know, I did you a favor. 
Calvin Zabo was a psychopathic monstrosity 
that turned on his allies more often than not."

"And Grey Gargoyle?" asked the Crimson Cowl.

"He was French," answered Oddball matter-of-factly.

The Crimson Cowl considered that for a moment, 
then glanced at Oddball sympathetically. "Listen, 
juggler, you have to understand my position. You 
kill two of my men�then you ask to join my 
organization." He spread his arms imploringly. 
"You do see I am in a quandary."

Oddball nodded. "You're facing two options in 
dealing with me. You can hire me�you're short 
two members, and I'm clearly quite good. Or you 
can kill me�I'm the reason you're short two 
members, and you don't know if you can trust 
me..."

The Crimson Cowl was staring at him, intrigued. 
"And what would you do?"

"I'd kill me," said Oddball, calmly. "Trust is a 
great deal rarer than skill."

The Crimson Cowl continued to stare for a while�
and then for the second time that night, began to 
laugh. " 'Trust is�" He shook his head. "How 
very true." He gestured to a seat. "Sit. The Masters 
of Evil are honored by your presence." He began 
to pace around the table. "After all, you did say 
you'd make me laugh." The Crimson Cowl turned 
quickly. "I like people who keep their promises."

Gypsy Moth frowned and stared at the juggler. 
"You expect us to work with this�street performer 
who just killed two of our associates?"

"Yes," replied the Crimson Cowl. "Now, does 
that answer your question, or do I have to 
draw a diagram?"

"But�I mean..." Man-Killer blinked. "Look, 
I didn't like the guys, but�they were us." She 
glanced around the table, anxiously.

"The first thing you learn in this business," said 
Jigen suddenly, "is that there is no 'us'." He 
glanced over the table authoritatively. "There 
are partnerships, and they get dissolved. That's 
it."

"Admirably spoken Laser," said the Crimson Cowl.

Jigen regarded him coldly. "So what's the plan? 
You did say you were going to tell us before we�
were distracted."

"Of course." The Crimson Cowl turned. 
"Machinesmith�start the display." The wall 
behind him lit up with building schematics. 
"Now then, it's a bit risky, but so are all 
great endeavors..."

-----

Hikaru was halfway through his cheesecake 
when Kagome coughed. Hikaru glanced at her. 
He had a sneaking suspicion what was coming 
next. Kagome smiled. "So, Doctor, about the te�"

Hikaru quietly dropped his fork. Suspicion 
confirmed. "For the last time, Kagome, we 
are not a team, and we do not need a name." 

"We are too a team!" said Kagome passionately. 
"I mean�this is superheroic law! Surely you've 
read enough manga to�"

"Actually, I don't read manga at all," said Hikaru, 
picking up his fork again. "I'm usually too busy 
with literature."

"You don't read manga?" said Kagome in the 
shocked tones that are usually reserved for people 
confessing to multiple axe murders. "B-but 
everyone reads manga! It is our national treasure! 
Can you name anything that screams Japan like 
'manga'?"

Hikaru tapped his fork idly. "Let's see�brush 
painting. Haiku. Noh and Kabuki drama. Katanas. 
Sushi. Samurai movies..."

Kagome gave a frustrated sigh. "All right, I get 
your point..."

"Shintoism. Zen Buddhism. Mishima novels. 
Hordes of salarymen. Karaoke. Attempting to 
seize large portions of Asia." He shrugged. 
"Of course it's been a while since that last one, 
but I say just give it time. Cosplaying. Sumo 
wrestling. A belief in quack medicine...."

Kagome waved her hand in desperation. 
"All right! All right! Forget that! The point 
is there are rules of superheroic teamings. 
Two is a duo, or partnership, three is a team-up, 
and four or more is a team." She waved her 
finger in a disciplinary manner. "These things 
are unalterable laws."

Hikaru, unconcerned with Kagome's existential 
crisis, was casually restarting his cheesecake. 
"Is now a good time to mention that I'm an
anarchist...?"

Kagome whimpered. "Could you at least 
listen to my idea for a name? Please?"

Hikaru stared at her. "If I do, will you let 
me eat my cheesecake in peace?"

"Umm, sure," said Kagome. She composed 
herself, coughed, then glanced at Hikaru. 
"Are you ready?"

"I wait with bated breath."

"Huh?"

Hikaru rubbed his temples. "Yes, I'm ready."

"Okay!" A look of manic glee spread over 
Kagome's face. "It will just knock you out�
it's so perfect!" She took a deep breath. 
"We are... THE ALL-WINNERS' SQUAD!"

Hikaru stared at her, cynicism and disbelief 
making a noble attempt not to show on his 
features. "Well?" asked Kagome, eagerly. 
"What do you think?"

"Kagome," Hikaru began awkwardly, 
"understand that I've developed a certain 
respect for... your abilities at... superheroing, 
and... so forth, and so understand that I mean 
this in the best possible way, without any real 
insult intended..." He took a deep breath. 
"Absolutely not."

"B-but it's�upbeat!" said Kagome amazed. 
"It's catchy!"

"Precisely," seethed Hikaru. He shook his 
head. "It sounds like something that sells 
toothpaste."

Kagome pouted. "Well, let's see you do 
better."

"Why?" asked Hikaru, restarting his 
cheesecake. "I'm opposed to the whole 
'team/name' paradigm." Kagome glanced 
away, as Hikaru downed a couple more 
pieces. Finally, he glanced at the others. 
"That said, there is another bit of business 
for us to discuss." He put down his fork, 
and crossed his hands on the table in front 
of him. "Our dining expenses."

Kagome, Inu-Yasha and Miroku all started 
at that. "Dining�expenses..." said Miroku 
uncomfortably.

"We've eaten out five times in the last three 
days, and every damn time I've wound up 
footing the bill. Well, the Gosunkugi gravy 
train is making its last stop, and..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" came the maniacal 
laughter. "Behold commoners! You are honored 
to witness the phoenix-like rebirth of Tokyo's 
greatest criminal! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Hikaru collapsed forward, and began to rub his 
forehead. "Kagome�Inu-Yasha�please tell me�
did a young man, dressed in purple spandex, with 
red gloves and boots, holding a large clunky gun 
just enter the caf�?"

"Yep," said Kagome.

"Only thing you missed is this golden belt and�
suspender type things..." added Inu-Yasha.

Hikaru wearily turned to face the horror of 
Tokyo's most... special criminal mastermind, 
Katsuhiko Jinnai, or as he preferred to be 
called...

"Pile-on Pete," noted Hikaru, dully. "So we meet 
again. In exactly the same place..." He began to 
rub his temples. "You�really have problems 
with the whole�criminal mastermind thing, 
don't you?"

"First, that's Pastepot Pete," said Jinnai. "Secondly 
that is no longer my name."

"But Poopdeck Pete," said Hikaru sadly, "Why 
mess with such a working formula?"

"That's Pastepot! Pastepot Pete!"

"Umm�Dr. Strange?" asked Kagome. "What 
can�Pete do?"

"Shoot paste," said Hikaru. "Pasta Pete is not 
exactly a top-rung supervillain..."

"STOP SLANDERING ME! AND I'M 
PASTEPOT PETE!"

"Sorry Placemat Pete."

"PASTEPOT PETE!" screamed Jinnai. 
"CAN YOU JUST�SAY IT RIGHT?"

"Sure. Papaya Pete."

"PASTEPOT!" cried Jinnai. He leveled his 
paste pistol at Hikaru's head. "Say it properly, 
damn you, SAY IT!"

"Big Boy Bob," answered Hikaru calmly.

Jinnai blinked miserably. "You're doing this 
intentionally aren't you?"

Hikaru smiled. "Might be."

Jinnai gave a long, inarticulate howl, then 
shook his head. "Well, it doesn't matter! 
I am no longer Pas�who I was! I am 
now the Trapster!" He gave a satisfied 
glance in Hikaru's direction.

Hikaru had sat back down and was 
eating his cheesecake again. "Hey!" 
yelled Jinnai. "I've just redefined 
myself as a new source of evil! It's 
impressive!"

Hikaru glanced at him and shrugged. 
"Well, I have to say Tripster..."

"Trapster!"

"Troopster..."

"Trapster! It's Trapster!"

"Dropsy."

"TRAPSTER! CAN'T YOU SAY 
'TRAPSTER?"

"Nummymuffin-coocol Butter."

Jinnai swallowed a shout, and stared 
at Hikaru bleakly. "You're doing it 
again, aren't you? Messing with my 
head again..."

Hikaru finished a bite of cheesecake 
and chuckled. "Well, you can be taught."

Jinnai sputtered in rage. "YES, AND 
THE THINGS I'VE LEARNT SHALL 
DESTROY YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" 
He pulled a golden cylinder off his newly 
added belt. "This is my new ultimate 
weapon�the GLUE GRENADE!"

Hikaru gave him a distracted glance 
and nodded. "Let me guess�blows up 
and covers the area in glue."

"A VERY�!"

"�Sticky glue. Right." Hikaru sighed. 
"So your ultimate weapon is just like 
your normal weapon, only less accurate, 
and with a shorter range."

Jinnai fidgeted. "Umm�right." On 
reflection that did sound wrong...

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Hikaru.

"Oh, just shut up!" cried Jinnai. "I've got 
other new weapons." He gestured at his 
boots. "Such as my new GLUE GALOSHES! 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"You really should cut down on the 
alliteration," noted Hikaru. "It really 
detracts from your already negligible 
menace."

"Ah, but with these, I can climb up walls!" 
Jinnai pressed down on his heels. "I simply 
press the built-in button, and the sole of 
my boots are covered with glue, allowing 
me to climb up walls like so..." Jinnai tried 
to take a step forward. 

His feet refused to do this, remaining stuck 
firmly to the floor.

Jinnai stared down in disbelief. "AGAIN? I 
thought I'd taken care of that!" He began to 
struggle out of his boots, a difficult proposition 
as he could barely move his feet.

Hikaru glanced at his companions. "I present 
to you the MS Windows of supervillains. Each 
upgrade succeeds only in making him slower, 
less efficient and more annoying."

Jinnai, finally out of his left boot, glanced at 
him. "Look, I admit my new weaponry is not 
panning out as expected, but that wasn't the 
only thing I came up with in prison..."

"You were in prison?" asked Hikaru.

Jinnai glanced around furtively. "Umm�yes."

"That's odd. It's been barely over a week 
since I beat you."

Jinnai gulped. In actual truth his charges had 
been reduced down from 'attempted robbery 
with a deadly weapon' to 'disturbing the peace' 
when it was pointed out that he wasn't carrying 
a deadly weapon, and that it couldn't be 
proved he was trying to rob someone. What's 
more, the police commissioner had been willing 
to drop even those negligible charges if Jinnai 
promised to mow his lawn on Tuesdays. 

Somehow, Jinnai didn't think that would help 
his reputation as a menacing force of evil. 
"Well, I was in prison!" he stated angrily. 
"And I escaped! And�"

A blonde stuck her head in the caf�. "Hey, 
Lord Trapster! Can we come in now? Lord 
Wizard is getting bored, and Medusa-chan 
seems to be turning blue again, which is never 
a good sign..."

"In a minute!" snapped Jinnai. "I'm still setting 
you guys up." 

The blonde nodded. "Right." She ducked 
back out.

Jinnai turned back to the rest of the caf� 
patrons. "I have gained allies! Three of the 
worst criminal geniuses the world has ever 
seen!"

"Seems fitting," noted Hikaru. "Wouldn't 
want you to be out of your league..."

"Shut up!" said Jinnai. "Alone we are 
formidable�together we are unbeatable! 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, prepare 
to meet your doom, Dr. Strange�" Jinnai 
glanced over the rest of group as if seeing 
them for the first time. "�and associates, 
in the form of my deadly ALLIES�" He 
gestured to the door.

There was a rather long interval of nothing 
happening.

Jinnai walked over to the door and opened 
it. "Guys! I just set you up!"

"Oh!" came the blonde's reply. "I thought 
you still were doing it..."

"No," corrected Jinnai. "I'd just gotten to the 
part where you guys are supposed to burst 
through the door, cackling evilly."

"Ooh, gotchya!" 

"So we're on the same wavelength here?"

"Yep."

"Great. So, I'll do that next bit again, and you 
come in. Am I understood?"

"Loud and clear, yo!"

"Wonderful." Jinnai stepped back, and closed 
the door. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, prepare 
to meet your doom Dr. Strange and associates, 
in the form of my deadly ALLIES�" He gestured 
to the door again.

There was another rather long interval of nothing 
happening.

Jinnai walked to the door, and opened it. "I thought 
we were clear on this!"

The blonde ducked her head back in. "Sorry. My 
little brain cells got confused..."

"Look, how about you just come in, and we act 
like you came in on cue?" asked Jinnai desperately.

The blonde ducked back out. There was the sound 
of a whispered discussion, followed by the blonde 
poking her head back in. "Yeah, that's cool." She 
walked in followed by two more individuals. Seen
 in full, the blonde was revealed to be wearing a 
green bodysuit with a lightning bolt on it. The 
other two members of Jinnai's gang of supervillains 
were a young woman with long black hair, and 
a rather pale complexion, wearing a tight red outfit, 
and a man in his late twenties with pale white hair, 
wearing heavy white robes, and pince nez sunglasses. 
They walked casually into the caf� and glanced 
around. "Umm, Lord Trapster?" asked the blonde. 
"These people don't seem to be cowering in terror."

"That's because we aren't laughing maniacally," 
said Jinnai.

"Oh, right," said the blonde. The pair began to 
laugh in unison.

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Tremble, yes, 
tremble before our might!" declared Jinnai.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the 
blonde. "Like the big fish in the koi pond, 
it will devour you�assuming you to be a 
smaller fish in the pond, which is the only 
way the analogy makes sense, because 
even very big koi don't eat people, believe 
me, I've tried to make them, and it didn't�"

Jinnai shook his head at her pointedly. 
"I think they get the point."

"Oh, right." She glanced at him, uncertain. 
"Do we do the introduction thing now?"

Jinnai nodded. "It seems appropriate."

"All right!" She immediately struck a dramatic 
pose. "Prepare to be amazed, ignorant masses 
by...!"

"Umm, senior..." whispered the brunette in 
a delicate voice. "Medusa does not wish to 
be a burden, but she is feeling slightly faint, 
and thus perhaps should go first..."

"Ahh, Medusa, I�" began the blonde. She 
turned to the apparent 'Medusa'. 
"Medusa-chan! You're bleeding!"

Medusa wiped a thin stream of blood away 
from the corner of her mouth. "It is nothing 
senior. -coughcoughcough- Just a slight 
case -coughcoughcough- of internal 
hemorrhaging." With that sentence out of 
the way, Medusa saw fit to give into the 
urge to cough some more.

"Umm, maybe you should go first..." said 
the blonde taking a step back.

"Thank you, senior. You are so thoughtful." 
Medusa stepped forward, and smiled gently 
at the caf� patrons. "Good day, people. I 
am Madame Medusa. With my powers of 
-coughcoughcough- follicle manipulation, 
I will take great pleasure in destroying your 
lives, and ruining all that you possess," she 
said sweetly. "Do not hope to�" At that 
moment she had a coughing fit of such 
magnitude that she began to lose balance. 
Jinnai and the blonde rushed to her side, 
and held her up. "Thank you senior�Lord 
Trapster�Medusa is honored that you so 
value her health..."

"Would you just finish your spiel?" implored 
Jinnai.

"Sorry, sir." She weakly shook her head. "I will 
continue. Do not hope for mercy at my hands�
I possess�I possess�" With that she gave a 
gasp and fainted.

Jinnai and the blonde carried her over to a chair, 
and sat her down.

"Follicle manipulation?" said Miroku, puzzled.

"She can physically control her hair," stated Jinnai, 
fanning air towards the unconscious Medusa. "It's 
more useful than it sounds."

"Right! Medusa-chan is one tough honey!" shouted 
the blonde. "At least, when she isn't passing out 
due to exhaustion, and her various ailments, and 
well, I'm not sure, but I suspect drugs are involved. 
The thing is her hair is so strong, you could bungee 
jump with it, though you probably wouldn't want to 
do that, in fact you guys really don't see like the 
bungee type, which I totally understand, because 
hurtling towards the ground never struck me as all 
that fun, the few times I did it, though I suppose 
if you like it, there's no accounting for taste..."

Jinnai glanced at her. "It's your turn."

"Whuh?" she exclaimed, startled. "Oh, right. 
Right on!" She turned to the crowd, an electric 
discharge pulsing from her. "Greetings ignorant 
masses! I'm the blonde bombshell with a shocking 
personality�sorry about the puns, they were Lord 
Trapster's idea, and I think they're a little silly�"

"Finish it up," said Jinnai sourly.

"Electra�no that's Greek�Exceltro�
not that's not it�Electrocel�no, no, no..."

"Excel?" said Jinnai in a tired voice.

"Yes, Lord Trapster?"

"Just stick to your old codename."

"Oh. Okay. EXCEL!" She shot a victory sign 
at the patrons. "I've got an electric charge, 
and I'm superfast and hyper, though Lord 
Wizard doesn't think that's a super power, 
but Lord Trapster thinks it is, and I can control 
electricity, and I can do this!" She picked up a 
spoon, blew on it, then stuck it on her nose. "See!" 
she said, pointing at the hanging spoon. "Pretty 
damn good, ain't I?"

Jinnai seemed to be wincing. "That's�
very impressive Excel..." 

Excel glanced at the last member of the 
motley army of evil. "Umm, I guess, it's 
Lord Wizard's turn next..."

Jinnai glared at her. "Oh, I notice you get 
his new codename perfect!"

"Well, that's 'cause he tortures me 
hideously when I get it wrong!" replied 
Excel. She snapped her fingers. "That's 
IT! You could torture me! Then I'd be 
sure to remember it..." She grabbed 
Jinnai enthusiastically by the shoulders. 
"You could tie me up and spank me 
repeatedly! That should do the trick!"

Jinnai fidgeted awkwardly. "I'll, umm, 
keep that in mind..." His head turned 
as quickly as possible. "Wizard! Your 
turn!"

The man in the white robes seemed to 
rouse himself, as if from a deep slumber. 
"My what...?" he asked sleepily.

"Your turn to introduce yourself," said 
Jinnai, as Excel clung to his right side.

"Oh, of course," said the Wizard in 
dulcet, tired tones. "Greetings ignorant 
masses�"

Excel looked at Jinnai imploringly. 
"Come on! Just a light spanking! That's 
all it would take!"

The Wizard turned to Jinnai suddenly. 
"What are you two talking about?"

Jinnai winced again. "It's really nothing 
important..."

"Right, I'm trying to convince Lord 
Trapster to torture me," said Excel casually.

The Wizard's eyes tightened in annoyance. 
"Well, in that case, don't let me interrupt 
what is no doubt an important and edifying 
discussion."

Jinnai turned to him desperately. "No! You 
have to introduce yourself! Everyone must 
know who we are! Otherwise this whole thing 
falls apart!"

"Right!" cried Excel. "Don't deny us your 
precious words, Lord Wizard! They are the 
life-giving water that will keep us from withering 
like those plants your mother sends you that you 
put on your windowsill, then forget for a couple 
months, so that later you've got this little dried 
out husk sitting there..."

Jinnai nodded. "What she said..."

The Wizard gave a lofty smile. "Well, if you 
put it that way, then how can I refuse." He 
turned back to the crowd. "Greetings, ignorant 
masses! I, the Wizard, have decided to stem the 
tide of corruption and evil by conquering you 
and ruling your pathetic lives. Prepare yourself 
for the harsh hand of my justice." 

All this was said in the tone of a man reading 
a farm report on television at 3 AM.

Jinnai sighed. "Can't you just�gloat, or rant 
a little?"

The Wizard sat down, as if the effort he'd 
just expended had exhausted him. "I prefer 
to handle my supervillainy at my own pace, 
refusing to let the outside world dictate my 
actions."

Jinnai rolled his eyes. "Of course." He turned 
back to the crowded restaurant. "So, are you 
ready to face the fury of�THE FRIGHTFUL 
FOUR?" He threw back his head, manically. 
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

It took him a moment to realize that most of 
the caf� had shifted over to ignoring the self-
proclaimed world-conquerors. 

Most of them. "Oh, wow!" said Kagome, 
watching them enrapt. "You mean like the 
Fantastic Four! The superhero group!" 

"What?" screamed Jinnai.

Kagome took out a somewhat bent magazine. 
"Their Tokyo's latest superheroes! Mr. Fantastic! 
Invisible Girl! The Human Torch! And the Thing! 
Dedicated to protecting Japan from evil-doers the�"

Jinnai yanked the magazine from Kagome's 
hand. "Oh, come on! I just get a team together 
on the four motif, and it's already�" He stared 
at the magazine, then screamed. "I don't believe 
it! That bastard Mizuhara has done it again! No 
sooner do I create a team of four supervillains to 
conquer the world, then he rips me off, and does 
the same thing!"

"But�the Fantastic Four are superheroes," 
said Kagome. "They don't want to rule the 
world!"

"AHHA!" exclaimed Jinnai. "That's just what 
Mizuhara wants you to think! In reality, he's 
planning to conquer the world, just to spite me!"

"That's right!" proclaimed Excel. "His wily 
deceptions know no bounds! Nor does his 
evil! Why, my entire life, I've wondered who 
was causing disasters around me, causing my 
stuff to disappear, and setting places I was 
in on fire! And shortly after I met Lord 
Trapster landscaping�"

"In prison," added Jinnai hurriedly.

"He revealed to me that it was Makoto 
Mizuhara who had haunted my life like a 
malignant specter the entire time!" Excel 
glanced around confidently. "And what proves 
his evil is that I had never heard of him, or even 
suspected his existence the entire time�and 
yet he persecutes me all the same!"

Hikaru, his cheesecake finished, set down 
his fork. "Check please!"

Jinnai turned to the Wizard. "We must change 
plans immediately. Mizuhara and his band 
of ruffians should be dealt with!"

"As I recall, 'Operation: Alpha' was your 
brainchild," said the Wizard airily, as 
the waitress delivered his cup of tea.

"True, and it pains me to abandon it on 
the literal doorstep of success," said 
Jinnai in clipped tones. "But now is the 
time for action! I propose we put 
'Operation: Beta' into effect."

The Wizard seemed somewhat confused. 
"I didn't know we had an 'Operation: 
Beta'..."

"We do now!" said Jinnai. "Destroy the 
Fantastic Four."

The Wizard shook his head. "As leader 
of this group, I find such a change in plans 
unmerited. As you originally pointed out, 
the strength of 'Operation: Alpha' was that no 
one expected you to strike so quickly after 
the last time. To give it up is to risk losing 
the element of surprise."

"But as tactical commander, I feel it is in 
our best interest to defeat Mizuhara and 
the rest!"

"And as supreme leader, I say no, and 
my decisions outweigh yours."

"But�sir�if my plans are dismissed 
out of hand, I cannot command effectively..."

"Surely you can't expect me to grant you 
carte blanche?" asked the Wizard.

"If I may speak," said Medusa sweetly, 
"I suggest that we take this opportunity to 
iron out our command structure." She smiled 
benignly, then fell face forward into the table.

"Good idea!" said Jinnai, while the Wizard 
nodded in agreement. "Waitress, some coffee! 
This might take awhile."

"No shoes, no service," replied the waitress tersely.

"Oh, son of a�" He glanced at the Wizard. 
"Hand me that solvent, eh?"

The Wizard tossed Jinnai a small vial that 
he began to administer to the still firmly 
stuck boots. "Now, clearly you see," began 
the Wizard, " your gratitude for the use of 
my equipment, and my advanced 
underground base�"

"It's a sewer, Wizard," said Jinnai in frustration. 
"Putting in a chair, some curtains, and a trap 
door does not make it an advanced underground 
base..."

"And here's your tip," said Hikaru, quietly 
annoyed at having to foot the bill again. He 
turned to the others. "Let's go, people..."

"But shouldn't we thwart this evil?" asked 
Kagome.

Hikaru glanced back at the Frightful Four.

"Now, if we were the Frightful Five, we 
would have greater name recognition..." 
began Excel.

"For the last time, Excel, the dog isn't 
joining!" shouted Jinnai. "I don't care if 
you have made battle armor for it!"

"But I just know my little Menchi wants 
to serve the cause in ways besides being 
our emergency food supply!"

Hikaru turned back to the door. "This time, 
Kagome, I think evil has foiled itself."

-----

Jigen lit his pipe, casually, and glanced over 
his fellows, seated out in the Cowl's lair's 
impromptu smoking room. "Well, I have to 
admit�the guy's made one hell of a plan."

Gypsy Moth fidgeted. "It seems�risky..."

"But well thought out," noted Oddball, twirling 
two billiards between his fingers. "Back in the 
Circus, the Ringmaster sent us out on jobs 
that were much worse..." 

Jigen glanced at him, surprised. "You were 
in the Circus of Crime?"

Oddball gave a tired nod. "For some time. 
Before that I was a member of the Death 
Throws."

"No kidding," said Jigen. The Death Throws' 
reputation as assassins was legendary�as 
vaunted in some circles as such figures as 
Duke Gogol, the Taskmaster, Noir, and the 
Hand's elite Upper Circle. And their deeds 
were as dark as any of them. "So, why'd 
you leave them?"

"Nobody ever left the Death Throws," 
answered Oddball. "The Death Throws just 
left the world." He began to idly toss the 
billiard balls. "A run in with�a pair of rivals 
in France left most of the group�permanently 
unemployed, so I was forced to join the 
Circus of Crime to stay solvent." He leaned 
back slightly, catching the balls in one hand. 
"A shame, in a way. They were the closest 
thing I ever had to a family."

"You're an orphan?" asked Whirlwind, 
looking concerned.

Oddball shrugged. "So far as I can tell. 
In my native Latveria, our beloved Prince 
Ruldolpho holds periodic purges to make 
sure the people remain loyal to him and 
it's rather easy for people to get lost 
during them..."

Gypsy Moth snorted. "How very touching!"

Oddball glanced at him, sternly. "I neither 
asked for, or desire your sympathy..."

"Good, because you aren't going to get�" 

Gypsy Moth sentence became a yelp as 
a billiard ball came within inches of smacking 
him in the face. He glared at Oddball, who 
calmly stepped over and picked up the ball. 
"Sorry. Hand must have slipped."

Gypsy Moth grumbled to himself. Slyde 
glanced at Oddball. "I've heard of the Circus 
of Crime. Weren't you all arrested a while back?"

Oddball stared back at her. "As I said, the 
Ringmaster used to send me out on jobs that 
were much worse. And in this business, we 
all get arrested eventually. It's convictions 
you have to worry about."

Gypsy Moth glared at the juggler. "I don't 
get arrested. And that is the end of the story."

Oddball stared back at him levelly. "Of course 
it is. That's why you're here with a collection 
of criminals. Because you don't get arrested."

Gypsy Moth frowned severely at that. Slyde 
snorted. "Pathetic. Whirlwind and I are almost 
ashamed to be associated with you..."

Whirlwind glanced at 'her' sister. "Umm, sis�
I really don't think it's a good idea too..."

Slyde slapped the back of Whirwind's head. 
"I seem to recall that I'm the one that does 
the thinking around here."

"Um, right," said Whirlwind. "Sorry about that."

Gypsy Moth laughed bitterly. "You two are really 
starting to annoy me more than the street performer, 
actually..."

Jigen sighed. "Look�we're obviously driving 
each other crazy here. Why don't we find 
something to talk about?"

"Like what?" spat out Gypsy Moth. "The 
Tokyo Orchestra's latest production? This 
season's latest hit movie? Our favorite novels?" 
He gestured dismissively. "There's a definite 
lack of common interest here..."

"We're all criminals," said Jigen calmly. "Let's 
talk about that." 

Man-Killer glanced at him surprised. "What 
do you mean?"

"Yes," muttered Gypsy Moth. "I'm wondering 
too. Do you want to compare safe-cracking methods?"

Jigen put out his pipe. "No. Let's do what 
Oddball here did. Let's talk about ourselves. 
What got us into crime. What our powers are." 
He shrugged. "Things like that."

"Don't be ridiculous!" snapped Gypsy Moth. 
"I'm not revealing my identity to you hoodlums..."

"Glad to know your opinion of us," said Oddball. 
"And I have to say the Laser's right. In partnerships 
like this, it's better to know who you're associates 
are. A certain level of camaraderie is necessary 
to work together as a group."

Jigen nodded. "Besides, we're going to see you 
committing felonies. If we're arrested, the fact that 
we don't know your name won't save you..."

Gypsy Moth fidgeted and turned away. "Well, 
I'm not going first, and I'm not telling anyone 
my name..."

Jigen gave a distracted nod. "You don't have to."
 He waved his hand. "I'm Daisuke Jigen. My 
family's long worked for the syndicates, and I 
have sought to use my engineering genius to 
become one of the leading contract men in the
 business. And I did. I've since worked for such 
diverse talent as Batroc, Gallactor, and Lupin 
the Third. End of the story."

Gypsy Moth stared at him. "That wasn't very 
complicated."

"I'm a simple man," said Jigen. "Not everyone 
in this business is a twisted sociopath who's 
turned to crime to seek some impossible goal."

"Well, that sounds like my turn," stated Man-Killer. 
"I'm actually glad to tell my tale�it needs to be 
told. People should know the abuse that brought 
me to my present state..." She shut her eyes.
"My name is... was Mariko Kojo."

Slyde blinked. "Wh�that can't be right! That 
would make you the daughter of�"

"The president of one of Japan's leading 
biochemical concerns. Yes." She flexed an 
arm, idly. "I was probably the most eligible 
girl in Japan. I lived a happy and contented 
existence, with my stuffed animals, and my 
cheerleading, and my society parties..." A 
slightly dazed smile came to her face. "And 
it was at one of them that I met the man of 
my dreams�Takewachi Kunou." Her 
eyelashes fluttered. "Heir to Kunou Industries, 
and the most eligible bachelor in Japan. Our 
love was predestined. Taki was so debonair, 
and handsome, he simply swept me off my 
feet. Oh, I heard some people saying he 
was a playboy, and a rake, and a 
ne'er-do-well, but I knew that wasn't true, 
that the love of a good woman would clear 
up the problems in his life. I approached 
him, and asked him out for a date. It went 
perfectly. I was now certain that I had met 
the man I would marry. Afterwards, he 
promised to call me."

Man-Killer stopped here, her fists clenching 
and a scowl appearing on her face. "I waited 
a week. No response. Finally, I called him..." 
Her teeth began to grind. "THE BASTARD 
HAD GONE MISSING! To avoid another 
date with me, he disappeared!" She began 
to hyperventilate. "So naturally, I did the 
only... logical thing�DEDICATED MY 
LIFE TO VENGEANCE! I have sworn 
revenge on Taki, and all his gender! All 
men shall suffer a thousand agonies AT 
MY HANDS!" She glanced around at 
the predominantly male gathering. "Present 
company excluded of course."

"Ah," said Jigen. "Of course."

Whirlwind coughed. "You know�I'm only 
technically a male. In every other aspect, 
I am a girl. Just so you know."

Oddball glanced at Man-Killer. 
"So�how'd you achieve your�
physique?"

Man-Killer smiled. "Daddy's company was 
working on some experimental super-soldier 
serum�some old military program that just didn't 
pan out. They were trying to fix what went wrong 
the first time. I just helped myself to a rejected 
batch scheduled for destruction."

Jigen blinked. "Was that�wise? What about�
side effects?"

"Oh don't be silly!" she laughed. "I was careful! 
The only side effect noted from the batch I took 
was a tendency for aggravated psychotic behavior, 
and I haven't had any problems with that..." 
Suddenly, she snarled and leapt at Slyde, lifting 
the smaller girl by the throat. "WERE YOU 
STARING AT ME? I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN 
PEOPLE STARE AT ME!"

Slyde shook her head desperately. "Of course 
not!"

Man-Killer giggled. "Oh. Well, sorry about that," she 
said, setting Slyde down. "Anyway, the whole 
vengeance thing's proved kind of difficult�it turns 
out there really isn't a lot of money in revenge�and 
I was sort of at split ends, when I discovered 
something amazing�people will pay you to beat 
other people up!" She laughed. "It's remarkable! 
I mean�who'd a thought you could make money 
doing what you love!"

The others glanced at her awkwardly, and took a 
few slight steps away. Slyde stepped forward, 
and patted her brother on the shoulder. "Perhaps 
I should relate our story. It is, like Miss
Man-Killer's 
story, a tale of egregious wrongs forcing people 
into a life of crime..."

Gypsy Moth glared at him. "She wasn't forced! 
By her own admission she chose to become a 
criminal in order to pursue revenge!"

"Silence!" bellowed Slyde. "My tale starts now!" 
She glanced around the room dramatically. 
"Whirlwind and I were not always master 
criminals. Once we were the Respighi Sisters, 
World Class Athletes!"

Oddball nodded. "That explains the outfits..."

Slyde seemed to be off in her own little world. 
"Undefeated! Masters of the form! The epitome 
of style and grace! But then�tragedy struck! 
Our jealous rivals accused us of cheating, and 
had us unjustly banned from competition."

"But Slyde," said Whirlwind, "we did cheat. 
I used my mutant ability to spin at remarkable 
speeds to win at ice skating, and you used 
your ability to nullify friction to win at races."

"And was it cheating for us to use our 
god-given abilities to achieve superior 
results?" stated Slyde.

"Well, yes..." said Man-Killer. 

The others nodded. "Seems pretty 
clean-cut to me," noted Gypsy Moth.

Slyde snorted. "Philistines. That's exactly 
the attitude that forced us into crime..."

"That and all the money you'd won on 
bets," muttered Whirlwind

Slyde glanced awkwardly away. "Well, 
yeah." She coughed. "You know, people 
can be very unforgiving of illegal sports 
betting committed by mutants who have 
used their abilities to make the results 
certain..."

Whirlwind stared at her resentfully. "And 
what do you mean 'God-given'? We both 
know Mom had us genetically engineered 
to be like this..."

Slyde shook a finger at Whirlwind's face.
 "Hey, while I admit Mom could be quite 
obsessive, up to falsifying the gender of 
one of her children so that that child could 
win the female ice-skating medal she lost, 
it still doesn't stand to reason that she 
would scientifically enhance us to make 
our victories inevitable." 

"So how did we wind up like this?" 
muttered Whirlwind.

Slyde's eyes glossed over. "I like to call 
it�a miracle," she said.

Whirlwind glanced over at the others. 
"I think we're done."

All eyes fell on Gypsy Moth. "No. No way."

The others continued to stare at him.

"Listen," he snarled, "there is nothing to 
tell about my past, because the time I spent 
as�a larvae is not part of my life now. 
Ever since I emerged from my cocoon, 
the master of textile-based telekinesis, I 
have had no time for the man I was!" A 
beatific smile spread over his face. "He 
is dead�DEAD! All that is left�is the 
Gypsy Moth! My past does not encumber 
me."

"Except for being a Tokyo University 
Graduate," noted Oddball. "You mention 
that an awful lot..."

"Are any of you Tokyo University 
Graduates?" asked Gypsy Moth snippily. 
He waited for a moment. "No? Well, 
then I've made my point..."

" 'Textile-based telekinetics'?" asked 
Man-Killer, puzzled.

"I can move fabrics with my mind," stated 
Gypsy Moth calmly.

Man-Killer stared at him for a second, and 
then burst into laughter. "Oh�oh, man�
that's�you�wow, I was actually a little 
afraid of you�"

Gypsy Moth stared at her forcefully.

Suddenly, Man-Killer was pulled off her feet 
as her legs shot up off the floor, yanked away 
against her will. She screamed�but was cut 
off as her choker began to constrict against 
her throat, fulfilling its name.

"Yes," said Gypsy Moth, "fabrics. Delicate, 
omnipresent fabrics. Like the Moth that is my 
namesake, I spin my silk into things I can use." 
He began to levitate over Man-Killer's fallen 
form. "Also I fly. And though I freely admit 
I lack the raw power of gross telekinesis, 
I more than make up for it with finesse." 
The phantom grip on her choker tightened. 
"Am I understood?"

Man-Killer gave a desperate nod. "Good," 
chuckled Gypsy Moth. The choker loosened. 
"Try to remember that." He fluttered down 
to the ground a short distance away, grinning.

Jigen frowned. He'd done what he'd set out 
to�he now knew more about his partners�
more than what they thought they had revealed. 
And what he knew worried him. What did the 
Crimson Cowl intend by bringing in so many 
difficult�indeed marginally (and that might 
be underestimating it) psychotic criminals 
together? 

Somehow, Jigen got the impression that 
the Cowl actually knew the answer to that 
one, and that was not a comforting thought.

-----

Hikaru walked on, hands in his pockets, face 
turned to the ground. Kagome and Inu-Yasha 
walked a short distance behind him.

Miroku was walking at a more sizable distance, 
having turned into a local adult novelty store.

Finally, Hikaru glanced at a newspaper, and 
sighed. Kagome blinked. "Urr�is something 
wrong, Doctor Strange...?"

"Oh, it's nothing," he stated. "Just this latest 
headline�made me think about things." 

Kagome glanced at the newspaper. The headline 
read, 'FANTASTIC FOUR SAVE GRATEFUL 
CITY, ONCE AGAIN'. "Wow," she said. "They 
really do a good job." She smiled at Hikaru. "I 
mean, they've been operating for�a week, maybe?"

Hikaru's eyes narrowed. "And how long have 
we been doing this?"

Kagome thought that over. "About two weeks..."

Hikaru nodded, a grim smile on his face. "And 
how many times have we saved this city from 
utter destruction...?"

Kagome bit her lip in thought. "Well, there 
was the elder god�and the chaos demons�a
nd the Soul-devourers�and Sons of Satannish..."

Hikaru waved his hand. "Let's just say, an awful 
lot." He glanced at the paper again. "And how 
many times have we warranted a headline...?"

Kagome blinked. "Umm, well�we did rank a 
special editorial in the Bugle..."

Hikaru stared at her. "I don't think being called 
'the vilest threat to our fair nation since the Enola 
Gay left the runway' is a fair appraisal of our
work..." 
Hikaru wandered off, groaning. "We're a joke. 
Nonentities! And why? Because of the threats we face! 
While the Fantastic Four have taken on a massive 
invasion from under the Earth, a devious attempt by 
strange illusion-wielding aliens, and several mad 
scientists�ONE WITH SUPER MONKEYS, I 
MIGHT ADD�we have been fighting the special 
education version of supervillains. I mean look at 
that bunch back there�a man who's nearly catatonic, 
a woman who will soon be catatonic, a woman who 
might as well be catatonic, and a man whose laugh 
makes you wish that you were catatonic! That is 
our rogue's gallery! The people who irritate you in 
line for the movies! My god! What villainy!"

Kagome gulped slightly at the frantic Hikaru. "We�
we've done a real good job taking care of demons, 
and evil invaders from unholy planes..."

"Oh, yes!" shouted Hikaru. "The never-ending 
waves of the UNPRONOUNCABLE ONES!" 
Hikaru laughed slightly. "You know I think people 
have a hard time caring about things they don't 
even know exist, and couldn't even say if they 
did!" Hikaru glanced up at the stars. "All I'm 
asking is just once�ONCE�to face an 
opponent who's smarter than a piece of dryer lint! 
I mean, do I have some sign on my back that 
says, 'supervillainous losers attack here'?"

At that moment, a large fat man wearing a walrus 
costume started walking down the street menacingly. 
"Fear me Tokyo! Fear�the Walrus! Goo goo g'joob!"

Hikaru gave a mighty scream that stopped even the 
Walrus in his tracks, and then turned away, and 
pointed at Kagome and Inu-Yasha. "You are taking 
care of this guy! Not me! I refuse to dignify this 
weirdo with my presence! Walruses are not 
villainous! Hell, they aren't even scary!" 

Hikaru stormed off.

Miroku walked past him holding a brown paper 
bag. "Hello everyone�sorry for the delay." He 
glanced at Inu-Yasha and Kagome cheerfully. 
"So, what did I miss?"

-----

"So�large-breasted gaijin women, eh?" asked 
one guard.

"That's right. Every one of them trained in 
the arts of occidental love..." answered his 
friend.

"Sounds like one hell of a brothel..."

They were stationed outside a building that 
looked much like any other building. Of 
course, if you were to attack this building, 
it would have wound up feeling more like a 
small fortress, but just walking by it on the 
street, you'd never even notice it.

Gypsy Moth (who out of costume a surprisingly 
normal�even handsome looking, man) was 
noticing it however, as the Crimson Cowl had 
instructed him to. More exactly, he was noticing 
it with high-level spy gear that he was using to pick 
up the conversations of the guards. He glanced at
his partners. "Security seems... lax."

"I was wondering about that," noted Man-Killer. 
"But more�I was wondering why you have 
so much spy equipment..."

Gypsy Moth made a sour face as if he'd 
swallowed something distasteful. "The fact 
that I'm prepared surprises you...?"

Man-Killer shrugged. "Just seems voyeuristic 
is all..."

Jigen sighed and readied his laser gauntlet.

Gypsy Moth snarled. "Listen, I will not be judged 
by you..."

Man-Killer grabbed him by the shoulders. "And I 
say you will!" She began to throttle him. 
"Understood?" She started chuckling. "Doesn't 
feel good, does it? Choking? Not good at all..." 
Gypsy Moth sputtered, desperately trying to 
breathe. "What's a matter? Can't use your 
fancy mental powers, can you? Not so powerful 
when you're facing a little direct violence." She 
laughed. "I like you better this way. Maybe I'll 
make it permanent..."

"That's enough," said Jigen, leveling his gauntlet 
at the pair. "Let him go. And you�don't do 
anything."

Man-Killer dropped Gypsy Moth. "Men!" 
she spat out disgustedly.

Gypsy Moth took a couple of deep breaths, 
and glared at her. "You had better watch 
your back you brainless slab of meat, because 
the next chance I get�"

"Trust me, the same goes for me�" muttered 
Man-Killer.

"Stop it," stated Jigen forcefully. "You each 
got your shot in, and now it ends. Understood? 
Because I'm not going to have two partners 
gunning at each other. Best case scenario is 
I lose a partner�worst case, I get caught in 
the crossfire." Jigen brought out his pipe and 
lit it. "Pretty much a lose-lose situation from 
my point of view."

Man-Killer nodded. "Umm, right." She tittered 
nervously. "Sorry about that. I just have this 
thing about hating men with an obsessive passion." 
She smiled awkwardly.

Gypsy Moth spat out a little blood and 
glared at Jigen. "Why should I listen to a 
fossil like you?"

Jigen smiled calmly. "Because I'm old 
enough to be called a fossil. Not many 
people in this business can say that." 
Gypsy Moth nodded, but continued to 
eye the older man warily. Jigen puffed 
happily on his pipe. "So�what do you 
two think about the Cowl?"

The pair blinked. "He seems... smart," 
said Man-Killer.

"Yes quite capable," added Gypsy Moth, 
cautiously.

"True," said Jigen evenly. "But I don't 
trust him."

Gypsy Moth and Man-Killer stared at 
him as if expecting him to explode. 
"Wha-what are you saying?" blurted out 
Man-Killer.

"I'm saying that I don't trust our employer,"
 replied Jigen. "And you shouldn't either. 
People as�smart and�capable as the 
Crimson Cowl tend to be covering angles 
the rest of us don't even consider."

"Are you suggesting we betray the Cowl?" 
asked Gypsy Moth suspicious.

"No, just keep your eyes open," said Jigen 
quietly. "It might be best for all of us."

"Why us?" asked Man-Killer.

"I consider you two the most level-headed 
of my partners," replied Jigen. That was of 
course false�Gypsy Moth and Man-Killer 
were two of the most aberrantly psychotic 
people he knew, and that was saying a great 
deal. The actual two most level-headed were 
Oddball and Machinesmith, neither of which 
Jigen trusted in the least on this matter. 
Machinesmith was obviously very much on the 
Crimson Cowl's side, while Oddball was playing 
his own game. That left Whirlwind and Slyde as 
the only alternative to these two, and what with 
their own sibling rivalry issues, Jigen didn't trust 
their ability to notice changes in weather, let alone 
diabolical plots.

It hadn't been a pretty choice, but as Jigen knew, 
you worked with what you had.

-----

Hikaru walked home from school, briskly, like a 
very slight breeze that can't wait to be somewhere 
else, and doesn't particularly care where. Every d
ay he went to school, he counted himself lucky if 
he escaped all notice. This had been one of those 
lucky days, and he was hoping for that luck to hold.

"Hi, Hikaru!" came a cheerful voice.

Hikaru winced. Okay. It hadn't held.

Kagome rushed over to him, Inu-Yasha and 
Miroku in lockstep behind her. "Boy, are we 
glad to see you!"

Hikaru sighed. "A completely mutual feeling 
on some level, I'm sure."

Kagome blinked trying to work that sentence 
out. Hikaru took a deep breath. "So, what 
brings all of you here? At this very moment? 
Because we don't have anything to do right 
now. In fact that was the point of our last 
meeting..."

"And that's precisely why we're here!" said 
Kagome brightly.

"That's right," began Miroku. "We, your 
allies in the fight against darkness, wish to 
commemorate your heroic effort which has 
created a lull in what use to be a storm."

Kagome nodded. "You are the shining beacon 
of heroism that heroically shines the shining 
ways of heroes, shingingly!"

Hikaru stared at her a moment, quietely. 
"Umm�right. Thank you."

"And thus," stated Miroku in ringing tones, 
"we wish to present you with the following 
gift..."

Hikaru prepared himself for something 
involving bright colors and decoder rings.

Inu-Yasha pulled out a large tin cylinder, 
and handed it to Hikaru. "Ta-da..." he 
muttered grimly.

Hikaru blinked. "A pound... of coffee."

Kagome nodded. "We thought you might like it..."

"What're ya talkin' about? Coffee's one a the 
only things he seems to like at all!" groused 
Inu-Yasha. Kagome gave him a quick kick in 
the shin.

"Columbian..." said Hikaru, abstractly. "Dark 
roast." He looked up awkwardly for a moment, 
then glanced back down at the gift. "Thank you. 
This�this is nice."

"Just a token of appreciation," said Miroku.

"Right," said Kagome, "Also 'cause you 
seemed really down last night..."

Hikaru shifted nervously. "Right." He 
coughed. "Umm, sorry about being... 
brusque a moment ago. And last night." 
He glanced at Miroku. "Also, I'm sorry for 
incinerating your adult video collection last 
night."

Miroku gave a dismissive wave of his hand. 
"All is forgiven! I had copies."

Hikaru rolled his eyes. "Oh, marvelous, not 
only do I feel guilty but I accomplished nothing..."

"Ahh, Hikaru," said Kagome giving his back a 
companionable slap, "don't worry about these 
things! We all understand what's going on! 
Your natural heroishness is emerging! You're 
tired of not facing any real challenges, and 
wish to face an opponent who presses your 
skills to their limits. It's perfectly natural."

Hikaru stared at her for a moment. "You 
know, now I'm certain I've been hanging 
out with you too long�that almost made 
sense." He shook his head. "Look, I'm 
doing some research that turned some�
interesting results, and I think you three 
should hear about it..." He took a deep 
breath. "This could be big..."

"What could be big?"

Hikaru turned his head and blinked. 
"A-Akane!" He laughed nervously, 
and started fiddling with the buttons 
of his shirt.

He did this for several minutes.

Finally, Inu-Yasha slapped him on the 
back.

Hikaru glanced at him. "Thank you."

Akane looked at Inu-Yasha, then 
glanced at the rest of the group. 
"So�your�manga club?"

Hikaru laughed and nodded. "This 
indeed is that disreputable body." He 
continued laughing and nodding.

Inu-Yasha slapped him on the back.

Hikaru glanced at him. "Thank you." 
He turned to Akane and smiled. "I'm 
the president." He chuckled lightly.

Inu-Yasha slapped him on the back.

Hikaru glanced at him. "I wasn't even 
lapsing into hysteria that time."

Inu-Yasha shrugged. "Just wanted to 
be sure." He thought it over. "Plus I 
really like slappin' you."

Hikaru glared at him, while Akane gave 
the group a puzzled glance. "Well, nice 
to meet you all." She gave a rather forced 
smile. "I'm Akane Tendo�Nabiki's sister..."

"Hmm," murmured Miroku. 
"An attractive cripple..." He 
stepped forward.

Hikaru shifted slightly.

Miroku glanced at him. "Umm�Hikaru...?"

Hikaru gazed back at him calmly. "Yes?"

"I believe you're stepping on my foot..."

Hikaru seemed unmoved. "Are you sure 
about that?" His eyes narrowed, so that 
Miroku was on the receiving end of what 
he liked to call 'Hikaru's Sleepy-Eyed 
Gaze of Death'. Miroku coughed. It was 
never good to be on the receiving end of that.

"Um, no," he answered. "I don't think I am."

Hikaru nodded. "Good."

Akane blinked. "Umm, so is�your fianc�e here...?"

"Yep!" declared Kagome. "That's me! I'm 
the fianc�e! Yep!" She reached into her pocket. 
"I even got it on a card!" She pulled out a 
small notecard and waved it around proudly. "See?"

Akane blinked, then glanced at Hikaru. "Nabiki 
wasn't kidding about her, was she?"

Hikaru rubbed his forehead. "Oh, no. Not it 
in the least."

Akane smiled at them, and began to back 
away. "Well, it's good to meet you all. You 
seem�nice." She nodded, and began to 
move away very quickly.

Miroku coughed. "Umm, Hikaru..."

Hikaru gave a distracted nod. "Yes...?"

"I've thought it over, and on further 
examination, you are in fact standing 
on my foot."

Hikaru gave another distracted nod. "Ah."

Miroku smiled hopefully. "So�will you 
get off it?"

Hikaru thought that one over for a 
moment. "Sure." He shifted slightly.

Miroku began to walk around, shaking 
his left foot gingerly.

Hikaru began walking the direction that 
Akane had left in. "Right. Well, see you 
guys later. To discuss... things."

Kagome blinked. "Hikaru?"

Hikaru waved casually. "Everything's 
fine! I'll get back to it!"

Kagome picked up the tin. "You 
forgot your coffee..." Hikaru's form was 
vanishing rapidly in the distance. Despite 
herself, Kagome giggled, and glanced at 
Inu-Yasha. "I think he likes her."

Inu-Yasha nodded. "Yeah." He shook 
his head. "That's weird."

Kagome stared at him. "Why?"

"Well, it's just hard to imagine Hikaru 
likin' anybody..."

"I see your point," said Kagome softly.

"Ah! The feeling's returned!" declared Miroku.

-----

"Creepy looking thing, ain't it?"

The 'thing' in question was a samurai sword, 
which had apparently been designed on the 
general theory that a weapon should incorporate 
as many skull, bones, and other unpleasant motifs 
as they possibly could in their decoration. While 
the sword was covered with gold and jewels, the 
manner of their adornment only added to the 
sword's disturbing aura. Watching the sword 
were an old man, and a young man.

The young guard nodded. "I'll definitely sleep 
easier knowing it's not here..." He glanced 
around uneasily. "So who's the boss selling it to?"

The older guard touched his finger lightly to 
the tip of his nose. "Rumor has it�AIM..."

"The big head guys...?"

"I wouldn't call them that," said his superior. 
"They don't like people being flippant about 
their leader's�condition."

"What, him being a mutant freak?"

"Yeah. They're oddly sensitive on that issue."

There was an awkward silence for a moment. 
Finally, the younger guard spoke. "What do 
they want an old sword for?"

"I don't ask about those things," said the first 
guard. "Wisest course, I find..."

The second guard nodded, then glanced 
around nervously. "I wish we had our 
cameras up..."

"Why? So the government can impound 
them later and find out what went down 
here?" The older man shook his head. 
"That thing's a national treasure. It's low enough 
on the totem pole so a private citizen can own it, 
but it's not supposed to leave the country."

"But�well, I know it's a genuine katana..."

"Tachi."

"Wha�?"

"That's a tachi. Not a katana."

"Whatever. I know it's valuable, but�" 
He scratched his head. "It's not like old 
swords are that scarce."

His superior laughed. "Do you know 
what that thing is? It's Murasame's last 
blade."

The younger guard stared at him. 
"Murasame? Wasn't he the crazy master 
swordsmith whose swords were all cursed?"

The elder guard chuckled. "You're looking 
at the most cursed sword of all. They say 
when he made it he tempered it with his 
wife's own blood, because he wanted it 
to have the best..."

The second guard merely stared in shocked disbelief.

"And when he gave it away, his price 
was that he be killed by it."

"Why?" gulped the young guard.

"Because he'd achieved his height," 
replied his elder. "Anything more 
would have been a letdown."

The second guard shuddered. "Now I 
really want it out of here..."

Unknown to him, a few buildings away, 
a man who could control cloth with his 
mind was eavesdropping on his conversation 
in preparation of making his wish come true.

"Letting your days go by�let the water 
hold me down�letting your days go by�
water flowing underground�Into the 
blue again�After the money's gone�
Once in a lifetime�water flowing underground..."

Or trying to anyway.

Gypsy Moth glanced at the Crimson Cowl. 
Gypsy Moth had to admit the man was an expert 
in intimidation. Even when he was jiving along to 
a song, he seemed oddly frightening. Taking a 
deep breath, Gypsy Moth glanced at the grooving 
supervillain. "Would you please stop that, sir?"

The Crimson Cowl stopped in the middle of 
repeating "Same as it ever was," and fixed Gypsy 
Moth with a rather piteous gaze. "What's wrong? 
Do you lack that funky groove thing?"

"Let's just say I hate the Beatles..."

The Crimson Cowl laughed. "First off, those 
are the Talking Heads, not the Beatles, though 
both in fact rock. Secondly, there is no one 
that hates the Beatles. There are people who 
think they do, but this largely a pose they have 
created for social reasons. Understood?" He 
immediately began to get down again. "Water 
dissolving�and water removing�there is water 
on the bottom of the ocean..."

Gypsy Moth growled. "Look, I don't see why 
you're here..."

"We're a man short, remember? This job will 
take at least seven people to deal with security, 
and if I don't come along, we have six," replied 
the Cowl. "Oddball's work, that. He is a character, 
isn't he?"

Gypsy Moth narrowed his eyes. "And what 
about Machinesmith?"

"She's a background player," said the Cowl 
cheerfully. "Really unsuited for this sort of work. 
Whereas I am amply suited for it. In fact, it's 
probably serendipitous that I was allowed to 
join the assault team." He tapped his toe 
rhythmically. "We move in two hours. Please 
be ready then."

"I just don't think�" began Gypsy Moth.

"I know exactly what you don't think Teshigawara, 
and I don't care," said the Crimson Cowl forcibly. 
"There's a reason I'm the evil genius, and you're the 
hired help. In fact, we both know what that reason 
is, don't we? And so we're not going to talk about 
it, and you're not going to question my orders. Is 
this clear?"

Gypsy Moth gulped, then nodded.

The Crimson Cowl gave a cheerful bob of the 
heard. "That's good. It's always nice when two 
people of differing opinions can reach an 
understanding." He began to dance once again, 
singing softly. "Am I right?�Am I wrong?�
And you may tell yourself�MY GOD!�WHAT 
HAVE I DONE?"

-----

"A sword, a coronet, a sceptre, two rings, four 
necklaces, and an ornamented helmet," stated 
Hikaru evenly.

"Ahh," said Kagome, nodding in understanding. 
"How'd things go with whatshername?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, now 
let's get back to the Shinken shards..." replied 
Hikaru.

"Her name was Akane," corrected Miroku.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, now 
let's get back to the Shinken shards..."

Kagome snapped her fingers. "That's it!" She 
smiled beamingly at Hikaru. "So, how'd it go?"

"I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about-now-
let's-get-back-to-the-Shinken-shards..."

"He froze up, couldn't say anything," said 
Inu-Yasha with certainty.

"That is a completely untrue�indeed 
libelous statement!" shouted Hikaru. 
"You'd be hearing from my lawyers, if I 
had any, and you had any money to make 
suing you worthwhile." Hikaru thought things 
over. "And while I'm wishing for things, I 
might as well have a pony."

"Completely untrue?" asked Miroku.

"Words were said," replied Hikaru. "Not 
many words, I freely admit, and not 
necessarily the most cogent ones, but 
they were words." He glanced away. 
"When they weren't incomprehensible 
mumbling." Inu-Yasha snickered. Hikaru 
turned on him instantly. "Who are you to judge? 
You're every bit as repressed and nervous 
around women as I am."

"I am not!" said Inu-Yasha. "I've had 
scores of women!"

Kagome coughed severely.

Inu-Yasha gulped. "Well�not scores..."

Kagome coughed severely.

Inu-Yasha fidgeted. "Okay�really only a few..."

Kagome coughed severely.

Inu-Yasha whimpered. "One time, me and Kik�"

Kagome coughed severely.

Inu-Yasha hung his head. "Okay, you're right. 
Happy now?"

"Naturally. I'm always happy when you 
people waste my time," said Hikaru. "It 
fills me with exultation. Why don't you 
hold a mah johng tournament here sometime? 
I'm sure I'd love it."

Kagome gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm 
sure there's no reason to worry. I mean 
you've already located so many shards..."

"Last week one of the rings was stolen," 
said Hikaru.

There was uncomfortable silence.

"The week before that, it was one of 
the necklaces. And before that, the 
sceptre and the helmet."

Kagome gulped. "So�someone is 
collecting Shinken shards."

"Yes," replied Hikaru. "And that's 
very bad, seeing as most people can 
only get themselves killed in strange 
ways by these things. Which means 
the thief has inside knowledge, which 
means they probably have a plan..." 
He shook his head. "These are dangerous 
times. Things are breaking down, 
and there are things taking advantage of�"

He froze.

Inu-Yasha blinked. "Umm, Hikaru...?"

"Form," whispered Hikaru in sepulchral 
voice. "Form is the mold, the perfection 
from which being emanates. All things are 
descended from Form, influenced by 
Form, but only an Adept can see Form, 
and only an Adept can influence it..."

Kagome gulped. "Hikaru?"

"Maybe we should dunk a bucket of 
water on him?" suggested Inu-Yasha.

"Inu-Yasha!" scolded Kagome.

"Hey, I hear that's how ya treat people 
havin' fits!" said Inu-Yasha angrily.

"No, no, no�you put a spoon in 
their mouths," corrected Miroku.

Inu-Yasha seemed puzzled. "Why 
do ya do that?"

Miroku frowned. "I have no idea."

"Perhaps you put medicine on the 
spoon?" suggested Kagome.

"I don't think so," said Miroku, his 
voice full of uncertainty. "Perhaps 
it's a quality of cold metal against 
the tongue..."

"I'm not having seizure, people," said 
Hikaru calmly.

"Quiet, Hikaru," said Kagome. 
"We're trying to figure out the best 
way to stop your seizures."

Hikaru winced. "There are moments 
when I question our association, you 
know that? Moments when I say, 'what 
am I doing with these people'. Moments 
when I have an overwhelming desire to 
incinerate you in the flames of my wrath..."

Kagome clapped her hands in delight. 
"You're not having a seizure anymore."

Hikaru gave her a rewarding pat on the 
shoulder. "And they say home schooling 
doesn't work." He got his cloak off his 
bedpost. "Though technically I was never 
having a seizure in the first place. Well, we 
better get going..."

Miroku stared at Hikaru suspiciously. 
"So, what just happened?"

Hikaru gave a dismissive shrug. "I had a 
watching spell put up to alert me if�certain 
activities that I expected to take place took 
place. They took place. The spell alerted me." 
He shook his head. "It simply did so in a way 
that was more�violent than I'd expected."

Inu-Yasha stared at him. "So�you just almost 
fried yer own brain?"

"Of course not," laughed Hikaru confidently. 
" 'Almost' is such an imprecise word, when 
you get down to it. I merely slightly miscalculated 
the effects of my spell, and the feedback turned 
out to be more powerful than I thought. That's 
all! No danger of brain frying whatsoever! That 
I know of! So let's get moving!" Hikaru gestured 
emphatically. "Chop, chop people!"

Miroku stared at him for a moment. "So�
what's going on?"

Hikaru made an effort at a casual grin. It 
didn't go well. "Remember that sword I 
mentioned to you, a little while ago?"

-----

The world can be a very ironic place, sometimes.

For example, security forces tend to favor men 
over women in their hiring practices. Sexist 
perhaps, but a fact.

Man-killer also tends to favor men over 
women in her attacking practices. Also 
sexist, but also a fact.

Man-killer, being a criminal often fights 
private security forces, and the fact that 
they're usually men makes her very happy.

Thus the sexist practices of the one 
encourage the sexist practices of the 
other, who doesn't even realize that 
she's benefiting from a sexist practice.

See? Irony.

The complex interplay of factors was 
completely lost on the man whose arm 
she was breaking. 

"Man, this is easy!" she stated loudly. 
"I mean you think someone like this 
'Hammer' guy would keep a few kung-fu 
masters on hand, or at least arm his guys 
with advanced particle weaponry, but all 
he has is normal guys with guns..."

Oddball glanced at her. "You'd rather 
they were the particle ray-toting 
kung-fu masters?" he noted.

"Well," said Man-Killer, sending her 
victim toppling into three other guards, 
"you have to admit that it'd be more 
interesting. Not that I'm knocking this," 
she added quickly. "It's just not particularly 
challenging." 

Oddball, in short order sent out an 
exploding ball that demolished a 
walkway, a tear gas ball that incapacitated 
twelve guards, and a weighted ball that 
smashed a guard's wrist and sent his shot 
into the head of the man next to him 
instead of Oddball. He glanced back at 
Man-Killer. "I agree. These people are 
undertrained. I blame an overstimulated 
market�too much demand producing 
inferior goods."

Gypsy Moth stared at them disgustedly 
as he snapped the backs of another pair 
of guards. "Would you two stop talking 
like that!" he muttered. "It's very distracting."

Man-Killer winced. "We're just�chatting..."

Gypsy Moth turned away. "This is a 
criminal society, not a social club."

"Can't it be both?" came a soft voice. 

Gypsy Moth blinked as the Crimson 
Cowl stepped majestically past him. 
"Umm... sir..." said Gypsy Moth nervously.

The Crimson Cowl strode forward. 
"After all I'm not best served by people 
being tense, and not talking to each other. 
I want you to enjoy working with each other. 
In fact, Gypsy Moth, you should probably 
spend more effort in getting along with your 
fellow members." A shot rang out, missing 
the Cowl's head by inches. He turned and 
shot a bola at the fleeing security guard, 
then darted forward and struck the man 
unconscious as he fell. "Merely a suggestion," 
he finished.

Jigen paused from his own efforts, which 
had just collapsed a stairway which seven 
men were going down, and stared at the 
Crimson Cowl, who had followed the 
conclusion of that subtle dressing down 
by disposing of two more opponents. 
Slyde and Whirlwind were fighting in unison, 
Whirlwind's spinning and Slyde's dashing 
taking down opponents before they could 
even react. Gypsy Moth and Man-Killer 
were each taking down people with a brutal 
simplicity, despite their disdain for each other. 
But Oddball was, perhaps, the star attraction, 
taking down hordes of the security guards at 
a time. Jigen had to admire that level of skill, 
even if seeing it possessed by an individual 
who'd gladly knife him in the back and then 
sell his organs, if he thought it worthwhile 
was less than comforting.

The Crimson Cowl glanced around. "I 
believe we've taken care of these people. 
Now, let's hurry up before reinforcements 
arrive. The sword�"

"Is staying right where it is, thank you...", 
came a quiet voice.

Jigen was not the only one who turned to 
see a pale young man dressed in a black 
outfit with a yin-yang sewn on it and an 
elaborate scarlet cape, floating in midair. 

But he was the only one who saw the way the 
Crimson Cowl relaxed as soon as he saw him. 
"Dr. Strange," noted the Cowl calmly. "And�yes," 
he continued as three more figures came into view, 
"his performing troupe of trained superheroes." 
The Crimson Cowl chuckled. "Nice to see you. 
I've been expecting you."

-----

"Well, I hope you don't find us disappointing," 
said Hikaru. "We exist solely for you, the 
audience." Glancing over the crowd, it seemed 
that he was facing a surprisingly large convention 
of LARPers. The groaning bodies around them 
belied that of course, though Hikaru had heard 
those things could get surprisingly rough.

"So, who are you guys?" noted Hikaru in a 
bored tone of voice. "The Legion of Angry 
Cosplayers? The Sci-fi Fans for a Brighter 
Tomorrow Through Random Acts of 
Terrorism?"

"My followers," said an individual who 
Hikaru guessed had a name involving 
'red' in it, "are the Masters of Evil."

"Tcch. I knew it was the Legion of 
Angry Cosplayers..." muttered Hikaru.

"As for me," the figure continued, 
"I'm Death come to claim you clad 
in finest crimson, magician."

"You must be an absolute riot at 
parties. Oh, wait�I bet you call them 
soirees." Hikaru looked at him for a 
moment. "So it's 'Crimson something', 
right? Something alliterative? 'Crimson 
Cockatoo'? 'Crimson Clubber'? 
'Crimson Catamount'?"

"It could be the 'Crimson Dynamo'!" 
suggested Kagome.

"Ehh," said Hikaru. "He doesn't 
seem very dynamic..."

"I'm the Crimson Cowl," noted their 
opponent tiredly. 

"Oh," said Kagome.

"HA! Knew it was something alliterative!" 
said Hikaru. "You mastermind types seem 
to have about four or five ideas for names 
that you swap around..."

"I find this conversation strange and 
off-putting," noted the Cowl. "So I 
think that I'll just head off and get the 
sword while my minions take care of 
you." He retreated slowly into the 
shadows.

Hikaru floated down and hurried after 
his opponent. "Hey! We're not done 
talking, pal!"

At that moment, a large muscular 
women stepped in front of him. 
"Well, well Doc�looks like you're 
about to go one on one with the 
Man-Killer."

"Don't worry, Dr. Strange!" shouted 
Kagome. "We'll help you!"

"No, you won't," said a man in a 
butterfly costume, swooping down 
and grabbing her. 

"Kagome!" shouted Inu-Yasha.

"Hey! What did I say about saying 
my name!" shouted Kagome as 
Gypsy Moth carried her away.

Inu-Yasha began to follow after 
him, only to take a heavy blue ball 
to the back that sent him sprawling. 
"You know, I was hoping to meet 
you again. I just didn't think it 
would be so soon."

Inu-Yasha turned, snarling. "Clown. 
What're ya doin' outta prison?"

"It's Oddball now," said the juggler 
quietly. "And I'm something of an 
expert at avoiding charges."

"Yeah, well, I don't think ya can avoid me!"

Oddball merely smiled.

Miroku rushed forward. "Careful my 
friend, I sense�"

A fast moving blur knocked down 
the Devil-Slayer, followed by another 
blur that bored right into him. 

As he slowly righted himself, Miroku's 
gaze came to rest on a pair of flamboyantly 
dressed individuals. "Prepare to face the 
might of SLYDE and WHIRLWIND!" 
stated Slyde.

"How come you always put your 
name first?" said Whirlwind.

Slyde glared at her sibling. "Because 
I'm the leader. Now let's beat the crap 
out of this guy."

Whirlwind nodded reluctantly. "Okay..."

Man-Killer grinned at Hikaru. "Looks 
like your friends are occupied." She 
cracked her knuckles. "Okay�simple 
rules. You hit me�then I hit you. Last 
one left standing wins."

Hikaru stared at her with an odd 
forcefulness. Man-Killer gave an oof, 
and sped towards the wall, slamming 
into it in an extremely painful manner. 
She slumped to the ground, and with 
a groan, passed out.

"I win," said Hikaru, heading off after 
the Crimson Cowl.

-----

Kagome glanced at the darkened room that 
Gypsy Moth had taken her off to. It wasn't 
a very nice place, and the fact that she 
couldn't move her arms only added to her 
discomfort.

"Wha�what are you doing to me?" she 
asked nervously.

"Don't say anything," said Gypsy Moth. 
"You'll spoil the effect."

Kagome gulped, then whimpered. Suddenly 
her hair began to wrap around her throat.

"I told you not to say anything!" stated 
Gypsy Moth, glaring at her. He paced 
around the room, his expression oddly 
frustrated. "You know, if you... ruin this 
for me... it won't go very well." He shook 
his head nervously. "You have to 
understand�you look like her. Very 
much like her. And I want to�talk to 
her again. So I'm going to�talk to you. 
And maybe, when I'm finished with you�
I'll be able to�talk to her." He turned 
towards suddenly, pointing in an almost 
accusatory manner. "Do you understand 
me?"

Kagome nodded, guessing that to 
be the proper response.

"Good�good!" tittered Gypsy Moth. 
He smiled. "Oh, this will be good. I can 
feel the endorphins sluicing through my 
brain. Yes, yes, yes! Adrenaline! Precious 
adrenaline! How I've missed you!" He 
laughed manically.

Kagome gulped. This looked grim. Her 
costume was starting to strain against her 
like a living straightjacket.

"Oh, yes! Absolutely perfect!" chuckled 
Gypsy Moth, leaning over her, as if 
inspecting her by some unfathomable 
measure. 

Kagome's hand shifted, touching 
something thin and wooden. She blinked. 
Her arrows! Gypsy Moth hadn't taken 
off her quiver! She gritted her teeth, and 
grabbed an arrow. She glanced at Gypsy 
Moth. He was giggling rapturously, 
inspecting a contortion of her legs 
Kagome found rather painful. She nodded 
to herself. This was going to be tough 
and she was only going to get one chance.

With the greatest amount of effort she 
could muster, Kagome jabbed forward 
with the arrow, resisting Gypsy Moth's 
telekinesis and stabbing him in the arm.

Gypsy Moth screamed, as Kagome fell 
limp to floor. "You�you bitch!" he 
whimpered. "I told you to do what I 
said! What happens now is your own 
fault, do you�!"

Kagome's arrow converted into a 
stream of light that wrapped around 
Gypsy Moth then threw him through 
the nearest window. Kagome took a 
couple deep breaths then stood up. 
She could hear the fighting and that 
meant it wasn't too far...

-----

Inu-Yasha dodged a red ball that exploded as 
soon as it hit the wall where he'd been standing. 

This was followed by him taking a large yellow 
ball directly in the chest. 

"I see your strategic ability remains as negligible 
as ever," noted Oddball.

"Shut up!" muttered Inu-Yasha. The yellow ball 
had turned into a strange powder that was making 
blink and sniffle a bit more than he felt comfortable 
with.

"Oh�witty," said Oddball monotonously.

"Ehh, what've ya got to be proud of? We took 
care of you easy last time!"

"At that time I was hindered by less than able 
allies..." noted Oddball calmly.

Inu-Yasha noted the strange electric smell and 
the buzzing hum just in time to see the Living 
Laser's gauntlets fire. As he leapt out of the 
way, he felt his eyes swell shut, and his nose 
suddenly clog up.

"I wonder if that irritant's starting to effect 
you?" wondered Oddball.

Inu-Yasha groaned, as he tried to regain his 
balance. This wasn't turning out the way he 
thought it would.

-----

Hikaru walked forward to the display case.

Someone had it seemed, broken off the end 
of the sword.

"The blade itself was useless to me," came the 
Cowl's voice. "So I figured�why be encumbered 
by so much excess weight?"

Hikaru glanced around. All right, so he 
had no idea where the Crimson Cowl was. 
Admittedly that was odd�he should at least 
have gotten some sense of his aura by now, 
but it was no reason to panic�just follow 
the sound of his voice...

"Personally, I think it's a shame to destroy 
a museum quality piece, but that's the price 
of business sometimes..."

"Naturally," said Hikaru, stepping slightly 
to the right.

A rain of metal darts buried themselves in the 
wall beside him.

The Cowl chuckled. "I see you've had some 
training in blind-fighting."

Hikaru glanced around nervously. "Fighting by 
sound and vibration were among the least of 
what I learned from my kindly sadistic master..."

"Excellent," said the Cowl. "Than you will be 
ready for this!" Hikaru quickly blocked a flurry 
of punches, and leapt backwards.

"Impressive," noted the Cowl. "I don't know if 
I could have handled that."

Hikaru did his best to ignore the fact that his arms 
felt like he'd tried to tackle a brick wall after
first 
gingerly smacking them against a steel bar a few 
times as a warm up. "Well, I just might give you 
a chance," he said brightly, and then sent a blast 
of arcane fire the Cowl's way.

The bolt slid off a glowing sphere that appeared 
around the Cowl. Hikaru stared in amazement.

"What's the matter, Gosunkugi?" said the 
Cowl. "Things not going as you planned?"

"How...?" asked Hikaru.

"How what?" noted the Cowl calmly in that smug 
tone that Hikaru was really starting to hate. "How 
is it I know your name? How is it that the hypnotic 
blocks you've put up to hide your identity don't 
work? How is it I give off no aura? How is it I can 
block your attacks? How can I pull off this ensemble? 
Please specify."

Hikaru gulped. All right, so he was facing an 
opponent who apparently knew more about 
him than he did. He could get out of it. Probably. 
In a manner that didn't involve dying. Hopefully. 
"Answer in any order you find preferable..."

The Crimson Cowl hit him suddenly with a crescent 
kick that sent Hikaru sprawling to the ground. 
"Thank you, I will." He paced around the groaning 
Hikaru. "My immunity to your various hypnotic tricks 
you use to guard both your identity and your person 
are due to the psionic inhibitors I had built into my 
costume. These are also what keep you from sensing 
my aura." He gave a shrug. "Quite a handy addition, 
all things considered. I can block your powers, 
because magic is ultimately energy, and energy can 
be neutralized by opposing energy." He walked 
closer to Hikaru. "I know your name because I 
was informed of it, by someone who's been spying 
on you for some time now. And I can pull off this 
outfit because of my innate elegance." He raised 
his fist. "So do those answers satisfy your 
curiosity?"

Hikaru shot up, his hand shimmering, and struck 
the Cowl in the chest. The supervillain toppled to 
the floor several feet away. "Oh, very much so," 
said Hikaru. "Among other things I learnt you 
really love the sound of your own voice."

The Crimson Cowl stood up and sent a twirling 
blade at Hikaru. Hikaru raised his hand, and the 
blade shattered in front of it. "Also, you clearly 
know less about me than you think, or you'd 
have realized that your not the only guy in town 
with a force field trick."

"It seems we are at something of an impasse," 
noted the Cowl. "Both of us cannot use our 
most potent weapons on each other. This 
warrants a less�cerebral approach."

Hikaru blinked. "You know, I'm getting a definite 
impression here�a neglected childhood, filled 
with many, many books with characters declaiming 
endlessly."

"Do not lecture me on my childhood, Gosunkugi,"
replied 
the Crimson Cowl curtly. "I can say with the utmost 
assurance that you don't have the slightest idea of
what 
you're talking about." He glanced around the room,
quietly. 
"It seems we are going to have to solve this using�how

did you put it�ah, yes, the old fashioned way'."

Hikaru sighed. "You and I are going to beat the
ever-living 
crap out of each other, through the time-honored
tradition 
involving fists, feet, and objects of sufficient size
we pick 
up. Am I right?"

The Crimson Cowl gave a decided click of his tongue. 
"You have such a dry, discouraged way of describing 
everything. It makes it quite frustrating to talk to
you."

The Cowl chuckled. "You're trying to distract me. 
It won't work."

A slight smile touched Hikaru's face. "Actually,
 it already has..." With that he suddenly charged 
forward, striking the Cowl in the chest and eyes.

Actual magicians are generally in much better shape 
than is popularly believed, as allowing oneself to get

out of shape in any profession that involves hideous 
beings of extraordinary strength is unwise. Most 
wizards have some level of physical conditioning 
and martial arts training. However, wizards do not 
practice martial arts with any idea of gaining status 
from them. They do not enter tournaments and tend 
to call their moves things like 'a good way to break 
an opponent's knee', or 'will probably cause massive 
contusions'. Wizards practice martial arts with the 
sole purpose of persuading non-magicians not to 
attack magicians, possibly to the extent of killing 
them if necessary. Thus Hikaru's blow was steady 
and sure, delivered with strength and power, and 
generally certain leave the average opponent a blind 
wincing bag screaming on the ground�or rather 
trying to scream as their lungs attempted to resupply 
them with air.

His hands hit solid constructs of metal and plastic.

"Oh, crap," said Hikaru.

"Indeed," said the Crimson Cowl, countering 
with a swiping left hook. "You didn't think I'd 
leave my vitals unguarded, did you?"

-----

Miroku gasped as Slyde's fists collided with his 
rib cage. "Give it up," stated Slyde. "The 
combination of Whirlwind's air blasts and my 
friction reduction abilities allow me to reach 
speeds that are unbeatable!"

Miroku's staff slammed into her with surprisingly 
little effect, as the supervillain twisted under the 
blow, and landed a kick in Miroku's stomach. 
"Forget it, moron. I'm an expert at rolling with 
the punches. With no friction, your blows just 
do not find enough resistance to do much."

Whirlwind glanced up. "Slyde, all this 
spinning is making me naseous..."

Slyde looked at Miroku confidentally. 
"You can stop now, Whirlwind." She 
smiled. "I don't think there's much need 
to keep going."

Miroku slowly recovered his footing, and 
raised his hand to his gauntlet. It appeared 
that he had no choice. If he did not do this, 
he might die. " All right you two," Miroku 
began, "if you do not surrender, I shall 
unleash a mighty power that I keep hidden 
within me by a simple length of cloth..."

Slyde immediately shrieked and covered 
her eyes. "Ahh! My delicate young eyes 
are not ready for this sight. I'm a frail, 
unblemished virgin."

Miroku blinked. "I'll just�take off my 
gauntlet..."

Slyde snorted. "So that's what you call it. 
My god, the ego of some people..."

Miroku took off his gauntlet and raised his 
hand.

"That's it!" said Whirlwind in disbelief. 

Slyde uncovered her eyes and blinked. 
"Wow, I was suspecting something more�"

At that moment Miroku's wind tunnel sent her 
and Whirlwind rushing forward. Miroku 
covered his hand in time to send the two supervillains

hurtling towards the wall, instead of their doom.

Thanks to her friction reducing powers, Slyde 
hit the wall before Whirlwind, and with greater 
impact. She was not thankful for this fact, 
though Miroku was.

-----

Inu-Yasha felt his way along the wall as 
quickly as he could, the shots of Oddball 
and the Living Laser streaking past him. 
He knew what he had to do. He just hoped 
he had the time to do it...

Jigen glanced at Oddball. "Fast bugger, 
ain't he?"

Oddball sighed. "You have no idea." 

Jigen smiled. "He seems to have 
gotten himself backed into a corner..."

Inu-Yasha felt the corner of the walls, 
and smiled, then turned around. "All 
right, punks�now we get serious..."

The Living Laser and Oddball fired 
at him.

Inu-Yasha drew Tetsaiga, and 
deflected their shots. "That all 
ya got..." he said, quietly.

"No," answered Oddball.

The Living Laser blinked. "Umm, 
Oddball..."

An arrow buried itself in the ground, 
and exploded. 

"Foolish villains! Face the power of�
HELLCAT!" announced Kagome. She 
glanced at Inu-Yasha. "Hey! Is that the 
Clown? From the Circus of Crime?"

Inu-Yasha gave a slow, pained nod. 
"He's callin' himself 'Oddball' now."

-----

Hikaru did a mental review of his situation. 

He was fighting an opponent who was clearly 
in superior physical condition, who apparently 
knew all of his tricks, and was ready for them. 
This put him on the defensive, which meant 
that he was basically dodging whatever the 
Cowl threw at him.

A red-gloved fist collided with his ribs. Hikaru 
twisted suddenly to avoid the next blow.

Okay. Mostly dodging what the Cowl threw at him.

"Tell me, Gosunkugi, how long before you pass 
out from pain and exhaustion?" asked the Crimson 
Cowl in tones of utmost concern.

"Ha!" said Hikaru, as he ducked under the Cowl's 
next blow. "Shows what you know! Like all 
practitioners of the Art, I gain mastery of the 
universe, first through mastery of the self, followed 
by mastery of my personal space, and completed 
by mastery of the general area surrounding me..."

The Crimson Cowl gave a slightly offended sigh. 
"Tell me, do you honestly think that your rambling 
is that fascinating...?"

Hikaru did a quick check of his surroundings. 
"No. More distracting and irritating. The point is, 
I can perform acts of surprising endurance and 
fortitude, despite my delicate frame, simply by 
ignoring the irrational demands of my body 
regarding things like pain and overexertion." 

The Crimson Cowl lashed out with a palm heel 
strike that Hikaru was quite overjoyed to have 
miss. "Interesting," he noted calmly. "But it is 
still not going to help you against me..."

"Well, that's why I also was trained to quickly 
note my surroundings and create comprehensive 
strategies based on them." Hikaru darted to the 
side and picked up an antique chair. "Now face 
my Queen Anne's Chair�OF JUSTICE!"

The Crimson Cowl went slightly rigid, allowing 
the chair to break upon him easily. "You do 
realize I've also had extensive combat training, 
don't you?"

Hikaru fidgeted awkwardly, holding a chair leg 
in each hand almost embarrassedly. "Heh. 
Guess I did forget that..."

The Cowl was already preparing a killing blow. 
"Well, Gosunkugi, mistakes are often fat�"

What remained of the chair's seat was kicked 
into the Cowl's legs by a deft bit of footwork 
on Hikaru's part. The Crimson Cowl gave a 
yelp of pain as he fell face forward into another 
kick that sent him tumbling backwards.

"Or it could be part of that whole 
'comprehensive strategy' thing I 
mentioned earlier," noted Hikaru. 
"Take your pick."

The Crimson Cowl tried to rise, weakly. "But�"

"If you're wondering how I knew to aim 
for the legs, you moved too swiftly and 
unencumbered for your limbs to be armored 
as well. 'Quickly note my environment' if 
you remember." Hikaru smiled darkly. 
"Now, you're badly off-balance. If only I 
had some means of pressing my advantage..." 
He glanced at the chair legs. "Why, I'm 
holding a blunt object in each hand! How 
convenient!" He charged forward. "Now 
then, what was that you asked me about 
pain and passing out?"

-----

Inu-Yasha and Kagome glanced around, 
nervously. "Okay�where'd they go...?" 
muttered Inu-Yasha.

"How should I know?" said Kagome. "It 
was your epic struggle." She thought it 
over. "Couldn't you just�you know�
sniff them out?"

"First, my nose is still filled with gunk, 
second, I only get a general location..."

A laser shot rang out. 

Inu-Yasha nodded. "Okay, think I found 
'em." He charged forward, sword drawn, 
and slashed at the older supervillain. A 
bright shield of light formed around the 
Living Laser and deflected his blow. "Wha�?"

"A field of highly condensed light rays," 
noted Jigen scholarly. "Surprisingly 
durable, I think you'll find..."

"You think this'll stop me for long..." snarled 
Inu-Yasha.

"Actually, he's just the decoy," noted Oddball.

Inu-Yasha turned to see Oddball standing behind 
Kagome with a rather unpleasant looking orange 
ball pointed right at her head. "Now, then," the 
juggler continued, "don't try anything or I will blow 
this pretty lady's head right off." Oddball's mouth 
twitched into a dry frown. "And I won't make 
a production out of it. I'll just do it. Like that." 
He snapped his fingers.

"You let her go..." growled Inu-Yasha.

"Keep talking like that, and I will kill her," said 
Oddball flatly. "You really should follow your 
lady friend's example. She's not going to try 
anything crazy. She knows I'd leave her corpse 
twitching here if she did."

Kagome's hand swiftly backed away from 
her quiver.

Oddball gave a mordant chuckle. "Wise girl. 
Now, here's what we're going to do. First, 
you, dog boy, are going to throw away 
your sword..."

Inu-Yasha looked at Jigen. "This make you 
feel good? Beatin' me by threatin' a girl?"

"It doesn't make me feel anything," said Jigen. 
"I'm not like Oddball over there�I'm not 
vicious�just practical. I like living, and I 
like being free. Now do as he says."

Inu-Yasha glanced at Tetsaiga. He'd 
never thought he'd see the day he'd 
wish he was fighting demons. Not 
only had humanity spent the last few 
centuries he'd missed closing the power 
gap (at least on a case by case basis) but 
they were a lot more... insidious than 
demons. Demons were straightforward. 
They hurt you and they liked it. They 
never told you in great detail things they 
knew they weren't going to do because 
you were going to be reasonable, oh, 
yes, you were. They never tried to make 
it seem like they were somehow doing 
you a favor.

Oddball coughed. "You are going to 
throw that sword away, aren't�"

Miroku's staff collided firmly with 
Oddball's head. He pitched forward, 
releasing Kagome, who rushed towards 
Inu-Yasha and drew her bow on the 
Living Laser.

"I don't think he's going to be doing 
anything you two want," noted Miroku.

Oddball glanced up at Jigen. "Laser...?"

Jigen nodded. "No use staying around 
where we aren't wanted..." He raised a 
laser gauntlet upwards. A brilliant flare 
of light shot out, blinding the trio 
momentarily. When they cleared their 
eyes, the two Masters of Evil were gone.

-----

"I love the feel of solid oak," noted Hikaru, pressing

forward against his adversary's defense. The Crimson 
Cowl was doing his level best to block Hikaru's 
impromptu clubs, but the effort was clearly costing 
him.

"That's walnut," the supervillain corrected weakly.

"Nice to know," said Hikaru cheerily. "Glad to 
see your keeping your spirits up. You're handling 
yourself quite well for a man with a broken wrist."

"My wrist isn't..."

Hikaru twirled forward, both chair legs striking
 the Crimson Cowl's right wrist, producing an 
unpleasant crack. The Cowl gave a muffled 
yell as he tumbled to the side. Hikaru glanced 
at his opponent sympathetically. "You know, 
you can just give up, and hand over the shard. 
Otherwise it will be a matter of me searching 
your unconscious body, and I don't want to 
do that. It's entering a creepy realm that I want 
to avoid..."

The Crimson Cowl glanced up at Hikaru, annoyed. 
"You know, Gosunkugi, when I said we had to do 
this the 'old-fashioned way, I was lying." He raised 
his left arm, a dart striking Hikaru even as he
prepared 
to defend himself. "I had another weapon in case 
of emergencies. And you have no idea how it 
sorrows me to use it."

Hikaru shuddered slightly, then gave a defiant 
laugh. "Ha! Is that your best? Did you actually 
think a tranquilizer dart can take me out?"

A second dart struck him in the chest. Hikaru 
blinked, and then began to sway unsteadily. 
"Two should do it..."

Two more darts struck him. He glanced at the 
Crimson Cowl weakly. "Four is just overkill," 
he muttered in a slurred voice before collapsing. 

The Crimson Cowl took a deep breath. "Now 
then, Gosunkugi, I believe this little contest is 
over."

"Mmmblefgh," murmured Hikaru.

"No rematch," replied the Cowl. "I plan on 
making very sure of that..."

Hikaru glanced around desperately, trying to 
remain conscious. He wasn't in any state to 
work any advanced spells at the moment, 
but a few simple magicks might work...

The Cowl pulled a long thin stiletto from his 
sleeve, and approached Hikaru slowly. "Now 
then, I would very much like to know, Gosunkugi, 
if the things I'm going to do to you can be felt 
when anaesthetized, so please, do your best 
to tell me..." He strode forward majestically, 
like an honored judge entering a court.

The headboard from the Queen Anne's chair 
struck him in the back, tripping him.

Hikaru chuckled.

"You know, Gosunkugi," seethed the Cowl, 
"that was a cheap trick."

"Mmmbl-mmble mmlpfgh."

"I highly doubt you've even met my mother," 
grumbled the Cowl. He drew another stiletto. 
"Forget the torture, I'm just going to make 
this quick."

"Freeze, Cowl!"

The Crimson Cowl turned and glanced at 
Hikaru's gathered allies. "Oh, can't I just 
kill him and get it over with? Must I face 
these eternal interruptions?"

Kagome gave a heroic laugh. "When will 
you villains learn? The price of evil is 
meanness!"

The Cowl blinked. "That didn't make any 
sense at all." He sighed. "Look, I'd love to 
stay here and iron this out with you, but the 
truth is, I have a flight to catch." He struck 
a button on his belt. A rather compact 
helicopter smashed through the ceiling. 
The Crimson Cowl grabbed onto the leg 
and hoisted himself aboard. "So long then. 
I won't say it's been pleasant, largely because 
it hasn't." 

Inu-Yasha rushed forward as the helicopter 
took off. "Hey! Come back here!"

Kagome glanced at Inu-Yasha. "Umm, 
Inu-Yasha�I think Hikaru's hurt. We 
should get him out of here..."

"But the Cowl...!"

Kagome frowned.

Inu-Yasha grumbled, and lifted up the barely 
conscious sorcerer.

"Mmblftz..." muttered Hikaru darkly as his form 
was jostled out the door.

Inu-Yasha glanced at Kagome irritatedly. "He never 
stops whinin' does he?"

Miroku took a weary breath. "Oh, he does sleep 
occasionally..."

"Mmmmblmmm..." mumbled Hikaru in a very 
annoyed tone.

"My apologies sir," said Miroku. "I thought you 
couldn't make out words."

The group walked on in silence for a while. "It's a 
shame the villains all got away," noted Kagome as 
they reached the street.

Miroku chuckled. "Oh, they didn't all get away..." 
He gestured upwards.

Slyde and Whirlwind were hanging upside-down 
from a streetlight.

"I swear, you've made a grave error!" shouted Slyde. 
"As soon as I figure out how to get out of this 
without breaking my neck, you will pay!"

"The blood is rushing to my head," muttered 
Whirlwind.

"Quiet, bro," snapped Slyde.

-----

"How could you leave them behind?" Man-Killer 
asked angrily. "I mean�they were on our side! 
We're supposed to look out for each other."

"Within reason," replied the Cowl sipping a 
martini. Machinesmith was massaging his wrist 
gingerly. Despite his injuries, he seemed fairly 
composed�even blas�.

Most of the remaining group was in pretty 
miserable condition. Oddball and Jigen both 
seemed worn and tired. Gypsy Moth was 
covered in broken glass and blood, and 
absolutely refused to tell how that had 
happened. And Man-Killer's head still felt 
like it had been slammed into a brick wall, 
largely because it had.

"Look�what happens if we keep leaving 
men behind?" asked Man-Killer.

"We get more," replied the Crimson Cowl. 
"As the Living Laser put it so eloquently, 
in this business there are only temporary 
partnerships, that get dissolved." He 
glanced at Machinesmith. "Not so hard!
 It's still tender!" He sipped his drink, 
and looked back at Man-Killer. "In all 
truth, Man-Killer, I would think more 
about how poorly I performed if I were 
you..."

The muscle-bound villainess gulped. "Are you�
going to kill me?"

The Cowl sighed. "If I killed people for failing, 
I'd have to kill myself first. And if I killed them 
for holding different opinions, I might as well 
recruit robots."

"I could whip some up for you, sir..." began 
Machinesmith.

"It was a rhetorical statement," said the 
Cowl tiredly. He glanced back at Man-Killer.
 "No, I'm not going to kill you. It'd be 
pointless. And while I understand your 
concern, I'd like to point out that this 
mission was in many ways successful. 
We got what we were supposed to get, 
and if our performance against Dr. Strange 
and his cronies was subpar�well, at least 
it wasn't a total embarrassment." 

"I'm out," announced Jigen suddenly.

"What was that?" said the Cowl.

"I'm out," he repeated. "I don't know what 
you're planning, but I don't like it. You were 
clearly expecting those superheroes, but you 
didn't say a word of it to us. You had us do 
all that work, scoping the place out, cutting 
off the communications, taking down the 
guards�but you never even mentioned who'd 
come calling. I've had a lot of experience in 
this business, and bosses like that�clever 
or not�are always trouble. I'm leaving, and 
anyone with any sense will come with me..." 
He glanced at Gypsy Moth and Man-Killer 
pointedly. 

They glanced away.

"That's your feeling on the subject?" asked the 
Crimson Cowl calmly. "Nothing I can say can 
change your mind?"

"Precisely." Jigen stood up, and headed for the 
door. 

The Cowl sipped his drink, then idly waved his 
right hand.

The blade took Jigen in the throat. 

"Rebellion, and desertion, on the other hand, 
I do kill for." The Cowl gave a distracted nod. 
"One has to you know, or discipline vanishes. 
Well done, Knight."

An eerily pale girl hovered in, followed by two 
slightly more normal figures�a young woman 
and a younger boy, both wearing strange body 
armor. The woman carried a large boomerang, 
the boy a sickle and chain. Both had eyes that 
glowed a dull purple, and moved with an oddly 
stiff gait.

"I'd like you to meet the other three Masters of 
Evil," said the Crimson Cowl cheerily. "Moonstone, 
Black Knight, and Boomerang. I apologize for their 
inability to help us tonight, but they've been abroad 
recovering certain�items of value." He glanced at 
the pale young girl. "How did it go, Moonstone?"

The girl threw a small bag on the table. "All items 
were retrieved."

The Crimson Cowl opened up the bag, and 
emptied it out on the table before him. A 
sceptre, a ring, a necklace, and a helmet fell 
before him. "Excellent," he said quietly. He 
glanced at Machinesmith. "I'd like you to take 
care of the Laser's body. Also take his gauntlets, 
and see if you can come up with a more compact 
system for me to use. I'd like a weapon that potent." 
He glanced up at Oddball. "We'll be needing at 
least one more member. Ideally three, but that may 
take too long." He shook his head. "No four�you 
killed two. Almost forgot that in the excitement."

Oddball gave a slight bow. "I'll do my best, sir." 
He turned to the others, and gestured to the door. 
"I believe it's time to step out."

Gypsy Moth and Man-Killer nodded and followed 
him out. "You know," began Man-Killer, "I've 
got an old friend who's doing a supervillain thing. 
Maybe she'll be interested."

Gypsy Moth shrugged. "And I've got an 
acquaintance at my therapy meetings who 
I can tolerate..."

Only the Cowl and his three earlier associates 
remained in the room. Moonstone glanced at 
him. "I wish to say, I do not approve of this plan."

The Crimson Cowl flexed his wrist and 
opened a small wooden box. "Your statement 
is noted," he said, taking out a cigar.

"Do not dismiss what I am saying so lightly," 
said Moonstone. "I do not believe you are 
following the Master's wishes."

The Cowl picked up a small pair of scissors 
and cut the end off the cigar. "Moonstone�
who did the Master leave in charge?"

"You," replied Moonstone, with no hesitation.

"Exactly," said the Crimson Cowl. "I believe 
you should trust his judgement." The Cowl 
lit his cigar and took a long contented puff. 
"I'll get his little jewel shards for him," he said 
calmly. His voice took on a darker note. "You 
know what's at stake for me. I have to."

-----

Hikaru awoke for the second time to the 
sight of rainbows and unicorns.

It was slightly less disconcerting. He rose 
uncertainly.

"You're up!" said a familiar chirpy voice.

"How long was I out?" asked Hikaru, 
as his vision cleared. Kagome, Miroku 
and Inu-Yasha were staring at him concernedly.

"Three hours," replied Miroku.

"Ah," said Hikaru. "Well, I'd better 
get going."

"What?" said Kagome.

"I just convinced my body to do a lot of 
healing very rapidly, following convincing 
it to pretend to be that of an Olympic grade 
athlete. I've got about enough energy at the 
moment to drag myself to my own bed, 
and I intend to use it."

Kagome coughed. "I was just wondering if 
we could�figure out what we're going to 
do about the Masters of Evil..."

Hikaru turned. "Do? We're not going to 
do anything. I wanted to see what would 
happen if I fought a formidable supervillain, 
and what happened was I lost."

"That's not true!" said Kagome ardently.

"Oh, really!" shot out Hikaru. "Let's see�I 
got beaten up, and drugged, most of the bad 
guys got away, AND they got what they were
 after. You're right! That's a roaring success 
story."

"They didn't kill you," said Kagome quietly. 
"That's what they really wanted. You dead. 
And they didn't get it." She smiled. "And 
that means you can always beat them next time."

Hikaru was silent for a moment. And then he 
chuckled. "You might be right. Or I might have 
a concussion. Either way what you're saying 
seems strangely sensible." He shook his head. 
"I'll see you guys."

He left the room.

Miroku smiled at Kagome and Inu-Yasha. "So�guess 
I'm staying here tonight..."

Kagome frowned and pointed to the door. "Out."

"Damn!" came Hikaru's voice, wafting up the 
stairway.

-----

As Hikaru made his way home, he looked at 
the city, and wondered. What other threats 
might be out there on this night?

-----

On a dark street corner, the Trapster and 
Excel pushed a middle-aged prostitute 
onto the street.

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the 
Trapster triumphantly. "Flee harlot! This 
street corner is now the property of�
THE FRIGHTFUL FOUR!"

"That's right!" laughed Excel. "It belongs to 
us! Like Menchi! And Lord Wizard's stamp 
collection!"

"Hmmph," muttered the woman, walking off 
irritatedly. "Punks."

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Flee, yes, flee, 
weakling! You are not able to defeat us!" 
laughed Jinnai triumphantly. Project Delta 
was already an unimagined success. His heart 
swelled with triumph. "Excel, it is clear that 
we are now on the path of VICTORY!"

"Yes!" cried Excel. "We will conquer this city one
street 
corner at a time! Today this street corner, tomorrow�
that other street corner!"

"Indeed!" shouted Jinnai. "And perhaps in a week, 
assuming favorable circumstances�a city block!"

"And then maybe�a child's lemonade stand!" 
shouted Excel.

"And from there we shall conquer�a mini-mall!"

"Oh, Lord Trapster!" squealed Excel. "Your visions of 
our glorious future successes fill my heart with an 
arrogant euphoria."

Jinnai put an arm around her shoulder. "As well it
should, 
child! We have taken yet another step on the road
called 
'Destiny' to the place called Glory, in the land
of�things." 
He coughed, then glanced around. "Yes, with you
three�" 
He blinked. "Umm, we're missing a member..."

Excel blinked in alarm. "Did Medusa-chan drop 
unconscious again?"

Medusa glanced up from her respirator. "No, senior, 
I'm right here, though I'm happy for your concern..."

"But that means..." Excel's eyes widened in horror. 
"NOOOOOOOO! Do not tell me our glorious leader 
and font of eternal inspiration the Wizard has
fallen!" 
She fell sobbing to the ground. "Who? Who could 
have done such a hideous thing? Who could have 
destroyed the Wizard? Destroyed the very epitome 
of evil? Who?"

"Whoever did it," said Jinnai, "�and I personally 
suspect Mizuhara�"

"Damn the bastard!" screamed Excel.

"�it will not go unavenged!" Jinnai struck a pose. 
"I, the Trapster, swear to bring the Wizard's slayer 
to the sticky hand of justice!"

Excel gave a shriek that would have caused most 
people's eardrums to burst. (Excel and Jinnai, being 
long accustomed to the such shrill sounds, were 
naturally immune to this effect.) "Oh Lord Trapster! 
Your persevering malignant nature is almost as great 
an inspiration as Lord Wizard!" She stood up and 
rushed to his side. "I will be by your side as you 
pursue this mad vengeance! If you will be the 
sword of revenge, I will be the�other sword 
of revenge!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Jinnai. "Nothing 
shall stand against us�and Medusa, assuming she 
also desires revenge."

"Thank you, Lord Trapster," replied Medsua 
softly. "I will sit this one out."

"No biggie!" cried Jinnai. "Excel, simultaneous 
sinister laughter on three. One�two�three�"

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the two 
supervillains in tandem. " HAHAHA�"

"Did I miss something?" asked the Wizard 
tiredly, sipping a drink.

Jinnai and Excel stopped midchortle. "Umm, 
Lord Wizard," began Excel. "What happened?"

The Wizard raised his drink. "I bought a 
Frappachino. I find them quite tasty." He 
returned to sipping his drink.

Jinnai managed a dazed nod. "I see. Very 
good. Join us in our strident laughter."

"How about I wave my fist in scorn?" 
asked the Wizard quietly.

"That'll do!" noted Jinnai.

He and Excel resumed their manic laughter. 

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is our street 
corner!" shouted Jinnai. "Our conquest of it 
has been complete!"

"Yes! This street corner is our street corner!" 
exclaimed Excel. "The best street corner! 
Much better than that street corner over 
there!"

"Damn straight!" yelled Jinnai. "It is our 
own, our native street corner! We will 
die for the honor of street corner!"

"Or preferably cause someone else to!" 
noted Excel.

"Naturally!" replied Jinnai.

"There they are, Tanaka! Those are the lousy 
jerks who shoved me off my corner."

The prostitute they'd shoved off had come 
back with an angry looking gentleman wearing 
a garish suit. The apparent Tanaka glared at 
them. "Are you punks trying to muscle in on 
my turf?" Tanaka brought out a rather menacing 
looking firearm.

Jinnai blinked. "Of course not, sir, we were just�
RUN FOR IT!"

The Frightful Four darted off.

Excel glanced at Jinnai. "Pardon me, Lord Trapster, 
but I thought we were going to defend our street 
corner to the death..."

Jinnai gave a furtive shrug. "Well, I thought it over,

and I said to myself�it's a big city. We can get 
another street corner. One in a better neighborhood."

Excel nodded. "Your reasoning is flawless as always, 
sir."

"Of course it is!" said Jinnai. "I'm an evil genius!"

-----

Probably nothing, Hikaru decided. In fact, almost 
certainly nothing.

--Next Chapter--

CRIMSON COWL: Greeting, readers! Now I'm on the 
scene, and you're probably wondering what devious plot

I have next as I continue my newfound rivalry with Dr.

Strange. Well, you're going to have to keep wondering,

because I'm not in next chapter. Instead, another
boring 
hero is introduced in "Never Met a Girl Like You
Before"! 
That's next chapter, people! Once again�I'm not in it.

MIROKU: I thought you said this was my turn...

HIKARU: What was I supposed to do, Miroku? 
He had a doomsday device...

------




		
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