Trying to wade through the backlog:

Sailor Moon stared at Sailor Jupiter. Her expression was cold, hard. 

I'd recommend either 'cold and hard' or 'cold. Hard.'

"Let me get this straight," Sailor Moon said in a maddeningly level 
voice. "In lieu of an actual plan, or even making a do or die try to 
escape, you threw a Supreme Thunder into the building we stood on, 
making it collapse under our feet. Then, somehow, we rode the collapse 
down and out of the building, while our enemies milled around and 
hopefully even got crushed by the rubble. Had even one thing gone 
wrong, just one thing, we might have gotten killed. Correct?"

It worked. Never argue with results.

   

"A new General?" Naru asked. "Beryl doesn't waste time, does she?"

"That would imply that Beryl knows what time is," Usagi said with a 
snort. Having gotten a full night's sleep at the Akkona, Usagi and 
Makoto were at Naru's house so that Usagi could change clothes and grab 
a bath. Having  bathed,

extra space

 

"I hate it when you apply logic to my unsubstantiated declarations," 
Usagi said and turned to rummage in the stash of clothes.

Vexing, it is. 

"You sired her, she has your name."

"Her siring was an accident, her name a mistake on the part of the 
hospital. I call her my daughter because it's convenient."

Heh. Interesting.

Aunt Mai took her niece's silence for agreement because she continued 
talking. "Now Mrs. Wantanabe next door is having her nephew move in 
while his parents are in America. I've already met him and he's a 
wonderful, handsome young man. I think you would get along well 
together."

Mai: We call him, 'MJ.' Even if his name is Steve Funaki. 

"Yes, Ami, the sixteenth," Aunt Mai said. "He was here before the 
festival, but has to go back to Manju. He'll be back here on the 
sixteenth. I expect you to be able to meet him." The older woman fixed 
Ami with a steely glare that dared it's target to say no.

its

"Motoki," Ami said after a moment's thought. "Motoki James Watanabe."

Heh. So it is MJ. Thought as much.

***

Superintendent Souma and his Daughter Beryl lived in the penthouse of 
Tokyo's tallest apartment building. Souma had won high accolades from 
peers and parents alike for his strong leadership and cool head in 
crisis.

His elevation to superintendent had been but a matter of time.

combine this with the other paragraph

"I need only give this to my father," Beryl said softly as she turned 
the pages. "Usagi, with this alone, I could destroy you. But it's not 
enough. For what you represent, it can never be enough. Even were your 
death to last an eternity, it would not be enough." She smiled. "But it 
will do." The book snapped closed and she replaced it in her bag. 
"Three months, Usagi. Three months and then you pay for Serenity's 
crimes . . . and your own."

Hmm. Interesting. We'll see what happens.

DB Sommer




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